martyrsuggestion

[martyrsuggestion]

"this house has been built, centuries ago, refreshed and renewed, loved and reloved- and from its very foundations, it has known the patter of your feet and laughter of your voice. and soon we will too. we are making space, building a room for you. this is one of those few things that has filled me with emotion and no words. today i watched your little heartbeat."

[martyrsuggestion]

MARTYR

hymnals/memories

[martyrsuggestion]

it gets better. someday you grow up and stuff doesnt hurt anymore and youre smiling on your own and learning how to put your own bandaids on - and whatever your catalyst maybe, hold it tight. love it so deeply, not for "fixing you", but for showing you there is light somewhere, but for all its (her) own qualities and shining, you would marry it.

engaged! engaged!

[martyrsuggestion]

BOOKS OF THE MARTYR

religion love and other things;

GODS IN MY KITCHEN

a project on pain, unreality, and learning

with love

a love letter to the self, wrestling with healing

LOVR BOY: for caroline

a love letter and confessional, for caroline. on love, intimacy, longing.

I would thoroughly appreciate if you guys checked out what I have written during my time on and away from this blog. Some of the poetry inside has appeared here, and a lot of is completely new outside of the frame of work. Even just considering it!

(reblogs appreciated)

[martyrsuggestion]

please don't delete... this account means so much to me and has for years, really. back when you were actually taking name suggestions for the first time hahaha.

i have no plans on ever deleting martyr. it is as much a part of me now as it was then; i simply have grown beyond the anger and hurt of this blog. now it is a musuem and a crypt; a mausoleum to both corrupt and righteous anger, to sweet and bitter emotions. i would not delete it, anon. no worries. especially if people still enjoy it. i am glad to hear it means so much to someone else.

[martyrsuggestion]

you reach up and,

took me like kiwi from the vine,

dug your nails into my skin,

and ripped me in half;

you ate me with juice running,

with your fair chin dripping,

with the far birds warbling,

on a monday afternoon.

[martyrsuggestion]

cigarette queen, smokes herself dead and rises again.

[martyrsuggestion]

[martyrsuggestion]

i am trying to become a better person before i die.

[martyrsuggestion]

hey, i just saw your post about closing this blog, and i was wondering if there is a way to keep up with your poetry and writing? ive always enjoyed your posts, and id love to keep reading what you write (er, if you intend to continue to share it online!)

you can follow my main, which is @bloodtiring, but i dont post alot of writing on there. if you dm me i can give you other places to find my writing, but i cant promise you any of it is like what i have written here. martyr was a very clean and isolated place for me to write without restriction, thought, or even editing often lol. no one in my real life knows it exists. howrver my other writing, if its possible, tends to be soft-er and more vague. but it’s definitely out there, just not in a horribly public place. i can however recommend reading through my 3000+ posts, alot of which is my original content, and you’ll be able to see how ive grown as a writer and person. i have, after all, had this blog since i was a sortve cringe 15 year old. the tag ‘hotline to the soul’ contains the beautiful writing of my very dear friend @limnobios, or you could go farther back and find all of amber’s posts, which are just as good! i also would like to compile all of my original content into one document or a physical book soon. but other than those things, i have no current plans to consistently post writing online as i have here. it was a burden to put love and work into so much writing and never receive the amount of reblogs required to allow me to keep growing, not to sound like im whining. but im glad you loved my posts and are interested in keeping up with what i write!

[martyrsuggestion]

Tosca, Ho amato tutto / Keats, Love Letters to Fanny Brawne / Hozier, Take Me to Church / Les Misérables, Finale / Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet / Richard Siken, Crush

[martyrsuggestion]

hi everyone. its me, aitri. martyrsuggestion, which is very dear to me, has been up for just a little over four years. in four years i have grown as a person, and as a writer, into who i am today; this blog has gone from ‘suggestions’ to actual pieces of poetry, prose, and dare i say, art. recently however, i find i just dont have the emotions to keep this blog up. i dont feel jaded, i dont feel cheated of love or my emotions. im no longer giving up myself for someone else, no longer does someone rely on me for emotional support. i do not hurt how i hurt when this blog started. which is to say; its been a fun time. ive met alot of really cool people because of this blog, and i appreciate all the people who consistently liked and reblogged my work. but i am done now. experience over. thank you for the love, kids, and i hope you all find what you need. goodbye and goodnight.

[martyrsuggestion]

do not fake,

what you feel;

i have bled a thousand times,

and only now,

do i realize my sins;

so please.

dont lie to me,

if i make you afraid;

[martyrsuggestion]

she holds the martyrs head,

to her chest and, his tears are drying,

as she strokes his hair, and,

murmurs sweet lovings. he looks,

at her fine eyes and asks;

would you love me even if i left?

she doesnt strop stroking his hair,

but her smile is kind, and she says,

why do you ask honey?

and the martyr sniffs, wipes his nose,

my heart has prior convictions,

of what i know not, and this scares me.

i cannot be here forever, though i want too,

and she still does not stop her love,

she smiles kind and says,

boy, ill love you the same tomorrow,

as i love you today; if not more,

i can promise you the same.

and he nods, and lays back on her,

and together they are warm,

like the homiest of hearths;

sometimes all a man needs is love,

sometimes all a man needs is reassurance.

[martyrsuggestion]

im sorry god,

for all the soot;

ill die quiet now,

without finishing the book

[martyrsuggestion]

onto a bed of coals

i dive, my eyes wide,

i cant breathe as i,

die,

no time to bide,

no wife, i

no life, i

all strife, i

cant breathe as I dive

onto a bed of coals,

and regrets

and deepness,

lets go to the park,

and listen

to the birds sing

and you can watch as

i dive,

as i die,

as i lie,

burning, and urging,

you to,

live on and breathe right.

[martyrsuggestion]

how do i get over,

this and, its all,

its my fault so jusst,

maybe i was the spider,

maybe i am,

rancid and sick,

who am i too hate,

that you are loving,

another man? who am i,

when i wouldnt take you back,

after your third mistake,

and all my lovers,

brothers and family say,

i was too good, and,

that you were evil every,

bloody bloody step,

but i cant help but need you,

oh what a retched pain,

to lose a love of,

six years or more.