martyrwill

[martyrwill]

every mission becomes a date if you take your love interest with you.

[martyrwill]

[martyrwill]

[martyrwill]

[martyrwill]

[martyrwill]

[martyrwill]

Why do the "let dudes be friends" ppl only ever say that about the gayest motherfuckers who have ever walked the earth??? So many good examples and good representation of dudes being pals, but you have to say this shit about the two men who stare at each other's lips for a living and clearly dream about each other at night???

[martyrwill]

“Get his ass” Is so unreasonably funny to me. A huge win for the English language. Today’s version of “seize him” imo

[martyrwill]

[martyrwill]

[martyrwill]

[martyrwill]

you are so fucking hot holy shit

but do you think i'm worth saving?

[martyrwill]

why couldn't nepotism have chosen me, I would've spent all that money so wisely

[martyrwill]

need to kms

[martyrwill]

matching couples shirts that say "<- THE ONE WHO WILL INEVITABLY DESTROY ME"

[martyrwill]

*dipping a dart into an unlabelled flask and loading it into my crossbow* you better not try anything stupid because i don't even remember what this one does

[martyrwill]