marveldiaries - Tumblr blog

[marveldiaries]

Too Much

Pairing: Matt Murdock x fem!Reader Word Count: 1.2k

Summary: With his heightened senses, tonight is one night you know Matt is guaranteed to need some comfort.

Warnings/tags: hurt/comfort, poor Matty is in need of a hug

a/n: This is something I wrote in about an hour just thinking about Matt in Hell’s Kitchen during the Fourth of July celebrations and figured I'd share. It was only quickly edited and is currently just on tumblr (not AO3). Feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

Matt Murdock one shot tag list: @pazii @shouldbestudying41 @kmc1989 @ebathory997 @yeonalie @shiorimakibawrites @xxdrixx @wkndwlff @leikelle @pinkratts @lazyxsquirrel @1988-fiend @marvelcinematiquniverse @carstairswife @stilldreaming666 @kiwwia-wiwwia @willwork4dilfs @will-delete-this-later-probably @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @theetherealbloom @yarrystyleeza @dramaholic18 @ladywholikesreading @sleepysleepymom @tartbeanpuzzles @harleycao @sunflower-tia @gamingfeline @juskonutoh @kezibear @ninacotte

On today of all days you found yourself incredibly worried about Matt.

Earlier you'd called him multiple times just to see how he was holding up this evening, but he hadn't answered a single time. His lack of response had only concerned you further, making you consider just turning up at his place unannounced. It wasn't until shortly after you'd dialed him for a fifth time while desperately hoping you weren't making things worse for him that he'd simply texted you back with just two words that were clearly a cry for help.

Please come.

Your stomach had twisted into knots at his text. If one thing always held true about your vigilante boyfriend, it was that Matt rarely ever asked for help. And certainly never from you.

Now twenty minutes later you'd rushed straight through the chaos of Hell's Kitchen to his building. Unlocking the door to his apartment with the key he had given you only a few short months ago, you weren't entirely sure what state you'd find him in inside–which only made you more nervous.

You'd known what today was when you’d woken this morning long before New York City had become a sea of noise. Even before the mass of people had been out celebrating on the streets with all the cars honking and the drunken shouting, you had known how loud the world must have become for him. And you could certainly guess at how much worse things were becoming as the first fireworks were being set off in the city while the sun was still sinking its way below the horizon.

Because today was the Fourth of July–Independence Day–and you knew this night of all nights was guaranteed to be absolute hell for Matt with his senses.

Pushing his apartment door open, you carefully made your way inside as quietly as you could. All of the lights were turned off, something you'd already expected to find. Despite him not having a use for them himself, he often had them already on in anticipation of your arrival in order to make you comfortable. But no doubt he'd kept them off tonight in order to avoid the excess noise from their electrical hum. Though the obnoxious billboard across the street was more than bright enough for you.

Refraining from calling out to him as you carefully shut the door behind yourself, you closed it as softly as you possibly could. You knew Matt was here somewhere and probably quite aware of every additional noise you were adding to the sounds of the city outside. That in turn made you hyper-aware of yourself. The sound of you slipping out of your shoes and lightly stepping through the apartment was louder to you than usual, the noise making you cringe with each step as you scanned the empty living room. Even your breathing sounded far too loud.

Another loud bang bang thundered in the distance and you winced. How that must have sounded to Matt you'd never know, but you didn't have long to ponder that thought. As you'd made your way around the leather couch, you'd caught the sound of the shower running just at the end of the short hallway beside his bedroom. Brows furrowing together, you wondered if that's where you'd find Matt.

Carefully padding barefoot through his living room, you maneuvered your way around the sparse furniture in the apartment. Another series of loud, echoing booms began again, though these fireworks were much closer than the previous round you'd heard. Judging by the darkness outside, one of the many firework shows around the city must have just begun. You found yourself grimacing at every explosion nearby as you crept your way towards the bathroom.

Pausing in the hallway, you were surprised to see the door to the bathroom partially ajar when you reached it. The sound of the shower running was unmistakable now. As you stood there you could see the faint steam wafting out into the hall, billows of it slipping between the opening. Slowly you reached up, nudging the door open with a hand.

It was no surprise that the bathroom was dark, but unlike the living room, there wasn't much light from the billboard across the street to help illuminate the space. Cautiously you stepped inside, the humidity from the warm shower hitting you instantly as you squinted, attempting to see the space around you better.

“Matt?” you whispered.

There was a brief silence before you received an answer.

“Shower.”

He'd spoken the single word with such apparent pain that you hurried straight towards the sound of his voice. In the faint glow of the billboard determinedly seeping in from down the hallway, you could just make out Matt's form sitting on the floor of his shower. It looked as if he was hunched over with his face buried in his hands. Your heart ached at the sight of him sitting there in obvious agony. He seemed so small curled beneath the spray of water in comparison to the man you often saw.

Without a word you began to strip out of your jeans and shirt on the spot, dropping the clothes by your feet just in front of the shower. You peeled off your bra and underwear next, discarding them onto the bathroom floor beside your other clothes. Fully undressed, you reached out and carefully pulled back the glass door of his shower before stepping inside. You closed it after yourself gently before lowering yourself to the floor beside Matt, your hands tentatively touching his shoulders in an attempt to silently alert him to your presence.

His reaction was immediate. Matt turned towards you, his arms easily snaking their way around your waist so tight as he drew himself against the front of your body. Nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck, he pressed his ear to your throat just below your pulse point. In mere seconds Matt had quickly trapped you between the shower wall and his own naked body.

Your hands hesitantly touched him in return, moving slow and careful so as to only bring him comfort instead of more overwhelming stimulation. Left hand resting on his lower back, your right hand cautiously ran up the nape of his neck, tangling loosely within the damp strands of his hair. When another loud firework roared through the night and Matt only held onto you more firmly, you figured your touch was welcomed and you continued to slowly stroke his hair in silence.

Sitting there on the shower floor, warm water cascading down the pair of your naked and entangled bodies, you could feel Matt's reaction to every loud, repetitive bang just outside of the apartment. Each time you felt his muscles tense against you, his fingers digging into the flesh of your back as he noticeably flinched in your arms. Eventually you'd even noticed how he would stop breathing, holding it in anticipation right before a particularly loud boom rang out.

As you sat there on the hard tile floor holding each other naked in the shower, you admittedly didn't exactly know how this was helping Matt with the overload to his senses–your best guess being a form of physical white noise to him–but it didn't matter. Because you were prepared to sit with him in silence on the floor of his shower for as long as he needed you tonight, especially after the weak and strained ‘thank you’ you heard him whisper into the damp skin of your shoulder.

[marveldiaries]

Craving Her

Anonymous:  hi! could u a loki one where he and the reader are close friends and she’s midgardian and comes to asgard frequently with jane. and is late at night and loki is helping her understand shakespeare’s writing bc u know some words were weird back then idk and somehow she ends up leaning her back against his chest idk real fluffy and loki is thinking about how much he loves her even though they are nothing yet

Pairing: Loki x reader

Word Count: 892

Warnings: Beware of the fluff.

It’s hard to accept that you’re good at something when you grew up in the shadow of someone like Thor. Loki had always, despite his trying to convince himself otherwise, felt inferior to his brother. All his life, he had only wanted to be Thor’s equal. It seemed that that wouldn’t happen. And him learning of his heritage seemed to cement that fact.

But maybe, maybe she could be his shot at being better. Maybe she could be the one thing he had that Thor didn’t.

Keep reading

[marveldiaries]

The Night Nurse (Part 1)

Request:

Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)

Summary: You are the newly appointed night nurse for SHIELD and you couldn't be less excited about it. You have been given the side task of finding out who is stealing supplies from the infirmary. Soon after you start, you learn Loki is the one who has been slipping in at night to patch up his wounds and you confront him about why he can't heal as quickly as Thor. He reveals a dangerous secret he is keeping from the team and you worry increasingly for his safety as the two of you become closer over the next few weeks.

Warning: You asked for angst so I shall give you angst lol but also... some mentions of blood, minor injuries needing stitches, Loki generally feeling alone and isolated, arguing between you and Loki, very brief mentions of Loki's torture, Loki being an ass in the beginning, swearing, a pretty major injury towards the end but no one dies... a romantic ending was requested so of course there will be fluff and cuteness and whatnot it just won't be in part 1 (sorry)

A/N: I really really hope you like this @glitterylokislut! It accidentally got super long and I just went with it so I hope that's okay. Thank you so so so much for sending this request! I love it 💚

You have been given your new assignment by Director Fury and Dr. Palmer and to say you are less than thrilled about it is as understatement. You are officially the first and only night nurse for SHIELD, stationed in the Avenger's Tower. Unfortunately for you, Fury and Dr. Palmer thought you were perfect for the job and it was made clear that there was no room for you to turn down the transfer.

You were doing inventory a few days ago and noticed several discrepancies which you immediately brought to your supervisors attention. The decision had been made to staff the infirmary at all hours and since you discovered the issue, you were tasked with finding out who was stealing the supplies.

So here you are for the sixth night in a row and nothing... not a single patient, thief or otherwise to keep you occupied. Not that you are honestly sure what Fury expected you to do if you caught someone stealing. You aren't an agent and whoever it is has to work for SHIELD since no one else could even access this floor. Very few agents lived full time at the Tower and the ones who are here at night are working. This really only left the members of the Avengers but you can't understand why any of them steal bandages and gauze, it just doesn't make sense.

What is more concerning for you than the specific items being stolen is that whoever it is has been able to avoid the security system. While the infirmary itself has no internal cameras, the cameras in the hall leading to the elevators are all in perfect working order. Fury had the tech support team check and recheck the security system but they couldn't find any glitches or issues. No one had been seen entering or exiting the infirmary on the nights when the inventory went missing.

Maybe the Tower has a ghost, you think to yourself as you finish the inventory checklist yet again. You double check your count and note that nothing is missing. Tossing the clipboard onto your desk, you pull your book out of the top drawer and settle in for what you assume will be another long, uneventful night.

About five minutes later, you hear something coming from the main section of the infirmary and get up from your seat. Holy crap! There's actually a thief, you think as you leave your office quickly.

You stop short when you see Loki rummaging through one of the metal cabinets, one that you know you had locked only minutes ago. "What are you doing?" you ask him. How the hell did he get in here? you wonder. You hadn't heard the door open.

The tall prince looks up a bit startled by your sudden appearance but he doesn't respond.

"I'm not allowed to let you take supplies," you tell him, trying to keep your voice from shaking. You hadn't been prepared to confront a god, you had hoped it was some young agent who didn't know the rules or an older one who was too cheap to buy band-aids.

He curses under his breath in what you assume is Asgardian and slams the cabinet closed. He glares at you and turns to leave.

"Wait, do you need help?" you ask noticing the items in his hand are for stitching a wound and there is a hastily wrapped bandage on his left forearm.

"No," he answers in a harsh tone.

You put your hand on your hips and say, "You can let me help you or you can leave. If you leave, you can't take the supplies. I'll have to report this as theft of SHIELD property to Director Fury."

"Fine," he grumbles and walks towards you slowly. You point him towards an exam table and roll over a stool then you take the items he gathered, setting them out on a tray next to you. He watches you intently while you work, you aren't sure if he is trying to make you uncomfortable but it is clear he doesn't trust you.

How the hell did he cut himself like this? you ask yourself as you open all the tools you will need. And what is he doing here anyways? He has accelerated healing, the same as his brother. He shouldn't be bleeding this-

"Thor is not my brother," he corrects you. "And the manner in which I was injured is none of your concern, mortal."

You sit back and look at him angrily, "Get out of my mind. You know you aren't allowed to use your telepathy on SHIELD employees." He shrugs at your outburst but sits quietly while you finish closing his wound.

"Done," you say when you add a bandage over the closure. You snap off your gloves and push your stool away from him. You can't imagine he will thank you for your assistance so you add, "You're welcome, now get out. I have to clean up."

You turn away to pick something up and suddenly feel as if you are alone. When you look back towards the exam table, he is gone. You shake your head in confusion and walk over to open the infirmary door, the hinges creak loudly as it swings open and closed.

A few days later you are completing the last of your paperwork just as someone knocks on your office door. You gasp in surprise and nearly drop your coffee, looking up to see Loki standing in your doorway. He is holding his right bicep and lowers his gaze to the ground in front of him to avoid eye contact with you. His demeanor is completely different then the last time he was here.

"Would you help me?" he asks almost as if he expects you to say no.

You sigh and nod, "Of course, it's literally my job... even if the person who needs my help is an ungrateful ass."

He flinches at your harsh tone and says, "I am sorry I was unkind to you last time I was here."

"You were a jerk," you tell him flatly, crossing your arms over your chest as you lean back in your chair.

"I was," he says to your surprise. "I apologize for my behavior, it was uncalled for."

"Accepted," you say, not wanting to waste anymore time since you could now see blood begin to seep through his fingers.

He sits on the exam table you motion towards and begins to unbutton his dress shirt. You turn towards the cabinet to grab the things you need and when you look back you are struck by how annoyingly hot he is. You quickly remember that he can and will read your mind so you try to push the thoughts away but you are not fast enough. Loki looks down as he folds his shirt and places it next to him, the corner of his lip curling into a smile.

"Okay," you clear your throat. "Let's see what you did this time." He moves his hand and you see the long gash on his bicep. "Wow, you did a pretty good job on this."

"Yes, I thought the bleeding had stopped but it began again so I thought I should come here" he says.

"Good thing you did. It's going to need a lot of stiches, more than last time," you inform him. "Do you want anything for the pain?" you ask when to get up to grab a few more things from the cabinet.

"It doesn't hurt," he shakes his head.

"Really?" you ask, not sure if you believe him but you don't press the issue.

You sit close to him on your stool and begin to work on his arm quietly. Loki doesn't make a single sound or move an inch while you clean and stitch his wound. You reach for the tray to grab something and realize he is watching you again but this time he's studying you and not your work.

"So what happened?" you ask him. You are fairly certain he wasn't sent on a mission this week.

"Training with Thor," he says simply.

You nod, sensing that he won't give any more details even if you continue to ask him questions. You glance over at his right forearm and pause mid-stitch when you don't see the injury you treated last time.

"It healed," he answers before you can ask what happened.

"Stop reading my mind," you tell him and go back to what you were doing. He doesn't respond and you assume that means he doesn't intend to listen to you. You decide to search your mind for a song that can easily get stuck in a person's head, hoping that if he does go sifting through your thoughts he will at least be annoyed. It might be childish, but it's the best solution you can think of at the moment.

You look up at him when you are finished, sitting back on your stool you say, "I know the other day wasn't the first time you snuck in here." He tightens his jaw and gets up from the table, buttoning his shirt without saying a word.

"Are you the one who's been stealing supplies?" you ask him even though you know he is. He ignores your question but you don't think it is because he is being rude like last time. He almost seems distressed that you know his secret so you add, "I didn't tell anyone it was you."

"I know you didn't," he finally responds. "I assumed Fury would have spoken to me if you had." He is silent for a moment than he says, "Thank you," before turning to leave the exam room.

"Wait," you follow after him. "I can't keep hiding this from Dr. Palmer and Director Fury. They are going to want to know who was taking the supplies."

He turns to face you, "Why didn't you tell them it was me?" His curiosity seems genuine, as if he fully expected you to turn him in the first time you saw him here.

"I'm not sure," you shrug. "I guess I wanted to talk to you about why first you were doing it but then you pissed me off and I just wanted you out of here as soon as possible."

He nods, "Again, I apologize for how I spoke to you. I was not expecting anyone to be here but that is not an excuse."

You are stunned by the second apology and the abrupt change in his attitude since last time. Maybe I'll have a better chance of finding out why he is clearly not healing well now.

"I would rather not discuss that tonight," he says as he walks away from you and you know he read your mind again.

"Loki, I can't pretend I don't know it's you for much longer. Fury is going to want to know why the supplies are missing. It's the whole reason I'm here this late," you tell him.

He puts his hand on the door to leave and looks back at you, "I know you do not owe me this but please, do not tell anyone... at least not yet."

You sigh, "Fine, but this is the last time."

He nods and you watch in awe as he simply vanishes from sight. So that's how he gets passed all the cameras, he can just disappear?

It's been a week since you've seen Loki and after the fourth day you had decided he wasn't going to come back. You hope you will be able to finish out the next few weeks without any additional discrepancies in the inventory and things would go back to normal. Just as you are about to open your book, you hear him call your name and you roll your eyes. Of course he's back, nothing ever works out simply for me.

You walk out of your office to meet him, expecting to find the God of Being Annoying and Evasive needing a handful stitches like he has the last two times he visited but he appears fine. "Hi again," you greet him with the least excited tone you can manage.

He grimaces and takes a few steps towards you but falls, grabbing his side tightly as he collapses onto one knee. You move quickly to grab him but don't see anything wrong until he moves his hand and his illusion flickers. There's blood on his hand but it vanishes then appears again when his magic gives out. His shirt is covered in blood and you hold onto him, helping ease him to the floor.

"What the hell happened?" you ask trying not to panic. You remember your training and move his shirt to the side so you can see the injury clearer. He flinches when you press his hand on the open wound and tell him to keep it there. "Shit," you mumble a curse then get up to grab everything you need.

You kneel next to him and take care of his wound as quickly and cleanly as possible, stitching the long, deep cut closed. Thankfully it wasn't any deeper or you might have needed to call for help, the wound was too close to his lung to not be taken seriously. When you finish you help him sit up slowly and he uses his magic to clean the blood off his clothing.

"You need to stay here and rest," you urge but he shakes his head no.

"It will heal," he says and he tries to get up. You help him so he doesn't hurt himself further but you keep your hands on his arm. "Thank you," he tells you then takes a step away from you but you don't let go.

"Stop," you get his attention. "You can't leave, this wasn't just some little cut. You were stabbed really close to your lung. This isn't okay Loki, you're not fine."

He takes a deep breath as if to prove his lungs are clear and says, "I appreciate your concern, Y/N, I truly do but I need to deal with this on my own."

"No you don't," you argue. "Just tell me what's wrong, maybe I can help."

He shakes his head, "You are an excellent healer but this is beyond you."

"I don't get it, why are you getting so badly hurt. I thought you had accelerated healing abilities like you bro- like Thor," you correct yourself before he has the chance.

He gently rests his hand over the wound on his side and tries to reassure you. "I will heal, it just takes a bit longer than it used to. Thank you once again for your help Y/N," he says before he vanishes.

Three nights later, you are sitting at your desk looking down at your tablet while you drink your second cup of coffee. You've clicked on Loki's file but haven't opened it yet, your fingers drumming on the desk rhythmically as you think. You have treated him several times now so it isn't a violation of his privacy to view his chart but for some reason it feels like it is. You sigh and open his file, maybe whatever he is hiding from me is in here.

You intend to skim his chart then log his recent visits like you should have been doing but you pause completely confused. His file is almost blank, his name and general information has been filled out but there is not a single visit to the infirmary listed. How is that possible? He must have been able to heal at one point but he doesn't seem to be able to anymore.

You exit his file without adding anything, determined to talk to him the next time you see him. You only need to wait fifteen minutes before he knocks softly on your office door.

"Loki, are you okay?" you ask, your voice has more concern than you meant.

He nods and holds out his hand when you walk towards him, "It is only a small wound tonight."

You look closely at the back of his hand and agree, he will only need a butterfly bandage or two and some gauze. You hold his wrist gently and lead him into one of the exam rooms. Loki sits on the table and you roll your stool close to him with your tray of supplies next to you.

"What happened?" you ask, reaching for the tape and he hands it to you, "Thanks."

"A training accident," he says and you nod, unsurprised.

"I need to log this into your file," you say as you throw out the garbage. "The other injuries too," you add.

"I would rather you didn't," he says.

"I know but I need to, it's proper procedure. I could get in trouble if I don't," you explain. "I could lose my job."

He sighs and remains seated on the table. You sit on the stool again and move closer to him. "I'm sorry, I never meant to cause you trouble," he says.

"You're a nurse," he says, but his tone isn't condescending like it is when some people call you a nurse, it is as if he is simply clarifying a fact.

"Well... maybe if you tell me what's going on, I can keep it out of the record," you suggest. He looks up at you as you can tell he is thinking about your suggestion. "I can't tell anyone what we talk about, if that's what you're worried about, doctor - patient privilege and all," you explain with a smile.

"Yeah... it's the same concept," you sigh. "Loki, you can trust me. I don't want to see you keep getting hurt like this," you tell him honestly, touching his hand lightly and he looks into your eyes.

You aren't sure if he is reading your mind or not but finally he says, "You must promise me, no one will know what I am going to tell you."

"I swear," you agree.

Loki shifts uncomfortably on the lightly padded table and looks down at your hand over his. He sighs deeply then says, "I cannot heal the same way Thor does, I have never been able to."

"What!?" you ask unable to hide your shock. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that but... I don't understand."

He says, "Accelerated healing is an Asgardian trait and I am not a full Asgardian, I am half frost giant. When I was a child, I thought I healed slowly simply because I was smaller and weaker than Thor but now my lack of abilities makes sense."

"But how did you hide it all this time?" you ask. "Someone must have noticed you were always getting hurt."

"And no one knows, not even your brother?" you ask in disbelief.

"My mother helped me," he explains. "She taught me to use my magic to create illusions to hide my injuries and dull my pain. When I was alone, I would use my spells and potions to heal myself."

"Not even Thor," he shakes his head.

"But wait... so this was obviously working fine for the last thousand or so years, why isn't it working now?" you ask confused.

"There is something wrong with my magic," he tells you and your heart sinks. "It has been fading since I was taken by the Mind Stone."

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

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[marveldiaries]

Hellooo, hope u r doing good , I rly like ur work like it's all amazing ♡

Can I request Loki having a friend who is a mortal -female reader- but she is a mutant who can take up body energy -like Rogue in X-Men- and that's why she was always alone till her and Loki met and she defends him infront of the avengers, and he falls for her slowly ig 😅 -smut or fluff as u want-

Ik it's kinda lame, if u can't write it's alright

In all cases, thanks for the amazing writings ♥️

You Can't Hurt Me

Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)

Summary: You are finally going on a solo mission as an Avenger, or at least you were supposed to. At the last minute, the team decides to send Loki with you which is something neither of you are happy about. After an accident in the field, you come in contact with Loki and the two of you realize your ability to absorb someone's life force, memories and powers doesn't work on him.

Warnings: arguing, swearing, feeling alone, pushing others away, minor injuries, plane crash, Loki being an ass to everyone including you - fluff in the end of course

A/N: I'm so sorry it took me forever to get to this ask. I'm finally going through my requests and I thought this idea was awesome! I tweaked it just a little cause my brain kept going in different directions but I really hope that's okay. Thank you for sending it! I hope you like it! 💚

"Are you freaking kidding me?" you ask in an annoyed tone as you get up from your seat in Steve's office.

Before Steve can reply Loki stands and adds, "I have never agreed with a mortal before but I am afraid I must in this case."

You glare at him and cross your arms. He could agree with you without being an ass about it, you think angrily.

Steve sighs and rubs his temples. "Look Y/N, I know you were supposed to go on this mission alone," he says and you nod dramatically, "But Fury, Tony and I decided Loki's skills would be useful on this mission."

"Then let me borrow his powers," you look at Loki and begin to pull off one of your gloves.

"If you touch me-" he threatens as a dagger appears in his hand with a green flourish. You put your glove back on slowly but you smile to yourself knowing you made the god nervous.

"Stop it, both of you!" Steve says loudly, slamming his hand on the desk. You and Loki both sit immediately on the chairs opposite Steve, you suddenly feel as if you are at the principal's office. He clears his throat and calms himself before he continues, "So far teamwork is not something either of you have excelled at. If you both want to remain on this team," he emphasizes the word, "you will go on this mission together."

"This is absurd," Loki argues and you roll your eyes but agree with him.

"What's absurd is the fact that neither of you are willing to work with anyone," Steve counters. "You are here because you have both been written up for splitting off from the team when we have explicitly ordered you not to."

"You know I'm better off alone," you tell him holding up a gloved hand. "The X-Men never had an issue with me going on solo missions or handling things on my own."

"You are welcome to return to the mutants," Loki offers with a smirk.

"Loki, seriously?" Steve says with an exasperated sigh but the god just shrugs.

"Y/N, just because you can't physically touch anyone doesn't mean you can use it as an excuse to avoid being near people or working with them forever," Steve says turning his attention to you.

"Yes it does," you mumble and sulk down in your chair with your arms crossed.

"And you," he ignores your comment and turns to Loki, "you are still on probation. If you want to remain here, and not be sent back to Asgard, you need to act like a member of this team."

Before either of you can say anything else, he gets up and says, "If you can't work with each other, neither of you will last much longer here. You're dismissed."

You snap your gum and click to the next page of the book you are reading on your tablet. Loki sits across from you with his nose in a book as the autopilot guides the jet towards your destination. You pop your gum again and Loki groans in annoyance. A smirk spreads across your lips, you would feel guilty about bothering him but he spent the morning calling you 'human' so you pop it loudly a third time.

"Will you stop that," he hisses, looking up from his book.

"It's an old habit," you make an excuse and shrug.

"It is an exceptionally annoying habit," he corrects you.

You hold eye contact with the God of Mischief and pop your gum in response. He practically growls as he closes his book but his words are cut off by a warning alarm blaring throughout the jet.

"What the hell is that?" you ask, getting up from your seat.

"I have no idea," he admits as he follows you to the cockpit of the jet.

The plane shakes violently and you almost lose your footing, Loki instinctively reaches out to steady you, his hand grabbing your clothed arm. You nod quickly to acknowledge the gesture and the two of you reach the control panel. A series of red lights blink frantically and your heart races as you try to decipher what is wrong but neither of you knows how to operate the jet.

You flip the switch to contact the base, "Tony what the hell is going on up here?" You know the panic is evident in your voice.

The only response you and Loki get is the crackle of static then suddenly one of the two engines goes terrifyingly silent.

You blink your eyes open slowly, your head pounds and your whole body aches. The smell of smoke and fire fill the air and your eyes sting. You try to sit up and hear someone talking but you can barely make out their words over the ringing in your ears.

"Y/N," Loki says again, shaking your shoulder lightly to get your attention. "Are you alright?" His lip is split and he is covered in dirt. His eyes are full of concern as he kneels over you, not something you are used to from the God of Mischief.

"Yea," you answer him quietly as he leans back a bit so you can sit up straighter, "I think so." You look around in awe at the torn and broken remains of the jet scattered throughout the field, unsure how you are both alive.

"I've radioed the team, they should be here in less than an hour," he informs you in a calm voice.

He rubs your shoulder in a soothing manner and you close your eyes as a breeze blows dust around you both. You shiver a bit and realize your jacket was torn during the crash, panic floods through you when you notice how much of your skin is exposed. Loki's hand gently rests on the bare skin on your shoulder and you pull away from him quickly.

"Don't touch me," you warn him and he backs away from you, his hands up in front of him. "You can't touch me, I'll hurt you," you remind him, trying to cover your skin with as much of left over material as you can. You try to get up to put distance between you and the god but you can't put weight on your left leg, it buckles under you and you fall back to the ground. You look down and see clean gauze wrapped tightly around your calf, your pant leg torn open from whatever caused your injury.

You look down in shock then look up at Loki. "How did you do this?" you ask, noticing the blood on his hands.

He shakes his head, "I don't know. I wasn't thinking, I just needed to stop the bleeding."

"I need to talk to you," he says unphased by your attitude which makes you nervous. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about what happened after the crash." He rubs his hands nervously as if your blood is still on them.

That night you lay in bed staring at the ceiling unable to sleep. When you first climbed into bed, you worried the memories of the crash would prevent you from sleeping but it was the moments after that kept replaying in your mind. Closing your eyes, you can almost still feel Loki's warm hand resting gently on your skin. You roll over, pulling the sheets tightly around yourself when to hear a knock at your door. You sit up and check the clock next to your bed, it's just after midnight.

You limp carefully to the door and open it, unsure who you expect to see. "What do you want?" you ask Loki, easily returning to how you typically treat each other.

You take a step back to let him into your room. You feel anxious knowing he is the first member of the team you've ever invited into your private space. Loki takes a seat on your couch as you pick up your hoodie that is hanging by the door.

"I think I know why I could touch you without your powers affecting me," he says and you look up at him, pausing as you zip your hoodie.

You shake your head and take your gloves out of the pockets. "Strange said it was most likely because I was unconscious," you remind him.

"I don't think your powers work on me," he says after a few moments of silence pass between you both.

"You and I both know that's not true," he keeps his eyes on you as you slip on one glove then the other.

You sit at the far end of the couch, afraid that he is wrong about whatever his theory is. He is right about one thing though, Strange's reasoning didn't explain why Loki was able to touch the skin on your shoulder after you woke up. You had done everything you could since you arrived back home to not think about how that was possible, you were terrified that it was some sort of fluke and would never happen again.

"They work on your brother," you remind him. You had grabbed the older prince by the wrist for only a few seconds during a training session two months ago. You were unable to contain his lightning abilities and fried all the computers in the lab. Thor spent the next four hours unconscious in the med bay. "Being a god doesn't make you special," you tell him in a harsher tone then you mean to.

"Thor and I are not..." he sighs. "We are not the same. You know we are not true brothers?" he asks and you shake your head. "Thor is an Asgardian and although I look like one, I am not."

"So whatever you are is why you think I can touch you?" you ask.

"It is hard to explain," he tells you. "I am from Jotunheim, realm of the frost giants. This is not my true form. I use an illusion to alter my appearance as Odin did before I knew the truth." You can tell by his tone that this is not a story he is used to sharing with others.

You take off your gloves and look at your own hand, remembering the pain and heartache even a light touch has caused to others around you. "Are you sure you want to risk this for me Loki?" you ask. "If you're wrong... I could seriously hurt you."

You listen quietly as he explains how he was taken as a baby and brought up on a series of lies. He rubs his hands nervously as he talks and never makes eye contact with you, staring at the ground as he speaks. When he finishes he lifts his hand and looks at it as he wiggles his fingers slowly, a green glow emanates from his fingertips and flows down his hand. As his magic travels, his skin slowly turns a deep shade a blue, thin ridges form intricate spirals on the back of his hand.

"This is just a well crafted illusion," he says as the glow retracts and the blue fades away.

"If I'm right... you might not need to be so alone," he counters gently.

"I... I don't believe this," you smile. Tears of joy and relief gather as you slowly look up at Loki.

He holds his hand towards you, palm up waiting patiently for you to move. Slowly, you reach you hand out, your heart pounding in your chest. Your fingertips lightly touch his fingertips and you hold your breath as you wait for the pain to spread through both of you but nothing happens. Your eyes lock on your hands as you slide your fingers towards his open palm. You still don't feel anything as you rest your palm on his, your fingers settling on his wrist.

He closes his fingers around your hand and you let out a laugh in shock and disbelief. There is no pain, no burning on your skin or in his veins as his memories are pulled from him or his powers are absorbed. Just his warm, soft skin against yours, a feeling you had almost forgotten.

"You can't hurt me," he says when your eyes met.

"I can't hurt you," you repeat. He raises his other hand to wipe away one of your tears as it travels down your cheek. The simple gesture draws even more tears. It has been so many years since you have been able to feel another person, you can barely hold yourself together. You get up suddenly and walk away from him.

"I'm sorry," he says as he stands.

"It's not... you didn't do anything wrong," you assure him as you wipe your face then wrap your arms around yourself. "It's been almost ten years since I've touched someone I wasn't trying to harm. When I gained my powers, I severed my connection to everyone I've ever loved or cared about. My family, my friends, my coworkers. I left all of them."

He listens to you quietly, not moving closer.

"I'm terrified of hurting the people I care about, that's why I left the X-Men. I was there for eight years and I was becoming too close to everyone. I was constantly afraid someone would try to hug me or give me a high five or just bump into me in the hall. I had to leave and when I came here..." you look down, ashamed of how you acted. "I avoided everyone and antagonized you on purpose so no one would want to be friends with me. I thought it would be easier, safer if no one ever wanted to be near me."

"I understand," he says and you look up as he takes a few steps towards you. "I have my own experience building walls to keep everyone out, even my brother. My reason for keeping the others away is far less noble than yours. You push people away to keep them safe while I push them away to keep myself safe."

"I have been lied to and betrayed by my family my whole life," he reminds you of your conversation only minutes ago. "If I never let anyone in, if I never care about anyone, then they can never hurt me. It's why I've been so rude and condescending to everyone on the team, including you," he admits.

You are quiet for a moment, you know exactly what you want but you are afraid he will turn down your request. "Can I..." you pause and he gives you an encouraging smile. "Can I have a hug?"

"I'm sorry for how I treated you," he tells you honestly. "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

"I'm afraid I am not very good at hugs," he says and when you look at the ground he adds, "But I can give it a try, for you."

You can't stop the smile that spreads across your face as you move towards him. He puts his arms around you, pulling you close. You wrap your arms around him, your hands settle on his back and your cheek rests against his chest. He is stiff in your arms but after a second, he seems to relax and lowers his cheek to rest on the top of your head.

You close your eyes and listen to his heartbeat, his breathing slows and you feel as if all the tension is leaving your body. After a moment you mumble something against his chest and he chuckles.

"I have no idea what you said," he tells you.

You lift your head and look up at him. "This is the first hug I've had in close to ten years," you repeat.

He touches your cheek gently and says, "That is truly a shame because you give wonderful hugs." You giggle and blush then he adds, "This is the best hug I have had in a very, very long time and I do not plan on letting go any time soon."

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

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[marveldiaries]

             —   FROM THE VOID, WITH LOVE    !

                             AO3     |     SPOTIFY     |     PINTEREST

a masterpost for the drabble series by yours truly. a revisitation of a well-loved story; watch two forever-lovers fall in love again. canon divergent, set during loki (2020). 

READ ME !  /  completed  ;  8/14/21

1.    the beginning of the beginning  2.    apartment CMY9 3.    dress code 4.    pester pester 5.    absolutely miserable 6.    blunder #1 7.    expectations 8.    control variable 9.    a time disguise 10.  fingers entwined 11.   half a sandwich 12.  beauty sleep 13.  the perfect storm 14.  a million meteorites 15.  keep on 16.  home is the heart 17.  petal-mouthed 18.  rib of adam 19.  desperation 20.  heart-haunted 21.  touch 22.  one more almost 23.  an ode to the void 24.  the catharsis of venus 25.  the end of the beginning

PART TWO:   BEYOND THE VOID !

SCROLL ME !

1.   the sacred timeline 2.   the variant timeline files 3.   the tag 4.   the god & the scientist 5.   fan art

[marveldiaries]

Hello and hi, my lovely!

I have this scenario for you that I sometimes think about.

How would Loki react if you (the mortal he might have feelings for but he’s not quite certain yet) were the only one to acknowledge his birthday? Maybe you put up a few balloons and even buy him a little cupcake with a candle on it? How would he react?

Happiest of birthdays to you! You’re a joy to know!! I love you!! 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

Cupcake For a God {Avengers!Loki x Avengers!Reader}

Cee's Loki Fic Masterlist / AO3 Link

Pairing : Avengers!Loki x Avengers!Reader

Summary : Loki’s birthday is approaching, and it forces himself to reconcile who he wants to be versus who he actually is, and to reflect on his almost certainly unrequited feelings for you.

But what if the feelings weren’t unrequited?

W/c : 1.9k words

Content/Warnings : Angst, a bit of fluff

Author's Note : I swear I tried so hard to make this not so angsty! Please forgive me, Saz! 😭😭😭

⊱ ── ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ──  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅  ── ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ── ⊰

There were a lot of things for Loki to dislike about living on Midgard. 

For starters, he was being forced to live there, inside Stark Tower with the other Avengers as penance for his crimes. It was only fitting, they’d told him, that he should assist in their efforts to keep the mortals safe because he was the reason they needed protecting in the first place.

Loki didn’t bother telling them what Thanos had done to him after he fell from the Bifrost; truthfully, he still didn’t quite understand it himself. That entire year was a blur to him - a painful concoction of lies and manipulations and tears and blood that left him unable to tell the difference between fact and fiction, even almost two years after the torture had began. 

He didn’t want anyone to know how weak he was, about how much he’d lost himself. If they knew how vulnerable he was, they might decide he wasn’t worth the trouble and send him to the dungeons of Asgard instead. 

Another thing he disliked was the forced pleasantries and unnecessary rituals humans had developed with each other, and by extension, him. The humans would smile as they past him by on the street, but it was a falsity every time; the sentiment never reached their eyes, and Loki could smell their fear from several blocks away. 

Loki knew they didn’t actually care how his day was going, that their concern only went as far as making sure he wasn’t on the verge of invading with another alien force under his command. He wasn’t, but honestly, if it meant everyone kept their distance, then he wasn’t going to argue with it. 

It wasn’t fair to say that Loki preferred being alone, but he was certainly used to it, and that was in direct contradiction of the forced socialization he had to endure on Midgard - press conferences, team building exercises (which Loki believed was just an excuse to consume copious amounts of food and drink), training sessions, something called “movie nights”, and missions across the world to dismantle S.H.I.E.L.D.’s various bunkers and bases. 

It was so much talking, and even more listening. So much lying and pretending that everything was fine, that Loki didn’t feel like a caged monster, and that everyone else wasn’t waiting for the littlest thing to completely set him off. 

But Loki was trying as hard as he could to ignore the dull ache that haunted his dreams and every waking moment. He knew he had hurt people, he knew he needed to make up for his grievous transgressions, but he didn’t know how else to make up for it all. So he pressed on, through the discomfort and awkwardness, in the hope that one day everything might become a little easier.

The one bright side to all of this, the one shimmering ray of light amidst the sea of gray, was you. Loki didn’t quite know what to make of his attraction to you - was it real, or was it just your absence of fear in his presence? Had it just been too long since he’d felt the touch of another, or were you actually everything he’d ever wanted?

Loki almost didn’t want to find out, in case it wasn’t real. Because your smile reached your eyes every time you looked at him, and your laughter was like sparks blowing across the embers of a dying fire…but he couldn’t shake the fear that it could just be another trick. 

Perhaps his mind still hadn’t fully recovered from Thanos’ torture. Maybe Thor had put you up to this, as a way of making assimilation easier for him. 

Because why else would you look at him like that? Why would you go out of your way to sit next to him during the team’s movie nights? Why else would you lean towards him on the couch and fall asleep against the shoulder of a villain, of a monster, of a fool? 

It was stupid, and pointless, and illogical, and just like him to irrationally want something he couldn’t ever have. He was a God, and you were a mortal, and it would ultimately end in heartache either way. So while he had the chance, Loki forced himself to remain content and to just linger in the question of what if you could want him too. 

The final thing about Midgard, and the one he despised the most, was the mortal obsession with birthdays. Loki was grateful the Asgardians never paid any attention to such silly and exhausting traditions - which was surprising, considering how much Asgardians loved frivolity. 

So he really shouldn’t have been shocked when Thor discovered, and subsequently fell in love with, the concept of birthdays. His brother immediately requested his mortal companion Jane to perform the necessary calculations to determine the Midgardian equivalent of Thor’s birthdate - and Loki’s as well, which his brother gleefully announced to the entire team and embarrassed him to the deepest pits of his soul. 

A massive celebration was planned for Thor, with enough food and drink to sustain a small country, and on the special night, flashing lights and loud music bathed the massive common room of Stark Tower in merriment and laughter. Everyone was invited, and it would have been rude for Loki to not make an appearance - but it wasn’t because he wanted to admire you in your party dress, although that was a very lovely bonus. 

But as gorgeous as you looked - the longer the party went on, the sadder Loki became. Everyone was talking, smiling, and dancing, congratulating Thor on his many accomplishments and swapping happy stories of all the good times they’d had together. It was painful to witness, to know for a fact that no such party would be happening for himself when his birthday rolled around. 

Loki tried telling himself that he didn’t want it, and that he’d be miserable during it. He tried convincing himself that it would be too loud, and too bawdy, and vain, and that he didn’t need other people’s reassurances that they were happy he was there with them. He told himself he didn’t need it at all, that he was completely fine without it. But it was a lie, so of course it didn’t work. 

As the days approached to Loki’s birthday, he became even more withdrawn than usual. With the exceptions of necessary missions or training, he stopped leaving his room. He was silent during travel on the Quinjet, and refused your invitations to further movie nights, even though the disappointment on your face ripped him apart in ways he’d never experienced before. 

He felt like he deserved to suffer, to collapse in on himself like a dying star because he knew he’d never be worthy of the love and attention his older brother seemed to collect so effortlessly. It wasn’t Thor’s fault; it was just Loki’s lot in life. And the further he receded, the more likely his heartache would be justified, and he couldn’t be surprised if he was already disappointed.

The evening of his birthday was the worst night he’d experienced in a long time, not since the day he let go of the Bifrost. Loki didn’t even come out of his room for dinner that night, choosing instead to feast on pain, and anguish, and regret, and all the feelings he hadn’t ever had the time to process over his thousand years of existence. 

Thor tried several times to lure him out of his room, to no avail. Loki wouldn’t leave - no, he couldn’t leave. He couldn’t bring himself to witness the fact that they’d done nothing special for him, even though he’d be furiously uncomfortable if they did. 

As the hours passed, he tried to distract himself with sleep, and then reading, but neither did the trick. Eventually, he curled up on the window seat of his private quarters, wrapped himself in furs and pressed his forehead against the glass, watching the tiny little mortals going about their nights in blissful ignorance of the god suffering fifty floors above them. 

And Loki was so lost that he could barely respond to the cautious knock on his door, the one that threatened to pull him away from his misery. But his heart leapt in his throat when he heard your voice calling his name, and he wanted so much to let you in, to feel you next to him. 

But the urge to say something cruel, to push you away and continue on alone, was just as strong. Loki didn’t know which to concede to, even as his feet slowly carried him to the door. He didn’t know what he was going to say, even while his fingers raked through his messy curls and rubbed the pain from his eyes. 

He felt ridiculous as he hesitated to open the door; he was a God, and once the most fearsome villain this entire planet had ever seen - but here he was, nervous and split open and too raw to simply open a door and look upon a beautiful woman while he was hiding away from his birthday. 

There was a soft rustling sound on the other side of the door, and Loki’s forehead rested against the wood as he heard your footsteps quietly retreating down the hallway. He’d waited too long, paralyzed by his self-indulgent indecision, and it had pushed you away. 

He thought about yanking the door open and calling after you. He considered begging for you to come back. He desperately wanted to wrap his arms around you and to pull you closer, but all he could manage was to gently pull the door open after he was sure you were gone. 

On the floor of the hallway, waiting patiently and comfortably for him, was a beautifully-decorated cupcake and a note resting on a small paper plate. A single candle rose out of the emerald and sapphire swirls of frosting, and the pink paper was folded in half, with his name written in the loveliest cursive on the outside. 

Loki fought back tears as he retrieved the gift from the floor, and he cautiously balanced the plate in one hand while holding the note in the other. 

Hey Loki,

I know birthdays are hard; they’re hard for me too. But hopefully this treat makes you smile, even just for a second. 

I’ll be awake for a little while longer - stop by my room if you need to talk. I promise I won’t find it weird :) 

XOXO

P.S. I’m really glad you’re here, even if you’re not ready to accept that yet. 

He swallowed hard as he stared at the most generous gift he’d ever received. He didn’t know if you even fully understood what you’d just done for him. He fervently wanted to go after you, and he desperately wanted to continue hiding. 

But you’d extended an invitation, one he could feasibly take you up on. No one would argue it wasn’t in his right to do so. And Gods above, he wanted to, more than anything else he’d ever wanted. But would it be worth it, or would it just make everything worse? 

Loki tore his damp and heavy eyes away from the note and glanced up and down the hallway. He shut his door, just as quietly as he’d opened it, wondering if it would be a mistake to allow his heart guide him to where he’d rather be. 

⊱ ── ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ──  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅  ── ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ── ⊰

Click here to be added to my Loki fic tag list! 💚

[marveldiaries]

Can you do a fic were reader comforting Loki, whenever he get's nightmare..and just being a vulnerable baby🥹

Talk to Me (Part 1)

Part 2 / Part 3 / (Part 4 in progress)

Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)

Summary: The Battle of New York was a year ago but as the newest member of the team, you quickly discover Loki is still tormented by nightmares every night. You try your best to help him while still dealing with your own nightmares.

Warning: Past trauma, nightmares, minor injury, mentions of a house burning down

A/N: I love this request! I accidently made it way longer than I originally planned but I hope that's okay. Thanks so much for sending this! I hope you like it! 💚

Thanks @firedrakegirl for help with the title! 🙂

You follow Tony and Steve down the hall and into the large oval conference room. "Morning everyone," Steve says and the chattering stops as all of the Avengers turn to face the three of you. He gestures towards you, "This is Y/N, I think a few of you met her already during her interview process. She's going to be the newest addition to the team."

"Hi," you wave to everyone and it reminds you of that awkward feeling you get when you're the new kid in school.

"Don't forget, she has pyrokinesis so everyone be nice to her," Tony jokes.

A few people laugh lightly but Scott looks confused and raises his hand. You cover your mouth to hide your own laugh and Steve groans. "We've been over this, she can create and control fire," he explains.

"Oooh, right. Cool," Scott gives you a thumbs up and smiles wide.

The rest of the team seems excited for you to join except for Loki. He sits quietly at the far end of the table, lost in his own thoughts. Tony notices you looking nervously at Loki and he whispers, "Just ignore him, everyone else does." You laugh at his suggestion and take an empty seat so the meeting can begin.

You sigh and throw off your covers as you get out of bed. Two hours of staring at the ceiling is enough for tonight, you think. You put a hoodie on over your t-shirt and slip on a pair of jeans before leaving your room. You wander slowly down the dimly lit hallway until you finally reach the kitchen and turn on the incredibly bright overhead lights.

After finding the largest mug you can, you set about making yourself a cup of coffee but you are stopped in your tracks when you hear someone talking faintly. You turn but don't see anyone else in the kitchen. A part of you thinks you are finally going crazy from sleep deprivation but then you hear it again.

You follow the voice out of the kitchen and into the common area next to it. The room is dark but enough light filters in from the kitchen for you to see someone sleeping on one of the couches. The person pulls the blanket around themselves tighter and mumbles something as they roll over. You find yourself drawn closer to the sleeping figure and realize it's Loki. You notice a book on the coffee table and assume he fell asleep reading.

He tosses and turns on the couch, clearly in the grips of a nightmare. "Stop, please," he says a bit louder, still fully asleep.

Your heart breaks at his words and how scared his expression is, he seems terrified of whatever he is dreaming about. You reach your hand out and shake his shoulder lightly, "Loki, wake up. You're having a nightmare." He doesn't respond, still caught in the dream so you try again. "Loki, you're safe now. It's just a dream, wake-"

His eyes open suddenly and you barely have enough time for the fear to flood through your body as a green glow lashes out towards you.

"Y/N," you hear a far off voice call for you. "Y/N, are you alright?"

You blink your eyes open, squinting at the brightness surrounding you. You look up towards the voice and see the fuzzy faces of Steve and Tony kneeling over you. It takes a moment for you to realize you are sitting with your back against the wall, a person sized hole in the drywall next to you. You reach your hand up and touch the back of your head lightly but thankfully there is no blood when you check your fingers.

"Y/N?" Steve asks again and you look at him, he finally comes into focus.

"I think I'm okay," you guess. Your whole body is sore but it doesn't feel as if anything is broken. "What happened?"

"Loki threw you into the wall," Tony says, his voice thick with anger towards the God of Mischief.

You look over his shoulder and see Loki standing in the furthest corner, his arms crossed and his eyes fixed on the floor. Thor stands in front of him, one hand on his hip and the other gesturing as he talks. You can't hear what he is saying but you can guess by his body language that the younger prince is in serious trouble.

"He didn't do it on purpose," you tell them and Loki lifts his head to look at you. Thor turns as well and you add, "He was having a nightmare. I was just trying to wake him and I guess I scared him or something."

"That may be but he still hurt you. Now let's get you to the med bay and make sure you're okay. Can't have you out of commission before your first mission," Tony says.

You nod, too tired and sore to argue further. Steve and Tony carefully help you off the floor. You make eye contact with Loki as you leave the room but he only holds it for a second before he lowers his eyes to the ground.

Your sister texts you to sleep well and you toss your phone gently onto the nightstand after replying. You lay back for a moment but you sit up again, knowing you won't be going back to sleep even though it's almost 5am. You sit on the edge of your bed and think about the last three days. You learned one thing, Loki was a professional when it came to avoiding you. You hadn't seen him once, and you had tried your hardest to find him. You wanted to let him know you weren't upset about what happened but it seemed like you weren't going to get that chance.

You sigh and get out of bed, grabbing your phone, you leave your room in a t-shirt and lounge pants. Instead of going straight to the kitchen for coffee like to have every night so far, you decide to just walk around for a bit. You wander towards the other end of the hall, trying to see if you remember which room is who's as you pass them.

You reach the last bedroom and stop to look out the window at the end of the hall. There are a few clouds but it is still mostly dark out. You barely have time for your mind to wander before you hear someone talking. You recognize the voice and the quiet pleas immediately. Standing outside the door, you listen to Loki beg in his sleep for the pain to stop and you knock loudly on his door. He doesn't answer and you try again.

You groan in frustration but are determined not to give up, turning to look down the hall you know Thor's room is right next to his brother's. You knock on his door, after a minute, you see light spill out under the door and he opens it.

"Are you alright?" he asks, rubbing his eyes.

"I'm fine but Loki's not," you tell him. "He's having another nightmare. I tried knocking but he didn't hear me."

Thor nods but doesn't seem as concerned as you are. "My brother has nightmares every night Y/N. He has since they freed him from the mind stone," he explains.

"Shouldn't someone try to help him?" you ask. "He's obviously not okay."

He shrugs but you can see the worry in his eyes, "Believe me, I have tried but he does not want my help. He doesn't want anyone's help."

You look towards his door, you can still hear him faintly asking for whatever he is reliving to come to an end. "Can't we do something for him?" you ask.

Thor puts his hand on your shoulder gently. "Until he is willing to admit that he needs help, there is not much I, or you, can do. Go back to sleep Y/N." With that, he closes his door and leaves you standing in the hall alone. You try Loki's door one last time before slowly walking back to your room.

After making your second cup of coffee tonight, you head up to the library to find a new book. It's been four days since Thor told you there was nothing you could do to help Loki but you couldn't stop thinking about him. You didn't want to believe Thor was right but you also weren't sure you were the best person to help him anyway.

You walk slowly down one aisle then another until you pick up a book that looks like it might be interesting. While reading the back cover you hear the familiar sound of Loki having a nightmare, "Stop, please don't do this."

You nearly drop the hardcover book but grip it tightly to your chest as you look towards his voice. He continues to plead quietly and you can hear the urgency in his voice. You move carefully towards the couches at the rear of the room and see him tossing and turning. You stop, unsure how to wake him without being attacked like the first time.

"No, no," his cries become louder, he struggles with the blanket that is wrapped tightly around him. You look around and then down at the book in your hand. The book lover in you cringes but you can't think of anything else. You slam the hardcover book to the ground as hard as you can.

He sits up quickly, pulled from his nightmare by the sudden, loud thud. He breaths heavily and he untangles himself from the blanket, quickly wiping the tears from his eyes. He looks towards what caused the sound and you slowly reveal yourself from your hiding spot.

"Sorry I woke you like that," you tell him picking up the book. "I wasn't sure what else to do. It seemed like you were having a really bad dream again." He is quiet, watching you come closer and you stop when you see how uncomfortable he looks. "I should go," you decide and turn to leave.

"How come you never seem to sleep?" he asks and you stop.

"What?" you turn back to face him, acting like you don't know what he is talking about.

He gets up, the blanket vanishing with a wave of his hand. He motions towards your now cold coffee and says, "You're always awake in the middle of the night."

You grip your cup and look down at it, then back up at him. "I barely sleep lately," you admit.

"Why not?" he asks.

You bite your lip nervously and walk past him to sit on the couch. Setting your coffee aside, he sits next to you and waits for your answer. "I have really bad nightmares," you tell him. "They started again a few months ago."

He sighs in response and you both sit quietly for a moment then says, "I assume I don't need to tell you my dreams are about Thanos and what happened before my brother found me?"

You nod but are a bit surprised he admitted it so easily. When you tried talking to Thor about Loki again yesterday, he made it seem as if you were more likely to get a rock to talk then the God of Mischief.

He then asks, "What are your nightmares about?"

You pick up your coffee with one hand a create a small flame in the other, holding it just close enough to reheat the cooled liquid.

"That is a useful talent," he tries to joke and you force a laugh but neither of you have forgotten his question.

"My nightmares are of my worst fear," you tell him. "When I was seven, I lit my first fire." He watches you intently as you talk. "I had a nightmare and I don't honestly even remember it but I know it was scary enough to trigger my powers in my sleep. What was even more terrifying though was the scene I woke up to," you pause as the memory floods back. "The room my younger sister and I shared was fully engulfed in flames, my sheets, the curtains, all of our toys. The fire was everywhere and I wasn't strong enough yet to contain it."

"I remember hearing my sister scream and then our dad came into the room, our mom was right behind him. My dad picked up my sister and my mom took my hand and I stayed close to her. We all got out safely but the fire continued to spread, it destroyed the whole house, everything we owned was gone," you tell him, closing your eyes as you feel the tears gather. You wipe them away quickly then look up at him again.

"I'm sorry," he says genuinely, "I'm glad to hear your family made it out."

You nod, "Me too."

"So the nightmares, is it just the memory of what happened?" he asks, curious to see if you both relive your past horrors the same.

"Not exactly. My nightmares always start the same, my little sister screams and my parents come in to find the room full of flames," you tell him, trying to hold back the familiar feeling of panic that comes with those dreams. "But I always wake up when the house collapses with all of us still inside."

"That does sound like a terrifying dream," he agrees. You can tell there is something else he wants to ask so you sit quietly until he finally says, "I am curious though, how long do you think you can go without sleeping in order to avoid the dreams?"

"I don't do it on purpose, I would love to sleep but I guess I'm afraid to sometimes," you tell him. "Besides, it's not like you should be giving anyone advice on dealing with nightmares." The words come out much harsher than you mean for them too.

"Point well taken," he says looking down.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that," you tell him quickly and he shrugs then looks up as if he suddenly remembered something.

"I should apologize to you actually," he says. "I never meant to hurt you the other night. I don't even remember doing it honestly."

"Lucky for us both I have a hard head," you try to joke but it does nothing to help either of you feel better at the moment.

You finish your coffee and he says, "Thor told me you tried to wake me again a few nights ago. That you were outside my room and you heard me."

"Oh," you suddenly feel awkward. "I swear I didn't go to find you or anything, I was just wandering around and ended up there. I felt really bad that you were having another nightmare."

"Why would it make you feel bad?" he asks genuinely curious.

"Why wouldn't I?" you ask as if the answer is obvious but he just looks at you still confused by how much you care. "You sounded so hurt and scared. I just wanted you to know you were safe here and you aren't with him anymore."

"I appreciate your concern but you don't need to worry about me," he says.

"Unfortunately for you, it's too late, I'm already concerned," you tell him and you see him fight to hold back a smile. "I really think you should talk to someone, about your dreams I mean. Your brother or one of the shrinks that works here, or even me if you want. It could help."

"Does talking help you?" he asks.

"Yea, it's definitely getting better. The first thing I do when I wake up is call or text my little sister," you tell him. "She's a really good listener, probably better then I am but I'm all you have at the moment," you joke.

He smiles a bit, "I appreciate the offer."

"Well go ahead then, talk to me," you smile and sit back comfortably.

He laughs at your determination and asks, "Are you sure you want me to... what do you humans call it?" You shrug not knowing what word he wants and he says, "Ah, trauma dump is it?"

You laugh, "That is the last thing I thought you were going to say but yea, sure. I'm just here to listen if it'll help get some of those thoughts out of your head."

The smile fades from his face and he says, "If I agree to this I need you to promise you won't tell anyone what we talk about."

"Of course. Patient, fake shrink confidentiality," you say but it's clear the joke missed. "Loki, I promise I would never tell anyone, that would defeat the purpose of wanting you to trust me," you tell him seriously.

He nods and takes a few deep breaths, his eyes on the ground. You wait patiently for him to begin talking and once he does, his thoughts and words flow quickly.

The alarm on your phone goes off and you open your eyes, it takes a second to realize you are still in the library. Lifting your head slowly from Loki's chest you look up at him, his arm still drapped over you loosely and your arm around his waist. He yawns then looks at you with a small smile as he says, "Good morning Y/N."

"Morning, Loki," you smile back. "I don't even remember falling asleep," you tell him.

He stretches a bit as you sit up, "You drifted off just before sunrise but you seemed so comfortable, I didn't want to wake you."

He stands up then turns and looks at you with a puzzling expression. "What's wrong?" you ask him, standing up as well.

"Nothing I just... I didn't have a nightmare," he smiles slowly. "And you didn't either."

You smile, "See, I was right. You just needed someone to talk to." Without thinking you give Loki a hug and when he hugs you back you tell him, "You can always talk to me."

Vaguely Similar Read: Someone sent a request (about 2 years ago lol) for a comfort fic where you help Loki through a nightmare. Below is the summary and link to the story if anyone wants to read that as well 💚

You wake from a recurring nightmare about losing Y/N during the Battle of NY. She comforts you, telling you she doesn't blame you for her injuries during the attack and that you will never lose her.

Shh... It was Just a Bad Dream

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

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[marveldiaries]

I Don't Hate You

Pairing: Loki x female reader (y/n)

Summary: You've worked at SHIELD for years and you were severely injured by Loki when he escaped from his cell on the helicarrier. It's been a year since the attack on NY and one day you finally cross paths with Loki after a month of him actively avoiding you.

Warning: Loki being upset, Loki feeling guilty, Loki feeling like he deserves to be hated, brief mentions of Loki's torture, previous injury caused by Loki... this will have a fluffy end, promise 💚

You shift positions to get more comfortable on the couch then turn the page of your book. I might be able read this whole book tonight, you think excitedly. The Tower was quiet which was a rare occurrence, the whole team decided to go out for drinks so you have the library to yourself. After a moment, you turn the next page but suddenly you feel as if you aren't alone.

Looking up, you see Loki standing in the doorway as if he is frozen with anxiety. He briefly makes eye contact with you and turns to leave.

"Wait," you sit up, closing your book in your lap. "You can stay," you offer and he turns back to face you. "There's plenty of space," you gesture towards the other empty couch.

"I wouldn't want to disturb you," he says, shaking his head as he remains halfway between the hall and the room.

You sigh quietly, that's the first thing he's said to you in the month since you've been back from medical leave. Loki had become almost an expert in avoiding you, the closest you had come to being in the same room with him was during a briefing last week. As soon as you took your seat at the table, he excused himself and left.

He nods in response to your offer to join you but doesn't say anything. He quietly makes his way over to the large bookcases that line the wall and begins to search for a book. You try to focus on where you left off in yours but you can't seem to take your eyes off him. He seems so nervous around you and although you aren't sure what you expected from him, this wasn't it.

He selects a book and walks to the far end of the other couch, glancing towards you as he sits. You both quickly look away from each other and try to settle into your books. After a few minutes of silence he sighs and closes the book. You pretend to continue reading as you watch him return his book and begin the process of selecting one again.

"Can't decide what to read?" you ask after a moment.

He turns, his expression clearing showing that he doesn't expect you to speak to him. He shrugs, "I've read all of these..." He looks at the book he is currently holding, "Some more then a few times."

"Oh," you look at the tall, full shelves. There must be four hundred books in this room. "Wow," you react honestly.

"I read quickly," he offers a simple explanation.

"Why don't you get new ones?" you ask as if the solution is obvious.

He puts the book he is holding away and looks down at the ground, "I'm not permitted to leave the Tower unless its for a mission." He pulls a seemingly random book from the shelf and walks over to the closest seat on the other couch this time.

"Right, I forgot I guess," you suddenly feel awkward for suggesting it.

Loki was given strick orders not to leave the Tower after an incident a few months before you returned from medical leave. He had gone to a small Cafe with his brother in the morning and ended up on the news a few hours later. According to the reports you watched from rehab, he had been on line waiting for his order when a woman who lost her husband during his attack on NYC came in. She walked over to him and started screaming that he was a monster and should be rotting in a cell on whatever planet he came from. Thor tried to defuse the situation while Loki remained completely silent. Her rant finally ended when she threw some bystanders coffee at him and he left.

The two of you sit in silence for a minute then you suddenly get an idea. "Oh," you say and he looks up from the book he has no interest in.

"I think I have something that can help," you tell him. You limp slowly towards him as you unlock your phone. Sitting next to him, you feel self conscious when he shifts away from you, his eyes fixed on the metal brace supporting your leg.

His jaw tightens and his body tenses as he rubs his hands slowly together. You clear your throat, hoping to distract him from your injury and it works. He looks at you, "Here," you hand him your phone.

"What is this?" he asks.

"Its the New York Public Library," you tell him, "Well, their website at least."

He looks at you a bit confused. "What am I supposed to do with this? I'm not allowed to go to the library," he says.

"You don't need to go," you tell him with a smile. "They can bring the books here."

"I wonder why no one told you about this. They've had this for years," you say.

His eyes fill with excitement at the thought of being able to get new books. You explain the book delivery program then show him how to search for books by author, title or genre. His smile spreads as you sign him up for a library card then sit back to watch him scroll through a long list of poets.

The smile leaves his face and he admits, "I never told anyone that I had run out of books."

"Why not?" you ask.

"No one would care," he answers instantly.

When you don't say anything, he looks up from your phone and briefly makes eye contact with you. "I don't understand why you of all people would care enough to help me, to be honest. I have done nothing to deserve even the smallest kindness from you," he says as his eyes fall to your injured leg again. The joy you had seen on his face moments ago has faded completely and in a low voice he says, "I nearly killed you."

With a sigh, he nods, "I remember everyone I've hurt... or killed."

You're caught off guard by the sudden shift in topics but say, "I thought you remembered me."

"Can we just talk for a minute?" you ask, standing with him.

You gently reach out and touch his knee, causing him to jump at the sudden contact. "I'm sorry," he says as soon as you touch him. "I should go," he tells you and he gets up.

He shakes his head. "I'm not supposed to be alone with you," he admits. "Fury wants me as far from my..." he clears his throat, "victims as possible while I am here."

He looks torn about what to do but finally nods and sits down heavily. You sit next to him again but he doesn't look at you, his eyes are fixed on his hands. His knee shakes nervously and you realize he's waiting for you to lash out at him as so many people have in the wake of the attack.

"I- I didn't realize he did that," you say in shock. "I thought you were just avoiding me because of... well because of what happened."

He shrugs but doesn't respond, giving you the feeling that he might still have distanced himself from you even if he wasn't ordered to do so.

You bite your lip and say, "I'm sure Fury means well but... I just want to talk to you. If that's okay with you?"

You had imagined this moment so many times over the last year. What you would say to him and how he would react. You look at him even as he avoids looking at you and say, "I just want to to know, I don't hate you for what happened."

He shakes his head as if he doesn't believe you and says, "You should hate me, everyone does."

"I don't," you tell him simply.

He finally looks at you, a mixture of disbelief and curiosity in his eyes, "How could you not after what I did to you and so many others?"

You sigh and admit, "I used to hate you."

"But... but not anymore?" he asks.

You take a deep breath, this is the part you practiced telling him most often. "When I was in the hospital, I did hate you. I hated you more then I ever thought I could possibly hate another person. I wanted you to feel the pain and fear you inflicted on me when you were escaping. I wanted you to suffer after every surgery, after every fall I had in rehab, after every doctor told me I would never walk without some sort of brace," you tell him honestly and he nods as if he agrees with you.

You pause for a moment and wait for him to look at you again, "It was truly exhausting."

He doesn't say anything but he keeps eye contact with you. "It took so much energy to hate to," you tell him. "It was draining me."

"A few months after my first surgery, I had some of the agents I'm friends with being over your case files and I watched all your news interviews," you continue to explain.

"Why?" he asks, his voice filled with concern.

"I wanted to know if you were as evil as everyone said, if you were really a monster from another world who deserved to be hated," you tell him.

"I am a monster," he says, his eyes lowering to the ground in front of him.

His body tenses as soon as you mention Thanos's name. His eyes widen in fear and he says, "What do you know about- how could you know that? My SHIELD files doesn't contain any information about him."

"No," you tell him, touching his arm lightly and he looks up at you slowly. "You're not a monster, you're a victim of Thanos."

You fidget nervously at his reaction and say, "I... I found the restricted files SHIELD has about you, the ones with your interview-"

He gets up suddenly, his voice laced emotion but you are unsure if he is angry, hurt or embarrassed, "You read that?"

You nod, "I'm sorry-"

"No one was supposed to be able to access that. Fury said it would be sealed, that was why I agreed to tell my brother what happened," he says as he paces. He turns to face you and you can see he is holding back tears, "You shouldn't have read that. I don't want anyone to know what he did to me."

You had read all twenty six pages of the typed transcripts and listened to hours of Loki detailing his torture to Thor. He spoke about being physically hurt but also about being mentally broken by the mad titan. He lost track of time, unsure if weeks, months or years had passed while he was under Thanos's control. By the time you finished listening to his account of what happened, you had lost every ounce of hate you once harbored for him. He was more a victim than anyone.

You take a step towards him and he takes a step back, shaking his head. You reach for his hand and he lets you hold it without pulling away. "Loki," he looks at you, the first tear running down his cheek. "I'm sorry Thanos tortured you," you tell him honestly.

He shakes his head as if he can't accept your words.

You take another step towards him, still holding his hand in yours. "I'm sorry he hurt you," you say again and this time he doesn't move away from you.

"No one..." he tries to take a deep breath, "No one has ever said that to me before."

Now it's your turn to be shocked, "Not even your brother?"

He shakes his head and without thinking, you wrap your arms around him tightly. His whole body stiffens in response at first but slowly, he lifts his arms to hug you back and his body relaxes against yours. He rests his head on your shoulder and you rub his back gently.

You hold him until he slowly pulls away. Taking his hand again, you lead him back to the couch.

"You didn't deserve anything that he did to you," you tell him. When he looks at you, you can't help but raise your hand, wiping a tear from his cheek. He closes his eyes and leans into your soft touch.

He opens his eyes after a moment and quietly says, "Thank you Y/N. I'm so tired of everyone hating me. I never thought anyone would ever try to understand what happened to me."

You smile at him and quickly kiss his cheek, which is a surprise to both of you. "What was that for?" he asks, a small laugh escapes him.

He smiles and nods, "Can you do it again?"

"I don't know," you admit with a nervous giggle, "I just... It felt like something I should do. I'm sorry, was that okay?"

You smile and kiss his cheek again, "Is that making you feeling better?"

"For the first time in a very long time, yes," he says.

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚

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[marveldiaries]

//FRIENDS OR LOVERS?

kate bishop x fem reader

Kate Bishop is the most beautiful girl you know. She’s also the only one you won’t let yourself have.

friends to lovers, mentions of heavy drinking, angst and fluff, 3.4k words

read this fic on ao3!

Your best friend sighs as she fumbles with the door of your apartment.

“Y/N, where have you put your keys?” she asks you wearily. You don’t answer her. Your head is leant on her shoulder, with her arm loosely looped around your waist to prevent you in your intoxicated state from plummeting face first downwards.

“Y/N,” Kate tries. When you still don’t answer, she turns enough to grab your jaw in her hand, forcing you to meet her steely gaze. “Where are your keys?”

“Doormat,” you croak, your stomach churning not just from the liquor as she searches your eyes for a moment before releasing your face to fetch your door key. You shift your weight anxiously.

It’s not hard to tell that she’s mad. Even as she takes care of you, unlocking the door and guiding you gently into your apartment, sitting you down on your couch, there’s a certain tension in the air. You see it in the way her jaw clenches, her tongue runs over her teeth, in the cold fire of her blue eyes. You know Kate Bishop as well as you know breathing.

“You stay here,” she murmurs, kicking off her platforms. “I’m gonna… get you clothes. And a drink.”

She looks down at you, seeking your compliance, any acknowledgment at all. You blink back up at her hazily, in the way you’d never dare to when you’re sober. You can’t help it. Kate Bishop is the light of your life. She’s your best friend, sure, but you’re also hopelessly, irrevocably in love with her. You’ve tried so hard not to be, but it happened so gradually you hardly noticed it, until one day every little thing she said and did filled your stomach with butterflies whose wingbeats whispered you’re fucked. She’s the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen, she’s gorgeous, when she wears those suits she loves you actually can’t breathe, she makes you laugh, she’s so clumsily gentle and thoughtful, she keeps all of your favourite snacks at her apartment, so you just have to come over and eat them. She has this earnest charm to her which despite her socialite status she doesn’t even seem to realise. She’s just… god, you love her so much.

This is, naturally, something you’ve been quite torn up about over the last few months; inside of you is a perpetually bitter, stagnant battle of the head and heart, where neither are victorious. You are paralysed by fear. You can’t relax around her (which saddens you to no end, because she is your person). What if you stare for too long? What if you don’t stare for long enough? What if you say the wrong thing? You’ve never been this afraid to ruin something. Your friendship with Kate is something real, and good, your love transcends any kind of box you’ve tried to fit it into; it’s whole and it’s the best thing in your life. You will do anything in your power to keep her around, short of actually telling her how you feel. You tell yourself you’re content with just being around her instead, with being her best friend, but the ache in your chest has gotten to the point that you can’t look at her without it splitting you in two.

Apparently, though, this is something only applicable to you when you’re sober, because right now you’re gazing at her like she hung the stars in the sky. (One time she did help you hang glow in the dark stars from your ceiling. Her arms are much longer than yours.) In all honesty, you probably only drank this much tonight so that you’d be able to look at her without bursting into tears, but now you’re burdening her in a different way in that she’s stuck taking care of you. God, you’re so fucking useless. She’s so pretty. Are those your socks she’s wearing?

“Y/N,” she says impatiently, and you slowly blink yourself out of your daze. “Are you even listening?”

You stare blankly back up at her. She curses at you under her breath as she makes her way towards your bedroom, pausing near the door to turn on your fairy lights with an anger that absolutely does not match the gentle yellow-white twinkle that immediately illuminates her form. You giggle at the sight, and the thought. Kate glares back.

“You’re not moving a fucking inch. Stay put. Got it?” she demands. You nod obediently. She holds your gaze for a couple of seconds, to make sure you’ve really gotten the message, before retreating round the corner to your bedroom, presumably in search of the aforementioned change of clothes.

You honestly don’t intend to disobey her. You figure you’ve ruined her night enough already, she doesn’t need you actively making things even more difficult for her. You hate, more than anything, when Kate is upset with you. It feels like the whole world is closing in on you. You stay in position for a good few minutes, and eventually your mind starts to wander again. Naturally, every single thought you’re plagued with is one of Kate. (What is this bullshit? Don’t you drink to forget?) You think of her smile, her lips, the things she’s told only you and no one else. Are you not good enough? Will she never see you in the way you see her?

The thought makes your bottom lip wobble, and your shoulders deflate. You start to properly think, as seriously as you can in this state, about what the people she’s brought home before have had that you lack. Is it something to do with how you look? Is it your eyebrows? You recall one person Kate used to mess around with leaving early the next morning for a threading appointment.

You sit up straighter. Maybe it is your eyebrows. You prefer that idea much more to the fact that it’s something inherently wrong with you. Your eyebrows are lacking, you decide, stumbling to your feet. Once you fix those, Kate will love you back.

Tweezers will do, right? You think your tweezers are in your… bathroom? You get halfway there before realising that actually, no, they might still be in your kitchen drawer from when you had that splinter the other day. (Fucking Lucky and his sticks.) You double back on yourself, tottering back through the living room towards the kitchen. You’re not quite sure what happens next, but it’s some kind of shortcoming or misjudgement on your behalf because your foot catches on the leg of the coffee table and you find yourself sprawled chin-first on the floor.

“Y/N?” You vaguely register Kate’s calls, and then her footsteps as she patters back down the hall towards you. “What are you— oh, for fuck’s —”

“Sorry,” you murmur weakly, not even making a move to get up. “Was gonna… pluck my eyebrows.”

Kate snorts as she helps you to your feet. “What?” She’s unable to hide her bemusement.

“Pluck my eyebrows,” you say again. “To look good.”

“You do not need to do that,” she chastises, guiding you firmly back to the couch, “trust me.”

“I look good?” you ask hopefully.

“Sure.” The bite in her tone, the underlying anger makes your shoulders deflate, and she softens a little. “L— yes, you do, okay? Now c’mon, baby, open up.” She holds a glass of water up to your lips and you drink obediently. There’s silence between the two of you as she helps you with the zipper you can’t reach, and then turns around whilst you change into the nightclothes she’s picked out for you. The shirt she’s given you is hers, one of her massive band ones that she left here a while ago because you liked it so much. Your heart aches all over again.

When you’re finished, you find yourself staring off into hazy space, your brain sluggish with thoughts you don’t want to think. Kate watches you for a few moments. You can see her prior anger ebbing away into something a little softer — something more concerned. Just one look at her tells you how hard the cogs are turning in her brain. (It’s a very normal amount of cute and charming that she can’t help but wear her heart on her sleeve, and have her every thought written all over her face. You feel a very normal and calm way about it, and you do not want to kiss the forming pout from her lips.)

She sits down on the coffee table opposite you, so close your knees are touching, with a tenseness to her shoulders that means she’s building herself up to saying something.

“What’s… going on lately, with you?” she asks, a little uncertain of her own words, but fixing her eyes on you intently. “It’s been, like, three months since the breakup. And you’re just— kind of… getting worse, not better.” She winces at her own words even as she says them, but nonetheless perseveres. “You’re drinking like a lot more than usual. I don’t— I don’t know, you still haven’t told me what happened, and I just —” She cuts herself off, and tries again. “Is there something else going on?”

“I just,” you shrug, not really looking at her, “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

Her brows only furrow further, and your stomach churns. “But —”

“It— it wasn’t a big deal, okay?” you interrupt, running a hand over your face. “I’m over it, can’t we just leave it?”

“What— what does that even mean?” she retorts. “You were together for a while, that’s not —”

“Yes, I’m aware,” you huff, white-hot fear beginning to bubble in the pit of your stomach. You’re not getting out of this one easily. “I just… I wasn’t…”

Kate leans forward, her entire concerned focus on you, and it only makes your heart ache harder. You swallow, hard, looking away. “I wasn’t feeling it anymore, so I broke up with her.”

Kate sits up straighter, eyes widening. “You broke up with her?” she asks incredulously. “You told me she dumped you.”

You shrink back, fumbling, cursing your slip-up. “Um— yeah, that’s what I meant, I don’t— I —”

“You lied to me,” Kate says sadly, retreating into herself a little, playing with her fingers in her lap. Her little shaky exhale tells you she’s genuinely hurt, and you wince as this situation spirals rapidly out of your control.

“No! I— I didn’t mean to,” you say desperately, reaching for her hand, whatever part of her you can touch, needing her to feel your love for her.

“But you did,” she breathes out. Her eyes meet yours, silvery with emotion. “I’m your best friend, aren’t I? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Yes! You are, you are,” you affirm instantly. “You’re the… you’re everything.”

“Then why’d you lie?” she asks softly.

You sigh, tilting your head back, at a loss for what to say. Eventually, in a tiny voice, you confess, “…because there’s someone else.”

Her eyes flash uncertainly. “Like you’ve been seeing someone else?”

You shake your head miserably. “But I really like her,” you whisper. “I think probably love.” You blink, surprised by your own words once you’ve processed them, and Kate looks similarly startled. She hasn’t seen you this vulnerable in a good while.

“Yeah? You think so?” she asks, pulling you in closer, one of your hands between both of hers. You nod slightly, drawn in as ever by the vibrant eyes of the girl you’ve loved for so long. “Tell— uhm— tell me about her. What’s she like? D’you think I’d like her?”

Your eyes light up as you nod, and you’re suddenly a little more animated as you begin to gush about this supposedly mystery girl. “Okay, first of all, she’s like the most talented person I’ve ever met,” you start without hesitation. “She can do like anything, she plays bass, she shoots stuff, she’s so pretty, she dresses so good she’s literally so fine… she makes killer blueberry pancakes,” you grin widely, “she’s so fucking funny, she…”

Throughout your entire spiel, Kate smiles and nods kindly. The more you say, the more she softens, leaning further into you, her thumbs rubbing patterns on the back of your hand like never before.

“…the biggest heart,” you conclude, nodding wisely. “Just like, the loveliest ever soul.”

“Sounds like you like her a lot,” Kate muses, the corners of her lips tugging up ever so slightly. She hesitates, like she wants to say something else, before shaking her head ever so slightly.

“What,” you ask, sitting up straighter, eyes trained on her, “what is it?”

“Nothing.” She shakes her head a little harder this time, as if to rid herself of something. “Look, sweetheart, you should get some rest,” she tells you, bringing the glass of water up to your lips again, gently prompting you to finish it off. You nod reluctantly, curling up under the blanket she passes to you, but not tearing your gaze from her for even a moment, even as your eyelids droop.

“What?” she asks as you reach out for her.

“Just wanna… look at you,” you murmur, and her cheeks redden ever so slightly. “Pretty.” You gaze into her eyes for a long moment before screwing yours tightly shut, white-hot frustration beginning to prickle at the corners of your eyes.

“Hey, hey, what is it?” Kate asks gently, catching your wrist in her hand. “You can tell me.”

“I just…” You look so defeated, Kate’s heart aches, and she reaches out to cup your face between her hands. You blink mournfully back up at her, tears beginning to fall messily. “Can’t… I ruin everything.” You sniffle, and Kate wants to cry with you.

“No, you don’t,” she attempts to soothe you. Even as your eyelids flutter with fatigue you continue to cry, making those little sobs in the back of your throat that wrench Kate’s heart out of her chest. “No, look— oh, Y/N —”

She pulls you closer to her, one arm secured around your waist whilst the other soothes over your back. “You’re okay. You’re okay, I promise,” she tells you. You bury your face into the crook of her neck in response, and she holds you. Even in your current state you’re desperate to breathe in her scent, to commit every moment of her warmth to memory.

“I,” you’re eventually able to murmur sleepily into her ear, your breath warm against her neck. “Really, I…”

“You…?” Kate prompts, tracing circles on your back encouragingly.

“Katie,” you murmur, and then you’re out for the count. She sighs, and gently tucks you back in before retreating for the night.

In the morning, you feel your heart crack open.

“Morning,” you mumble as you shuffle into the kitchen, still bleary-eyed.

“Morning, baby,” Kate laughs from her spot by your stove, and your stomach flips at the pet name, as usual. “How’d you feel?”

“Like shit.” You sit down at the kitchen island, and slam your forehead into the tabletop with a ferocity that makes Kate’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Well, I’m making pancakes,” she offers. “You know, the blueberry ones? Apparently they’re your favourite.”

You just kind of nod, only half processing her words. She places painkillers and caffeine down in front of you, and you smile up at her gratefully.

“Thank you for always taking care of me,” you say quietly, after a moment. “It’s not— um, I know I’m a handful sometimes.”

“Yes, you are,” she snorts, but it’s in good spirit. After a moment, she adds, “do you wanna talk about last night, though?”

You freeze, your blood running cold. “What?”

“Last night,” Kate repeats, mildly amused. “You know, you were telling me about this girl you like.”

You swallow. “I— I was?”

“How much do you remember?” she asks, leaning over you as she spoons a couple of pancakes onto your plate. You blink up at her nervously.

“Uhm, the details are a little hazy,” you confess, pushing your food around your plate instead of meeting her eyes. “…why?”

“Well, you seemed pretty serious,” Kate muses, sliding into the seat next to you with her own plate of pancakes. “Think you used the word love, actually, so.”

You grit your teeth, forcing yourself to stay calm, to not show her anything’s wrong. “I… I did?”

“Mhm,” she hums affirmatively around a mouthful of food, and swallows before continuing, “you were full of praise for her. She sounds great.”

Her tone is agonisingly normal, just Kate, with that slight lilt that never lets on whether she’s messing around or if there’s a deeper meaning to her words.

“Okay,” is all you’re able to say quietly muster, your hands shaking ever so slightly as you reach for the syrup.

Kate studies you for a moment before carefully, more gently, speaking again. “…Baby, do I know this girl? Cause if it’s who I’m thinking it is, maybe we should talk about it.”

Your shoulders slump, and you finally dare to look over at her, eyes filling with tears. “I— I’m sorry,” you whisper, “I really tried not to, I didn’t— I ruined —”

“No, no no no,” she interrupts, reaching out for your hand, clasping it between hers. “No, oh my god, you didn’t. I did— I mean, I didn’t —” She fumbles with her words for a moment, and closes her eyes before trying again. “I, uhm, I’m the same. I mean, I feel the same way. About you. I have also— I’ve just been trying to pretend it isn’t… yeah.”

You gaze into her stormy eyes, searching for any trace of a lie, but she looks back at you intently and all you see is her. Finally, you break, leaning your head on her shoulder and crying quietly into her chest. She whispers gentle reassurances, dropping kisses on your head and soothing her hands along your back as you process what she’s telling you. After a moment you look back up at her, and you don’t know who moves first but your lips meet and you’re utterly lost in her. She kisses you with a fervour, with need, desperate to show you how badly she wants you. She kisses you until you lose your breath, until she’s all that fills your lungs and even then she doesn’t stop. When your hand tangles in her hair she groans into your mouth, nipping your bottom lip, before eventually coming back up for air.

“Oh, god,” she whines, her breath coming in pants, and you’re impossibly obsessed with the sound.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long,” you confess lowly. The way Kate looks down at you, lips ever so slightly parted, sends a thrill through your whole body.

“Me too,” she tells you, voice a few octaves lower than usual, and it makes you feel so many things that you have to lean up to peck her lips again. She smiles gently against you.

“Do you want to… come back to bed with me?” you request shyly, wringing your hands. Her smile only widens.

“On one condition.”

“Hmm?”

“It’s a permanent invitation.” You sense the hope, the meaning to her words and can only nod, grinning stupidly back at her. She lets out a little squeak of happiness and scoops you up into her arms, carrying you bridal style through your apartment. You squirm happily in her arms, littering kisses across her jaw that have her humming quietly into you, and the noise sets you alight. It’s so difficult to fathom that this girl, the girl you have loved for so long, feels the same way about you. You’re in her arms, she’s telling you she loves you. This is what you’ve imagined every night to fall asleep for months.

Later, much later, when it’s dark inside and you’re curled up in her arms, you whisper into the empty air.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” she asks quietly, and you feel every single word she says against your skin.

“For loving me.”

Kate laughs softly, shifting to be able to look at you a little better. “You don’t need to thank me for that, Y/N/N. It’s the easiest thing in the world.”

“Mmm,” is all you say, lost in the depths of her eyes. She butts her forehead against yours softly, reaching out for your hand.

“Thank you,” she says sincerely, “for letting me love you.”

You smile at her, and settle back on her chest, utterly content.

[marveldiaries]

Kinktober (17)- Lingerie

Natasha X G!p Reader 18+

Summary: After a bad day at work, your wife finds the best way to satisfy you.

Warnings/Tags: Reader has a Penis, Blowjobs, Handjobs, Multiple Orgasms, Dirty Talk, Multiple Creampies, Oral Sex, Fingering, Rough Sex, Breeding Kink, Switch Reader/Switch Natasha.

Kinktober Masterlist

Closing the door harder than you intended, you sighed to yourself in annoyance, shrugging your suit jacket off and carelessly flinging it on the table as you dragged yourself into your living room, flopping on the couch. Memories of today’s diabolical meeting flooded through your mind as you unbuttoned the top button of your shirt, the fabric tight and uncomfortable on your neck, adding to your displeased mood as you became aware of the lack of noise in your apartment, listening out intently for your wife.

“Nat?” You called out, voice calmer and gentler than the one you used earlier in the meeting, the mere reminder of it making your brows furrow at how stupid your workers could possibly be, hands busy untying your laces as she appears from behind the bedroom door, eyes solely focussed on you.

“Hey Detka,” she purrs out sultrily, your head snapping up at the sound of her voice, eyes widening and jaw slacking at the goddess that stood before you that you somehow managed to call your wife.

Black lace adorned her body in the most alluring and enticing manner, the fabric teasingly covering her breasts as the soft flesh peeked over the top, your rapidly darkening eyes travelling further down her body, across her beautiful curves, her toned stomach, her core that was scandalously covered up by the smallest piece of lace possible, a small groan leaving you at the barely visible wet spot already there. Thigh high stockings complimented the lingerie she was wearing, the image of her swaying her hips as she casually sauntered closer to you causing your pants to feel a lot tighter, eyes unable to choose where to admire as she stood right before you.

“Fuck, Nat,” you managed to groan in appreciation, hands reaching out for her soft curves only to be stopped, her hands wrapping around your wrists and pinning them to the back of the sofa, her body towering over yours as she smirked down at you, your mind clouded with arousal at the sight of her.

“Keep them there for me Detka,” she whispers out, her mouth lowering in a teasing manner, lips ghosting yours as your eyes drift to her plump lips, enchanted by the way her tongue swipes across her bottom one to wet it. Your head tilts to try and chase her lips but she cruelly pulls back, her eyes matching your lust-filled ones as she takes in your outfit, her eyes landing on the large bulge in your pants. “All this for me?” she whispers teasingly, her hands palming your cock through your pants, able to feel how hard and desperate you already were for her.

“Always for you,” you sigh out in a pleased tone, her hand briefly wrapping around you and jerking softly. “Please,” you practically whimper when she teases your mouth again with her addictive lips, your mind begging for her to press them against you, not bothered where. You just needed to feel her.

“Already begging,” she teases in an affected whisper, tauntingly placing a kiss to the underside of your jaw, lipstick marking the skin before slowly unbuttoning your shirt, leaving a trail of lipstick smudges as she kisses her way down your toned body. “Don’t worry Detka, I’ll take care of you,” she murmurs, finally dropping her knees between your legs, admiring her work as your chest rises and falls with laboured breaths, mind completely fogged with arousal as she stares up at you with that sultry smirk that drives you insane. “And your needs,” her voice a mere whisper as she presses a kiss to the band of your underwear, a sharp intake of breath leaving you at the feeling of her hands unzipping your pants and her hungry gaze.

“Love,” you sigh out the endearment as she successfully gets you out of your pants and underwear, her hands wrapping around you, able to feel how you were throbbing for her. She watches hungrily as your head lolls back at the feeling of her hand gliding up and down you, your hips bucking slightly when she runs her finger from the base to the tip, lips ghosting your head. “I need you, please,” your tone a desperate plea, head tilting to look down at her with a submissive look as you let her control you for now, needing to feel some sort of release and satisfaction after today. You could take your frustrations out later.

Giving you what you want, her lips wrap around your cock, the warmth and wetness of her mouth having you groan sensually at the pleasure that coursed through your veins, hands itching to thread through her silky, red locks, desperate to guide her head up and down your length. Her emerald eyes peer up at you sinfully, hips bucking as she takes you all the way down her throat, her hand going to your balls and massaging them expertly, knowing exactly how to please you. Your moans grow slightly louder when she bobs her head faster up and down you, the feeling of her tongue swirling around your tip and her moaning around you causing you to jerk your hips up harder, making her gag slightly, not that she minded.

At the sound of your low groan, she pulls her mouth off you for the moment, moving her hands to slide up and down your cock, lips pressing a lewd kiss to your tip. You can’t help but stare down in pure desire as she licks from the base to the tip of you, eyes trained on you as she effortlessly takes all of you down her throat again, gagging once again at the size of you.

“Nat,” you plead, fingers moving to grip the edge of the sofa, knuckles bleeding white with how amazing the feeling of her mouth felt on you, thoughts filled with only her.

“What’s wrong Detka?” she innocently murmurs, slightly panting for breath, her tone a clear contrast between her actions as she looks up at you, tongue licking a stripe up your cock. At the action, precum spills out of your tip, her finger deftly gathering it and sliding into her mouth, a small, sinful moan escaping her at the taste of you.

“Love-fuck,” your words are cut off with a sudden moan, her lips wrapping around your head, cheeks hollowing while her hand expertly slides up and down you mercilessly, wanting to have you teetering on edge. “Nat- God, I’m going to come if you keep doing that,” your voice laced with desperation as you stare down at her, begging her with your eyes.

“You wanna come in my mouth Detka?” she asks lewdly, licking the small bits of precum that continues to leak out of your tip, observing how you nod frantically, hips bucking into her hand and mouth to chase your release. You groan at her dirty words, her body suddenly standing, her mouth at the shell of your ear to add to her words, “What if I want you to fill me up? I need to feel your cum inside me Detka.” You groan once again, hips bucking up harder, your orgasm about to crash over you as you peer up into her darkened eyes, head tilting to ghost her lips.

“I’ll do both,” your tone cocky and matching of your more dominant side, the redhead smirking at your words as she places another kiss to your jaw, teeth nibbling gently as she feels your hips stuttering into her hand.

“That better be a promise,” she warns, desperately needing to feel you come inside her, to fill her up and watch as it drips out of her slowly. Her body swiftly and seductively drops back to the floor, her lips kissing your tip once more, eyes watching yours roll back. “Come on Detka, come for me,” she husks out, taking you down her throat once more and bobbing her head, tongue swirling over your sensitive head and hand squeezing your balls gently, pleasure crashing through you.

Your hands reach out to her hair, holding her close as spurts of the warm, white liquid fill her mouth, a string of moans leaving you as you come down her throat, emptying into her while your hips jerk up as you ride out your aftershocks. You pant as you try to recover from your mind-blowing orgasm, chest heaving as she releases you from her mouth, swallowing your load and moaning lowly at the taste, eyes on your blissed out state. Her finger moves to swipe the little that escaped her mouth, sliding it back in and making a show of the action to make your hands thread through her hair and guide her up off the floor to straddle your lap, mouth crashing to hers.

It was messy, desperate and passionate as you poured all your love for her into the kiss, showing your wife the appreciation she deserves, hands roaming the body you're addicted to. You groan into the kiss when her teeth bite down on your lower lip, her smiling into the next kiss as you flip the two of you over on the sofa, pressing her into the soft cushions.

“Shit Detka, you feel so good,” she moans when you grind your hips into her, her hands shrugging your shirt off your shoulders, carelessly throwing it somewhere in the room, legs wrapping around your waist to pull you closer. You grind your hips into her harder, knowing just how she likes it while your lips press teasingly along her jaw and the underside of her jaw, soft sighs leaving her. Fuck, she loved how you could so easily switch between being submissive and dominant.

“I’m going to make you scream for me, Nat,” you groan against her warm skin, eyes peering up at her as you thrust your hips against her, cock rubbing against her soaked panties perfectly, her head lolling back at the pleasure. She smirks at your cocky words, knowing full well that you can fulfil them, your lips marking her neck as your hands trails down her body, fingers reaching her lace panties.

“Detka,” she groans at the sound of fabric tearing, your eyes trained on her face as your mouth moves to kiss the top of her breasts, fingers sliding through her dripping folds.

“All this for me?” you mock her earlier words, moving your thumb to circle her clit while you effortlessly slide a finger into her, needing to stretch her out. She lets out a breathless laugh at your words, moaning quietly after it as you curl your fingers at just the right spot, her back arching off the sofa and into your body. “So wet, so desperate. Fuck, love, you’re ruining me,” you groan against her, moving back up her body to claim her lips hungrily, swallowing her moans as you thrust another finger into her, curling them both at her g-spot while your thumb continues to rub her clit expertly.

Her hands leave your back and thread through your hair, tongue sliding into your mouth to regain some sort of control as you drive her closer to her orgasm, not wanting to come so soon and seem that desperate for you.

Knowing how close she is by the way she clenches around you, your grin into the kiss, knowing how she loves and hates the fact that you can make her come so quick,

“Just lose control, love, I know you want to come all over my fingers,” you rasp out against her lips before crashing them back together messily, groaning at the feeling of her hips grinding against your hand, chasing her high.

“Detka, Fuck,” she moans out before throwing her head back, her orgasm powerfully crashing over her as her hips ride your fingers desperately, come coating your fingers as she rides out of her high, your lips attached to her neck as she couldn’t kiss you back.

You softly coax her back to reality with softer kisses, your eyes raking over her euphoric state as you admire her. Such a pretty mess you think as her eyes flutter open, that signature smirk returning as she reaches her hand down, jerking you off once more and signalling for you to fuck her.

“I need you Detka,” she purrs at the shell of your ear, teeth nibbling on your earlobe before laying back down, your lips chasing hers as you take a hold of your cock and position it at her entrance. Teasingly, you rub your tip against her clit, then down to her entrance to coat it in the abundance of arousal pooled between her legs, her legs wrapped around your waist again and pulling you closer making you slide it into her.

Both of you groan into the other's mouth at the feeling, her heavenly cunt making you delirious with pleasure, her warm and wet walls clenching around you perfectly as she moans at the feeling of being filled up and stretched out, her nails digging into your back.

“Don’t be gentle with me Detka. Fuck me. Hard,” you can’t help but groan into her mouth at the filth that came out of her mouth, sliding out of her until only the tip remained in before thrusting your hips into her, giving her exactly what she wanted. You snap your hips into her, feeling her walls clench around your cock to make you pant against her mouth, eyes looking down to watch as her cunt swallows your length up greedily.

“Love, you feel so good, so good,” you murmur against her, hips merciless as you pound her into the sofa, the lewd sounds of moans and skin slapping sounding around the room. To reach even deeper inside her, you lift one of her legs slightly, allowing you to thrust into her so you were hitting her sweet spot with every thrust, a sinful moan leaving her.

“Shit, Faster Detka, Harder,” she moans out, a hint of desperation in her voice as she nears her second orgasm, your hips driving into her. Your pace increases as she commands, relentless as her moans grow louder and louder, her hips moving in time with yours as both of you start to teeter on edge.

Your fingers dig in slightly at her thigh, Natasha knowing there were going to be marks there making her even wetter, clenching around you at the moans that escape you, mouths still hungrily meeting in a passionate kiss.

When she clenches around you again, you can’t stop the desperate noise that escapes you, Natasha knowing how close you were at the way your hips started to thrust even faster, her mind clouded with pleasure at the feeling of you inside her.

“Come in me Detka, Please come in me,” she moans against your lips as she tries to hold off her orgasm until you come, wanting to feel that added pleasure of coming at the same time as you.

“Nat,” you groan at her words, lips meeting hers as your orgasm inevitably crashes through you, thick spurts of cum filling her up as your hips stutter into her, pressing her even further into the sofa as her own orgasm courses through her. A scream leaves her as the pure euphoria that floods through her body, taking over all her senses as all she can feel is pleasure, your name falling off her lips in a sigh as you slow down your thrusts, still emptying into her.

Once you’re finished coming, Natasha expects you to pull out but moans in surprise when you thrust your hips back into her slowly, panting heavily as you still remain hard inside her.

“One more, Please,” you groan against her, eyes peering into hers with a pure lust as you grind your hips against her, still deep inside her, your cock covered in your cum and hers.

“Give me one more,” she whispers in an equally affected tone, her hips grinding in time with yours, this time slower as you both chase another high. Your lips meet hers slower, your hips thrusting slow and deep inside her as her nails scratch down your back, pleasure building in both of your cores as your hand reaches for hers, interlocking your fingers. “Detka,” Natasha moans out sensually as you both fall over the edge again, more come filling her up as you empty into her again, her orgasm taking over her once again as you both collapse into each other, your head resting against her shoulder as her fingers return to your hair, fingers scratching your scalp.

It takes you a moment for both of you to recover, your lips meeting hers softly, intimately as you convey your love silently, her smiling into the kiss as you eventually pull out of her, watching as cum slowly seeps out of her. You watch mesmerised when her finger slides it back into her as she chuckles at your small groan and the way your cock twitches, eyes flickering back up to her.

“Bedroom?” you ask, her shaking her head playfully at your antics, your arms wrapping around her body and lifting her off the sofa when she nods, knowing that the two of you were in for a long night. 

[marveldiaries]

Awful things

Summary: A short alternate read on the "Terrible, awful things" moment in S2. GN reader.

Word count: 940

Warnings? Lots of Loki angst, implications of past trauma/pain. Spoilers for S2 I guess? No smut in this one (explicit or implied).

Note: I know this won't be for everyone, but I just wanted to give him this.

Lean hands gripped the controller, knuckles white.

Loki’s voice was even, despite the rising breathlessness. “I’ve done some terrible, awful things.”

X-5 gasped as the cube compressed, but Loki barely registered him over the ringing in his ears. The prisoner spoke again; Loki couldn’t make out the words, but he didn’t need to.

“Please tell me the truth.” There was a pain in Loki’s chest, a tightness constricting in parallel with the light cage in front of him. Hide it, his inner voice whispered. Be what they expect you to be. He pasted a carefully crafted sneer over his face.

“Well, if none of this is real, I guess you aren’t either.” The light behind his eyes was blinding, but it was almost over…

And then it was. Mobius was striding into the room; they had their answer. “Let’s go, Zaniac.” As Mobius and B-15 led X-5 from the room, Loki felt the familiar rush of blood thundering through his head. Sucking in breath, he sank to the floor.

***

Booted footsteps echoed as you negotiated the TVA corridors, dim lights bringing a familiar ache to your searching eyes. He must be here. Somewhere.

Another corner, another empty interrogation room – no, not empty. There, slumped against the wall. A pile of a man in a crumpled jacket.

Not a man, you heard his voice in your mind.

You dropped to one knee, facing him.

“Loki, it’s me,” you murmured, “It’s OK. I’ve got you.” You reach out and take his hands, which were surprisingly cold. He raised his eyes, and you gave a sharp inhale; they were red with grief. 

His hands shook as your fingers traced their thick veins, gripped his palms, helped him to stand. It was alarming, seeing him like this - his strength, his swagger, vanished. “I’ve got you,” you murmured again, and he took you at your word, letting his not insignificant weight fall against you as you half-led, half-carried him back through the maze of hallways.

At last, the door to your simple TVA living quarters closed behind you. Together you sank to the floor, his back to your chest, you supported by the bare, beige wall. You circled your arms around him, pulling him flush against you. And you waited.

Slowly, his breathing steadied; his trembling abated.

“What happened, Loki?” you whispered gently. “Tell me what happened in there?”

Loki slowly turned his head, resting his cheek against you. His eyes were closed as you soothingly carded your fingers through his inky hair. “X-5,” he muttered. “We – I – tortured…” Pain briefly twisted his beautiful features. “We interrogated him. It was… cruel.” He shuddered again.

You pressed the flat of your palms into his broad, solid chest. If I want it enough, can I be his armour? “You hurt him?” you ask quietly.

Disgust crossed his face again. “No,” he spat. “Not pain. Not really. But he… He was afraid. Terrified.”

You bit your lip in confusion. “Loki, I… I don’t understand. You didn’t hurt him? But that’s… That’s good, isn’t it?”

Loki opened his eyes, but he was staring at nothing. “He… believed… No, he knew I would hurt him.” He swallowed. “I watched a seal, once, being hunted by a pod of orcas. It was trapped on a shelf of ice, surrounded by predators. Nowhere to run. Nothing to think or feel but absolute, abject, terror. I saw that terror in X-5’s face. I smelled it. The fear of someone who knew he was going to die.”

It was your turn to shudder.

“Your reputation precedes you,” you said gently, understanding. You’d seen the footage. I don’t enjoy hurting people. It was necessary… for the illusion…

“Indeed,” he replied bitterly. “What’s that expression you’re so fond of? ‘Living down to their expectations’?”

“Loki, you didn’t hurt him.” You lifted his chin so that he met your eyes. “You could have. You didn’t.”

“I have done,” he began, “terrible, awful things -”

“Loki, stop.” You let a hint of steel through, a desperate attempt to reach him. “You’re spiralling.”

There was a pause as several breaths trembled through him. Considering at length all that he had done, all he had lost. What it had cost. When he did speak again, it was gut-wrenchingly quiet.

“I’m not – I don’t want to be – that man. Anymore.”

Nodding, you closed your eyes. “You choose your path, Loki, and I will walk it with you as long as I can.”

You’re not sure how long you sat like that; the two of you, pressed together, as if you could hold him long enough that all the pain of his eons-long life would bleed away. As if you could be the chrysalis he needed. You knew it would pass; Loki felt things fiercely, but eventually this, too, would be packaged up and added to the growing shadow he carried. As you sat, quietly listening to Loki’s breath become even, you thought about the other times he had come to you like this, twisted in self-curated torture at an act, a memory. It hurt, to watch him hurting. But you also realized what a deep privilege it was. What an honour, that he let you see him like this; bared, broken, exposed.  

Eventually, Loki pushed himself to seated, and turned to face you.

“Thank you,” he murmured, pressing his forehead to yours, his nose grazing your cheek.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes… I will be.” He stood, straightened, sweeping errant locks from his flushed face, shaking himself free of the residual cortisol like a cat after a fright. He offered his hand, and pulled you to standing.

“Dinner?”

“Italian?”

“Divine, my love.”

This is outside my usual content so I'm not even sure if I should tag you guys, but here we go: @lokisgoodgirl @infinitystoner @muddyorbsblr @divine-knight-hand @acidcasualties @lokischambermaid @so-easy-to-love-me @sarahscribbles

[marveldiaries]

a healing touch.

pair: loki x fem!healer!reader

word count: ~1.8k

summary: your magic is requested to help a certain prince.

warnings: nothing graphic! but injuries (bruises) and mentions of throwing up (which never actually happens); light kissing and unrealistic escalation at the end, i acknowledge but this was a completely self-indulgent fic.

a/n: i hope you guys like it !! i am such a SUCKER^tm for hurt/comfort and healing fics, so i think that you'll discover a reoccurring trope in a lot of my work lol.

Finally settling in for the night, you slip out of your dress and into your nightgown, the cool breeze from your open window acting as a balm brushing against your aching temples. You close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. The events of the day play through your mind as you recall the various patients you helped to soothe their aches and pains.

You make your way to your bed and throw the covers back, ready for a night of pleasant dreams. While you know you should not, you indulge yourself in thoughts of the prince who keeps your secret attention. Loki hardly knows that you exist, but you are content in keeping your interest from afar. He has come to your nursing station a few times, seeking out your particular skill set as a healer, but his mother is practiced enough so he rarely calls for your help.

Laying back and resting your head on your pillows, your thoughts are interrupted by an urgent knock at the door. You shuffle out from under your sheets and pad your way to the door. Frigga Allmother stands on the other side of the wood, her eyes filled with concern.

“Your Highness,” you say as you bow slightly, surprised by the visit. You open your mouth to ask her why she has come, but you are interrupted before the words pass your lips.

“Your healing is requested,” she responds, sounding almost rushed, but she does not let on more concern than what you can see in her eyes. “Would you come with me?”

You find a pair of slippers and a robe at the end of your bed before you follow the queen through the hallways of the palace. She leads you silently to a green wooden door ornamented with a gold door knob.

She turns to you, finally explaining why you are needed. “Loki has been hurt. It is of his own making, and it is beyond my abilities to help. He is laying in his bed. Please do what you can.” And with that, she leaves you in front of the door, heart racing with nerves and confusion. You take a deep breath, then turn the knob.

Your heart leaps into your throat at the sight of the prince, curled up on his bed. His face is ghostly, his body having obviously gone into shock at the injuries he has suffered. Yet his injuries are what confuse you the most. There is no blood, no gashes, no obvious wounds except for the dark bruises that litter his pale skin. But they are everywhere. From his neck, all the way to the waistline of his pants, purple and black bruises mottle his skin.

Loki is so out of it that he does not even bother raising his head at the sound of your entrance. He simply stays curled up, the pain plain on his face. You glance around the room, then to his bathroom, looking for a bowl. You spot one made of gold and grab it before making your way to the prince in his bed. 

Crouching down beside him, you whisper, “Your Highness?”

At his title he stirs, eyes fluttering open just enough to meet yours.

 “I have been called in to help you. Is it alright that I touch you?”

He nods slightly as a shuddered breath escapes his lips. Your fingers skim over the bruises, prodding ever so slightly to see how severe they are and if there are any bones broken beneath them. You can see the swelling in some areas, and he sucks in a sharp breath when you touch a particularly swollen spot on his side. You can’t help but let out a sympathetic sigh.

“Your Highness, I will be using magic to help you. This does require me to press the injuries which can be very painful,” you pause, allowing him to process your words before continuing, “I have this bowl that I want you to hold, so if the pain is too much you can throw up in it, okay?”

He grimaces at the thought of the pain he will endure for the next hour as you use your magic, but he nods in recognition. 

“I am so sorry,” you whisper before beginning your work, the familiar tug of magic pulling at your fingers. 

You press a hand to his side to the area that is swollen the most, letting your magic seep beneath his skin. Loki lets out a groan and grips the sides of the bowl you offered him. You can see his teeth clench and grind as you continue to press, your magic mending the ribs broken beneath. 

Humming softly to yourself, you concentrate on your work, trying to not let yourself get distracted by the fact that you are touching the object of your affections as he lays shirtless in bed. But professionalism keeps your eyes in check, but it does not keep your cheeks from prickling with heat.

You continue your ministrations, taking a break after every few bruises that you quell to yellow. Loki has yet to do more than groan. He keeps his eyes screwed shut as you work which you are grateful for, as you do not think that you could bear being under the scrutinizing gaze of your patient.

You work your way over his body, walking around his bed and climbing to your knees behind him to touch his back. Strength is clear in his muscles, but he is not pure brawn as is his brother, Thor. Rather, Loki is lean and lithe yet coiled with power in more ways than one. After healing the bruises on his back, you run your fingers lightly over his spine, ghosting over his shoulder blades before you bridle your fingers and get back to your healing efforts.

The movement does not go unnoticed by Loki, and he has his wits about him enough to comment, “If only every touch of yours was as sweet as that.”

At his words, your body prickles with heat and embarrassment. “I’m sorry, Your Highness,” you breathe, grateful that he cannot see your face as you curse yourself for falling into temptation.

“It was a pleasant relief from the pain,” he sighs, turning over to lay on his back, carefully stretching and twisting. His face pulls into a grimace as he is not yet healed completely. You duck your head, avoiding his eyes and leaving the comment hanging in the air. 

Still situated on your knees beside him, you move your hands to his lower stomach, pressing and prodding. You can hear his breath hitch and become ragged, but you push your face closer to him in an effort to ignore how his body reacts to your touch. This only makes the situation worse, so you close your eyes entirely, concentrating your magic on healing the injuries that lie below his skin.

You slide your palm over his torso to his side that had been previously hidden to you when he was laying on it. The bruises there are not nearly as dark as the ones you have already treated, so they do not take long to ease into shades of green. At this point, you are leaning over him entirely, your breath hitting his exposed skin, and you can hear him throw his head back on his pillows, sighing softly.

“Your Highness, I am nearly finished,” you say, more for your own sake than his, knowing that you need to get as far away from him as possible as soon as possible. 

Your hand lifts from its place on his side, your fingertips ghosting over his chest to find the bruise on his collarbone. Before you can make it there, Loki’s hand grips your wrist, halting all movement in you. Your eyes flash to his that are stricken with pain but mixed with gratitude. 

He breathes your name as he guides your hand to his neck, fingers skimming down your arm as he watches your face. His other hand comes to guide yours to his stomach, his palm pressing yours flat against him. 

“Loki,” you whisper, sure that he is confused and letting his pain govern his emotions. “There are more.”

He shakes his head, and says, “Leave them. You have done more than enough.”

You nod and shift to slide off the bed, but his hands flash to your thighs, dragging one over his hips. You know that you should stop him, stop touching him, and leave. But you are drawn to him, craving the feeling of touching his skin to do more than heal but to please.

“Loki,” you say again, a hint of warning in your tone, but he reads through it, finding the desperation in your breath.

“Touch me again,” he says, guiding your hands again to skim over his skin, feeling over every faded scar and groove of muscle.

“I shouldn’t,” you whisper, but he just shakes his head, dismissing you, leaning into your touch.

“I’m asking you to.”

You let out a shaky breath as you curl your fingers to drag your nails over his chest. This elicits a groan from the prince beneath you, and you can’t help but feel triumphant that your touch has an effect on him. You dare to lean down and touch him with more than your hands, your lips skimming over the skin of his neck.

Loki sucks in a sharp breath at this and turns his head to give you more access, encouraging you to keep going. Your lips find purchase on his collarbones, and you feel your magic tugging at you as your lips press into his bruise. You take a breath and pull away, noticing that the bruise he didn’t let you finish with your hands begins healing itself under your lips. You chuckle, discovering that your magic works through more ways than you knew.

Watching you carefully, Loki smiles at the discovery you make, his hands coming to wrap around you to urge you closer to him. You look up at him, matching his smile before tentatively placing your lips on his jaw, then his cheek, making your way closer to where you would like to touch him the most.

With a breath, Loki meets your lips with his own, sliding his mouth over yours. His hands are all over you as you kiss deeply into his mouth. You feel everywhere that he touches you, and he burns hot beneath your touch. 

“Is there anything else I can do for you, Your Highness?” you ask between kisses. He hums into your mouth, then nods, a smirk pulling at his lips.

“I do believe there is.”

a/n: yayayay !! thanks for reading !! let me know if you want to be on my taglist :) and check out MY SLEEPOVER going on right now !!

[marveldiaries]

Hello michelle!!! For the sake of privacy you may call me Sage, but I love your work and I wanted to make a request for a fic. Completely okay if you're not up to it though. Don't stress yourself :)))

Here are a few points you can keep in mind while writing, the rest is totally up to you <3

¤ Loki and Reader have been sworn enemies ever since he came to the tower

¤ They 'hate' eachother but sometimes end up accidentally flirting

¤ Reader ignores the feels and gets with another person, much to the dislike of Loki and we get some jealousy scenes (if possible)

¤ Something happens with reader's,now ex, partner (cheating or sum) and loki unknowingly pokes fun at their relationship which causes reader to burst into tears. Loki's demeanor completely changes once he sees her current state and he becomes all soft and fluffy and calms reader down

¤ happy endings with confessions

TYYYY, ONCE AGAIN, LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORK 🥰

Hiiiii Sage!!!! Sorry this took a minute to get to!!! Thank you so much for sending this to me!! I absolutely love enemies to lovers🥰, this got a bit away from me and grew a mind of its own...I hope you don't mind!! I hope you like it!! 💚💚💚

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I Hate You

Pairing: Avenger Loki x Avenger female reader

Warnings: self esteem issues, sexual innuendo, flirting, kissing, y/n's bf being a total ass, swearing, mentions of injury (not very graphic), mean Loki, insults, mentions of cheating (not Loki), crying, throwing things, yelling, jealousy, I think that's it....let me know if I missed something......

Summary: y/n and Loki have "hated eachother almost since he arrived back on earth....but are things as they seem.....

A/n- aahhh!! Again....this totally ran away with me!!! Sorry!!! (Or am i?.....hehe) aaaand a new pic! 😁 a very very special Thank you to @mochie85 and @high-functioning-lokipath for helping me work part my writers block and brainstorming with me! Your amazing!!! 💚💚💚

You walked into the training room, setting your towel and water bottle down you made your way over to the mats, spreading your feet apart you bent over touching your toes standing back up you reached up to the ceiling before bending back over when you heard an all too familiar voice behind you "now that is a view I could get used to." He purred making you roll your eyes. You stood up turning your head to see the last person you wanted to "in your dreams Laufeyson." You sneered continuing your stretching "and who says I don't darling." He said slowly circling you "but in my experience, dreams are never as good as...reality." He said coming to stand in front of you. "Dont you have anything better to do....or anyone?" You snarked straightening out seeing a smirk spread across his face "is that an offer darling?" He asked taking a step closer "your disgusting" you said pushing past him heading towards the sparring mats.

"Come now darling, do you mean to tell me you haven't thought about it?" He asked quickly trailing behind as you stopped in the middle of the mat "I swear to God.." you sighed, freezing feeling Loki's warm breath on your neck "mmm I would allow that..." he breathed against your ear "in fact...I would expect it...demand it..." he whispered stepping close enough you could feel the heat from his chest seeping into your back "I would hear you screaming my name...and only my name...for all to hear." He continued, closing your eyes you felt him trailing his finger up your bare arm sending a shiver up your spine "but only if you were a good girl." He cooed nudging the shell of your ear with his nose "do you wish to be my good girl kitten?" He whispered, your breath hitching feeling his fingers slip under the strap of your tank top.

"can you picture it? I'm sure you have... Me taking you as you deserve to be...thoroughly..." he said shifting to your other ear "completely...your delicate walls clenching around me." He said, His words shooting straight to your core making you squeeze your thighs together. He huffed a laugh in your ear as his fingers traveled down towards the swell of your breasts "I know I can...and it is delightful." He said rubbing his nose along your ear "i...I hate you Loki." You gritted hearing him laugh again "mmm do you? Because your body tells a different story." He said tilting his head up "I can smell you kitten." He barely whispered, his lips ghosting your ear when your eyes shot open.

You quickly turned placing your hands on his chest shoving as hard as you could but barely moving him "oh dear...have I hit a nerve?" He laughed smiling at you. "I can't stand you." You growled watching him shake his head "you are incredibly pent up, I could help you release some of that...tension." He said taking a step closer "hate sex can be very...satisfying." He said, his smile spreading wider. God you wanted to punch him in his stupidly beautiful face. "Look Loki. I..." you were cut off as Steve walked in "y/n, can I have a word?" He asked making you sigh "uh oh...someones in trouble." Loki mocked laughing "you better run along kitten before you get put in time out." He snarked turning around. It took everything in you not to kick him in the back of the knee "now y/n." Steve said making you sigh. "Coming." You called out seeing Loki turn his head and wink as you walked over to Steve.

"What's up Steve?" You asked crossing your arms "walk with me." He said turning and walking out into the hallway as you followed behind him "we're getting a new member to the team, Jason." Steve said handing you a small file "I want you to be his go to on day to day things, showing him around, teaching him the ropes." He said as you nodded "he'll be reporting tomorrow so meet me at fury's office at six am sharp." He said turning continuing down the hall. You leaned against the wall flipping through the file "Jason eh?" Loki's voice sounded from behind you "can't you ever mind your own business?" You snarked quickly closing the file "now what kind of partner would I be if I didn't care hmm?" He asked crossing his arms

"do you try to be this insufferable or is it just your personality?" You asked turning to look at him "bit of both really." He snarked back "i do love to see how red your cheeks can get." He smirked down at you. "God I hate you." You sighed turning to head down the hall "oh I know." He called from behind you. Shaking your head you headed to your room, closing the door behind you you sat on the bed closing your eyes. "Dammit!" You yelled clenching your fists. You tried not to let him get to you, to goad you...but he always seemed to find a way to get a rise out of you and you hated it. You flopped back on the bed staring at the ceiling, if you were honest with yourself you didn't hate Loki...quite the opposite, but he had squashed any chance of anything ever happening between you practically as soon as he arrived. You took a deep breath, thinking back to that day.

You walked into the large ballroom, biting your lip you looked around the large crowd trying to find the one man you were here for. "Who is that gorgeous woman?" Nat asked coming up next to you "i...thanks nat." You smiled looking down "He would be an idiot to turn you down, now go get em tiger." She smiled nudging your side. You nodded as you set off on your mission, you wrung your hands together when you heard Thor's laugh booming through the room. You walked towards the blonde god when something caught your attention out of the corner of you eye. You glanced over seeing the God you were after walking out onto the balcony. "There you are." You said to yourself, smoothing your dress you followed behind him.

stepping out onto the balcony you saw Loki standing at the balustrade, his tall lithe frame clothed perfectly in his all black suit, hugging every curve of him to perfection as he sipped from his champagne glass. You opened your mouth to say something when another voice sounded from the shadows "I think she's going to ask you out." You heard, seeing Bucky step up next to him when you heard Loki laugh "please, me...go out with her?" Loki asked shaking his head "come on, y/n's a nice girl." Bucky said looking to Loki "she is insignificant...a weak pathetic little thing." He sneered looking out into the city "the day I do anything with her is the day I've lost my mind." He said sipping from his glass again.

You felt the tears prickling your eyes, closing them you shook your head when you heard your name "y/n? Are you ok?" Bucky asked as you looked up, your eyes meeting Loki's when you felt a tear stream down your cheek. "I...yes I'm fine...never better." You said quickly wiping your cheek you raised your chin "I think I need a drink." You said quickly turning back towards the doors "y/n...may I have a word?" You heard Loki's voice making you freeze. Everything he just said running through your mind "no Loki, you can't." You said turning your head to look at him "in fact, never speak to me again...Laufeyson." you sneered gritting your teeth when you saw something you couldn't describe flash in his eyes "very well." He said looking down to his feet as you turned and went back to the party.

You sighed at the memory, it had been two years since you had your dreams crushed, two years since you cursed Tony's existence when he decided to make you Loki's permanent partner on missions "but you guys work so well together." He had said making you want to punch him, two years you watched the man you had fallen for flirt with everyone but you. You rolled over looking at the clock you saw it was getting late so you decided to try to get some sleep before your new babysitting job started tomorrow.

You walked into the kitchen, setting your purse down you opened the fridge grabbing a bottle of water when the bane of your existence strolled in "well well, where are we off to?" Loki asked leaning on the counter "none of your damn business Laufeyson." You said turning to see your tormentor smiling at you "let me guess...date with the little boy?" He snarked walking around the counter "his name Is Jason, and your one to talk." You snarked back adjusting your low cut black maxi dress. "You know what y/n, you couldn't handle a real man." He said stalking closer to you making your eyes shoot up "and you have the emotional intelligence of a cucumber." You said matching his step "so why don't you run along to the bar and pick up one of your bleach blonde bimbos because that's the only woman who could tolerate you." You snarled as you came toe to toe with eachother

"atleast they would be able to satisfy me." He snarled towering over you "you wouldn't know how to properly service a man if you had a manual." He said smirking. Feeling your face heat up you raised up on your toes, even in your heels he loomed over you "you have no idea what I'm capable of...laufeyson." you said smirking back at him "you wouldn't even remember your own name when I was through with you." You said leaning closer, your chest brushing his, the cut of your dress pushing your cleavage up you saw his eyes quickly glance down before shooting back up "I would make you come so hard the only thing you would remember Is me." You whispered, smiling seeing his cheeks flush and his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard. "Hey babe, you ready?" You heard behind you, turning your head seeing Jason adjusting his tie "coming love." You said taking a step back from Loki you grabbed your purse turning to Jason "happy six months love." You said wrapping your arms around his neck smiling up at him, he was taller then you but considerably shorter then Loki "happy six months babe." He smiled back leaning down he gently pressed his lips to yours, feeling Loki's gaze on your back you tilted your head deepening the kiss hearing a low groan from behind you.

"Must you make such a display in a public area, I may lose my dinner." Loki snarked. You pulled back looking over seeing his eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed "have fun with your hand tonight laufeyson." You said grabbing Jason's hand you pulled him behind you "night Loki." You heard Jason say but got no response "ignore him, He's just mad someone dropped a house on his sister." You said hearing Jason laugh you stopped and turned seeing Loki place his hands on the counter leaning forward shaking his head, his eyes screwed shut as he sighed. Maybe I went too far you thought when Jason tugged your hand "come on babe, we have reservations." He said as you nodded and followed behind him.

You couldn't get loki out of your head the rest of the night. Yes you bickered back and forth, but you don't remember seeing him look so defeated before. "Babe..." Jason said pulling you from your thoughts "yes...sorry I was lost in thought." You said looking over to him "its ok, I was gonna ask..." he started when you made it to your door "I heard what you said...to Loki." He said wiggling his eyebrows "oh! That...I was just trying to get back at him." You laughed looking down to your feet "well, I was thinking...we've been dating six months." He said as you nodded "and I was wondering if maybe....tonight we could...." he trailed off waving his hand in the air.

"Oh...umm..." you started, biting your lip when he stepped closer sliding a hand around your side "I wouldn't mind forgetting my name." He smiled when you placed a hand on his chest "I'm just...I don't think im ready yet." You smiled up at him seeing his face drop "well when do you think you will be?" He asked taking a step back as his hand dropped "I don't know. I just..." you shrugged looking down "I'll tell you as soon as I am." You said watching him nod "ok, goodnight y/n" He said leaning down kissing your forehead "Goodnight jason." You said opening your door slipping inside you quietly closed it behind you, pressing your back to the door closing your eyes, Jason's disappointed expression running through your mind.

You walked towards the bedroom slipping your heels off you flopped on the bed. It wasn't that Jason wasn't attractive, quite the opposite with his dark hair and blue eyes, but you had never been the type to fool around, wanting to find a deeper connection then just the physical. It's what caused your last boyfriend to "look elsewhere." You sighed laying back looking up at the ceiling "just do it y/n, your not a virgin." You told yourself rolling over you closed your eyes remembering all the times Jason had asked for more, waiting for you but you knew he was getting impatient. Smiling deciding you would invite Jason over for dinner and a little "dessert". You crawled up the bed climbing under the covers you snuggled down into your pillow trying to find sleep before your mission with his highness in the morning.

It had been a week since your date with Jason and things were beginning to feel off. You had tried to text him a few times but all be gave you was short one word answers, causing your anxiety to rise remembering your ex "no, he wouldn't do that, he cares about me." You said to yourself as you walked into the training room "your late!" Loki yelled sternly making you roll your eyes "I'm here aren't i?" You called back tossing your things down "I have better things to do then to wait for you to detach yourself from that man child of yours." Loki growled as you walked over to the mat he was on pulling your hair up "mmm miss the company of your hand already?" You snarked as he stared you down "what I do in my chambers is not your concern." He snarled gripping his daggers tightly "are we going to train or not?" You snapped closing your eyes. "Oh, is someone feeling a little...frustrated?" He asked laughing "Shut up Laufeyson." You said gritting your teeth.

"Ooo someone's not getting serviced properly." He laughed again making you sigh. "And i see it isn't Jason." He continued making your eyes shoot open seeing Loki point to the door. You looked over seeing Jason walk in with Shanice, one of Tony's lab assistants. "It seems you made him forget your name as well." You heard Loki say as you watched the two face eachother, a large smile spread across her face as she ran a finger up his bicep. "My my, maybe I should have a talk with her as well...I've heard she knows what she's doing." Loki purred coming up behind you. "Screw you Loki." You said as you walked towards Jason "anytime darling." You heard Loki call out as you got closer to the two.

"ok, I'll see you later." You heard Shanice say as she winked and turned back to the door "oh, hey y/n." Jason said turning to you with a smile "Hey love, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come to my room tonight?" You asked stepping closer to him "I was gonna make dinner, maybe some....dessert." you purred running a hand up his chest "ok, sounds good." He said stepping around you heading for the locker rooms. You looked over seeing Loki watching you intently "see you tonight love!" You called out seeing Jason wave his hand in the air not turning around. You bit your lip, your anxiety flaring again when your eyes met Loki's again, something you weren't sure of swirling in them...pity...anger... making you uneasy as you grabbed your things

"leaving so soon?" He asked walking over to you "it's none of your business Loki." You said quickly walking to the door. "I wager he'll he too occupied to show." Loki called out from behind you making you freeze. You slowly turned trying to keep the last of your composure seeing him smile "I'll gladly collect that when your proven wrong...laufeyson" you growled quickly walking out before he could open his big mouth again. You headed to your room, slamming the door behind you throwing your stuff on the couch "God I hate him!" You yelled clenching your fists. You took a few deep breaths before grabbing a clean towel and heading for the shower.

You set the table, rushing into the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the spaghetti dish you made before taking it and setting it on the table "perfect." You smiled smoothing down your deep purple dress, adjusting the lingerie underneath as you pushed your beasts up when you heard a knock at the door "one second." You called out, taking one last glance in the mirror you hurried to the door, opening it seeing Jason standing there smiling down at his phone "Hey love." You said as he looked up, his smile dropping "Hey y/n." He said as you stepped aside letting him in. "So, I made spaghetti...your favorite." You smiled walking over to the table seeing he hadn't moved from the doorway "a...and I was thinking...after dinner maybe we could." You started

"y/n, I dont want to see you anymore" Jason said crossing his arms in front of him "wha...why?" You asked taking a step towards him "because, I don't want to be with you." He said, his tone cold and emotionless "but i...we...we were fine....everything was fine." You said feeling tears well in your eyes "well maybe for you." He said taking a step towards the door "I'm a man y/n, I have needs." He said as his phone rang "speaking of." He said pulling it out answering it "yeah...just give me five minutes I'm almost done....ok love you too." He said as he hung up opening your door "jason..." you breathed taking another step towards him "get it through your head y/n, I don't want you...now if you will excuse me there is someone waiting for me." He said smiling "and she definitely knows how to make me forget my name." He winked closing the door as he left.

You stood frozen, staring at the spot Jason had just been when you heard your phone go off. You felt numb, moving on autopilot you walked over to the counter, your hands shaking as you picked it up, seeing a text from Loki you opened it "Stark just informed me we have a mission in the morning, do try to be on time." You stared at it, your mind still reeling as you attempted to process everything that just happened when another text popped up "but I am certain you will be done early." Tears pricked your eyes as you stared at the screen when everything hit you at once "Dammit!" You screamed throwing your phone across the room watching it shatter against the wall. Storming over to the table you grabbed the dish of spaghetti throwing it hard at the door, glass and noodles exploding against the wood, the screams burning your lungs as you sank to your knees on the floor. "Why am I never enough?" You whispered to yourself as you laid down, curling into a ball on the floor you clutched your knees to your chest as the sobs wracked through you.

You looked across the bar, sipping your drink watching your target. You had been stuck on this mission with Loki for days and you were going crazy. Every snide comment cutting deeper and deeper as you still tried to process what happened the other night. Thankfully you were about to apprehend the hydra agent you were after so you could go back to the tower and lick your wounds in private when Loki's voice cut through your consciousness "are you sure you will be able to seduce him? I am not sure your his type." Loki snarked into the coms making you grit your teeth. You screwed your eyes shut as Jason's words echoed through your mind "maybe we should contact Shanice." He said laughing when your eyes shot open, looking across the bar your eyes met his seeing his smile drop. "Y/n?" He asked into the coms as you pulled it out dropping it onto your drink as you stood and began walking towards the agent.

"Hey there, can I buy you a drink?" You purred running a hand up the man's arm. "Not interested." He said not looking up from his phone "well how about a little fun then?" You asked stepping closer to him "I'm not into whores." He said finally looking up at you "especially ugly ones." He said laughing as he stood up "good luck." He snarked tossing money onto the bar as he walked off. You stood frozen staring at the bar when you saw movement out of the corner of your eye, looking seeing Loki punch the man in the face before dragging him through the door "shit..." you sighed quickly running after them you burst out the door looking around when you heard grunts coming from the alley

"how dare you speak to her that way." You heard Loki snarl as you ran into the alley "loki! What are you doing!?" You yelled watching him shove the man against the brick wall "securing the target, what else." He said holding the man there by the throat "we have to go!" You yelled hearing voices coming from further in the alley "I'm not through with this one yet." He snarled when a gunshot rang through the alley "Loki, let's go!" You yelled pulling your gun out from your purse aiming down the alley you fired a few warnings shots when you looked back seeing Loki slam the man's head against the wall as he slumped the the ground "loki, we..." you were cut off by a sharp pain in your shoulder knocking you off your feet "y/n!" Loki yelled as you sat up "fuck!" You yelled pressing your hand to your shoulder seeing red "Dammit!" You gritted as Loki walked over grabbing you arm pulling you up

"let go!" You yelled ripping your arm away "y/n, I was only.." he started when you looked up at him, seeing his eyes soften "get us back to the jet." You growled gritting your teeth as he gently placed his hand on your other shoulder, closing your eyes you felt the familiar tingle that came when Loki teleported you. Opening your eyes you saw that you were inside the jet "here, let me see." He said walking towards you "no, don't touch me!" You yelled storming to the back of the jet grabbing the first aid kit "stop being so stubborn and let me see it!" Loki demanded following you when you slammed the kit down "no! Haven't you done enough!" You yelled feeling the tears welling in your eyes as you looked up at him "just get us back to the tower so I can go back to my pathetic existence." You snarled ripping the kit open "y/n, i..." he started

"haven't you ruined my life enough?" You asked feeling the tears steaming down you cheek "you have made it abundantly clear how weak and useless I am, and guess what...you were right!" You yelled ripping your dress seeing the wound in your shoulder "so just get us back and I'll tell Tony to give you a better partner." You hissed pressing gauze to the wound "y/n please, just listen." Loki said taking a step forward you slammed you hand down on the table "no! I won't...get us back...now!" You yelled seeing him jump as your eyes met his "very well." He said looking down he walked to the cockpit as you sat down, holding your head in your hands unable to stop the sobs that wracked through you you tried to cover your mouth as you rocked back and forth feeling the jet lift off you closed your eyes thankful you would be home soon and back to your room.

~~one week later~~

You grunted at the pain in your shoulder as you slid your tank top on, trying to get dressed. You hadn't left your room since you got back and thankfully loki had given you a wide birth since, there was no way you could handle him right now. You looked in the mirror pulling your hair back sighing seeing the dark circles under your eyes "well, thats as good as its gonna get." You said walking to your door. You were happy to stay locked up but Bruce told you you needed to start working your shoulder, so you begrudgingly made you way to the training room, hoping you would be alone but already knowing better, the men in the tower practically lived in the gym.

You took a deep breath, walking inside seeing Loki training with Thor, his daggers sending sparks in the air as they clashed with Thor's hammer. Looking further you saw Steve sparring with bucky and Nat on the treadmill. You quietly walked in, slowly setting your things down when you looked up meeting eyes with Loki. You quickly put your head down sitting on the bench to tie your shoes when a woman's giggle pulled your attention to the door, sighing seeing Jason walk in with Shanice on his arm, running a hand up his bicep "last night was amazing." She said looking at you as she smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Mmm your so sexy." He purred as he pressed his lips to hers. I can't do this you said to yourself as you got up, feeling the familiar sting in your eyes as you grabbed your things when you heard the sound of metal clanging to the floor.

Turning around you saw Loki taking purposeful strides towards you, ripping his gloves off throwing them to the floor as he stormed closer, his eyes boring into making you shiver as he came up on you "Loki...wha..." you were cut off as his hand clasped the back of your head, his fingers twining in your hair as he pulled you to him. All rational thought left you as his mouth crashed into yours, electricity shooting through you as his lips caressed yours. You felt him pull back, opening your eyes they met his as they searched yours "y/n. I.." he started when you reached up burying you fingers into his messy curls you pulled his lips back down to yours, tilting your head deepening the kiss earning a growl from him as your tongue glided across his bottom lip.

"Y/n" you heard him whisper as your tongue dove past his parted lips, moaning into his mouth feeling his other hand at your hip slowly sliding down cupping your ass, feeling him shiver as you fingers dove under the hem of his shirt ghosting over the skin above his shorts, traveling around to his lower back biting his bottom lip as you pulled his hips towards you feeling his hard length press against your stomach. "Aahh....y/n.." he moaned as you sucked on his bottom lip releasing it with a soft pop as you pulled back looking up into his eyes as you both tried to catch your breath. "Loki." You vaguely heard someone call out as you stared into eachothers eyes, his hand coming up cupping your cheek.

"Loki." You heard again, realizing it was Thor "H..he's calling you." You whispered unable to break Loki's gaze "hmm?" He hummed as his thumb caressed your cheek "he's calling you." You whispered as Thor walked over to you "Brother, what is the matter with you, did you forget your name?" Thor laughed when you saw Loki smile "it seems i have." He said making your cheeks heat up you looked over seeing shanice huff before grabbing Jason's hand and storming from the room. "Well, I'll leave you two alone." Thor said as he walked out as well. You looked back up at Loki, his eyes soft as you took a deep breath "Loki, i.." you started when he pressed a finger to your lips "y/n, please....there is something I have needed to say for sometime now." He said quietly slowly lowering his finger he grabbed your hands

"what you heard that night on the balcony." He started looking down "i...I did not mean a word of it." He said looking back up to you "then...why?" You asked feeling him squeeze your hand "when I first met you, you were so beautiful and kind, and I was...I am...a monster." He whispered as you shook your head "no...you aren't." You said squeezing his hands back "y/n, I've killed people, I attempted to rule your planet, i..." he started when you placed your finger in his lips "that wasn't you, you...Loki...have been mistreated, abused, lied to." You said seeing a tear steam down his cheek "you have a big heart, even though not many get the chance to see it." You said wiping his cheek with your thumb "but i...I have been so unkind to you...the things I've said." He trailed off looking down

"would you allow me to make amends? Allow me to treat you as you deserve?" He asked, biting his lip as he looked back up at you, a sadness In his eyes you hadn't seen before. "Well, I suppose you do owe me." You said smiling making his eyebrow arch "that asshat did show up that night." You said nodding towards the door "so if I remember correctly I won the wager." You said seeing him smile "you are correct, what does the lady wish as payment?" He asked taking a step closer to you "name it and it shall be yours." He said bringing your hand to his lips kissing the back of it "a date...I want to go out to dinner with you...get to know you...the you that you've kept hidden." You said seeing him smile "as you wish, I shall be at your room at eight o'clock." He said taking a step back "I look forward to it." You smiled as he nodded and walked towards the door

"and Loki?" You called out as he turned "i...I'm sorry." You said biting your lip "for all the mean things I said to you." You said seeing him smile "I am sorry too, it will never happen again" He said placing a hand over his heart "you have my word." He said "eight o'clock." You said smiling seeing him return it before walking out. You couldn't help the squeal that escaped you as you grabbed your things and ran to your room to get ready. Excitement running though you at the prospect of a second chance, one you were not going to let get away this time.

@lokistoriesblog @hyperlokilover @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @simplyholl @lokidokieokie @mjsthrillernp @violethaze @dryyoursaltyoceantears @loz-3 @commanding-officer @stupidthoughtsinwriting @high-functioning-lokipath @jaidenhawke @lokiandbuckysdoll @littlespaceyelf @lastlovesong17 @ladyofthestayingpower @homesickloki @glitterylokislut @avoliax @yelkmelk @mayjaysthots @buttercupcookies-blog @differenttyphoonwerewolf @her-glorious-purpose @nate-ate-hate @chantsdemarins @ladymischief11 @usagishira @princess-asgard @honeyg19 @goblingirlsarah @cabingrlandrandomcrap @silverfire475 @smolvenger @marygoddessofmischief @animnerd @texmexdarling @fictive-sl0th @jin0x0 @vbecker10 @eleniblue @lady-rose-moon @pics-and-fanfics @kittiowolf210 @kats72 @asgardianprincess1050 @crimson25

[marveldiaries]

Hi! 😊

Leaving aside evil me, whenever you can, can you write about Loki fallen in love with reader, but he isn't his usual self, he seems lost in his thoughts and reader is all happy, all the time she is sighing, hearing and singing love songs. One day Loki hears a conversation between reader and Wanda where Wanda is asking reader if the way she is acting is because she is in love and reader confirms it, and explain how she can't erase the smile off her face, have butterflies in her stomach when she thinks of him, but she didn't say a name but when she describes how is the person she is in love, Loki misunderstood and now thinks the person in question is the Cap and gets angry but mostly sad. At the end is revealed that readers is actually in love with him.

Sorry if is too long, I just need to feel loved 🥲

Aaaahhhh!!!!! Hiiiiii!!!!!! This has taken me waaaaaaay too long to get to and I'm so sorry!!!!! But I'm here, let's do it!!!!! And thank you so so much for sending this to me @luvlady-writes !!!! 💚

====================================

Close to You

Pairing: Avenger Loki x female reader

Warnings: sooooooooo this totally took a nose dive directly into angst-ville.....sorry.....angst to fluff, happy ending, friends to lovers, confession, mild sadness.

Summary: you work in stark tower and have fallen hard for a certain god, but he would never feel the same....would he.....

A/n-umm......not much really.....sorry again it took so long to get to this!!!!!

You quickly grabbed your bag and Wanda's coffee heading to the elevators. Pushing the button you sighed "come on." You said shifting feet, you were already late having slept past your alarm, not wanting to come back to reality from your dreams....the ones of a tall dark asgardian. Your head snapped up as the elevator dinged its arrival "finally." You huffed as the doors slid open making you freeze "ah lady y/n...how are you today?" Loki asked smiling that smile, the one that makes your insides melt "your good...I mean I'm hot....eerr good! I'm good!" You stuttered hearing him laugh. "Well, are you coming?" He asked when you realized you hadn't moved "yes!...yes sorry." You said slowly stepping in as the doors closed.

You slid over to the panel, the scent of mint and snow wafted through the air making you sigh as you pushed the button to your floor before sliding away. "Full day planned?" He asked smiling again...damn his beautiful face..."y..yes, wanda has a few interviews to do and some meet and greets." You said looking at the doors, trying to keep your brain from short circuiting at your proximity "ah I see, I have some of those as well, maybe I will see you there?" He asked fully turning towards you "i...I'd like that." You giggled seeing his smile widen when the elevator sounded again "after you my lady." He said waving you before him. "T..thanks." You said smiling back as him as you walked out. "See you later y/n." He called from behind you "bye Loki." You turned seeing him put his hands in his pockets, his cheeks a slight pink as you turned back making your way to the common room.

"Aahh your here!" Wanda yelled as you walked in "yeah sorry! I overslept." You said handing her her coffee, you had been her assistant for almost a year and you loved it. She was kind, compassionate...you couldn't have asked for a better boss. "Oh no, do you need to take the day off? I can manage." Wanda said sitting on the couch "oh no, I'm fine. It's just..." you trailed off setting your bag down "nothing, it's nothing." You smiled pulling your planner out. "Ok so, today..." you trailed off hearing music coming from down the hall, furrowing your eyebrows you look up seeing Bucky walk in with his phone..

"And just like me, they long to be, close to you...." the song played making you smile "Bucky Barnes, I didn't known you listened to the carptenters." You smiled as he sat down "honestly it's a good song, I wish I had been around for that time period." He said as the song continued. You hummed along, making notes as your thoughts wandered. Would Loki like that song...would he dance with you on the balcony under the stars..."earth to y/n." You heard pulling you back "oh...sorry lost in thought." You said clearing your throat "are you sure your ok?" Wanda asked "yeah! I'm fine." You smiled sliding your planner back in your bag "we should probably go though, lots to do." You said grabbing your keys "ok, but let me know if you want to go." She said standing up "Wanda I'm fine I promise." You said laughing as you headed back towards the elevators.

The entire day had been a mess of interviews, and fans, and autographs and to say you were done was an understatement. You could handle people fine, but the large crowds, the screaming and chanting was starting to grate your nerves. "Ok, you've got one more meet and greet and then we're done for the day." You said flopping into your car, Wanda slumping down in the seat next to you "do we have to?" She asked making you laugh "Tony's orders, besides they love you." You said slapping her knee. "Well atleast I won't be on my own for this one." She said sitting up "what do you mean?" You asked turning down a side street "oh, Loki's with me at this one...didn't I tell you?" She asked as you cleared your throat "n..no, i...you must have spaced it." You stuttered peeking over seeing her staring

"what?" You asked pulling into the garage "your ok with Loki yes? I don't want you to be uncomfortable." She said still staring "what! Yes! I just...I didn't know he was going to be there." You rushed out parking the car "ok, you guys seem to get along so.." She shrugged as you giggled "yeah no he's good...we're good...I mean...yeah." you mumbled hearing her laugh. "He's a little intimidating but he's a big softie." She said opening the door. "I'd like to find out how soft.." you said under your breath "what?" Wanda asked leaning down. "Nothing! Let's get in there." You said quickly grabbing your things you led the way inside wanda following quickly behind you.

You both made your way to the small stage where your table was set up, pulling her set of different colored markers out you nodded as she smiled "ok, I'll be over there if you need me." You said when wanda grabbed your hand "Hey, thank you...I don't think I'd make it through this without you." She said making you smile "you got this." You winked squeezing her hand as you walked towards the backstage area. You leaned against the wall with a sigh hearing they had opened the doors, hundreds of people yelling and hollering resonating through your head "almost over." You said looking out seeing Loki's table watching him sitting stock still, staring down at the table. "What the..." you started when every woman in the city rushed his table, cutting off your view of him.

You pushed off the wall walking back to wanda seeing her smiling at a group of kids dressed as her "Hey, what's up with dark and broody?" You asked as wanda looked over seeing Loki leaned over the table mindlessly signing what was put in front of him "hmm, I don't know. He's been like that for weeks now." She said looking back at the kids. "Really? I hadn't noticed." You said standing up straight "he's pretty tight lipped, maybe ask Thor?" She shrugged continuing with her fans. "I'm gonna head back over there." You said walking back towards the wall. You stood back watching as the crowd began to thin, thanking all the gods it was almost over.

Exhaustion ran through you as you made your way back to the tower, the song bucky was playing earlier wandering back into your mind. "Y/n?" Wanda asked making you look over "hmm?" You hummed looking back to the road "you were humming that song again." She said laughing when your felt your cheeks burn "oh...sorry" you said clearing your throat "no, it's ok...it's just." She started turning herself towards you "do you like someone?" She asked as your eyes shot to hers. "I have no idea what your talking about." You said turning into the garage getting out. "Oh come on y/n, you've been all doe eyes and hearts the last month." She said quicky catching up to you. "Can't I just be happy?" You laughed nervously pushing the button to the elevator "well yes, but I've known you for awhile now....you don't hum." She laughed as you both stepped into the elevator "I think your reading too much into it." You said as the doors opened you quickly walked towards the common room.

"Y/n, aren't we friends?" Wanda asked plopping down on the couch "yes...But..." you were cut off by her raising her hand "well, then you should know you can tell me anything." She said smiling. "You aren't letting this go are you?" You sighed as she shook her head "nnnnope....spill it." She said as you walked around sitting next to her. "Fine...yes i...I like someone." You said sitting back "more then like really." You said as she shifted facing you "tell me tell me tell me." She said hopping up and down. "You can't tell anyone." You said watching her cross her heart. "Ok...he lives here...in the tower." You said as she leaned in "He's tall...handsome...and those muscles..." you trailed off looking at the ceiling. "And his suit...its so...tight." you sighed thinking about all that leather tightly wrapped around his large frame "god what I wouldn't give to get that suit off of him." You sighed hearing her laugh "someone I know i assume?" She asked as you looked over at her when Loki walked out from the hallway

"oh, h..hey Loki." You said quicky sitting up "Ms. Y/l/n." He said not looking at you as he walked across the room, his cold demeanor making your anxiety rise "h..how was your meet and greet?" You asked trying to act casual "fine." He huffed disappearing into the kitchen. "What was that about?" You asked Wanda seeing her shrug "he can be a bit moody sometimes." She said turning back to you "now, you were saying..." She said waving her hand "actually I should go, it's getting pretty late." You said standing up. "Well you'll have to tell me more about this tall mystery man tomorrow." She said standing up with you "fiiine." You laughed as Wanda hugged you "be careful getting home." She said turning to head down the hall "I will." You called after her. You threw your bag over your shoulder looking at the kitchen door, your interaction with Loki eating at you. "I'll just tell him goodnight." You said to yourself taking a deep breath you walked over pushing the door open seeing Loki sitting at the island in the dark, his hands over his face.

"Loki.." you trailed off watching him quicky stand up wiping his face "miss y/l/n." He said not looking at you. You stood in the doorway as he set the kettle on the stove, Silence blanketing the room causing your anxiety to reach a new high at the tension between you "s..so um, I just wanted to say goodnight." You said as Loki went about preparing his cup "is that all?" He snarked still avoiding looking at you "is...are you...is everything ok?" You stuttered taking a step towards him "Why wouldn't it be?" He asked, his voice void of all emotion as he kept his eyes down "you...well you seem upset." You said when his eyes finally met yours, seeing a sadness in them that stabbed your heart

"never better...in fact Thor and I are going to that new bar downtown." He said as the kettle screamed "oh?" You asked taking another step closer "yes, I hear there will be a fair amount of lovely women there as well." He said pulling the kettle from the stove, a pang of jealousy running through at his words "oh...I see." You said taking a step back "maybe I'll finally find someone worthy of my attentions." He said as he looked up at you, his eyes stern causing a chill to run up your spine. "Well um...have fun." You said turning back towards the door "oh I intend to." He said behind you, you closed your eyes taking a deep breath "goodnight Loki." You said, after a few minutes he hadn't answered so you took that as your queue to leave. You made it back to your apartment, your interaction with Loki still running through your mind had you offended him...said something to upset him..."maybe he just had a long day, I'll talk to him tomorrow." You said as you climbed in bed trying to get some rest as the exhaustion of the day finally set in.

You had tried to catch loki the next day, and the day after but everytime you arrived at the tower he was nowhere to be found. As the days went on you began to miss your morning run ins with the god, his smile that made your heart skip, those deep green eyes that seemed to see into your soul. After two weeks you were beginning to get nervous, the last interaction with him boring a hole into your brain deeper and deeper the longer you didn't see him, so you decided to ask wanda one morning as you arrived for work seeing her reading on the couch "Hey, has Loki been around? It feels like forever since I've seen him." You asked setting your bag on the couch "yeah he's been spending alot of time with his assistant." She said not looking up from her book "I thought he didn't have an assistant...said he didn't need one." You said taking a seat across from her "hmm? Oh, a couple of weeks ago he told Tony he wanted one, some lady named jill I think." Wanda said setting her book down

"so, what's the plan today?" She smiled leaning forward "oh, um you have a couple of interviews and..." you trailed off pulling your planner out of your bag and began to flip through it trying to ignore the sting in your eyes he just doesnt want to see you. "Y/n, are you ok?" You heard her ask as you looked up meeting her eyes when you heard a woman laughing down the hall "and then I turned him into a frog." Loki's voice carried through into the room as he walked in looking as perfect as ever in his blue button up and black slacks, his sleeves rolled up, his forearms flexing as he talked to the short brunette next to him "oh my God your so funny." She said grabbing his arm as she cackled making you wince when you looked back at Loki seeing he was looking at you "hi Loki." You said trying to offer a small smile "love, this is Wanda's assistant, miss y/l/n." He said placing his hand on her back "hi, I'm jill." She said smiling at you "Hey." You said waving at her as Loki turned to her again and continued talking.

You took a deep breath, it was now or never "L...loki. I was wondering.." you started when he crossed his arms turning back to you "yes..." he said expectantly "um..could we...i mean could i..." you started looking between him and Jill "could i talk to you for a moment?" You asked hoping he would agree so you could figure out what you had done to upset him "Jill love, what does my schedule look like today?" He asked her not breaking eye contact with you "oh, you have a full day I'm afraid, interviews....a photoshoot...there are a couple of pr meetings, and then.." She trailed off closing her planner "yes, what else darling?" Loki said finally looking at her, the pet name he had given her stinging your chest "our dinner plans...sir." she said smiling.

Loki looked back at you. "You heard the lovely lady, I'm afraid I don't have time today." He said, his tone emotionless as you nodded "right, sorry. Maybe another time." You said looking down to your lap "maybe." He said turning back to her "shall we love?" He asked holding his arm out as she looped hers around his elbow "your so fancy." She giggled as they walked back down the hall. You grabbed your bag stuffing your planner back inside when your eyes met Wanda's "what?" You asked seeing her staring at you. "It's him." She said making you sigh "I don't know what you mean." You said standing up "oh don't give me that! It's him....the one you like." She said standing up with you. "Shh! Someone's going to hear you." You whisper yelled making her laugh "have you told him? You need to tell him" She said walking over to you "you were just in the same room right? You did see those two?" You asked throwing your bag over your shoulder "well yes, but..." you cut her off raising your hand "no buts, if he's happy, then I'm happy for him." You said sternly walking towards the hall "but what about your happiness?" She asked following behind you "I'll be fine." You said pulling your keys out "let's get today over with yeah?" You asked heading to the elevator "ok, whatever you say." She said as you buried your feelings, slapping a smile on your face wishing today was already over.

Another few weeks had gone by and several attempts to catch Loki alone to talk to him but he always eluded you, the times you had caught him he was with Jill and refused to acknowledge you. The weight in your heart becoming unbearable, your mind running into overdrive as you analyzed every interaction you had before he stopped speaking to you. "Hey y/n." You lifted your head seeing Wanda's smile drop "are you ok?" She asked looking you up and down, granted you hadn't put much thought into your appearance...your hair thrown up in a messy bun and grabbing the first outfit you found in your dresser "yeah...fine why?" You snapped as she crossed her arms "Well I was going to ask if you wanted to come to Tony's party tonight but you don't really seem up to it." She said leaning on the counter in the kitchen "why wouldn't I? Sounds like a great time." You snarked closing your planner shoving it in your bag. "Y/n..." Wanda trailed off making you sigh.

"I'm sorry, I just..." you sighed closing your eyes "He...he still won't talk to me and I don't know what I did to upset him and...jill." you said feeling a tear slide down your cheek "do you want me to talk to him?" She asked taking a step towards you "no! No that would just make things worse." You said quickly wiping your face "I think, wanda I think im going to..." you were cut off by the kitchen door opening, Jill walking in in one of Loki's t-shirts and a pair of shorts "Hey ladies. How are you?" She smiled walking towards the fridge. You heart sinking seeing her

"I have to go." You quicky said grabbing your bag "but y/n." Your heard wanda call after you as you pushed through the kitchen door running into something solid, a pair of hands grabbing your arms as you were forced backwards looking up seeing those green eyes staring down at you. "Miss y/l/n." He said, his tone flat as he quickly removed his hands. You felt the burn in your eyes return as you shouldered past him trying to get to the elevator "no need to be rude." You heard Loki call out from behind you as you pushed the button hoping the elevator would get there faster. "Y/n, wait." Wanda yelled as the doors slid open "I'll see you tonight." You said pushing the button, the doors closing right before she made it. You took a deep breath closing your eyes, you knew what you needed to do, as hard as it would be it needed to be done.

You touched up your makeup in the rear view mirror, adding another layer of concealer over the dark rings under your eyes as you got out of your car smoothing your dress. "Alright, I can do this." You said walking towards the elevator. You picked at your nails as you rode up, you were going to miss this, miss wanda...but you knew it's what you needed to do. You heard the bass thumping from the ballroom as the doors opened, walking down the long hallway you walked in seeing the room filled with people you didn't know as you made your way to the bar. You waved the bartender over ordering a drink as nat walked over "Hey how are you?" She asked sitting on a stool next to you "fine...where's Tony?" You asked looking out into the room "over by the stage last time I saw him." She said sipping her drink "ok thanks." You said grabbing your drink as you headed towards the stage. "There you are." You said as you spotted him standing in the corner talking with Steve when someone's elbow came up knocking your drunk out of your hand gasping as the cold liquid splashed down the front of your dress.

"I'm so sorry!" You heard, looking up seeing Jill staring at you "let me grab some napkins." She said quickly rushing off as you pulled the material away from your skin. "What a shame." You heard Loki's deep timber next to you, looking up seeing his arms crossed as he looked down at you "loki." You said gritting you teeth as you glanced over seeing Tony still with Steve. "Ah, making sure the captain is here." Loki said making you look back at him "too bad he isn't wearing your favorite suit." He sneered making your eyebrows furrow "what are you talking about?" You snapped, tired of whatever this was "oh you know very well what I'm talking about, don't deny it." He said taking a step closer "loki, I really don't..." you were cut off by his hand rising "it matters not, he is welcome to you." He said looking you up and down "I wouldn't waste my time on a pathetic mortal anyway." He said looking back towards the bar.

You felt your heart sink into your stomach at his words "a pathetic mortal." You whispered feeling the sting in your eyes return "here, I got these." Jill said as she came back with a handful of napkins "thank you love, but I'm sure she is fine." Loki said grabbing her arm "ah reindeer games...y/n what happened?" Tony asked as he joined the commotion. You looked up at Loki his eyes cold "Tony, I quit." You said grabbing the napkins from Jill "thank you." You said quickly turning back towards the entrance "y/n wait." Tony said as he followed you "why are you quitting?" He asked as you made it to the elevator "I can't do this anymore, I can't be around..." you trailed off looking down the hall seeing Loki walk around the corner watching you "I just can't do this job anymore, I'm sorry Tony." You said as the doors slid open "what am I going to tell wanda?" He asked as you pushed the button "tell her I'm sorry." You said, your eyes meeting Loki's one last time as the doors slid shut.

You made it home, pulling your soiled dress off you jumped in the shower hearing your phone going off making you sigh. You finished cleaning your spilled drink off wrapping a towel around you as you walked out grabbing your phone from the nightstand seeing multiple missed calls and texts from wanda "Hey what happened?" "Was it Loki? I can stab him." You almost laughed at the last one as you typed your response "don't worry about it, I'm sorry wanda but I can't be there anymore, I hope your next assistant is better." You typed as you hit send before quickly turning your phone off unable to deal with her as you grabbed your pajamas, changing before you slipped into bed wishing the whole day was a nightmare.

It had been a week and you had spent the entire time in your pajamas, unable to bring yourself to put actual clothes on. You walked to the kitchen deciding to make some coffee before jumping onto your computer turning in more resumes when there was a knock at your door. Shaking your head you continued your task thinking it was wanda again trying to convince you to come back "I said no wanda." You whispered when another knock came, louder this time "y/n, may I please have a word?" Loki's voice made you freeze as he called out from the other side of the door. "What is he doing here?" You asked yourself peeking out of the kitchen to the front door "I will not go away until you speak to me." He said making you sigh "one second." You called out straightening out your sweatshirt and trying to pull your hair up as you walked to the door, grabbing the handle you took a deep breath as you opened it, seeing Loki in all his glory standing with his hands in his pockets "what do you want?" You asked crossing your arms.

"May I come in?" He asked as you didn't move "it will only take a moment...please." He said shifting back and forth "you have one minute." You said as you stepped aside letting him in before closing the door behing him "time starts now." You said crossing your arms "y/n, I'm an idiot." He said turning to face you "I...wanda had a word with me, well...several if im honest." He said rubbing his palms together "and she informed me a may have been sorely mistaken." He said looking down "about what exactly...thirty seconds." You said looking at the clock

"I heard your conversation that night...with wanda after the interviews." He said as he looked up "I was under the assumption the tall muscular mystery man was....rogers." He said as his eyes met yours "so, I did what I thought was best...since you clearly didn't feel the same way for me, I pushed you away." He said clearing his throat "wait...say that again." You said dropping your hands "that I pushed you away?" He asked taking a step back from you as you walked closer "no, before that." You said still advancing on him "t...that you didn't feel the same." He said running into the back of the couch "you...do you mean to tell me you..." you trailed off looking down "yes y/n, I like you...alot, I have for quite some time." He said making your eyes shoot back to his "your kind, funny, intelligent...how could I not?" He asked smiling "and when I thought your attentions were for rogers i...I felt as though my heart would break in two." He said fidgeting with his fingers

"I can never apologize enough for the things I said to you, how i spoke to you" he continued as you took another step closer, your hands reaching out to grab his when your eyes met, seeing his puffy and red "please believe from the bottom of my heart I am so sorry." He said lacing his fingers with yours "what about jill?" You asked loosening your grip when he squeezed your hands "I have told her that I have met someone, that i...." he trailed off clearing his throat "t..that I love." He said, his eyes searching yours "I understand if I have ruined what may have been, but I was hoping you may find it in your heart to allow me to court you?" He asked squeezing your hands tighter.

"On one condition Loki." You said looking up at him "anything, name it." He said pulling you towards him "loosen your grip." You whispered as he quickly looked down releasing your hands, your fingers a light blue making you laugh "norns I'm so sorry, I sometimes forget myself and..." you cut him off pressing a finger to his lips "it's ok Loki." You said seeing him smile "there is one other thing I must ask." He said rubbing your fingers "what's that?" You asked smiling "I have been told that if I do not bring you back to the tower with me I shall be disemboweled." He said making you laugh "so would you be willing to take up your old post and become Wanda's assistant again?" He asked as you looked up at him, his eyes hopeful "well, you need to be in one piece to go on a date." You laughed "yes that would be preferable." He laughed with you

"ok fine, but no more assuming ok?" You asked as he took a step closer, cupping your cheek in his large hand "no more assuming, I swear it." He said, his eyes darting to your lips and back "may we seal it with a kiss?" He asked licking his lips. "Weeellll, I suppose...." you were cut off by his lips capturing yours, your brain short circuiting as his arm wrapping around your back pulling you closer pressing your chest against his as your hands gripped his large shoulders. He pulled back slightly, your lips chasing his hearing him laugh "there will be plenty of time for that darling." He said pressing his forehead to yours "now, how about you go get ready and I'll take you to dinner." He said smiling at you as you stepped back walking towards your bedroom "and do hurry, If you take too long I may have to come in there." He said making you laugh

"well, I may need help finding my shampoo." You said turning around in your doorway winking. "Well what kind of gentleman would I be if I did not help a lady in distress?" He asked striding towards you "well I was hoping you might be...less then gentle." You purred trailing your fingers up the buttons of his shirt "whatever you...desire." He growled as you grabbed his hand pulling him into the room shutting the door behind him hoping your shower was big enough for two....

@mjsthrillernp @eleniblue @nina25sblog @lokiandbuckysdoll @muddyorbs @crimson25 @kkdvkyya @kaylalikescatsandstuff @chokeanddagger @chantsdemarins @ladymischief11 @jaidenhawke @high-functioning-lokipath @lokidbadguy @buttercupcookies-blog @crzyplantladyvibes @princessdragon23 @lelliefant @stupidthoughtsinwriting @sinsandguilt @emarich7 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @differenttyphoonwerewolf @kikster606 @edelweissbarnes @kateslife15 @holdmytesseract @pennyl4n3 @huntressandlioness1 @libbybeaz @lokidokieokie @irishhappiness @daggers-and-mischief @dukes2581 @lokislittlemisfit @peachyjinx @ladyofthestayingpower @mysticalmayhem1930 @presidentlokis-hornyhelmet @janineb86 @anukulee @loz-3 @fictive-sl0th @aniar4wniak @jotunqueenneith @yelkmelk @lokisgirl96 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @genderfluid-anime-goth

[marveldiaries]

Don't leave me... I'll stay (Loki)

Summary: After an argument causes a rift between Loki and Y/N, the day is spent ignoring the other until Y/N decides to spend the night away from Loki.

Warning: Angst? i dunno what else to put in but angst eheheh. long maybe? this is a very long fic eheheh. ohh and another thing is that this may be prone to mistakes as i dont have anybody to proof this so... ehehhe

Note: eheheeh the liar has finally posted what was promised, precisely a month late or later. eheheh sorry to those who waited, school has taken a lot of my time, I barely open my laptop to work and im rarely here anymore but i've got until the monday off so lets see what i'll do with that eheheh

The context is vague, I apologize but i am complete rubbish at this. at everything really, including writing so eheheh. To those brave souls that braved this whole thing, Thank you! so very deeply, from the bottom of my heart for even showing the slightest bit of interest in my rubbish ideas. Hope you like it and im stopping myself from going any further and prolonging this intro ehehhe, Enjoy!😊

‘No Loki! Just because I have this disease, doesn’t mean you have the right to keep me locked up like some sort of china. I am able to do just about everything I could before I told you and you have no right telling me what I can or cannot do’ you countered his argument but being stubborn, neither of you relented nor ceased.

You were now second guessing whether it was right or not, telling him about the chronic illness you were diagnosed with, but you knew that you did the right thing if you wanted this relationship to have a good foundation. The reaction however… was not how you thought things would go.

It was simple at first. Barely noticeable and could have been mistaken as added doting to his already caring nature with you but overtime, it became more and more obvious how he was setting up these restrictions you never would have agreed on. It only grew ridiculous, and you would have allowed the passive ones, but this was the final straw.

Your patience had worn thin over the entirety of the argument however, as comments grew more rash and the final ‘disapproval’ of your oncoming task was remarked, you snapped. He had no right to restrict you of activities and tasks he thinks are too much for your condition and it only insulted and hurt you to think that he thought you so frail and weak that even simple chores were too much.

‘I am going on this mission, whether you “approve” or not, because just telling you was out of courtesy. I refuse to be told of my restrictions by anyone besides myself. I would have understood your concerns if the situation were more grave, but for the love of God, it’s a simple data extraction.’ You exasperated, growing tired of fighting about something you know he won’t fold on.

‘In an abandoned Hydra base!’ he pointed out, choosing not to acknowledge how you outright dismissed his concern, no matter how much it hurt. ‘You know of the dangers that lurk in those retched lairs and often times there are still those who patrol the premises. You do remember when Rogers and Romanoff were attacked during their little escapade in Camp Leigh, do you not?’

‘Of course, I remember, I’m not a moron’ you snide, glaring daggers at the raven-haired god and you were just about to justify how Barnes was going with you however the comment he let out was the final pull on the thinned thread.

‘Well, you certainly are acting like one’ he mumbled without thinking, turning away. He thought it was low enough so you wouldn’t hear but he thought wrong.

‘I beg your pardon?!’ you all but screeched out of fury. Loki flinched before he turned at the high pitch and fury, he heard from you. He saw the outraged his comment caused in your eyes. The fire that burned in those beautiful orbs of yours was terrifying however, what truly frightened him was how you took a breath, calming yourself and before he could so much as apologize, rolled your eyes and turned away.

‘I’m done’ you raised your hands in surrender, turning your back to him.

‘What do you mean you’re done?’ he asked as fear of losing you threatened his being. You mean everything to him and just the very thought of losing you and him being the very reason you were gone… it opened a holocaust in his mind.

‘This conversation, I am done. I’m ending it before either of us say something or does more damage that there already is’ you yield, busying yourself with tidying up the files you had splayed out all over the floor.

Relief flooded his senses before guilt quickly bore fruit.

He watched as you packed up your work and strode out of the room. It took him a minute, but he followed you out and once he finally reached the living room, he met the sight of you slipping on your trainers and throwing your gadgets, wallet and keys in your bag before moving to the door and slamming it shut.

He stood frozen in the threshold of the hall as he processed what happened. All he wanted was to keep you safe. Never did he think that things would go this bad.

You stormed out of the flat and went to the compound for the briefing you had with Bucky. It was scheduled for tomorrow, but you just could not stay in the flat, not with him, not at the moment. You needed a cool head and quite frankly, yours was blazing.

You called Barnes to reschedule, which he agreed to but before he could ask why, you had already hung up. You needed to calm down, seriously.

You took a scenic route around the city before heading to the facility. You parked at the car park and turned off the vehicle before you let your head fall on the steering wheel. Loki’s’ words really stung but in his own way, you knew he meant well. He loved you but it felt demeaning to be confined to one place or to be babied. You are a grown woman; this disease may affect you in some way but you wouldn’t let it define and control your life like its slowly doing to Loki.

You took your phone to look at the time and was greeted with lock screen background of you and Loki cuddling, fast asleep. Someone from the team took the picture to spite Loki but you found it adorable and set it on your phone. It brought a small grin to your lips until you got a message from Barnes saying which conference room was being used for the quick briefing. You sighed, taking your bag before exiting the car and heading in the building.

The briefing was quick. Only about the layout of the base, where to go and what to take. You were in and out in possibly ten minutes, but you longed for it to be longer. You didn’t want to go home yet so you stayed for a chat with the others, talking to Wanda about her relationship, discussing with Bruce the project he was working on before you went and left with a goodbye, heading for the shops for dinner prep and a bit of groceries, taking your time in each aisle to pass the minute until you really had to go home.

Loki had texted Thor after you left, asking if you were at the compound. It took a bit for his brother to respond but eventually he replied with ‘Barnes says she’s on her way for a meeting’. He felt relieved to at least know where you are, knowing you were safe and not alone somewhere. 

Hours passed until he heard your keys on the front door, the metal snake keychain giving a distinct clink with the rest of your keys. He looked to the door from where he sat on the living room, watching as you trudged in the brown bags of groceries. You kicked the door closed and placed the bags in the kitchen bench, never sparing him a look. He could sense that you didn’t want to be around him, he could always sense it. He’s had years of experience with being ignored nor wanted. He knew when to take his leave, so he left for the bedroom, never sparing you a sound of his departure.

You saw Loki on the chaise when you walked in. You blatantly ignored him, but he was on the couch. The only indication you got that he left was when you heard the bedroom door close. You were fixing everything you had bought to the cupboards and the pantry when you just heard the soft click of the door closing. You felt bad with how distant you two were being but what stung more is that he couldn’t bear to be in the same room as you that he had to leave. You wanted to make things right. You were thinking of things to say as you put away the vegetables, but he seemed to want the opposite.

You put everything away and started making supper, finishing an hour or two later. Loki still hasn’t left the bedroom, though you did hear the shower run a few minutes prior, so you ate by yourself, wallowing in your thoughts about the mission and Loki.

Your bowl was half gone when he emerged from the room and moved to where you were eating on the table. You had prepared him a bowl, which now sat at the other end of the table. You weren’t talking to each other, but you still care and love him. The soup had gone a bit cold, but it was there, and he sat and ate it anyways.

Both of you stayed silent, neither breaking the silence as the tension grew thick. You quickly finished the rest of your meal before standing abruptly to start cleaning up. You let the bowl rinse and soak in the sink while you stored the leftovers in a container and to the fridge. You had put more than enough on his bowl, so you were sure he wouldn’t be asking for seconds. You quickly washed the dishes whilst he ate while reading his book. He was nearly done when you left the kitchen and proceeded to the bathroom.

He let out a sigh and dropped his book when he heard the shower running. He has been staring at the very same paragraph over and over but not once has he actually paid attention to the text let alone understood it. He was hoping to break the ice between you two, but he froze, missing his chance.

He rinsed his own dish and made sure everything was good and locked up before he went back to the bedroom, preparing to go to bed.

You came out a few minutes later, steam billowing from the ensuite and following you. Your hair was wrapped up in a towel, your body clad in the oversized jumper you adored, with a nightie underneath. You still refused to acknowledge him as you made your way to the closet, grabbing a spare comforter.

This got Loki’s attention and was what broke the silence of the room, really the silence you have both established since the argument earlier.

‘What are you doing?’ he asked as he stopped fluffing the pillow in his hold. Your pillow.

‘I have a few case files to read and paperwork to do so… I’m staying in the living room’ you stated, hardly with any emotion, tugging at the comforter from the top shelf.

‘And the need for a blanket?’ he questioned again, looking over your well bundled figure. The sweater you had was thick and big enough to cover your legs if you were truly that cold, he knew that and the fact that you only use blankets whenever you were going to sleep.

‘It’s likely I’ll fall asleep on the couch so I’m preparing for the inevitable. To put it bluntly, I’m sleeping on the couch’ you say, finally turning around to see him holding your pillow before you moved to leave the room.

All Loki could do was nod, clenching his jaw as his hands dropped your pillow and watch as you left the room. He couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t will his lips to move in protest and just accepted what was going to happen. He didn’t want to force you seeing how that went earlier, so he let it… you, go do what you wish. He didn’t want to lose you and he’d do anything and everything to avoid that.

He got cleaned up in the bathroom before he went to bed. He couldn’t sleep and for hours he’s spent it staring up at the ceiling. Once he'd learned to sleep with you by his side, it was harder now to do so without you and the lingering thoughts of your fight earlier kept him company.

It took a while before the fatigue finally succumbed to him, his mind too tired to do anything that it finally forfeited and let him rest.

You on the other hand, haven’t slept at all. Not a wink of it. You spent a bit writing up some reports and looking over at some case files but after you found that you couldn’t focus, you packed everything up and tried to get some sleep. Tried. You really did but as tired as your body was, your mind worked wonders in keeping you up.

The fight you had was your fore thought, mainly the look in Loki’s eyes when you said you weren’t sleeping in the same room as him. He always tried to look impassive in front of others but with you, his eyes held so many expressions of love and adoration, you saw none of that as he held your pillow.

You felt bad leaving him alone. The gesture alone of fixing your side of the bed was heart-warming, that it made you feel like a monster when you saw the look he gave you. Of absolute disappointment? It wasn’t the right word, but you felt like you took the one good thing he had and crushed it in front of him.

You tried to stave off such thoughts, thinking of your task for tomorrow and such but it wasn’t any use. Your mind was going miles per minute, and you just couldn’t keep up. You stayed on the couch for hours, laying on the furniture as your eyes stayed transfixed on a spiderweb on the ceiling. You grew restless overtime so the idea of making tea came to mind.

You thought it a good idea for a cup to help you, so you finally got up. You took the towel you used from the coffee table and hung it on a chair as you turned the kettle on. You grabbed a cup from the drying rack and dropped the bag of chamomile you got from the jar, as you waited for the water to boil.

It was then you heard a whimper. It came fast and low, you were beginning to think that you imagined it when you heard it again. You left the cup sitting on the counter as you went to investigate, looking all around the open space of the flat until it finally registered to you that it was coming from the bedroom.

Loki…

Fast steps quickly took you to the door of the room, which was left open and from where you stood, you heard his cries clearly. The room, gloomy when you entered had scarcely any light. The only source came from the dim lighting from the hall and the sliver of moonlight seeping through the curtains, but it was enough to help you at least see figures.

You moved to the general area of where the bed was and there you saw his figure, trembling slightly. From what you saw as your eyes further adjusted to the darkness, he laid on his side, his shirt damp with sweat, his face glistening and his hair sticking all over his neck and cheeks. He had a pillow in his hold, his head buried in the cushion, but the muffled whines and whimpers still persisted to reach your ears. It was your pillow.

It had been a long while since these terrible nightmares have plagued his nights. The last was far too long ago you hardly remembered it anymore. You remember how he once told you about it having something to do with you sleeping by his side. That something about you just calmed him and made his mind come to a peaceful state. The guilt you felt increased tenfold as the regret of leaving him alone ate you alive. You didn’t… you don’t… you couldn’t have imagined how much you had helped him without even realizing and now leaving him to his own devices… you felt like a pompous prick.

You sped to his side, whispering his name in hopes to arouse him but it proved to be futile.

You sat beside him, turning to the side to face figure. A finger reached to tuck the damp locks behinds his ears as you whispered his name again, hoping to get through his thoughts but it still wasn’t working. Your hands moved to cradle the side of his face, your thumb caressing his cheek in hopes to stir him as you continued to say his name.

‘Loki’ you said softly, knowing using any other tone or pitch would only frighten him further. You moved your head next to his, your body twisted in an awkward position, but you couldn’t care less. You continued to whisper his name close to his ear, your thumbs caressing those sharp angled cheeks until he finally stirred.

You felt it. That light shake of his head as he finally starts rouse, as if shaking off fatigue and merciless thoughts that haunted his mind. You pulled away a bit to see him properly, wiping the beads of sweat that coated most of his forehead with the sleeve of your jumper as your other hand continued their gentle caress on his cheeks. He had a furrow that pulled his brows together and normally you would have found it adorable but right now you only hoped to remove it.

He blinked slowly, gathering his bearings to check if he was truly out of the agonizing torment his mind had conjured. He was losing you. It was scene after scene of ways he loses you and all of it was his fault. From you leaving him after an argument, to the image of the mad titan snapping your neck in his grasp as he watched. Each scenario broke him in every way, and he just couldn’t bare it.

The sight was still fresh in his mind as he finally started to ebb away from the drowse of sleep. Then as panic set him as he realized and processed what had happened, he didn’t notice the soft whisper of his name or the caress of your delicate fingers. He was on the verge of complete panic, tears welling up his eyes when he felt it. You.

Your voice. You touch. Your scent. Everything. It all enveloped him to the point It became overwhelming, but he wanted it. To suffocate in everything you, to banish those horrid thoughts away.

‘y/n?’ he whispered meekly, still questioning whether he was still in the throughs of his nightmare.

‘I’m here, It’s okay. It’s just a nightmare’ you replied as tears started to pour from his eyes and cascade down his cheeks.

‘I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry, p-please don’t leave me’ he heaved, his voice shaking with every word, it broke your heart to hear him so broken. His arms moved to wrap around you, having a tight hold on your waist, leaving the pillow, as he wept.

You could only do so much to keep your own tears at bay, but you managed to stay strong. Your fingers wiped much of the tears, but they only continued to flow so you pulled him in to hide in the crook of your neck.

‘Shhh darling. It’s alright, I’m here, I promise’ you said in his ear, knowing his cries would only muffle his hearing. He cried and cried, apologizing just as much in between but you still dismissed every single one.

‘Shhhh, you’re okay darling. It’s only a nightmare, it’s alright’ you moved your body to lay on the bed fully, settling beside him comfortably as you held him tight. Your fingers weaved through his obsidian locks, scratching his scalp in hopes to console and comfort him in anyway as he continued to heave on the crook of your neck.

It broke your heart to see him like this. Frightened to the bone like a little boy, shivering as if dunk in the oceans of the arctic. All those years of suffering topped his insecurities and the lack assurance and consoling care throughout most of his life… of course he was afraid. Of the possibilities this life held. He’d seen the worst parts of it, of course id be difficult to peer outside that little protective box he hid in. And your argument certainly didn’t help matters.

He cried for a while and you let him. Bare his vulnerability to you and it was your honour to be shown this fragile part of him. You’d treasure the trust he had in you, to keep him safe in times like these. You wouldn’t let anything happen to him, especially like this. You love him too much.

He calmed down after a little while, still letting out soft sniffs and whimpers every once and a while, but he had calmed down. You placed a soft kiss on his temple, an assurance of sorts before pulling back to face him but his grip only tightened, a whine escaping his lips as he hid himself further in the safety of your hair.

He didn’t want you to pull away for fear of you having enough of him, but he wouldn’t have it. He couldn’t.

You hushed him softly, running a hand through his inky locks and caressing his scalp, assuring him you weren’t going anywhere and only meant to talk to him. He was reluctant but he gave in, nodding the slightest bit before pulling away to face you.

His face was red, eyes bloodshot and puffy around the eyelids, looking down and anywhere but at you. Streaks of tears, dry and fresh cascaded down his sharp features, causing his unruly hair to stick. The look he gave you completely broke your heart, rendering it to mush whilst he had the decency to look so heartbroken.

You kept your composure as a finger swiped a way those stray locks, tucking it behind his ear before he nuzzled in the warms of your palm. Your thumb glided along the prominent angle of his zygoma, brushing away whatever moisture was left until you tilted his head up, by the chin, to look at you. His beautiful emerald eyes shimmered with unshed tears however he still won’t look you in the eyes.

‘Loki’ his name came off your lips in a soft whisper, finally grabbing his attention. Now that you finally had it though, all words seem to have left you, your thoughts drawing blank. A sigh left your lips as you let your head drop to his, your foreheads pressed together as you closed your eyes.

‘I’m sorry’ you said blankly, your hand rising to come through his locks and to scratch his scalp. Whether it was for his comfort or your distraction, you wouldn’t know.

He shook his head, dismissing your apology. Half of him didn’t know what you were apologizing for yet the other had an idea as to what, and even if it truly was what you were thinking, he knew that it was his fault.

‘No, don’t apologize. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have treated you as such, but please darling, forgive me. I cannot lose you, please. Don’t… don’t leave me’ he practically begged. He really couldn’t lose you. He just wouldn’t know what to do if he did, but he just knows he won’t survive it.

‘No, I must apologize’ you argued, continuing on before he could cut you off ‘My actions weren’t acceptable, but Loki… We cannot keep going on like this. I am my own person, I refuse to told what to do, let alone what I can’t. I refuse to be caged in the four walls of this flat like some treasured bird, I’m not. I will not be restrained. By some illness nor God or man. This won’t work if that is what you want’.

‘I know, I know. I-It’s not, It’s not what I want. I’m sorry but darling, I just can’t lose you. I can’t. I won’t survive it. Please, I won’t do it again, just please don’t leave me.’ He sobbed, dropping his head back down the crook of your neck and he held you in a tight embrace. You understood what he meant; you don’t think you could survive losing him too.

‘I won’t. I’m not leaving you. I would never. I'm staying’ You affirmed. You really wouldn’t, but you won’t stand being coddled to the brim.

You held on to each other tightly for a while. Just letting the others presence calm one another. Loki hidden in the arch of your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist, while you laid your head on top of his, a hand mindlessly raking trough his gorgeous locks. It proved to be comforting for the both of you, evidently.

‘I only meant to protect you’ he mumbled with a sniff out of nowhere.

‘I understand, my love. And the best I could do is promise to be safe and extra careful. I won’t take too risky missions if that gives you a peace of mind.’ You offered. You knew he only meant well and cared for your safety. You love your job but often times, it was too dangerous, even for your standards after everything. Taking fewer and safer missions wasn’t a problem. As long as you had worked to do that involved helping people, you were satisfied.

You felt him nod his head lightly at the suggestion, causing a soft smile to bloom from your lips before placing a soft kiss on the crown of his head. You didn’t see it but a small smile curved his lips as well at the feel of your lips on his skin. The touch starved part of him relishing in these small moments of affection like treasure.

Your free hand moved to caress his back when you felt how damp the fabric of his top was. The sweat he had worked up earlier still hasn’t dried and you knew how uncomfortable he would get bathing in the slightest bit of dirt, hence why you thought of getting him cleaned.

You place another kiss on his cheek before attempting to untangle yourself from him. The events of the nights had taxed the god, but you wanted to get him at least a bit clean before he fully dozed off however, as you tried to get off his loving embrace, his grip only tightened, his droopy eyes opening wide to see the commotion. 

‘Shhh, It’s alright. I just have to head out to the kitchen to check something and I promise, I will be right back my love’ you said softly to his ear, hoping his drowse would keep. He gave a tired huff before reluctantly setting you free. Your grin only grew wider, and you place a quick peck on his lips before you scrambled off the bed.

You quickly checked the kitchen to see if the kettle hadn’t burned and once assured, you left it as it was and headed to the loo to get what was needed. You took a small towel from the cupboard bellow the sink and ran it under the water to get it wet. Once it was fully soaked, you wrang the excess water from the towel and quickly grabbed a spare shirt from the wardrobe before going back to the bedroom.

The darling god had his eyes closed with your pillow once again tight in his grasp. This time, the sight made you smile. At how adorable he looked, face squashed on the cushion. You could tell how exhausted he was though, so you made haste in getting him set for night’s (hopefully) peaceful rest.

You sat beside him on the bed, the shifting of the mattress making him dare open an eye just as you were about to rouse him. He gave you that small charming smile of his when he saw you and your hand moved to cup his cheek, letting the pad of your thumb caress his now dried cheeks.

‘Can you sit up for me, luv’ you asked, leaning down to his ear. He gave you a faint nod before you sat back and helped him up. The fatigue was really getting on to him as he laid his head on your shoulder, so you made sure to finish as soon as possible to finally let him have a good night’s rest.

You gathered his hair into a pony with one hand and held it away, while the other wiped the damp cloth on the back of his neck. He flinched at the contact, having been spared a warning, you promptly apologized and moved as quickly as you could.

You wiped his face with great care, before you pulled his shirt off and threw it on the nightstand, to be put on the hamper after you were done. You wiped him all over until you deemed it enough and gave him the spare shirt. He put it on and just before you could leave the bed again, he took your hand. He gave you a pleading look that spoke volumes, and how could you resist when he gave you those doe eyes.

You gave him a soft smile, leaving the little towel beside the shirt and made your way to your spot on the bed. You got comfortable before you looked at him, staring at you with great fondness, it made you bashful yet you still opened your arms, welcoming him in to be held, which with great eager, he accepted. He laid beside you, wrapping his arms around your torso as he inhaled the scent of your hair, a welcome comfort after the course of the night.

You pulled the covers up to cover you both, but the feel of his soft lips just made you forget about everything but him, making you snuggle closer in his hold.

He had his head laid on the top of yours, his arms tied around you and your legs intertwined. An arm of yours cradled the back of his head, tangling to the roots of his inky locks while the other drew abstracts on his back. You held each other, never saying a word yet the silence was finally comfortable. A tranquil state you two could once again relish.

The silence however gave your mind room to intrude the peace, thinking of how things got to this point. From the argument, to the dismiss of each other’s presence and up until the confession after the dreadful nightmare, you admit that parts of how this ended up being the conclusion of the day, was your fault. Yes, Loki had his own mistakes in the matter, but you could have taken a point and fixed it. Why didn’t you get a grip and made the effort to make things better.  You shouldn’t ha…

A deep sigh broke you out of your trance. A squeeze, you felt you were given as arms around waist tightened and you were pulled impossibly closer to the mass holding you.

‘I can hear your gears turning, darling’ Loki mumbled, followed by a small chuckle, breaking the deafening comfort of silence. The sound was well welcomed after the tension of the day.

‘Sorry, luv. Go back to sleep’ you reply, scratching his scalp. He hummed in response, a smile pressing against your hair before a quick peck was planted on the top of your head. You grinned, closing your eyes, hoping to finally get consumed by the black oblivion that was rest.

The gentle caress on your arm helped, lulling you to a peaceful state of mind. Loki knew what helped you too.

Eventually the night drew on, painting the dark skies with stars as the two held each other, succumbing to blissful state of peace promised by slumber.

The night was a lesson for the two. To understand the other, to work out their problems and to never go to bed angry.

[marveldiaries]

TITLE: (Un)Lucky

SUMMARY: Nothing is going right today. Absolutely nothing. If you got home and found that your entire world had gone to shit, you wouldn’t be surprised. But you do get home, and the world doesn’t fall apart, and a handsome gentleman knocks on your door in a moment that you need him most.

WORD COUNT: 3245

A/N: unedited; i’ve been having some bad days and thought that if anyone else was, too, they might like to read!! much love x 

Perhaps it should have been a sign. There’s always signs, or omens, or stupid fortune cookie slogans inside plastic wrappers that forecast the day. Or perhaps the stars and the planets just weren’t aligned the way they were supposed to be, and this was just a typical bad day for your star sign (or moon sign, or whatever sign, really). Either way, everything was so very wrong.

If anyone had told you that you’d wake up in the morning to a broken coffee maker, which by the way, was working perfectly fine a mere 24 hours before, you would have planned ahead. You would have redownloaded the Starbucks app, or you would have gotten up a whole 10 minutes earlier to walk down the street for a cup. But no, no one thought to inform you, and no fortune cookie from your takeout the night before foretold these events. So, you awoke to a broken coffee machine and an irritability meter that continued to fill with every second that passed you by.

By the time you were done getting ready for your day, you were pissed at the world, and more importantly, at your lack of caffeine. However, anger does tend to drive a person through life full-throttle, so you were somewhat pleasantly surprised to find time to get some coffee at your local cafe. You were not pleasantly surprised to find that the coffee they gave you was far too sweet, and the second one they offered in compensation wasn’t even coffee. Now, typically, you could be patient. You knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of irritability and impatience, but the ticking of the clock made it so painfully obvious that you were now running exactly 7 minutes behind schedule. When the manager of the store, Andrew, you believed his name was, apologized for the newest trainee’s mistakes, you wanted to be sweet, you wanted your smile to be kind. But god you were pissed, so the tight lipped smile and gritted acceptance of the apology was unfortunately all you could muster. You were handed the correct coffee two minutes later, and then you swiftly turned on your heel to exit.

Luck clearly was not going to be on your side this day.

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[marveldiaries]

REQUEST: “Angst to Fluff Tom x reader: when having some spring-cleaning done, she finds a paper from her schooldays. The lesson was to capture a certain feeling and put them to writing - so she chose to do a suicide note. Smiling, she remembered getting an A, for ‘her emotional description of a soul in suffering.’ Leaving it on the bed, she goes up the attic to proceed. Later Tom comes home, calling but gets no answer and finds reader’s letter.”

TITLE: The Letter

WORD COUNT: 2544

AUTHOR NOTES/WARNINGS: mentions of suicide, please do not read if the topic makes you uncomfortable!!! @scorpionchild81​ thank you so much for the request and i’m so glad you’ve enjoyed my work so far!!! I tried my hardest to write it the way you described so fingers crossed that it’s what you wanted. ♡  i hope you enjoy this :) x (AO3 LINK)

Dust floated around the air like glitter after a child’s birthday party. Both were not fun to inhale or clean up. Your hands flailed in front of your face, hoping to get the particles as far from your nose as possible. This clearly didn’t work as you turned your head away, a fit of coughs attacking you to show that your attempts were not successful. Stepping down from the small step stool, you decided that the dusting would just have to wait until you finished organizing the mass of random items you had collected over the years.

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