Marvel Masterlist | Misc Masterlist | Tati | she/her | 30s | i reply from @marvelettesassemble | fic recs | library
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This story is one of my favs! I wrote it in three days on a vacation in a notebook and I just couldn't stop! Thank you so much for the rec and that you like it as much as I do! 💙
⍟ steve rogers various au fic recommendations
*all aus will be labelled *if an au starts getting a few fics then it'll be moved to a new page dedicated solely to those aus *all titles colored red are smut/18+ only **personal favorites at the moment
one shots (with an occasional two-parter)
(sex worker au) camboy!steve: i often see camboy!bucky and I LOVE THAT but yall,,, camboy!steve (@angrythingstarlight)
(soulmate au) in another lifetime: When you bought a box at a flea market you would have never guessed that it belonged to someone close to Captain America. And why was it that you suddenly knew so much about the things inside – and about Captain America? (@marvelettesassemblenow)**
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series (completed)
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series (ongoing)
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Thank you so much for including my story! 💙



✪bucky barnes fluff fic recommendations page two
find page one here
*titles in red are suggestive, smut, or 18+ but smut is not the main focus which is why it's on this list and not the smut list. please respect authors by not interacting if a minor
**personal favorites at the moment
one shots (with an occasional two-parter)
come here, i'll keep you safe. swear: reader thinks there's someone trying to break in and bucky goes to investigate there's no one trying to break in though (@inkdrinkerworld)
cat's out of the bag: how Bucky's top secret was revealed to the Thunderbolts. ft. a secret wife and Alpine. (@magicaloneandmystery)
shoulder to lean on: When you fall asleep with your head resting on Bucky's metal arm, he starts to realize he's not just a weapon (@cassiemaebarnes)
glass hours: After a series of awful dates, Bucky is fed up with the way each man leaves her bruised. He gets a call late one night and doesn't hesitate to be there for her. Something fragile blooms that night, beautiful as the first snowdrop flowers after a long winter. (@cricket-reader)
the keychain: When you asked your best friend Steve if Bucky would have liked you if you had known them before the war you didn’t know that you’d find out. Because Bucky was still alive and Steve would bring his friend back home, where you would gave anything to make him feel welcome. (@marvelettesassemblenow)**
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series (completed)
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series (ongoing)
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I started reading it before work and couldn't get it out of my head so I had to finish it on my break 😍 my fav part was that everybody had already accepted that they would end up together!
spellbound
bucky barnes 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 / 𝐭𝐰: nsfw (18+), explicit sexual content, MDNI, friends to lovers, lust spell teehee, soft Bucky, phone sex, fem reader, oral sex, unprotected sex, smut like the whole time, Mentions of overstimulation/physical discomfort, Slight dub-con but consent is still asked several times, fem!masturbation, Bucky is down bad bc that’s literally just how he is, reader is in HEAT
word count: 11k
Summary: You took the hit meant for Bucky—magic that curls under your skin like a fever, an ache that won’t ease no matter how many times you break. And the only thing that eases the fire is him.
But Bucky doesn’t know that. You try to hide it. You try to fight it. But one late-night phone call changes everything.
You come to the sound of his voice. He hears it. And he comes running.
notes: not proofread.
— reblogs comments & likes are appreciated
It started with a flash of violet light.
You’d moved without thinking—shielding Bucky the way you always did, even when he didn’t need it. Even when it meant taking a hit from a wild-eyed witch with runes etched into her skin and a smirk that promised chaos.
“Let’s see how he handles this,” she hissed, moments before you hit the ground.
Bucky didn’t hesitate. He took her down with a snarl and his knife pressed to her throat. The mission was over in seconds. Target neutralized and packed off to a top security prison. But your torment? That was just beginning.
It starts as a whisper in your blood.
Not a scream. Not a blaze. Just… a curl of warmth at the edge of your spine. A low, pulsing hum beneath your skin. You ignore it. You’ve trained to ignore discomfort. Trained to override every tremble and ache until the mission is done. But by the time Wanda drops you off at your apartment and the adrenaline fades, the whisper becomes a murmur—then a throb. An ache. A pull.
You shower. You scrub the sweat from your skin, the grit of combat, the smell of blood and magic and burnt leather. The water runs hot and clean down your back, but you’re already too warm.
You sleep without covers that night, sticky and restless, pressing your thighs together without thinking. And it doesn’t stop.
-
The next morning, the hunger is worse. It’s not pain— not yet. But it’s something unfamiliar.
It begins in small betrayals. You wake slowly, your sheets twisted around your legs, skin damp and flushed despite the cool air drifting in through the cracked window. There’s a weight low in your stomach, a thrum at the base of your spine—not pain, but something… coiled. Waiting.
You brush it off. Roll out of bed. Try to move like normal.
But the floor is cold under your bare feet, and still, your skin feels too warm. Over-sensitive. When your cotton shorts brush your thighs, your breath catches. The fabric is too much and not enough all at once.
You try to think about breakfast—maybe eggs, maybe toast—but instead your mind veers off-course. Not toward food, but toward heat. Mouths. Hands. Pressure. You blink, startled, as the image of someone pressing you into the mattress flashes behind your eyes. Of him. You shake it off as just being tired. Maybe a little lonely, not having had any physical affection in so long from anyone other than Wanda’s occasional hugs or Yelena’s random cuddles. Or maybe just unmoored from the mission.
You drag yourself toward your dresser and start to get dressed, planning to head to the Tower for a morning workout. The tank top you pull over your head clings to your chest like it’s painted on. The brush of fabric against your nipples makes you flinch, making them grow hard, leaving your breath stuttering. You check the thermostat—it’s not hot in your apartment. So why are you sweating?
Your leggings feel like a second skin—too tight, too suffocating. You try to roll the waistband down for air, but even that feels like friction in the wrong way. A pulse starts between your thighs. Low and subtle. But constant.
You strip again. Pace the room. Try to focus.
But even simple things feel off. You reach for your water bottle and your hand shakes. You bend to tie your shoe and the pressure in your belly shifts, flaring in a strange, slick ache. You stand too quickly and your head spins.
You glance at your phone—Bucky sent a text at 2 a.m., some sarcastic remark about Sam snoring—and your mouth goes dry. Just seeing his name makes something twist low inside you. A heat that makes no sense for the situation.
You close your eyes and inhale.
You should head to the gym. You need to sweat it out. But the idea of moving—of being around other people, especially Bucky—makes your skin crawl and your thighs clench. You feel like you’re vibrating out of your skin. Like something inside you is waking up and demanding to be touched.
You sit on the edge of the bed, heart thudding.
You try not to name it yet. You try not to think of the word spell.
But the whisper in your blood grows louder.
-
Hours later, you’re lying flat on your back and thinking about your own hands. About how little they’ve helped.
You try. Of course you do. You shove your fist under your pillow and ride it. Try to make the heat, the ache, go away. But the orgasm is fleeting, thin, unfulfilling. As soon as it peaks, it leaves you raw—edged. Empty. And then the ache returns, worse than before. It’s never satiated— a demanding presence.
You don’t want Bucky to see you like this.
So when he texts—
[you good? swingin by with takeout in 10.]
—you don’t answer. You don’t dare.
When he knocks, you stay frozen on the couch. The cool leather sticks to the backs of your thighs. Your fingers twitch. You’re sweating.
He lets himself in anyway with a key that you regret ever giving him.
“Hey,” he says like he always does. Like it’s not different now. Like your world isn’t quietly coming apart faster than your could spread your thighs. “You forget how to text me back?”
You don’t look at him. You can’t. Not when just hearing his voice sends your nipples tight against the inside of your tank top. Not when his scent—soap and cologne and whatever the hell else makes him smell like home—hits you like a drug.
Your reply is tight. Muted. “Didn’t sleep.”
He softens. Steps closer. “You hurt from that spell yesterday?”
You flinch. “No.”
That’s not a lie. It’s not hurt. It’s something else. A gnawing heat. A tension in your muscles that won’t let go.
His eyes scan your face. You know that look. The one he used to wear when you came back from field ops barely able to walk. The one he wore when you had the flu. The one he wore when someone so much as looked at you sideways in a briefing.
Protective. Focused. And far too perceptive.
“Wanda said you took the brunt of that hit and that she didn’t know what kind of magic it was,” he murmurs. “You sure you’re not—?”
“I’m fine,” you snap.
The silence stretches.
His brows twitch. But he lets it go.
For now.
-
By that night, it’s worse. And you have a sneaking suspicion it has to do with how close in proximity he was to you.
You lie in bed after he leaves, sweating through your sheets. You’ve tried everything. Toys. Fingers. Cold showers. Heating pads. Breathwork. You come again and again—softly, roughly, desperately—and it doesn’t help.
Each wave crests and crashes and leaves you more wrung out, more sore, more burning than the last.
And still, it lingers. That deep, low heat in your belly. That flutter in your chest. That unbearable throb between your legs that no orgasm can reach.
It’s not normal.
It’s not right.
By day three of avoiding your friends, avoiding leaving your apartment or responding to texts, you wake up crying. Not from sadness. But from want.
And then you crack. Not from the pain, but from the way your mind won’t stop conjuring him.
The sound of Bucky Barnes’ voice. The pressure of his vibranium hand at the small of your back. The way he once called you sweetheart when he thought you were sleeping.
It wasn’t sexual then.
But it is now.
Every touch he’s ever given you replays in your head like fuel to a fire you can’t control. The weight of his hand on your shoulder. The brush of his thigh against yours under the briefing room table. The way his fingers always lingered when he patched you up—rough but reverent.
You want him.
Okay.
You’ve always wanted him.
But not like this. Not when your body’s been cursed to crave him. Not when magic is what’s tipping you toward ruin.
-
Wanda comes on day four.
She doesn’t knock. Just appears in your living room like mist, her eyes glowing faintly red.
The moment she sees you—curled on the couch in one of Bucky’s old hoodies that you don’t think he knows you took, legs tucked up under you, trembling—her expression falls.
“Oh no,” she says.
You don’t answer. You can’t. Your voice is hoarse from moaning into your pillow the night before, just to try and quiet the ache.
Wanda kneels in front of you. “I should’ve come sooner.”
You laugh, but it’s not funny. It’s cracked. Sharp. A little unhinged. “That bitch cursed me, didn’t she?”
“I’ve been looking into it. She laced the spell with something old,” Wanda says gently. “Something primal. For whoever it hit, it was designed to mimic heat. Not just lust. Fertility. Desire. But with you? It’s the instinct to—”
“To be filled,” you finish bitterly.
She doesn’t deny it.
“But it doesn’t mess with your head,” she clarifies. “It doesn’t make you want someone you don’t already want. It’s not that kind of magic. What you’re feeling—what your body’s craving—is raw, biological instinct. But the who? That’s all you.”
You go still.
“I can break it,” she continues. “But it’s woven deep. It’ll take time. A few more days, maybe a week at most. Until then…”
“I just suffer?” you whisper.
Wanda exhales. “There’s another way, but you’re not going to like it. If someone finishes inside you—”
“No.”
“You could ask Bucky—”
“No,” you say again, firmer this time. Like it’s the only boundary left you can still enforce.
Wanda’s eyes narrow. “You’re already thinking about him. Don’t lie.”
You drop your gaze. Shame heats your cheeks—but not because she’s wrong. Because she’s right.
“The magic isn’t clouding your judgment,” she says softly. “She aimed it at him, sure. You stepped in, you took the hit. But your body’s not reacting to him because of the spell. It’s reacting because it knows. Because to you, it’s always been him.”
You swallow hard.
“I don’t want to be a fucking spell casualty,” you mutter. “I don’t want to be some needy mess crawling into his lap just because—”
“Then don’t,” Wanda says. “But at least be honest with yourself. You’re not considering anyone else. Not Steve. Not Sam. Not a single name, not a single option. Just him. And the only reason you’re not begging for him is because you’re terrified it might mean something more.”
You clench your jaw. “I won’t ask him.”
Wanda nods once.
Then, almost gently, she says, “You must not forget that the only person more stubborn than you is Bucky.”
And then she leaves you to the fire.
-
It’s evening when you finally, finally break.
The blinds are drawn. The apartment is dim, lit only by the flicker of the TV you’re not watching. You’re curled on the couch with your knees drawn up, a throw blanket pooled around your hips. But you’re not cold.
You haven’t been cold in days.
Your skin is dewy with sweat, flushed and hypersensitive. Every inch of you aches. Your body is too much—too heavy, too warm, too desperate. You can’t think. You can’t rest. You can’t take the edge off no matter how many times you try.
And you’ve continued to try. Your vibrator’s completely dead. Your fingers are sore. You’ve sobbed through orgasms that haven’t brought even a second of peace. And it’s so much worse now. The spell is tightening around your ribcage, your lungs, your throat. And the worst part? It’s not even just physical anymore.
It’s lonely.
You miss him.
And maybe that’s what finally pushes you over the edge.
Not the ache. Not the hunger that gnaws at you from the inside. Not the cruel, unbearable need to be filled. But the silence. The absence. The knowledge that while you’re avoiding him for dear life, Bucky Barnes is out there somewhere— maybe laughing with Sam, or holding Alpine on his chest while he relaxes against his couch cushions— probably doing just fine while you burn for a curse that was meant for him.
You need to hear his voice.
You don’t plan it. Don’t let yourself think it through. You just reach for your phone and call him. Before you can second-guess. Before you can stop yourself.
It rings twice.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he answers, warm and easy. That voice, like melted steel wrapped in velvet, like home. He doesn’t know you’re shaking. Doesn’t know you’re wrecked. He just says it like he always does—like he means it.
Your breath catches. It’s instant, the way your body reacts—your thighs clench, slickness blooming between them like you’ve been touched. All he’s done is speak. All he’s done is say hello.
“Hi,” you whisper.
You can hear noise behind him—other voices, dishes clattering, the low hum of a TV.
“You okay?” he asks, instantly attuned. “You sound a little—”
“Tired,” you cut in. “Just… tired.” You try to sound normal, but it comes out thinner than it should—fragile and tight, like you’re holding something back.
Because you are.
“You sound kind of off,” he murmurs, slower now. “But I won’t push it.”
“Thanks, Buck.” You whisper. You press your palm to your chest, trying to keep it together, trying not to let his concern unravel you. His voice shouldn’t sound this good. His care shouldn’t make you ache harder. But it does.
And he keeps going—gentle, teasing, unaware he’s pouring gasoline on a fire. “Missed your voice today. Thought you were ghosting me.”
You hum—half a sound, half a moan. It slips before you can catch it, but Bucky doesn’t seem to notice.
You close your eyes and inhale. You’re not ghosting him— you’re starving for him.
“Missed your voice,” you say before you can stop yourself. Your hand is already slipping beneath the blanket, already finding the edge of your sleep shorts. Your fingers are trembling.
You don’t want to be doing this.
But you have to.
There’s a pause on the other end of the line. Then a quiet chuckle. “Yeah?” His voice drops, just a little. “You’re being awfully honest tonight.”
You shiver. “Guess so.”
He sighs into the phone. You imagine him settling back, legs stretched out, maybe reclining in a chair with that lazy, boyish half-smile on his face. You can see it in your head. The way he cradles his phone in his metal hand. The way he leans his head back against the couch cushion when he talks to you.
“I can tell you’re skipping sleep just by your voice. You gotta stop doing that,” he murmurs. “You know I worry when you disappear.”
You bite your lip. Your hips roll, just a little, as you press your fingers to your clit. The pressure building between your legs has reached a new, unbearable level. And somehow, somehow, his voice is the only thing keeping you from breaking apart completely.
“You curled up on the couch right now?” he asks, still gently teasing.
You nod even though he can’t see it.
You can hear his grin. “Knew it. You better not be watching that cooking competition show without me again—”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” You say, voice a little wobbly.
He sighs—low and affectionate—and it wrecks you. You slip two fingers inside yourself, soft and slow. Slick. Aching.
“Miss you,” you add, voice barely audible.
There’s another pause—longer this time. You can hear him exhale through his nose, and when he speaks again, it’s quieter. Unsteady in a way you rarely hear.
“Yeah?” he says, rougher now. “You’re sayin’ a lot of things tonight. Are you sure you’re okay, angel?” The words shoot straight to your core.
You don’t answer.
You can’t.
Your fingers are moving inside your cunt now. Gentle, shaky thrusts. The stretch of it only makes you throb harder. Slick sounds quietly build beneath the blanket—barely audible, but not to him, you think.
“Bucky…” Your voice is barely a sound, and he catches it immediately.
“Sweetheart?” He’s more alert now. Like he’s sitting up, holding onto whatever is about to leave your lips.
And then—because of course—
Sam’s in the background.
“Who you on the phone with?” you hear faintly, followed by Bucky’s exasperated sigh.
“None of your damn business, Wilson.”
“You’re smiling like it is my business.”
You hear a scuffle. A dish being snatched. Bucky barking something about boundaries. Sam laughing.
“Your boundaries don’t change that you’re supposed to be makin’ popcorn.” You hear Sam shout.
Bucky groans. “You literally had two hours to do that yourself.” You slipped in another finger, hips canting at the sound of his groan. The tone of Bucky’s voice—normal, distracted, playful—makes you feel insane. He’s so close and so far. Your body is clenching around nothing. You imagine it’s his hand instead of yours. His voice in your ear, whispering the things you fantasize about him doing to you.
“I was in the zone, man. Movie night waits for no one.” You can hear the grin in Sam’s voice. There’s a pause. A rustle. Bucky covering the phone with his hand, probably glaring into the kitchen.
When Bucky speaks again, his voice is soft and low, just for you. Like Sam doesn’t even exist. “Sorry,” he says, quieter now. “You know Sam’s a menace.”
You breathe hard. “It’s okay.”
“You sure you’re alright?”
You swallow. Your slick fingers are working slow, barely enough. You can’t come. Not yet. Not until—
“Just…” You trail off, breath hitching. “Can you… talk to me for a while?”
Bucky stills. You don’t hear it, but you feel it. His attention sharpened again, just like it had before Sam interrupted. This is a dangerous game— you know it is. He’s a super soldier, meaning better senses, better reactions, better intuition. It’s only a matter of time before he hears exactly what you’re up to if he hasn’t already.
“You want me to talk you to sleep?” he asks, voice gentle.
You hum. “Just need your voice.”
His voice softens, all teasing stripped away. “I’d do anything for you, you know that.”
The words crack something open in you. You bite your lip hard. Your other hand clutches the pillow. You’re trying to keep quiet, but your breath is stuttering now, your thighs trembling. You speak before he can.
“Miss your hands,” you murmur, delirious and aching, fucking yourself harder. “Miss your arms. Miss how you always make me feel safe.”
He exhales, a little stunned. “You trying to kill me over the phone, doll?”
“Don’t make fun,” you plead, barely holding it together, hips snapping to meet your rhythm.
“I’m not,” he says quickly. “I’m not. I just… You sound like you need someone.”
You.
Your mind screams it. You need him.
But you can’t say it.
Your fingers move faster. The ache is peaking. His voice is all you have. And it’s perfect.
Soft. Low. Steady.
Like worship. Like he already knows what he’d say if he were inside you.
“Just breathe for me,” he murmurs suddenly. “You sound like you’re holding your breath.”
You gasp. “I’m not—”
“Yeah, you are. Breathe, sweetheart. Slow. Just like that.”
Your eyes flutter shut. Slow, you rock your hips like he said, just like that.
“That’s better,” he soothes. You let out a choked little laugh. “Soundin’ better already,” he says, and God—his tone is so fucking tender.
You almost come at that.
Your moan is soft, but it slips out you can stop it. Followed by another wet, slick sound as your fingers move faster now beneath the blanket.
And then—silence. His end of the line goes quiet.
“…Wait,” Bucky says slowly. “What are you doing?”
Your heart stops.
“Sweetheart?”
You try to catch your breath. Try to stop. But you can’t. You’re so close and it feel so good— so much better than everything you’ve done the past few days by yourself.
But he hears it. The wet glide. The tremble in your voice. The broken sighs you can’t smother anymore.
“Are you—” His voice falters. Drops low, so only you can hear. “Are you touching yourself right now?”
You freeze.
The silence stretches. Your chest rises and falls in shallow, frantic breaths. You can hear the exact moment he understands. The air shifts like a current between you. His tone turns rough—raw and wrecked and barely restrained.
“Jesus,” he breathes. “That’s what this is. That’s why you sound like that.”
You press your hand tighter between your legs, helpless, breath catching. You try to stop again. You should stop. Instead—
You arch.
The phone slips from your fingers and drops onto the couch, the line still open. You bury your face in the cushions, one hand over your mouth, the other working faster now—slipping through your slick, hips lifting, thighs shaking.
“(Y/N)?”
Then it hits.
White-hot and shattering.
Your orgasm tears through you with a muffled, broken moan—barely caught by the couch. Your body locks up, every nerve lit, your back bowing as you clench hard around nothing. You feel your fingers soaked, twitching, trembling, your lungs stuttering to keep up.
You come with his voice still in your ear, him still on the line.
And he hears it.
He hears the way your breath punches out of you. The cry you try to bite down. The slick sounds. The way you gasp his name like it hurts.
On the other end, there’s silence—then a sharp inhale.
His voice goes ragged. “…You just came.”
It’s not a question. Just a stunned, whispered truth.
“Oh my god,” he says softly. “You just came—and you didn’t say a word. You just—fuck.”
You reach for the phone, fingers still wet, hands shaking.
He’s still talking, barely coherent. “I should’ve known. I should’ve heard it. You were falling apart and I just kept talking. I—fuck, baby, why didn’t you tell me?”
You can’t breathe.
You’re too full of it—shame and heat and the unbearable emptiness that follows the high. It didn’t help. It never helps. Your body is still aching. Still burning. Still crying out for him in the echo of your release.
You press the phone to your ear.
“I thought maybe you were just tired,” he says, voice quieter now. Like he’s talking to himself. “But the way you said my name… the way you kept breathing like you were fighting something…”
You squeeze your eyes shut. Your whole body curls tighter.
You hang up. One simple movement. Your thumb presses the screen. The line goes dead and you throw the phone across the couch and curl in on yourself, mortified, aching, and trembling with the need to be filled that you haven’t finish chasing.
The silence after is deafening but all you can hear is his voice. That soft, reverent one.
The one that sounded like he’d use it while pushing into you.
The one that sounded like a prayer.
-
You hung up on him.
The click of the call dropping wasn’t loud, but it might as well have been a gunshot to the chest.
Bucky sat there frozen, the phone still pressed to his ear even as the line went dead. The quiet hum of the background faded into a kind of static silence, and for a moment, all he could hear was you.
The way your voice had trembled.
The little sighs.
The broken softness when you said you missed him. When you told him you missed his voice.
Jesus.
You had been touching yourself.
To him.
Bucky stared blankly across the room, the pieces falling into place like bricks in his gut. Your shaky breath. The way you whispered. The stuttering cadence in your voice, like you were trying not to be caught. And then—those sounds. The slick, wet ones. The ones had tried to ignore. The almost-silent moans you couldn’t fully smother.
You’d come for him. For the first time. With just his voice in your ear.
He’d thought about it for years. How he’d do it the first time. If it would be with his mouth. Or his hands. Maybe his thigh.
He didn’t breathe.
Didn’t blink.
But never like this. He’d made you fall apart and hadn’t even realized until it was over. You’d called him because you needed something—needed him—and he hadn’t understood.
Hadn’t done a damn thing to help you.
And now he was hard. Painfully hard. But the ache wasn’t just in his body—it was everywhere. It was under his ribs. In his throat. Wrapping tight around something sacred.
Because the worst part wasn’t that you’d touched yourself. It was that you were suffering. You missed him. You needed him so badly you couldn’t even pretend not to anymore. You’d called because you were unraveling. Because you trusted him enough to let it show—even if you couldn’t say it out loud.
And God help him, he wanted to be the only one you ever called like that again.
“Yo,” Sam called, stepping into the room with a half-empty bag of chips. “Everything good with your girl?”
Bucky blinked. “What?”
“You look like you just saw a ghost.”
Bucky slowly lowered the phone, thumb brushing over the screen. He should’ve called you back. Should’ve said something. But he hadn’t moved. “She called me,” he said quietly.
Sam looked amused. “She’s allowed to.”
“No,” Bucky murmured. “This was… different.”
“Different how?”
Bucky swallowed hard. Looked away. He couldn’t explain it—not fully. And he wasn’t letting anyone else know how you sounded falling apart— the way your voice had hitched just before you came. Not with the heat still pulsing in his blood or the reverence clawing at his chest.
“She sounded…” He shook his head. “Tired. Hoarse. Like she hadn’t been sleeping. But it was worse than that.
Sam pauses. “You think she’s hurt?”
“I think she’s been hiding whatever it is. For days.” He swallows hard. “She wouldn’t have called unless it was bad. Really bad.”
Sam crosses his arms, voice more serious now. “You know, now that you mention it, Wanda has been holed up with her books since that op you all just got back from. She didn’t give details—just said she was tracking a weird thread.”
Bucky stops breathing, his stomach dropping. “…What?”
Sam shrugs a little. “Like I said, she didn’t say much—just that whatever hit (Y/N) the other day was… weird. She’s been researching it since. Said it’s like some kind of residual aftereffect magic, but deep. Like nothing she’s seen in years.”
Bucky’s jaw tensed, his blood going cold.
Sam paused, brow furrowing. “You didn’t know?”
“No, I didn’t know. At least not all of that.” Bucky snaps. “That’s the problem.”
And now he’s moving. Pacing. Shoving his phone in his pocket, reaching for his jacket. Not toward you—not yet. He needs answers first.
“She didn’t even tell me,” he says, more to himself than to Sam. “She didn’t say a word.”
“She never does,” Sam says quietly. “Not when it’s about you.”
Bucky goes still. Because that’s what breaks him. Not the idea of danger. Not even the idea of magic. But the idea of you, curled up alone, body falling apart under the weight of something you didn’t choose. And still refusing to ask for help.
Still too afraid to ask him.
And so, Bucky stood. The phone slipped into his pocket.
“Where are you going?” Sam asked.
“To talk to Wanda,” Bucky said. His voice was tight. Rough. Already halfway out the door.
Because if there was even one chance that this was something done to you—something you were trying to fight off alone—then he was going to fix it.
Whatever it took.
—
The hallway outside Wanda’s quarters smells faintly of sage and scorched air.
Bucky doesn’t knock.
He pushes the door open like it’s muscle memory, like he’s been breaking through locked rooms for centuries—and finds her already standing in the center of the room, barefoot on a ring of cracked stone and wax.
She looks up the moment he enters, like she was waiting for him.
“I was wondering how long it would take,” Wanda says softly.
His hands curl into fists. “It’s a spell, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“From the mission.”
“Yes.”
“It hit her.”
Wanda nods once.
Bucky’s jaw ticks. He takes a step forward, then another. “You knew something was happening to her—and you didn’t tell me?”
“She didn’t want me to.”
He exhales, sharp and furious. “She’s suffering. Right now. Alone. Because of something that was meant for me.” He lets out a strangled laugh. “She’s mine, Wanda, and I can’t even help her.” The words fall out before he can stop them. Raw. Stupidly honest.
Wanda’s gaze softens. But she doesn’t apologize. Doesn’t argue. “(Y/N) took the hit before I could deflect it. It was cast by an old bloodline witch. Feral magic. Instinct-based. I’ve been trying to untangle it ever since.”
“What kind of magic?”
Wanda tilts her head. “You already know.”
Bucky’s breath catches.
Because he does.
The heat. The broken sighs. The way you’d whispered his name. The way his voice had made you come undone.
Wanda nods slowly, like she hears the realization pass through him. “It’s not just lust. You understand that, right?”
“I know,” Bucky says tightly. “I’ve seen magic like this once before. The Soviets tested something similar. On another soldier. Heat-based—designed to wear you down from the inside out.”
“Then you know why she didn’t want you to see her like that.”
He looks away. Jaw flexing. He does understand. The shame. The humiliation of being reduced to your body’s demands. He’s lived it. But it doesn’t make this easier.
Wanda’s expression is solemn when she speaks again. “It’s worse than what you’re describing, Bucky. It’s mimicking a biological heat cycle. Old fertility magic. And it’s dark—it taps into the most basic part of the body. The need to reproduce. But unless it’s consummated with a partner, it will only grow worse. And each time she tries to stop it herself, it’ll only hurt her more.”
Bucky flinches—more from helplessness than shock. “Jesus Christ.”
“I’ve been working on a way to break it,” Wanda adds. “But it’s not something that just lifts—not like I thought. It has to run its course, and I don’t know how long that will be unless—”
He already knows where this is going.
He shakes his head. “She wouldn’t ask me.”
“No,” Wanda says, eyes softening. “But she called you.”
His chest contracts. “You knew she would.”
“I hoped,” she replies. “Because the other way to end it? It requires the body to believe it’s been satisfied. That it’s safe. Desired. And full.”
Bucky looks like he might snap. “Don’t talk about her like that. Like she’s some fucking spell experiment—”
“She’s not,” Wanda interrupts, firm but gentle. “She’s your friend. Your partner. And right now, she’s burning alive from the inside out, trying not to tell you what she needs.”
Bucky presses both hands into his temples. “She didn’t ask. She didn’t say anything.”
“She was ashamed,” Wanda says. “Because even without the spell… it’s you, James. She’s been yours longer than either of you want to admit.”
He freezes. Swallows. Looks up slowly. “…It’s not just the spell,” he whispers, unsure if he’s asking for reassurance.
“No,” Wanda says, offering it anyway, like she read his mind. “That part? The part where she thought about you? That’s all her.”
Silence blooms—quiet, dense, knowing. “You still should’ve told me before now,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair.
“You’re not the only one who loves her.”
That shuts him up.
Wanda steps forward. “She’s trying to protect you,” she murmurs. “From the spell. From what it’s doing to her. From what it wants from her.”
Bucky closes his eyes. In his mind he hears it again—your voice. The desperation in it. The soft whimpers you tried to smother. The broken little sighs that had almost made him come in his goddamn pants just from listening.
Then, he nods. Once. Sharp. Decisive.
“Then tell me how to help her.”
Wanda’s lips curve upward. Just slightly. “You already know how.”
He does know how, and he wants to be gentle. Wants to hold you. Cradle you. Stroke your hair and murmur that it’s okay. That he’s here now. That you don’t have to be ashamed.
But all he can feel is fury. Not at you.
At himself.
At the fact that he hadn’t put the pieces together sooner.
Bucky’s hand curls around the doorframe, metal fingers flexing tight enough to dent it.
Wanda watches him for a beat. “Go to her,” she says softly.
A pause.
“Before someone else does.”
He doesn’t answer.
But his heart is already halfway out the door.
-
Your apartment is dark. Not blackout-dark—but dim, and quiet, and too still.
Bucky knocks once. Then again.
No answer.
He listens. Listens hard. Enhanced hearing trained on the other side of the door. No footsteps. No rustling. Just silence and the faint sound of something flickering—maybe a muted television. Maybe the dull hum of a lamp that never got turned off.
His jaw clenches. “(Y/N), it’s me.”
Still nothing.
All he can hear is your voice cracking when you said you missed him.
You gave him a key a long time ago—for emergencies, you’d said. For the nights when the world got too loud and he needed a place to crash. For when either of you needed help and didn’t want to say it.
Usually he used it when dropping off food. Or coming over to binge your tv shows that you watch together. He’s never used it like this before. Knowing what he’s planning to do once he’s through the threshold.
He slips the key from his pocket and turns the lock the way he’s done hundreds of times before. The door creaks open—and the moment he steps inside, he knows.
Something’s off.
The air is thick. Stifling. Warm in a way that makes his skin itch, like it’s been steeping in fever. The living room is dim, the curtains drawn, a low flicker of light from the TV throwing soft shadows across the walls.
“(Y/N)?” he calls, gentle now. “It’s me.”
No answer.
His stomach sinks.
He doesn’t storm in. Doesn’t charge through like it’s a raid. He moves soft. Careful. Like if he makes too much noise, the truth might shatter.
And then he sees you—curled on the couch, knees drawn in. A throw blanket twisted around your hips. The rest of you damp with sweat, top clinging to your chest, neck glistening. You look like you haven’t slept. Like you’ve been crying.
His heart cracks.
You’re asleep—but not peacefully.
You’re writhing.
Not dramatically. Not loud. Just subtle, needy little shifts of your hips. Soft whimpers. A crease between your brows like your dreams are made of agony and want.
He steps closer.
“(Y/N),” he says gently. “Hey—wake up.”
You stir. Breath catching.
Then, barely audible, you whisper, “Bucky…” His name from your lips is enough to make him ache. He kneels beside the couch, hand hovering just above your shoulder.
Your eyes flutter open. You blink, dazed and glassy-eyed. Your cheeks are flushed. Your tank top clings to your chest, damp with sweat, nipples peaked. And when you shift under the blanket, you gasp softly—like just the movement hurts.
And when you register that he’s really in front of you, your whole body tenses.
“It’s okay,” he murmurs. “You don’t have to say anything. I just—fuck.” He drags a hand through his hair. “Wanda told me.”
Your lashes are wet, lips trembling. Still, you remain silent. “I should’ve known earlier,” he says thickly. “I should’ve recognized it.”
Your gaze drops. Shame crashes through you as you look away. “You weren’t supposed to find out.”
“Oh, so I was just supposed to go on not knowing that the spell meant for me was tearing you apart?”
You shift on the couch. The movement makes you suck in a breath—you’re soaked. Your panties cling to you, your thighs sticky with slick.
“I was handling it,” you say, thoroughly humiliated.
“Bullshit.”
“I was,” you insist, even though your voice trembles. “I didn’t ask for help. I didn’t beg. I didn’t make it anyone else’s problem.”
“You called me.”
“That was—” You falter. “That was a moment of weakness.”
“You were touching yourself, and I—”
You squeeze your eyes shut. His words shouldn’t make you ache again. But they do. Your thighs clench. Your chest rises in shallow, desperate breaths.
“You wanted me to talk you through it, didn’t you?” he says, low and rough. “That’s why you called?”
Your breath stutters. He leans closer. “That wasn’t weakness. That was you calling the one person you needed. But then you hung up,” he says, softer now. “You were embarrassed. But you shouldn’t be.”
You open your mouth. Close it again. Because you are embarrassed. Your body is burning and raw and sensitive, and he was never supposed to know.
But he’s here. Still looking at you like you’re something he’d fight the world to protect.
His hand moves, brushing a lock of damp hair away from your cheek. He’s never touched you like this. Gentle. Tender. Almost devotional.
You shake your head, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I didn’t ask you for anything.”
“You said you missed my hands. My arms. My voice.”
“That doesn’t mean I wanted this.”
“Just let me help you,” he says with a huff.
You freeze as he leans in. Slower than slow. Letting you pull away if you want to.
You don’t.
“I know what it feels like,” he says. “When your body turns against you. When everything burns and you can’t think. I’ve been there.”
A choked breath escapes you. “It won’t stop,” you whisper.
“I know,” he says, soothing you. “But I can stop it for you.”
You stare at him. And you know—deep down—you’re not just best friends anymore. Not after this. Not after the phone call. Not after he came running.
“You can’t,” Not after the way he looks at you now, like you’re his.
“Why won't you let me help you?”
Your hands fist in the blanket. “Because it’s you, Bucky.”
He doesn’t speak. Doesn’t move. You look up, and finally let it spill—raw, messy, trembling.
“I can’t take advantage of you like that. We’re friends. Best fucking friends. I know you’d do anything for me, but I can’t let you do this because you feel like you have to.”
His eyes close for half a second. When they open again, he’s already moving—his hands cupping your face, gentle, reverent, trembling slightly.
“You think I would do something like this out of obligation?” His voice is low. Rough. Cracking under the weight of it. “You really think I wouldn’t want you?”
Your lips part. “I don’t know.”
He breathes hard through his nose, like he’s trying to hold himself together. Then he presses a kiss to your forehead. Your cheek. Your temple. Every inch but your mouth.
His voice is a rasp in your ear, heavy with restraint. His hands slide down your arms, fingers curling around your wrists like an anchor.
“I would’ve come to you the second you asked,” he says. “I would’ve broken the fucking sound barrier to get to you. Not because of some curse. Not because you needed release. But because—”
He swallows.
“Because I’m in love with you.”
You whimper—helpless and soft and aching.
His eyes search yours. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time,” he says. “And if this hadn’t happened, I probably wouldn’t have had the guts to say it. But I need you to understand—this isn’t about the spell. This is me.”
You blink. A tear slides hot down your cheek. You shake your head, not because you don’t believe him—but because it’s too much. Too much all at once.
“I didn’t call Sam,” you whisper. “I didn’t call Steve. I could have. Wanda told me anyone I trusted would work. But I didn’t.”
“Why?” he asks, voice barely audible.
Your breath shakes. “Because I didn’t want just anyone. I wanted you.”
He stills.
Your voice breaks. “And not just because of the spell. Because I’ve wanted you since before any of this. Since before I had any right to.”
His face crumples with something that looks like both devastation and relief.
You’re crying now—quiet, overwhelmed tears you can’t stop. “I love you,” you say. “And I didn’t want to use you. I didn’t want it to happen like this.”
His hands frame your face again, thumbs brushing away the wetness on your cheeks.
“Then let it happen like this,” he murmurs. “Because I love you too. And if this is what brings it out of both of us, then fine. I’m not letting you suffer through another second thinking you’re alone. So let me help.” His voice is firm, demanding in the softest way.
You meet his eyes—glass-blue, wild with restraint—and you shatter.
“Please,” you breathe. “Please, Bucky.”
And then—finally—he kisses you.
Not a soft, testing kiss. Not something uncertain.
It’s everything.
It’s the months of tension. The whispered dreams. The nights you held back. The trust you both clung to like a lifeline. It’s him showing you. That this is love. That he’s yours.
And it doesn’t feel like a breaking.
It feels like finally, finally falling into place.
-
His mouth claims yours—slow at first, like he’s afraid of breaking the moment. But the second your fingers slide into his hair and your lips part with a soft, pleading sound, something snaps.
The kiss deepens.
He was trying. Really. Hands trembling with restraint, breath held tight in his chest, mind racing to remember that you were suffering—delicate from the spell, barely holding on. He was going to be gentle. Patient.
His hands are everywhere but nowhere near enough—palming your cheeks, sliding down your sides, skimming the curve of your waist like he’s trying to memorize the shape of you. Like he doesn’t trust this is real.
Like if he doesn’t touch all of you, he’ll wake up and it’ll all be gone.
He pulls back just an inch, breathing hard against your lips. Your back hits the couch cushions, his weight bracketing yours in seconds. His heat wraps around you like a blanket—too much and not enough all at once. His metal hand cups the back of your neck, cool against feverish skin, and his flesh palm slides under your tank top, flattening over your ribs.
He moans into your mouth as you reach for him, curling your fingers around the hem of his shirt, tugging softly. He exhales like a prayer and nods—then brings his hand to yours, guiding it, helping you pull the fabric over his head. He tosses it aside without looking.
You stare.
God.
You’ve seen him shirtless before. In training. On missions. The beach. The Tower.
But never like this.
Not with his chest rising like he’s holding back a storm. Not with the heat of his skin practically radiating off him. Not with his pupils blown wide and his lips pink from kissing you.
Your hips buck. You’re soaked. Still throbbing. Still aching. But it’s different now—sharper, hotter, charged by every inch of his body pressing into yours.
“God, baby,” he groans, pulling back just an inch, lips brushing your jaw. “You’re burning up.”
“You’re not exactly cold,” you manage, breathless. He huffs a laugh against your neck, but it dies quick. He’s too focused—senses flared out like a net, catching every tremble of your body, every gasp, every pound of your heart. He can smell your arousal—his senses are drenched in it. He can hear your pulse fluttering under your skin. Your pupils are blown. Your body’s writhing and his cock is rock hard in his jeans.
“Take this off,” he murmurs, voice wrecked, fingers grazing the hem of your tank top.
You nod and try to lift it, but your hands shake.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers, sliding it up with agonizing care. His knuckles graze your ribs, the underswell of your breasts, the valley of your spine as he peels the sweat-damp fabric away.
Your chest is bare.
His breath hitches. “Jesus,” he says softly, reverently, like he’s witnessing something holy. “My beautiful fucking girl.”
Your heart pounds. Your body burns. But his touch is slow. Steady. Not rushed.
He drags the blanket down next, inch by inch, revealing the rest of you—your soaked panties, your trembling thighs. His metal hand is cool where it brushes your hip. The other, warm and wide, settles just above your knee.
You bite your lip, hips shifting, eyes fluttering open to meet his. “Bucky—”
“You’ve been like this for days?” He asks, voice ragged.
You nod, ashamed. “It won’t stop. I try, but—”
“Don’t,” he interrupts gently. “Don’t apologize. Not when I’ve got you now.” He kisses you again, slower this time. Deep. Lingering.
His mouth tastes like the end of every bad dream you’ve ever had. Like the answer to the ache that’s been devouring you for days. He doesn’t kiss like someone trying to take—he kisses like someone who’s been starving to give.
His tongue traces the seam of your lips and you open to him, moaning when he deepens it. His hand on your ribs slides higher—over the swell of your breast. His thumb flicks over your nipple and you whimper, arching into him.
His hand smooths up your thigh. He watches the way your body shudders under him, the way you arch instinctively into his touch. His voice lowers, deep and full of awe. “You should’ve called me,” he murmurs into your mouth. “First night. I’d have been here in seconds.”
“I didn’t want anyone else. Just you. Even if I wasn’t supposed to.”
Bucky’s jaw tenses. “Don’t ever think you’re not supposed to want me,” he growls, brushing his nose down the column of your neck. “I ache for you. I’ve wanted you in ways I can’t say out loud. I dream about you. I wake up hard just from hearing your voice in my head.”
You gasp—quiet, desperate.
“I think about how soft you’d feel,” he whispers, “how you’d sound when I finally touched you right. How you’d look with your thighs spread and my name on your tongue.”
Your back arches. His hand skims over your center through the soaked cotton. You keen.
“Oh, baby,” he groans. “You’re soaked.”
“It won’t stop,” you sob. “I can’t—I need—”
“I know,” he whispers, and presses a kiss just above your heart. “I’ve got you.”
Then—slowly, reverently—he hooks his fingers into the band of your panties.
“Can I take these off?”
You nod.
He doesn’t rush.
He slides them down with shaking hands, like he’s unwrapping something sacred. The moment you’re bare to him—truly bare—he stills. Just for a second.
Soaking you in.
Burning it into his memory.
Then he moves, kissing your hip, the inside of your thigh. His mouth reverent. His hands hungry. His voice a wrecked, broken whisper against your skin.
“You’re not just my best friend,” he says, brushing his lips across your belly. “You’re my everything. And I’m gonna take care of you.”
You whimper, eyes glassy, chest rising and falling in short, frantic bursts.
“Say it again,” you plead.
He looks up, mouth hovering just below your navel. “What?”
“That you love me.”
His eyes burn.
“I love you,” he says. “I love you, I love you, I love you. I’ve loved you since the first time you patched me up and called me an idiot for bleeding on your floor.”
You choke on a laugh. Then a sob. Then a moan as his mouth dips lower—hot, hungry. His tongue drags up your folds, flicking over your clit with slow, devastating precision. You cry out, hips lifting.
“Easy, doll,” he murmurs, voice like honey between your thighs. “Let me take my time.”
You whimper, fingers fisting the sheets as he anchors himself between your legs like he’s not moving until you break. His hands slide under your thighs, spreading you open further, holding you down. Holding you together.
Or maybe apart.
He groans as he noses deeper, tongue dragging slow, wet circles through your slick. He moans at the taste—deep, guttural—and does it again. And again. Until your legs start to tremble.
Until your body forgets what shame feels like.
Until all you know is him.
“You’re so sweet,” he groans. “So fucking wet. You’ve been aching for days and you still taste this good?”
Your hips jerk. He smiles against you. Then his mouth opens fully—sucking your clit into the heat of him, tongue laving back and forth with maddening control. He groans like he’s starving, and you realize suddenly—
He is.
He’s devouring you. Savoring you.
And he’s not stopping.
You gasp, the sound ragged. One of your hands finds his hair, tugging hard as your thighs try to close around his head, but he just growls—low and dangerous—and spreads them wider with his shoulders.
“Bucky,” you moan. “Fuck—Bucky, I can’t—”
“You can,” he says, licking a stripe from your entrance to your clit. “You’re gonna come for me, baby. You’re gonna come until it stops hurting.”
Your body convulses beneath him as he dips his tongue inside you, slow and deep, fucking you with his mouth, his nose brushing your clit every time. You sob out something incoherent. He keeps going. Keeps drinking from you like you’re the only thing that’s ever quenched him.
You’re writhing now. Legs shaking. Lips parted in a constant stream of moans. Every pass of his tongue sends you spiraling higher.
He pulls back just long enough to whisper, “Give it to me, sweetheart. Let go.”
Then his mouth wraps around your clit again—hot, slick, greedy—and that’s it.
You shatter.
Your whole body arches off the couch, your hands flying to his shoulders as you scream his name. Your climax crashes over you like a storm, wave after wave, your thighs clenching around his head. He groans against you, sucking you through it, tongue relentless, lips tender.
You’re still shaking when the aftershocks hit. He gentles his pace but doesn’t stop—licking you slow and soft, almost reverent now, tasting every bit of your release. Like it’s an offering. Like he’s worshiping at the altar of your body.
And then—another whimper escapes you.
Because you’re still aching. Still burning. Still not full.
“Bucky,” you cry, fat tears rolling down your cheeks. “Please.”
You’re still shaking when he lifts his head, mouth slick with you, lips flushed, breathing ragged. His eyes meet yours—and they’re dark. Wild. But beneath the hunger is something wrecked. Something sacred.
“I should’ve known. Should’ve come sooner. Should’ve—” He cuts himself off, bending to kiss your sternum, your shoulder, your neck. “I’m here now. Not going anywhere. Not leaving you like this again.” His mouth works up, licks a strip from your jaw up your cheek, swiping away your tears.
Then his hands are under you—gentle, steady—and he picks you up like you weigh nothing. You gasp, arms wrapping around his neck, your body still fluttering from the orgasm he just gave you, still soaked, still desperate.
He carries you through the apartment like a soldier carrying his girl off the battlefield—careful, urgent, possessed. You bury your face in his neck, but he can feel the heat of you against his skin. You’re still pulsing. Still aching. Still slick and wanting.
“Bedroom,” he murmurs, voice raw with restraint. “Gotta get you comfortable before I take my time with you.”
Your thighs squeeze around his waist at that, and he groans—deep, helpless. “You like that?” he mutters, half-laughing against your temple. “Of course you do. You’ve been holding all this in. Suffering. Needing me.”
His mouth presses to your cheek, your jaw, your ear.
“I’m gonna give you everything,” he swears, like it’s a vow. “Gonna take care of my sweet girl.”
Your breath hitches.
He lays you down gently on the bed—like you’re something fragile, even though every part of him is dying to be rough. To claim. But when you reach for him again, the hunger behind your eyes makes his hands tremble.
You’re shaking beneath him. Not with fear. With need.
He kisses you deep and slow, tongue stroking yours like it’s an apology and a promise. His hands roam your body—your hips, your waist, your ribs—like he’s mapping every inch, every breath, every curse-marked plea. He palms your breasts, mouth dragging down to kiss them, to taste sweat and skin and desperation.
“You’re still burning,” he murmurs against your chest. “Still so fucking hot.”
You nod, breathless. “It hurts.”
“I know, baby.” He looks up at you, gaze filled with guilt and devotion. “But not for much longer.”
His hand slides between your thighs again—just to feel. Just to make you shiver.
“You’re soaked,” he groans. “So fucking ready for me.”
And still—he waits.
He leans up. His forehead rests against yours.
“I need you to tell me,” he murmurs. “No spell. No instinct. Just you. Do you want this?”
You don’t even hesitate.
“I want you,” you whisper. “I need you, Bucky.”
He kisses you again—hot and open, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. You’re grinding up into him, your body screaming for more.
You feel the thick press of him through his jeans again, and your mouth waters.
“Take them off,” you plead. He strips in seconds, and then he’s above you—naked, hard, huge. Your eyes go wide.
“You’re—”
“Big,” he finishes with that boyish, crooked grin that makes your heart flutter. “Yeah.”
Your thighs part instinctively, you swallow hard. “I can take it.”
“You will,” he kisses your temple. “You’re my good girl, afterall.” His cock is thick and flushed and so hard, resting against your slick folds as he grinds once—slow, teasing. You moan, body arching, craving more.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers. “Gonna take it slow. Let you feel all of me.”
And then—
He lines himself up. Presses in.
The first inch is unbearable. Bucky groans—loud, guttural—as the tip pushes past your entrance. You’re so wet he slides easily—but you’re tight, still fluttering from the spell, from your orgasm, from the hours—days—of arousal left unfulfilled.
“You’re so ready for me,” he groans out. “So fucking wet. You’re taking me so well, baby.” You nod, eyes wide, gripping his shoulders.
You gasp, the stretch bordering on too much—but it’s everything you need. Full. Thick. Deep.
He pushes in another inch. Then another.
“F-fuck,” he chokes, clutching your hips. “You feel like you were made for me,” he pants, voice wrecked.
You dig your nails into his back. “Please. More.”
He slides deeper. And deeper.
And finally—finally—he’s fully sheathed inside you, cock buried to the hilt, your walls fluttering around him like your body knows what this is.
Like your body recognizes him.
You cry out, overwhelmed.
He holds still.
“Breathe, sweetheart,” he whispers, mouth at your temple. “I’m going to make it better now.”
And as you clutch him—arms wrapped around his back, mouth pressed to his neck—you realize the spell was never the most dangerous thing.
It was him.
His love. His mouth. His voice. His cock, buried so deep it feels like he’s in your soul.
And the fact that you’re not sure you’ll ever want to be without it again.
You’re still gasping around him, still adjusting to the fullness when he shifts—just barely—rocking his hips in the smallest, slowest motion.
Your breath hitches. Your fingers grip his arms like a lifeline.
“Too much?” he whispers, lips ghosting your cheek.
“No,” you breathe, eyes fluttering open. “No, it’s—please. Don’t stop.”
He exhales like he’s been punched in the ribs. His forehead presses to yours again. And then—
He moves.
A slow, deep pull back. Almost all the way out. And then a roll forward, sinking back into your heat like it’s the only thing that’s ever felt right. Your body welcomes him—hungry, desperate, clenching around him like your body’s known his for years.
Bucky groans and presses in deep again, grinds his hips once—slow and thick and so achingly full it nearly splits you open—and then stops. Watches your face. Studies every twitch of your lips, every flutter of your lashes, every little moan you try to hold back.
You whimper. He hums low, eyes heavy with need. “Breathe for me,” he murmurs, brushing his thumb along your cheek. “You’re holding it again.”
You drag in a breath, shaky and desperate.
“There you go,” he whispers. “Just like that. Let me take care of it.”
And then he moves again.
Not rough. Not fast. But deep. Devastatingly deep.
Each stroke rolls through you like a vow. Your body welcomes him again and again—greedy, starving—and he feeds it. Feeds you.
“Spell or not,” he rasps, kissing the corner of your mouth, “I was always gonna end up here. Inside you. Making you mine.”
Your whole body jolts with it. The way he says mine. Like a prayer. Like a curse. Like the truth he’s been carrying for years.
He pulls back slowly, dragging every inch of his cock against your trembling walls before sinking in again. Your mouth falls open in a moan.
Your arms wrap tighter around his shoulders. Your legs pull him closer. You’re trying to hold him, keep him, anchor him inside you.
His forehead drops to yours.
“You trust me, don’t you?”
You nod.
“Then give it to me,” he whispers. “Give me everything.”
You do.
You open up for him—emotionally, physically, all of it. You let go. Let him take it. Let him have you.
His hand snakes between your bodies, thumb finding your clit with practiced ease, rubbing soft, coaxing circles. “You don’t have to think,” he murmurs, “Just feel. I’ve got you.”
You sob out a moan. Your body is unraveling, and he knows it—feels it.
But he won’t let you go yet.
“Open your eyes,” he whispers, slowing his thrusts again. “I want you looking at me when I make you come.”
You blink up at him. Wet lashes. Wide eyes. Lips parted.
Bucky looks wrecked. His mouth is pink from kissing you. His jaw flexes with restraint. His body trembles from holding back.
“I haven’t had anyone like this,” he rasps. “Not where it meant something. Not where it felt like coming home.”
You blink. Tears well. He kisses one from your cheek, then thrusts slow and deep again—pressing his body to yours, burying his cock inside you until you swear you can’t take more. “But you,” he breathes, kissing your chin, your mouth, your neck, “You feel like my first.”
Your heart splits in your chest.
Your body tightens.
Your orgasm hits like a tidal wave, and you cry out—loud and desperate and shaking.
Bucky groans, holding you close, still grinding against that oversensitive spot inside you. “That’s it,” he whispers, “That’s my girl.”
You’re still trembling, barely able to catch your breath, when he cups your hips in both hands and finally lets go.
“Gonna fill you up now,” he says, voice deeper than you’ve ever heard, needier. “Need you to keep my cum inside, okay baby? Don’t let it go to waste.”
You gasp, the spell still humming under your skin, needing it.
“I wanna see you round and soft with me,” he groans, fucking you deeper, chasing his own release. “Wanna see what I put there.”
You can barely speak. Barely breathe.
But he knows.
He knows you want it. Need it.
And with a guttural moan and one final, devastating thrust—he spills inside you, hot and thick, cock buried to the hilt as he groans your name like it’s the only word that’s ever mattered.
And the moment it happens—the spell breaks.
The air shifts. It’s subtle—but unmistakable. The second he finishes inside you, the pressure lifts. The curse, the ache, the burning edge that had tormented every nerve—gone.
You feel it leave like smoke through a window. Like a fever finally breaking. Your whole body sags in relief, trembling under the weight of release. Breath hitching. Vision swimming.
Bucky doesn’t move.
Not at first.
He stays inside you, cradling your face between both hands, lips brushing your cheek as his own chest heaves. His heart is pounding. His skin is slick. He feels ruined—in the best way.
You blink up at him, dazed. “It’s gone,” you whisper. “I can breathe again.”
He exhales slowly, forehead still pressed to yours. “Good,” he murmurs. “That’s good, sweetheart.”
His thumb strokes beneath your eye. Soft. Reverent. Like he can’t quite believe you’re real.
You shift slightly under him and let out a soft sound—he’s still inside you, and the stretch is no less overwhelming now that the magic is gone. But it’s different. Less urgent. Less sharp.
More… tender.
He kisses the corner of your mouth. “Still okay?”
You nod, voice barely audible. “You didn’t let me go.”
“Never,” he murmurs. His arms wrap around you tighter. He rolls onto his side slowly, bringing you with him—keeping you close, keeping himself inside you. Your legs tangle. The blanket slips. His dog tags rest against your throat.
And he just holds you there like something sacred.
Neither of you speak for a long minute. Just breath and heartbeat and warmth. His palm skims your back, up and down, up and down. Calming you. Centering himself.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper at last.
Bucky freezes.
“For not telling you,” you clarify. “For trying to do this alone.”
He doesn’t respond with words—he just holds you closer. Lets your head rest in the curve of his neck. Kisses your temple. Your hair. Your cheek.
“I don’t want to be alone anymore,” you say softly.
“You’re not,” he promises. “You’ve got me. You always have.” A quiet sniffle escapes you.
And then he shifts his hips, almost without thinking—and you both feel it. The twitch of him, still thick and inside, still so deep in your softest places.
Your breath catches.
And Bucky groans low in your ear. “Fuck.”
“Are you…” you start.
He smirks faintly. “Baby, I haven’t had anything that good in over eighty years. My body doesn’t know what to do with itself.”
You laugh—half-shaky, half-wrecked. “You’re serious?”
“You’re still squeezing me,” he groans, voice low and frayed. “Fuckin’ perfect. Like you were made to keep me inside.”
You shiver.
He kisses your jaw, moving slow. Gentle. But not letting you go. “I need you again,” he murmurs. “Not like before. Not because of some spell.”
His lips drag down your throat. His voice deepens. “I wanna feel you now that you’re mine.”
You moan. Your hips shift instinctively, and he thrusts—just once.
It’s slower. Deeper. Hotter.
No magic now.
Just you.
Just him.
And this time, when he starts to move inside you again—every slow grind of his hips is a vow.
You’re his.
And he’s never letting go.
-
Sunlight slants through the blinds, casting sleepy stripes across the hardwood floor.
You’re perched on the counter in Bucky’s actual t-shirt—faded, soft, too big, and still warm from his body—and nothing else. Your legs dangle idly as you sip your coffee, hips aching, thighs sticky, your voice still wrecked from hours of crying out his name into the pillow… and then the mattress… and eventually his chest.
Bucky moves through the kitchen barefoot, shirtless, boxers slung low on his hips. Damp hair curling slightly from the shower he insisted you take together.
You feel the faint sting of overuse. The tenderness where his hands had gripped your hips. The low, steady ache deep inside where he stayed buried for what felt like hours—moving slow, whispering confessions into your skin like he meant to leave them there forever.
He hasn’t stopped touching you since.
Not possessive.
Just connected.
His hand brushes your knee when he passes. Fingers drift across your thigh, grazing the edge of the t-shirt you’re barely wearing. He kisses your temple when he thinks you’re not paying attention—and growls if you shift just enough to open your legs and make the shirt ride up.
“Behave,” he murmurs darkly as he passes, pausing just long enough to brush his lips along your shoulder. “You’re not seducing me before breakfast.”
You sip your coffee with a lazy smirk. “Why not?”
His eyes flick to your legs—bare, dangling, parted just slightly—and then to the curve of your mouth. “Because if I get between those thighs again, we’re not leaving the apartment until tomorrow.”
You hum thoughtfully. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It is,” he mutters, turning back to the stove with a clenched jaw and tense forearms.
You swing your legs a little, just to test him. He turns then, spatula in hand, assessing you with that signature slow-lidded look.
Something sparks behind his eyes—dark and warm and deeply, dangerously satisfied.
He tries to hide it behind a sip of his own coffee, but you catch it.
“Don’t,” you warn.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You thought it.”
His mouth twitches. “You can’t try to seduce me while limping.”
You shoot him a look over the rim of your mug. “You’re enjoying this too much.”
“Not too much,” he says seriously. “Just enough.”
You glare. He grins. Then he leans in and presses a kiss to your cheek. Your temple. Your lips.
“I meant what I said last night,” he whispers, voice brushing warm over your skin. “Spell or not—I was always gonna end up here. Making you mine.”
Your stomach flips. And you feel it again—that stupid, giddy, gut-deep ache for him that has nothing to do with magic.
He turns back to the stove, humming under his breath. His metal arm scrapes gently against the pan, eggs sizzling, toast popping. He’s domesticity incarnate—barefoot, flushed, sleepy-eyed—and the world has no business letting a man this sinful make breakfast like he didn’t fuck the spell out of you last night.
Like he didn’t split you open with slow, reverent thrusts while whispering, “Need you to keep my cum inside, okay baby? Don’t let it go to waste…”
You watch him in quiet awe for a moment, sipping your coffee. Then you sigh dramatically.
“So this is it, huh?”
He glances back at you. “This is what?”
“This is how I die. Legs too sore to walk. Drenched in sweat. Wearing your shirt. Watching my newly acquired boyfriend make me eggs like he didn’t spend all night treating me like his own personal prayer.”
Bucky snorts. “You’re so dramatic.”
You swing your legs. “I’m just saying—if I start cleaning up around here and folding your laundry, it’s not because I’m being helpful. It’s because I’m nesting.”
That gets him. He huffs a laugh but doesn’t turn around.
You keep going. “I mean, this has all the signs. Mind-blowing sex. Shared shower. Domestic morning-after. You kissed my forehead and made me breakfast. We skipped like eight stages. If this were a sitcom, the next episode would be a wedding.”
You pause. Then, innocent and teasing, you ask, “Are we married, Barnes? Did I skip a few episodes?”
Now he turns. One brow raised, spatula hovering mid-air. “You want a ring?”
You tilt your head, still teasing. “Don’t you?”
He stills—just for a moment. His expression shifts. Something flickers behind his eyes, too real to be a joke.
Then he sets the spatula down.
“I already bought one.”
Your breath catches. “…What?”
He shrugs—casual, devastating—but his ears are turning pink.
“A while ago,” he mutters. “Kept it in my pocket like a damn fool for months before finally putting it somewhere safe. You were still just my best friend, and I—”
He exhales, the rest catching in his throat. “Didn’t matter. I already knew what I wanted. I was just… waiting. Hoping maybe one day you’d want it too.”
You go still.
Your heart climbs into your throat.
“You bought a ring… before we were even together?”
He glances over. The faintest smile tugs at his lips, soft and sure. “I wasn’t gonna give it to you then. I’m not that unhinged.” He takes a breath. “Just figured… if we ever ended up here, I’d be ready.”
You blink at him. His words from earlier— “I was always gonna end up here,” replaying in your mind. You were speechless as you stared at this decreasingly handsome, scheming man. Something cracks open in your chest. The laughter dies on your tongue, but it’s not fear. It’s not panic.
It’s awe.
“…Do you have it now?” you breathe.
He smirks, and it’s all trouble and tenderness, as he leans a hip against the counter like the world isn’t tilting. “Don’t worry about it”
“Can I see it?” You ask, grinning.
“Finish your coffee.”
“James Buchanan Barnes—”
“I’ll wait,” he says, quiet and certain, brushing a kiss to your temple. His thumb grazes your jaw, soft and steady, like a vow he’s already made a hundred times.
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Thank you so much! I'm so happy you enjoyed this!! 💙
Losing Composure
Pairing: Steve x Femal Avenger Reader
Summary: Losing a bet with Bucky you had to wear a USO girl costume to deliver something to Steve. Steve lost his composure and suddenly things went awkward
Word Count: ~3.3k
Warnings: the media isn’t nice to reader, anxiety on Bucky’s part, blood and detailed description of nose bleeding, kiss cam, emotional exhaustion
A/N: I’m currently writing on a modern AU Bucky mini series and while I really like my Steve there (it’s Steve, I will ALWAYS like him) it reminded me that I had started this piece and I finally finished it. I’m sorry, Steve!
“I hate you so much, Barnes,” you mumbled and tried to pull the dress a little bit more down before you entered the communal kitchen where you knew you target would be. You didn’t dare to look up until you stood in front of him and tipped his shoulder and tried to ignore the other people in the room.
“I have a special delivery for our savior Captain America,” you said in a not so enthusiastic voice and put your hand on your forehead in a salute. Nothing could’ve prepared you what happened next. If someone would have told you that Steve Rogers aka Captain America would spat water in your face you would have laughed it off. But now you stood in front of him, your hand still in the ridiculous pose while you had a folder in your other hand and as you blinked water started to drip from your eyelashes to your face and onto the folder.
While you stood there still in shock as did the person in front of you, you heard loud laughter. “This was better than anything I’ve imagined,” you could hear Bucky's voice.
Steve suddenly grabbed a towel and started to wipe your face with it and held it out to you when he noticed your décolleté would have been next and even in shock Steve was still a gentleman. You took the towel from him and pushed the folder onto his chest. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know... I would have never,” his glance flew over your outfit. “What are you wearing? Not that you aren’t allowed to wear what you want, but...” Steve started to ramble and was afraid he had dug his own hole.
“Ugh this stupid bet I had with Bucky,” you mumbled while you still tried to get rid of the wetness.
“Hey, do you know how long it took me to find an USO girl costume?” Bucky chimed in with laughter still in his voice.
“Not long, because the texture is awful,” you rebutted and he admitted that it didn’t take him five minutes. “If you excuse me, I still have some deliveries to do,” you turned around and walked out of the kitchen. Steve stared after you until he remembered the folder in his hand. On it was a big print that said confidential and when he opened it he saw only one piece of paper which said “you’re welcome, punk”. He turned to Bucky who just winked at him.
“Well, you could have handled that smoother,” he said and Steve slapped the back of his friend's head before he left the room. He didn’t know where to go, the only thing he knew was that he couldn’t handle Bucky's comments right now.
“Are you sure you are okay?” Steve heard you asking Bucky for probably the fourth time since you had started your trip.
“I'm okay, you can stop your mother hen mode now,” Bucky assured you and while Steve knew Bucky was annoyed, he also knew that he wasn’t really bothered. And he couldn’t help the warm feeling that was spreading through him. Your caring self was one of the things he loved most about you. And it wasn’t even that you were on your way to a mission or anything like that, you were just making a trip to town, but you knew that Bucky got quickly overwhelmed by the amount of people around him.
“Here, hold my hand and squeeze if it gets too much,” you offered and Steve noticed the quick glance Bucky sent his way before he grabbed your offered hand.
“You have a second hand, can I hold it? Or would you rather like it, if Steve would step in?” Sam said and wiggled his eyebrows.
“Or I could use my free hand to punch you in the face, what about that?” you said coolly and Bucky chuckled.
“Nah, I don’t think you will,” Sam said confidentially, but Steve noticed that he left some space next to you.
Maybe your reaction was a little harsh, but the teasing you had to endured since your lost bet was immense. The video of Steve spitting water over you had been going around a lot and you wanted to punch whoever had shown Bucky how to make a meme. You though it had been Sam so the punch would serve for two purposes.
But if you were embarrassed it was nothing close to how Steve felt! He was the one who had lost control over his body. A mission with too many opponents to count? No problem. Jumping from a plane without a parachute? His heart would beat a little faster but that would be it. But seeing you in that outfit had caused his body to start sweating, his heart to beat faster and his brain to turn off for a second, hence the embarrassing moment.
Steve was actually glad that the teasing had turned down this day and was replaced with excitement for the baseball game you were about to watch. He just wanted to enjoy this little trip with his childhood friend, his new found friend and of course you.
You and Bucky were in front with Sam and Steve trailing behind. After the security check you split up, while you and Sam decided to use the bathroom before the game him and Bucky would get snacks and drinks. Steve had problems holding everything in his arms and avoiding a collision with other fans while he waited for the two of you.
You almost walked into him when you tried to avoid a very enthusiastic fan, but luckily Sam caught the cup which was about to fall from Steves arm. “Oh no, we don’t want you spilling your drink over her again, right?” he smirked and took a sip from the cup while you groaned and Steves face changed its color.
The four of you managed to get to your seats without much trouble. You had told the three guys they were looking stupid with their disguise as they were all wearing caps and now that you sat on your actual place between Steve and Bucky, you saw that a lot of people had caps on their heads. You squinted your eyes when the sun shone directly in your face. Steve noticed your distress and placed his cap on your head.
“Thank you,” you said with a bright smile and looked in his direction. Steve who was busy looking at you and replied with a “it isn’t a problem, honey” didn’t saw Bucky and Sam looking at each other with raised brows. They too noticed that the nickname was new.
“I have no clue about baseball,” you admitted just a little bit before the game started.
“Why did you come then?” Sam asked with his mouth full of food and you handed a napkin over Bucky towards him, but he didn’t get the hint.
“Because I also wanted to go out and wanted to have a nice afternoon,” you defended yourself and you left the part out that you joined because you knew how big of a baseball fan Steve was.
“Don’t worry, I’ll explain everything to you,” Steve offered immediately and took you out of the spotlight.
Steve stayed true to his word (as if you had expected anything less) and you had to admit that you enjoyed it. You didn’t know if it was the sport or if it was Steve’s enthusiasm while explaining that swept over to you. Bucky chimed in here and there and before you knew it the break was there.
“Oh, the Kiss Cam,” you laughed and took the last sip of your now warm drink.
“Just to make it clear, if it lands on us I’m not kissing Bucky. I can already imagine the headlines,” Sam was munching on a pretzel now that he had managed to get.
“Did you also noticed that his only problem is the headline and nothing about the kiss,” you whispered to Steve and he let out a light chuckle. And as if Sam had provoked it the cam landed on the four of you and the commentator announced that some of the avengers were at the games. Steve waved awkwardly at the camera.
“Oh that’s not what a kiss cam is for,” Sam announced and started to crawl over Bucky, who started to complain. He kissed your cheek and went back to his place. “Told you I wouldn’t kiss Barnes. This is how you do it, Rogers,” he said and went back to eating his snack. You were about to turn towards Steve but were surprised when suddenly lips landed on the cheek that Sam had just kissed. Before you could comprehend that Bucky had just kissed you publicly (and grabbed your hand afterward, probably because he only felt overwhelmed when he noticed how many people were watching him then) another pair of lips were pressed onto the other side of your cheek, dangerously close to your lips.
The skin there started to tingle and before you could comment on anything that had just happened fans stood in front of you asking for a picture with Captain America. Soon enough you were taking photos for fans and when someone asked for a photo with the four of you and Steve threw one long arm around your shoulder you couldn’t help to feel like there were butterflies flying in your stomach.
You weren’t a fan of press conferences, never were, but after an accident a few months back you didn’t attend them anymore. You knew that it had to be done, but standing in the spotlight and having to explain why you acted a certain way was not your idea of fun. But when one reporter started to ask you questions about your suit and underwear you weren’t sure if you should become angry or if you shouldn’t say anything at all.
Before you could even say anything about it Steve had exploded. Calm, collected Captain America stood in front of the press and gave them a piece of their mind how they dared to be so disrespectful. It had shocked not only the reporters, but also you and some of the other team members attending. Steve had ended the press conference then and stormed off the stage.
So he was more than surprised when he stood dressed in a black suit in front of many cameras and the door flew open with you sprinting towards him, his shield and stealth suit in your arms. “You have to change, we have a situation right now,” you said once you were in a hearing range. He took the suit from your arms and left the shield where it was, turned around and followed a guy pointing towards a room.
It didn’t take long for him to change into his other suit, he had slipped it on more than he could count. You were waiting outside in one hand the shield in the other his helmet. “What are we up against?” he asked once he stepped out of the room and strapped his helmet on.
“Inhuman activity in the city. Sam, Tony, Vision and Rhodey are already on their way, the rest of us is picking you up. We weren’t quite sure what we were facing so we decided we should be all on board,” you informed him while walking next to him and gave him his shield.
“Thanks,” he said once he secured it and followed you to the jet.
In hindsight it was good that you had picked up Steve. There were no big injuries in the team, but the buildings had taken a lot of damage. And the super soldiers came kind of handy to pick up the rumbles and free the civilians. It was exhausting: first the fight, then the rescuing and the emotional side finally caught up with you. You sat down on a staircase after calming down a kid and bringing him back to his mother.
“Are you okay?” Steves voice caused you to raise your head from your hands.
“Yeah, I just needed a moment to breathe,” you admitted. He sat down on the step next to you and placed the shield in front of you. “I feel like the people forget it isn’t only the fight against what comes our way. There are always casualties and it’s not like you can shrug and say ‘well I can’t change a thing now’. There are always the thoughts late at night if I could have been faster could something like that be avoided and it’s just... it’s draining, Steve,” you admitted.
“I know,” Steve put an arm around your shoulder and you pressed your head against his chest. “But you can’t forget the other side. What about the ones that we rescued?”
“Yeah, I know. Let’s just stay like this for a minute, okay?” Steve nodded and you felt the movement and then he placed his head on yours. His hand still caressing your arm. He waited for you to let go of the hug first. “Okay, let’s get back to work,” you said and held out your hand for him to take and to help him up, although you both knew he didn’t need it. He took it anyway.
The next Mrs. America?
We don’t know much about the private life's of the Avengers, especially Steve Rogers aka Captain America isn’t known for being very open about his personal life. But is there a woman by his side that we all know? Pictures speak louder than words. As you can see on the picture shown above the Captain has thrown his arm around his fellow Avenger after the battle on last Tuesday and they look very intimate. The shield the government has him provided is lying carelessly on the ground.
Before that a press conference with Captain America was interrupted by said woman who walked in holding his shield. Have we ever seen the shield in the hand of anybody else than him? No. So there must be a deeper connection between them. Also we can’t forget about the fact when he lost his calm facade the last time she was asked a question at a press conference which was ended by him afterwards.
We can’t wait to see what happens next and hope that Captain America won’t forget about his country because of a woman.
“This is bullshit,” you exclaimed when you put away your tablet. You couldn’t bring yourself to read the rest of the article.
“I’ve carried and used the shield in a battle,” Natasha said.
“It also wasn’t the government who gave it to him,” Tony scoffed.
“And I’m not the next Mrs. America,” you put in.
“Well you could be,” Bucky said from the side.
“What?” You turned around to look at him.
“I don’t think Steve is opposed to the idea,” Bucky shrugged.
“Steve would also never forget about his country and I hope he never has to read this bullshit.” You were glad that he was currently on a mission with Sam.
“The picture is cute, though,” Nat said. Well, she was right, but you wouldn’t admit that out loud.
After the article dropped you distanced yourself from Steve a little bit more and completely when you were in public. Of course Steve had seen the article, but the two of you didn’t discuss it.
So when you were at the next charity event you still kept your distance. It was a volleyball match and the Avengers had their own team. To make it fair it only consisted of people without super strength that meant Steve and Bucky were sitting on a bank as moral support while you, Sam, Nat, Tony and Wanda made your way over to the field.
“This is getting ridiculous, Steve! How long will you avoid her?” Bucky asked when the team was out of earshot and it was only him and his friend.
“It’s just this stupid article. It really hurt her feelings and it wasn’t professional from me to explode and,” he started but Bucky interrupted him.
“Stop it. The article was bullshit. And it was absolutely disgusting that they asked her that question. You’re just human and wanted to protect her, I get it. But stop avoiding her. You were the one telling me that I shouldn’t give any fuck,” he got a gaze from Steve that told him he should watch his language, “about any articles about me. Maybe you should listen to yourself.”
Bucky turned around and watched the players now who greeted each other. It was a mix of people that neither Steve or Bucky really knew. Some kid was a singer or something like that and was a bit starstruck to meet Black Widow. The game started and as neither of the teams were professional volleyball players it looked that way. But the Avengers were competitive people – especially Natasha and Tony and so it wasn’t really a surprise that you won the first game.
The second round was a bit harder and when you were two minutes into the game you didn’t see the ball coming your way as the sun was blinding you. Your head was pushed backwards when the ball connected with your face and a second later you were on the ground. When you weren’t up again a few seconds later Steve was up his feet and made his way to you. Natasha was already kneeling next to you and he kneeled on the other side of you. Blood was gushing out of your nose and you looked a bit dazed.
A medic was approaching but Natasha and Steve blocked her way to you and she was a bit intimidated when none of them made a move to leave your side. She held out a piece of bandage that the spy took from her and pressed it under your nose while Steve took a cooling pack and pressed it in your neck. “Are you dizzy? Do you need to throw up?” he asked you.
When they made sure you just needed to sit down for a while Steve picked you up and carried you to the benches where Bucky was waiting. He stepped in for you and he shared a gaze with Steve that didn’t slip your attention. “It wasn’t his fault Bucky,” you said while you still pressed the bandage under your nose.
“’Course,” Bucky replied and made his way on the field. Steve didn’t want to let go of you and you both didn’t fit on the bench so he sat the both of you down on the floor, him behind you and you between his legs while he still held the cooling pack and put the other arm around your torso.
“You feel better?” he asked after a while.
You hummed, too content to form a full sentence. The bleeding had stopped and you breathed through your mouth, but Steve’s one arm that radiated warmth felt too good around you. “I miss you,” you admitted then. If it was the blood loss or maybe finally being near Steve again you didn’t know what caused the admission.
And Steve didn’t know what cause it, maybe it was having you relaxed near him after such a long time, but he admitted that he missed you too. “You wanna get dinner with me tonight?” he surprised you and him.
“Just you and me?”
“Yeah, just us,” Steve whispered in your ear and his breath caressed you sweaty skin. But when it came to Steve you never felt uncomfortable even if you were covered in sweat.
“I’d really like that.” Your breath hitched when Steve lips connect softly with your skin and just then you looked at Bucky who smirked. You weren’t sure if it was because he just witnessed the kiss or if it was because he had pushed the ball into the face of the man who had hit you. But he yelled a “sorry,” over the field and winked at you.
Masterlist
divider by @fireflygraphics
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I know of at least one more that you haven't read yet, but we'll keep that for another day to surprise you 😂 you're right, poor Steve had to endure a lot of teasing! But I'm glad that you enjoyed that one! 🩷
Losing Composure
Pairing: Steve x Femal Avenger Reader
Summary: Losing a bet with Bucky you had to wear a USO girl costume to deliver something to Steve. Steve lost his composure and suddenly things went awkward
Word Count: ~3.3k
Warnings: the media isn’t nice to reader, anxiety on Bucky’s part, blood and detailed description of nose bleeding, kiss cam, emotional exhaustion
A/N: I’m currently writing on a modern AU Bucky mini series and while I really like my Steve there (it’s Steve, I will ALWAYS like him) it reminded me that I had started this piece and I finally finished it. I’m sorry, Steve!
“I hate you so much, Barnes,” you mumbled and tried to pull the dress a little bit more down before you entered the communal kitchen where you knew you target would be. You didn’t dare to look up until you stood in front of him and tipped his shoulder and tried to ignore the other people in the room.
“I have a special delivery for our savior Captain America,” you said in a not so enthusiastic voice and put your hand on your forehead in a salute. Nothing could’ve prepared you what happened next. If someone would have told you that Steve Rogers aka Captain America would spat water in your face you would have laughed it off. But now you stood in front of him, your hand still in the ridiculous pose while you had a folder in your other hand and as you blinked water started to drip from your eyelashes to your face and onto the folder.
While you stood there still in shock as did the person in front of you, you heard loud laughter. “This was better than anything I’ve imagined,” you could hear Bucky's voice.
Steve suddenly grabbed a towel and started to wipe your face with it and held it out to you when he noticed your décolleté would have been next and even in shock Steve was still a gentleman. You took the towel from him and pushed the folder onto his chest. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know... I would have never,” his glance flew over your outfit. “What are you wearing? Not that you aren’t allowed to wear what you want, but...” Steve started to ramble and was afraid he had dug his own hole.
“Ugh this stupid bet I had with Bucky,” you mumbled while you still tried to get rid of the wetness.
“Hey, do you know how long it took me to find an USO girl costume?” Bucky chimed in with laughter still in his voice.
“Not long, because the texture is awful,” you rebutted and he admitted that it didn’t take him five minutes. “If you excuse me, I still have some deliveries to do,” you turned around and walked out of the kitchen. Steve stared after you until he remembered the folder in his hand. On it was a big print that said confidential and when he opened it he saw only one piece of paper which said “you’re welcome, punk”. He turned to Bucky who just winked at him.
“Well, you could have handled that smoother,” he said and Steve slapped the back of his friend's head before he left the room. He didn’t know where to go, the only thing he knew was that he couldn’t handle Bucky's comments right now.
“Are you sure you are okay?” Steve heard you asking Bucky for probably the fourth time since you had started your trip.
“I'm okay, you can stop your mother hen mode now,” Bucky assured you and while Steve knew Bucky was annoyed, he also knew that he wasn’t really bothered. And he couldn’t help the warm feeling that was spreading through him. Your caring self was one of the things he loved most about you. And it wasn’t even that you were on your way to a mission or anything like that, you were just making a trip to town, but you knew that Bucky got quickly overwhelmed by the amount of people around him.
“Here, hold my hand and squeeze if it gets too much,” you offered and Steve noticed the quick glance Bucky sent his way before he grabbed your offered hand.
“You have a second hand, can I hold it? Or would you rather like it, if Steve would step in?” Sam said and wiggled his eyebrows.
“Or I could use my free hand to punch you in the face, what about that?” you said coolly and Bucky chuckled.
“Nah, I don’t think you will,” Sam said confidentially, but Steve noticed that he left some space next to you.
Maybe your reaction was a little harsh, but the teasing you had to endured since your lost bet was immense. The video of Steve spitting water over you had been going around a lot and you wanted to punch whoever had shown Bucky how to make a meme. You though it had been Sam so the punch would serve for two purposes.
But if you were embarrassed it was nothing close to how Steve felt! He was the one who had lost control over his body. A mission with too many opponents to count? No problem. Jumping from a plane without a parachute? His heart would beat a little faster but that would be it. But seeing you in that outfit had caused his body to start sweating, his heart to beat faster and his brain to turn off for a second, hence the embarrassing moment.
Steve was actually glad that the teasing had turned down this day and was replaced with excitement for the baseball game you were about to watch. He just wanted to enjoy this little trip with his childhood friend, his new found friend and of course you.
You and Bucky were in front with Sam and Steve trailing behind. After the security check you split up, while you and Sam decided to use the bathroom before the game him and Bucky would get snacks and drinks. Steve had problems holding everything in his arms and avoiding a collision with other fans while he waited for the two of you.
You almost walked into him when you tried to avoid a very enthusiastic fan, but luckily Sam caught the cup which was about to fall from Steves arm. “Oh no, we don’t want you spilling your drink over her again, right?” he smirked and took a sip from the cup while you groaned and Steves face changed its color.
The four of you managed to get to your seats without much trouble. You had told the three guys they were looking stupid with their disguise as they were all wearing caps and now that you sat on your actual place between Steve and Bucky, you saw that a lot of people had caps on their heads. You squinted your eyes when the sun shone directly in your face. Steve noticed your distress and placed his cap on your head.
“Thank you,” you said with a bright smile and looked in his direction. Steve who was busy looking at you and replied with a “it isn’t a problem, honey” didn’t saw Bucky and Sam looking at each other with raised brows. They too noticed that the nickname was new.
“I have no clue about baseball,” you admitted just a little bit before the game started.
“Why did you come then?” Sam asked with his mouth full of food and you handed a napkin over Bucky towards him, but he didn’t get the hint.
“Because I also wanted to go out and wanted to have a nice afternoon,” you defended yourself and you left the part out that you joined because you knew how big of a baseball fan Steve was.
“Don’t worry, I’ll explain everything to you,” Steve offered immediately and took you out of the spotlight.
Steve stayed true to his word (as if you had expected anything less) and you had to admit that you enjoyed it. You didn’t know if it was the sport or if it was Steve’s enthusiasm while explaining that swept over to you. Bucky chimed in here and there and before you knew it the break was there.
“Oh, the Kiss Cam,” you laughed and took the last sip of your now warm drink.
“Just to make it clear, if it lands on us I’m not kissing Bucky. I can already imagine the headlines,” Sam was munching on a pretzel now that he had managed to get.
“Did you also noticed that his only problem is the headline and nothing about the kiss,” you whispered to Steve and he let out a light chuckle. And as if Sam had provoked it the cam landed on the four of you and the commentator announced that some of the avengers were at the games. Steve waved awkwardly at the camera.
“Oh that’s not what a kiss cam is for,” Sam announced and started to crawl over Bucky, who started to complain. He kissed your cheek and went back to his place. “Told you I wouldn’t kiss Barnes. This is how you do it, Rogers,” he said and went back to eating his snack. You were about to turn towards Steve but were surprised when suddenly lips landed on the cheek that Sam had just kissed. Before you could comprehend that Bucky had just kissed you publicly (and grabbed your hand afterward, probably because he only felt overwhelmed when he noticed how many people were watching him then) another pair of lips were pressed onto the other side of your cheek, dangerously close to your lips.
The skin there started to tingle and before you could comment on anything that had just happened fans stood in front of you asking for a picture with Captain America. Soon enough you were taking photos for fans and when someone asked for a photo with the four of you and Steve threw one long arm around your shoulder you couldn’t help to feel like there were butterflies flying in your stomach.
You weren’t a fan of press conferences, never were, but after an accident a few months back you didn’t attend them anymore. You knew that it had to be done, but standing in the spotlight and having to explain why you acted a certain way was not your idea of fun. But when one reporter started to ask you questions about your suit and underwear you weren’t sure if you should become angry or if you shouldn’t say anything at all.
Before you could even say anything about it Steve had exploded. Calm, collected Captain America stood in front of the press and gave them a piece of their mind how they dared to be so disrespectful. It had shocked not only the reporters, but also you and some of the other team members attending. Steve had ended the press conference then and stormed off the stage.
So he was more than surprised when he stood dressed in a black suit in front of many cameras and the door flew open with you sprinting towards him, his shield and stealth suit in your arms. “You have to change, we have a situation right now,” you said once you were in a hearing range. He took the suit from your arms and left the shield where it was, turned around and followed a guy pointing towards a room.
It didn’t take long for him to change into his other suit, he had slipped it on more than he could count. You were waiting outside in one hand the shield in the other his helmet. “What are we up against?” he asked once he stepped out of the room and strapped his helmet on.
“Inhuman activity in the city. Sam, Tony, Vision and Rhodey are already on their way, the rest of us is picking you up. We weren’t quite sure what we were facing so we decided we should be all on board,” you informed him while walking next to him and gave him his shield.
“Thanks,” he said once he secured it and followed you to the jet.
In hindsight it was good that you had picked up Steve. There were no big injuries in the team, but the buildings had taken a lot of damage. And the super soldiers came kind of handy to pick up the rumbles and free the civilians. It was exhausting: first the fight, then the rescuing and the emotional side finally caught up with you. You sat down on a staircase after calming down a kid and bringing him back to his mother.
“Are you okay?” Steves voice caused you to raise your head from your hands.
“Yeah, I just needed a moment to breathe,” you admitted. He sat down on the step next to you and placed the shield in front of you. “I feel like the people forget it isn’t only the fight against what comes our way. There are always casualties and it’s not like you can shrug and say ‘well I can’t change a thing now’. There are always the thoughts late at night if I could have been faster could something like that be avoided and it’s just... it’s draining, Steve,” you admitted.
“I know,” Steve put an arm around your shoulder and you pressed your head against his chest. “But you can’t forget the other side. What about the ones that we rescued?”
“Yeah, I know. Let’s just stay like this for a minute, okay?” Steve nodded and you felt the movement and then he placed his head on yours. His hand still caressing your arm. He waited for you to let go of the hug first. “Okay, let’s get back to work,” you said and held out your hand for him to take and to help him up, although you both knew he didn’t need it. He took it anyway.
The next Mrs. America?
We don’t know much about the private life's of the Avengers, especially Steve Rogers aka Captain America isn’t known for being very open about his personal life. But is there a woman by his side that we all know? Pictures speak louder than words. As you can see on the picture shown above the Captain has thrown his arm around his fellow Avenger after the battle on last Tuesday and they look very intimate. The shield the government has him provided is lying carelessly on the ground.
Before that a press conference with Captain America was interrupted by said woman who walked in holding his shield. Have we ever seen the shield in the hand of anybody else than him? No. So there must be a deeper connection between them. Also we can’t forget about the fact when he lost his calm facade the last time she was asked a question at a press conference which was ended by him afterwards.
We can’t wait to see what happens next and hope that Captain America won’t forget about his country because of a woman.
“This is bullshit,” you exclaimed when you put away your tablet. You couldn’t bring yourself to read the rest of the article.
“I’ve carried and used the shield in a battle,” Natasha said.
“It also wasn’t the government who gave it to him,” Tony scoffed.
“And I’m not the next Mrs. America,” you put in.
“Well you could be,” Bucky said from the side.
“What?” You turned around to look at him.
“I don’t think Steve is opposed to the idea,” Bucky shrugged.
“Steve would also never forget about his country and I hope he never has to read this bullshit.” You were glad that he was currently on a mission with Sam.
“The picture is cute, though,” Nat said. Well, she was right, but you wouldn’t admit that out loud.
After the article dropped you distanced yourself from Steve a little bit more and completely when you were in public. Of course Steve had seen the article, but the two of you didn’t discuss it.
So when you were at the next charity event you still kept your distance. It was a volleyball match and the Avengers had their own team. To make it fair it only consisted of people without super strength that meant Steve and Bucky were sitting on a bank as moral support while you, Sam, Nat, Tony and Wanda made your way over to the field.
“This is getting ridiculous, Steve! How long will you avoid her?” Bucky asked when the team was out of earshot and it was only him and his friend.
“It’s just this stupid article. It really hurt her feelings and it wasn’t professional from me to explode and,” he started but Bucky interrupted him.
“Stop it. The article was bullshit. And it was absolutely disgusting that they asked her that question. You’re just human and wanted to protect her, I get it. But stop avoiding her. You were the one telling me that I shouldn’t give any fuck,” he got a gaze from Steve that told him he should watch his language, “about any articles about me. Maybe you should listen to yourself.”
Bucky turned around and watched the players now who greeted each other. It was a mix of people that neither Steve or Bucky really knew. Some kid was a singer or something like that and was a bit starstruck to meet Black Widow. The game started and as neither of the teams were professional volleyball players it looked that way. But the Avengers were competitive people – especially Natasha and Tony and so it wasn’t really a surprise that you won the first game.
The second round was a bit harder and when you were two minutes into the game you didn’t see the ball coming your way as the sun was blinding you. Your head was pushed backwards when the ball connected with your face and a second later you were on the ground. When you weren’t up again a few seconds later Steve was up his feet and made his way to you. Natasha was already kneeling next to you and he kneeled on the other side of you. Blood was gushing out of your nose and you looked a bit dazed.
A medic was approaching but Natasha and Steve blocked her way to you and she was a bit intimidated when none of them made a move to leave your side. She held out a piece of bandage that the spy took from her and pressed it under your nose while Steve took a cooling pack and pressed it in your neck. “Are you dizzy? Do you need to throw up?” he asked you.
When they made sure you just needed to sit down for a while Steve picked you up and carried you to the benches where Bucky was waiting. He stepped in for you and he shared a gaze with Steve that didn’t slip your attention. “It wasn’t his fault Bucky,” you said while you still pressed the bandage under your nose.
“’Course,” Bucky replied and made his way on the field. Steve didn’t want to let go of you and you both didn’t fit on the bench so he sat the both of you down on the floor, him behind you and you between his legs while he still held the cooling pack and put the other arm around your torso.
“You feel better?” he asked after a while.
You hummed, too content to form a full sentence. The bleeding had stopped and you breathed through your mouth, but Steve’s one arm that radiated warmth felt too good around you. “I miss you,” you admitted then. If it was the blood loss or maybe finally being near Steve again you didn’t know what caused the admission.
And Steve didn’t know what cause it, maybe it was having you relaxed near him after such a long time, but he admitted that he missed you too. “You wanna get dinner with me tonight?” he surprised you and him.
“Just you and me?”
“Yeah, just us,” Steve whispered in your ear and his breath caressed you sweaty skin. But when it came to Steve you never felt uncomfortable even if you were covered in sweat.
“I’d really like that.” Your breath hitched when Steve lips connect softly with your skin and just then you looked at Bucky who smirked. You weren’t sure if it was because he just witnessed the kiss or if it was because he had pushed the ball into the face of the man who had hit you. But he yelled a “sorry,” over the field and winked at you.
Masterlist
divider by @fireflygraphics
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Thank you so much for the rec! 💙
⍟ steve rogers fluff fic recommendations *titles in red are suggestive, smut, or 18+ but smut is not the main focus which is why it's on this list and not the smut list. please respect authors by not interacting if a minor **personal favorites at the moment
one shots (with an occasional two-parter)
losing composure: Losing a bet with Bucky you had to wear a USO girl costume to deliver something to Steve. Steve lost his composure and suddenly things went awkward (@marvelettesassemblenow)
crash closet: steve and avenger/agent reader’s friends teasing the reader by getting her a pillow with steve’s face on it (@ronearoundblindly)
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series (completed)
red, white, and true: Pepper Potts proposes it's time for Steve to get back in the business of helping people, pursuing the greater good. She pitches he run for President of the United States of America. (@buckets-and-trees)
his fiore: Steve smexy Rogers moves into the neighborhood, and one evening, he catches you sneaking into the building opposite his through the fire escape. He watches curiously, slightly amused and, quite frankly, amazed by you. Guess what he does next? He writes a note, signs it with his middle name, Grant, and slips it under your door. How will you discover that Grant is none other than Captain America? (@mercurial-chuckles)**
•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈• •┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈• •┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•
series (ongoing)
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It's been ages since I've read this and I don't want to make you all jealous (I do actually) but I've also read chapters after this and you have to give this a try! The time loop is driving Nika insane, but it's super good and I love and miss these characters!
time after time [7]

series summary: After what starts out as a fairly normal mission, you find yourself stuck in a time loop. Which would already be bad enough in itself if it didn’t also mean having to watch Bucky die over and over again.
pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader
word count: 11.1k
chapter warnings: self-deprecation, negative self-talk and canon-typical violence. this one's heavy on the angst. it's also my favourite so far. please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.
a/n: i return with a semblance of a posting schedule and a chapter that i'm well aware is absolutely insane. but that was always gonna be the case. enjoy my loves 💚
series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3
seven: spellbound
The slamming door made you flinch awake from where you’d fallen asleep on the couch, still wearing your extravagant jumpsuit. Bucky’s hands were clenched into fists, the frown on his face familiar and deep. He’d lost his tie somewhere on the way back.
"You alright?" you mumbled, getting up on one elbow.
He ignored you, facing Sam, who had his hands folded in his lap, back still hunched forward in thought or worry.
"You alright?" Sam repeated.
Bucky gave a short nod. "Can I talk to you?"
"Talk."
He did look at you, then, his gaze slowly and irritably dripping down your body. "I meant alone," he said pointedly.
"This is my home," you protested, sitting up properly.
"You’re a squatter."
"What do you want to talk about?" Sam interjected before you could snap back.
Bucky crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I want her out."
Your mouth dropped open. "What the fuck?"
"Tonight wasn’t ideal, I’ll give you that," Sam said tiredly. "But we got what we went in for and we didn’t cast any unwanted suspicion."
"Didn’t we?" Bucky said. "Because I feel like some of us remember tonight differently."
People murmuring in confusion as you blinked in and out of existence, knowing that something was off, even though they couldn’t put a finger on it. Agitated comm chatter throughout the corridors.
"Excuse me for saving your ass," you said hotly. Maybe it would have had the intended effect if you’d properly wiped the dried blood from your face.
"I didn’t ask you to do that," he pressed out.
"If it pissed you off so much, I’ll just let you get shot next time, then, see how that feels."
"Okay, I think we can all just calm down and continue this conversation tomorrow," Sam boomed.
Bucky gritted his teeth and turned his back on you, but you jumped up from the couch, your anger giving you enough energy to follow him to the stairs.
"No! He’s having a go at me for no reason at all and I would like to hear the rest of it. Tell me where I made a single fucking mistake. Because I can tell you when you did."
"I am sick of you pretending to fix stuff—"
"Pretending?!"
"Guys—" Sam called from the living room.
"—when we don’t even know what it is you’re changing!"
"How about you actually just trust me for once, like you said you would?"
"I said I trust Sam’s decision to take you on, and that I trusted Steve’s judgment. There’s a difference."
You threw up your hands. "You wanna know what I changed? Your fucking arm almost got both of us caught, tin man, that’s what I changed."
"Do you know what it feels like," Bucky said, voice shaking with barely restrained rage, "when people tell you things about yourself that you don’t remember choosing to do?"
"Must be nice to get to forget things."
Your fingers twitched at the same time as his, metal and flesh curling like you both wanted to clutch at something you couldn’t reach. In another universe, he might have turned on you, slammed you into the wall with his hand around your neck.
Do it, then.
But no. In this one, he just went very, very still. Like he’d simply turned to stone under your gaze.
"Stay out of my fucking head," he pressed out under his breath, so low you barely caught it at all.
"I have no interest in your fucking head," you said, rage and frustration blazing in your eyes. "You want me to be honest with you? Fine. I’m sorry about what happened to you and I get why my powers are touchy for you because of it, but you gotta stop telling yourself that I’m holding out on purpose or that I have any control over anyone but myself when I go back. I didn’t ask for this shit, so get off my damn back."
"Who did, then?"
You stumbled a half-step backwards involuntarily. "What?"
Bucky’s jaw was set so tight his teeth audibly ground. "How did you get your powers?"
You blinked several times, your nails digging into your palms again. "I don’t know."
He huffed, turning away with a shake of his head. "You gotta be shitting me."
"I don’t know, okay? I don’t remember. I have to remember every single reset I’ve ever made, but I don’t know when it started, or how, or why. It’s just always been a part of me."
"Then why don’t you try to find out?"
"Oh, because you’ve got me all figured out, haven’t you? Clearly, I have no interest in understanding the thing that’s ruined my fucking life. I’ve tried. I’ve tried everything I could think of, and none of it’s done me any good."
"And you’re just fine with that, and so we’re supposed to be fine with it as well. Not knowing what the extent of your powers is, or why you got them in the first place. Sounds like a great idea."
"It was enough for Steve." You laughed mirthlessly. "He told me once that we would’ve gotten along, can you imagine that?"
"Well, maybe he was wrong about both of us, then, but why don’t you do your thing and we can ask him ourselves."
"Because for the millionth time, it doesn’t work like that! Don’t you think I’d like that, too? To go back and undo all of this damage that happened over the past couple of years? But I can’t, I can’t do it, I can’t change anything that’s farther back than eleven fucking minutes, and that was when I still had a family."
The word fell apart on the way out of your mouth, breaking into pieces just like the actual thing. You pressed your shaking palms against your eyes.
"So. I’m sorry, Barnes, that I’m not good enough for anything like that. I know that. I know that my powers are essentially useless, and I don’t need you to remind me all the time, okay. I’m already very aware."
* * * * *
.
.
.
.
.
.
Darkness.
.
Darkness and pain.
.
.
The sound of dripping, ticking, tilting.
.
Something like a bright light.
.
.
And then—
* * *
Bucky comes to in the middle of the crossing between Lexington and East 55th, right as he’s about to turn his back on the brownstone front of the Central Synagogue. There is a strange itch on his left arm that almost feels human.
He blinks, disoriented, unsure how he got here. The last thing he remembers is—
A car honks and he staggers to the sidewalk, head still pounding, and his good hand flies to the side of it, as if checking for blood.
He doesn’t find any.
Another nightmare, then. Disturbingly vivid, though. He’s concerned that his only memory of getting up and going on his usual run has the tinge of the dream to it, like he hasn’t actually woken up yet.
And neither the memory nor the nightmare carries the usual haze.
Bucky grits his teeth and tries blocking the whole thing from his mind. His thoughts keep returning to your scream, instead, which might be worse.
He notices he keeps rereading the sign in the window in front of him, and when he realizes that it’s yet another fucking Starbucks, he’s about to cut his route short and just go home, like there’s something there that could fix this bad feeling curdling in his stomach.
Instead, he takes a few shallow breaths, pulls his cap more deeply into his face, and then he continues.
When he was younger, he took up running to keep him quick on his feet during a fight. These days, he probably doesn’t have to keep on it quite so regularly, but there’s something about the rhythmic, constant movement that usually does help clear his mind.
Damn, he hates when his shrink is right.
Today, his run takes Bucky eight minutes longer than average, but he can wholeheartedly blame that on his almost-incident with the car. His thoughts are still stuck on what he remembers from the dream, spinning around and around in a loop until the elevator dings and he has to shake himself because he’s already here.
Maybe a shower will help.
It does, a little, because he turns the hot water to cold several times until he thinks, of course he’s awake. It seems so obvious now.
This is real.
The water turns off with that little squeaking sound that he keeps forgetting to fix. He doubts that anyone but him can even hear it; one of the uncountable inconveniences of enhanced senses is the ability to find some of the tiniest noises insufferable.
He shrugs a new shirt on and hangs his towel up on the only free hook, grabbing a fresh cloth from the closet. There’s not many left; neither of you has gotten around to doing laundry post-mission yet.
His heart is still beating a little harder than usual when he cracks open the door to the gym, peering inside right when Sam hits the mat.
"Geez, what’s gotten into you?"
You shrug and roll your shoulders, pulling him back to his feet. "I’ll dignify that with an answer when I see you kick above your waistline, Sammy."
Bucky can’t help but smile a little at the smugness in your voice. No matter what that terrible voice at the back of his mind is still whispering, you’re fine. It was all a strange, bad dream; end of story.
He watches the two of you circle around each other for a moment longer. There’s a grace to your movements as your eyes stay focused on Sam, calm and unwavering, like you’re anticipating the right moment to pounce on him. It’s mesmerizing.
Then again, you usually have that effect on him.
Bucky quietly slips away when you’re about to call it a day. Normally, he’d probably sit in your company to dry off his prosthetic, listening to your heartbeat return to normal levels and then watch you trot off to the showers with that little indignant shake of your head. In fact, there’s a significant part of him that wants to do just that; maybe he’ll catch a glance of that annoyed glimmer in your eyes that seems to be reserved solely for him.
It’s the one thing he gets.
He tries not to read too much into the fact that Sam gets things like an affectionate little suffix to his name when you tease him, even though that fact haunts him more than he’d care to admit. You probably don’t even notice you’re doing it, but it’s because you actually like Sam. Have learned to care about him over the past few months. And why wouldn’t you?
Bucky, on the other hand, is just Barnes more often than not. Which is fine; he’s used to it by now.
He opens the door to his room and a waft of stiff air hits him, familiar and suffocating all at once. For the first couple of months, he hesitated to even call it his room, even though he always picked the same one when it was easier than traveling all the way back to Brooklyn; the one upstairs with the large corner windows facing east and south.
It still doesn’t feel much like his out of anything other than habit. Blank, off-white walls, a half empty dresser, bed always made, the only source of disorder a couple of cat toys cluttered in the far corner. The only thing that reminds him of home is stowed in the drawer next to his bed.
He doesn’t open it now, instead reaching for the journal on the bedside table, flicking through until he reaches the latest entry.
But it’s strange.
Not the content itself, but the fact that Bucky could’ve sworn that he’d written it yesterday. He stares at it for a moment, flips the page over and back again, frowns slightly.
This nightmare is truly fucking with his head if he wasn’t even in a clear enough space of mind to jot down a couple of notes before his run.
He does it now, in as few words as he’s comfortable with, because something about all of this still doesn’t sit right with him but he can’t quite put his finger on it yet.
Out of some deep, dark instinct, his hand slips underneath his pillow, and he hates that his heart beats a little more calmly when he feels the cool metal of his gun right where he left it, where he always leaves it.
This is real.
Something nudges his side softly and when he turns, Alpine is nuzzling her head into the crook of his arm, mewling discontentedly. The sound melts a little more of his trepidation away.
"What’s wrong, sweetie?" he says with a quiet smile.
The cat observes him unblinkingly as he puts his journal down again and reaches out to pet her head, but she jumps off the bed before he can make contact, looking back at him in anticipation and, he’s pretty sure, annoyance.
She’s hungry, then.
Bucky sighs and follows her out of the room only for you to almost barrel into him. You’re sweaty and breathless, and he refuses to notice the way your training gear sticks to your body. In fact, he refuses to look anywhere but your face.
There’s an odd look on it, just as odd as the tone of your voice when you gasp, "Bucky!"
"Y/N!" he says, mimicking it. Adrenaline is still coursing through you, your heart beating so erratically he can almost feel it pulsating in his own skin. "What’s wrong with you?"
"Nothing," you answer quickly enough for him to know something is definitely wrong. "You look … normal."
"Thanks," he says dryly. "You don’t."
The nervous twitch of your ear is back, the soft tapping of your fingers against your thigh. At least he’s seen you like this enough times to know how to deal with it.
"You remember what showering is, right?" A tilt of the head, a hint of a scoff in his tone; you respond best to him pretending not to give a damn, and so he’s gotten quite good at it.
Predictably, your shoulders lose a little of their tension, even though your eyes don’t. "Fuck you, Barnes."
Really; he’s used to it by now.
Alpine meows again, like a reminder not to get hung up on things he has no control over, and it finally lets him look away from you. That’s always the hardest part, somehow, even though that makes him feel ridiculous.
Downstairs, he can’t keep his mind from wandering as he scrapes the contents of a tin can into Alpine’s bowl only for her to fall asleep in a spot of sunlight on the kitchen floor.
It’s then that he realizes the odd thing about you was that it almost, unexplicably, looked like relief.
* * *
Bucky’s been on enough missions with you and Sam by now to know you both use mindless chatter to calm yourselves in tense situations, and so he doesn’t mind forming the rear. Even if he doesn’t listen in on every word, he can easily tell if something about your situation changes while he’s covering your six.
There’s at least two guards patroling the grounds, according to Sam’s funny little computer bracelet, and so it’s no surprise that he asks Bucky to keep an eye on them while the two of you head up to find the entrance to the lab. You keep your hands raised halfway up, but Bucky can tell by your empty gaze that you’re tired. His grip on his gun tightens.
He nods to Sam once he’s in position, perched up on the roof just out of sight from any unsuspecting anarchists. Then, he watches you slip through the entrance of the barn-like building and lets out a deep, slow breath.
It’s been a weird day.
That gnawing feeling of déjà-vu has settled deep into his bones, like a pesky thought he can’t quite let go of. This, though? He can manage this.
The strange truth is—and frankly, this is something he’s looking forward to never disclosing to his therapist—that being on a mission like this one, having a specific set of tasks he can concentrate on, being keenly aware of all his surroundings … it has a calming effect on his brain. He’s not sure what to make of that fact, but it’s true.
He’s sick of the fighting, but he can’t let go of it, either.
Instead, he squints at the two white dots in the distance meeting on the other side of the block, gesturing for a while, and then slowly creeping closer.
Without taking his eyes off his targets, he tunes into your conversation again.
"—only scream when there’s good reason."
"I don’t wanna interrupt," Bucky murmurs, fiercely ignoring the untimely lurch his heart makes, "but they’re heading your way now, so get a move on."
"You’re no fun, Bucky."
He would love to roll his eyes, but he’s a professional. That’s also why he swallows his remark when you make a comment about your resets; it not like it’s surprising, anyway. You haven’t been sleeping well these past couple of weeks. Breakfasts have been particularly grumpy affairs since Marylebone.
The guards creep closer, and even though their faces are covered by the white masks, Bucky can tell they’re bored. Shoulders slumping, grip on their weapons loose, boots shuffling on the gravel. One of them has a pack of cards in her breast pocket.
If either of them were smart enough to look up, they’d spot him within a second. But since nothing unusual has ever happened during their shifts, it doesn’t even occur to them to do so.
Look at them, a voice inside him says. They don’t notice anything, do they?
Bucky’s jaw clenches, his finger tightening on the trigger. Breathe in. Breathe out.
"Reminds me of old times," Sam says.
"Can’t say that, bud," Bucky murmurs. The guards are only a couple of yards away now. "Twenty seconds."
Take them out now.
"—makes Barnes cranky."
"You forget he’s always cranky."
This is what he’s good at, what he’s always been good at. Being the lookout. The Howlies’ best sharpshooter. His aim is perfect. His mind is clear.
They might be dangerous.
He swallows.
One of the guards trips over his own feet, almost losing the rifle he’s holding. They’re both amateurs; it’s clear from their posture, the way their jackets aren’t quite crisply ironed, even the way they walk. Neither of them pose any real threat.
Still, the voice says. Why not make sure?
It’s easy, so easy, to aim at the center of their white jackets. To imagine them soaking red on the ground while he barely moves more than a single finger. Just a flash of a second.
So easy.
"Any time, Buck."
Breathe out.
The taller one gets a bullet in her right shoulder, just underneath the joint, missing her subclavian artery; the shorter one gets hit in the kneepit as he turns, his rifle skittering away as he falls, safety still engaged. Clean and quick.
With one last glance around, Bucky jumps to the ground right as the explosion sounds inside. No one is coming. Yet.
He knocks the guards out with two quick blows to their temples. Their wounds aren’t bad, of course; just enough to keep them out of the way and hurt a bunch later.
��бой.
No, but it’s all too simple. Too obvious. This, he remembers from his nightmare as well; the lab with the hidden staircase, the metallic stench coming from the leaking containers, the data stick and then …
Another fight.
The voice leaves him alone when there’s no time to think, and so Bucky trusts his instincts for this one. It’s despicable, really, how much the rush of adrenaline makes his blood boil in the best possible way, blocking out all other thought, leaving nothing but the cacophony of noises and the flurry of movement surrounding him.
This is what he was made for.
His breath hitches when a memory catches him, and he steps out of the way of a shot aimed for his head like it was in the dream, just in case.
It fires into thin air, instead.
The fact that it does fire, exactly like he remembers, takes him a fraction of a second to process.
Talk of a lucky coincidence, he thinks, knocking another agent out cold. Breathe in. Breathe out.
"We better get moving," Sam shouts, and Bucky nods.
Out of the corner of his eye, he can see you throwing another punch; you barely seem to have broken a sweat.
There’s something off about the way you move. It seems controlled, almost rehearsed in a way; as if your body knows exactly where to land your next attack without even thinking about it.
A little too perfect.
There’s a beat before you turn around to face him, and your eyes widen at the same time as Sam’s voice explodes in his ear, "Bucky!"
There’s a flash of pain and a burst of green light, and then he comes to in the middle of the crossing between Lexington and East 55th, and it’s like you’re still shouting his name, the sound echoing through his mind so clear and sharp it’s like you’re standing right behind him.
There’s something wrong with him.
Something wrong with his brain, something terribly wrong, because this—
He stumbles to the sidewalk when the same car as yesterday honks at him, comes to a halt next to the same street lamp, sweat beading on his temples in the exact same way while his bad arm itches and his head aches.
Bucky’s hand flies to his chest, pressing, feeling his heart beat erratically. There aren’t any holes. No broken ribs, no scars he doesn’t already know, every new trace of violence vanished like it had never brushed his skin.
Even though he just got shot.
Again.
He’s drawing attention now; he can feel the stares in his neck. It’s not going to take long for someone to recognize his face as well.
So he forces his breaths to slow, straightening his shoulders and tilting his head in the most unassuming way he’s taught himself. After a while, his thoughts start to clear.
There’s something wrong with his timeline. You told him once that going back felt a little like the moment before freefalling, and the bile in his mouth might just be proof for that hypothesis.
But how on earth would he have gone back, and why?
Maybe it’s his perception of time that’s warped.
He remembers the stories about people seeing their whole lives flash before their eyes before they die; and he remembers almost dying.
This feels like much more than a flash, though, and he’s not quite dead yet. This is real.
Right?
"This is impossible," he whispers.
His reflection in the Starbucks window does the same.
* * *
One more, he thinks as the shower washes away the cold sweat sticking to his skin. He’ll give this one more try before accepting that he’s either finally losing his marbles or that there’s something else going on.
His life’s been an assembly of unexplainable things. Twice might still be a coincidence.
Third time’s a pattern.
The shower squeaks off and he steps out in a cloud of steam, the cold tiles underneath his feet grounding, in a way. He wipes a streak of condensation off the mirror, staring at his own face for a moment, trying to find any signs of his mind starting to crack. His hair is long enough to stick to his forehead again, eyes tired as always.
Everything feels the same.
No one’s done laundry.
It’s like his feet automatically follow the same path they’d gone yesterday, turning left, waiting for him to push the door open, hesitating.
"What’s gotten into you?" Sam asks you again, and you shrug, again, neither of you noticing that you’re all retracing steps you’ve taken before.
Bucky thinks about the journal on his bedside table, and his fingers curl more tightly around the rag in his hand because he already knows, he knows it’s going to be incomplete again. The heavy feeling in his stomach settles as he sits down on the wooden bench, the sun hitting his arm at the exact same angle again. For a moment, golden spots dance around the room before he twists his torso just enough to make them disappear again.
He thinks about the journal, and he doesn’t want to have to look at it quite yet.
You flop down on the mat when Sam calls it a day, and Bucky nods back at him as he heads outside, rubbing a spot between his shoulderblades. Your face is still tense, even with your eyes closed, your heartbeat fast enough to make him tilt his head.
You’re so pretty. It’s not making the confusion boiling inside of him any easier to deal with.
The words are at the tip of his tongue without him having to think about them.
"You look like shit."
You blink at him in a peculiar way, like you’re just waking up from a dream yourself, and you let out a long, shaking breath.
"Oh, fuck you, Barnes."
It’s so normal for you to say it like that it almost puts him at ease. Almost.
"I think you nearly broke his nose, there." He presses the rag into another one of the crevices in his arm.
You hum noncommitantly. "Didn’t, though."
You haven’t put your rings back on, but your knuckles look fine, so you’ve probably managed to not do it in one try as well. Bucky’s gaze wanders up your arms again, slowly; your heart hasn’t calmed yet, and you continue to stare at the ceiling like you’re waiting for something.
Probably his leave, he realizes, standing up. He’s had his indulgence. "Take the towel on the right," he tells you again. "I already used the other one."
He doesn’t miss the shaky little exhale you let out as he turns his back on you, and his left fist clenches involuntarily.
One more.
He’s probably just going to have to take his mind off it all.
The air outside is sticky with heat; like the skies are supposed to break open but refuse to. Even when he squints, he can’t make out a single cloud in all that endless blue.
He keeps his head down even as his eyes scan his surroundings. It’s a little like being part of a movie he’s seen before.
There’s the woman with the two dogs, one of them barking at a garbage truck across the street. The banker on a phone call with his pregnant fiancée. The tired violin player busking near the subway station, playing the same song he did yesterday, something Bucky recognizes but still can’t name.
Everything is exactly the same.
He shoves his hands deeper into his pockets to fish for his ticket, joining the other people lining up to board the subway, their faces too familiar to distract him. He keeps expecting one of them to break, to call him out on doubling back every day, but none of them do. They don’t seem to notice.
He almost hesitates before he knocks on Sam’s door that afternoon, but the knot in his stomach hasn’t loosened. If anything, it’s gotten worse.
I thought you’d be there, he texts the number that never responds. He waits for a minute, two minutes, but of course there’s no answer.
There never is.
Just another thing to take his mind off of. Let his mind settle on something concrete that’s right in front of him. That he has complete control over.
Besides, maybe there’s something he’s supposed to get right here.
But when Sam calls, "We need to get moving," Bucky already knows, deep down, how this is going to end. His heart is beating frantically as the situation stays out of control, even though this should be easy. He’s seen this before. What is he missing?
The voice at the back of his mind hums dangerously, and he ignores it, punching out the agent in front of him and then whipping his head around to find you already staring at him with your eyes wide and for a moment, the world freezes because you look at him like … well, fuck.
Like he’s usually looking at you.
Desperate.
It’s his last thought before something right next to him explodes and there is nothing but pain.
And then he comes to in the middle of the crossing between Lexington and East 55th, and this time, this third time, he feels like he’s earned the right to be considerably less calm about the whole thing.
The car honks and the people stare and Bucky throws up on the sidewalk next to Starbucks because the world is still hung up on Friday and he’s died three days in a row. When he rummages through the pockets of his slacks for a tissue, his hand grazes something cool.
It’s a small, coal black ring that he’s seen many times before, and his stomach churns again as his hand closes around it so tightly it must leave an imprint. Of course, there are no coincidences in his life.
He really should’ve known better from the start.
* * *
He needs to talk to you.
He thinks it when he puts the ring back into his pocket and he’s still thinking it when he bursts into the Tower, doors slamming loud enough to startle Alpine awake from her spot on the couch. He needs to talk to you, and you’re going to figure this out together, because that’s what you do. It’s what you always do.
But she’s got time powers.
He presses his lips together tightly as he jogs up the stairs two at a time, ignoring the thought. Then again, there’s the piece of soap on the tiles next to the sink that he’s picked up three days in a row now, and his hand reaches for the same towel automatically, and how the hell does one get stuck in a time loop in the first place?
Месть.
Bucky turns the shower off so resolutely part of it dents. No, he thinks. If you knew, you’d get him out of this. He knows that you wouldn’t wish him harm.
Then how?
"You’re dead," he says out loud, staring at his own steamed up reflection. "You’re not real."
Neither of us is.
His heart beating out of his chest would disagree.
When he sits down next to you today, he watches you apprehensively. You still ignore him, but it seems to come so natural to you. As if all of this is normal, as if you don’t even notice something is wrong, even though you have to, right, you have to.
"You look like shit," he says out loud, but he feels like he’s still talking to himself.
Fuck you, Barnes.
And then it happens again.
Clearly, he’s losing his mind.
It’s the only explanation that’s left. He’s already been to hell and back and now he’s going mad, he’s finally going mad, he’s going insane—
No, you’re not.
His own heartbeat sounds so loud in his ears as the shower screeches off and something settles in his stomach like a stone, something as sure and familiar and uncomfortable as that voice that’s been getting louder each day.
You’re as clear-headed as you’ve ever been.
Which means that once again, someone or something else is trying to mess with his head, only this time, it’s already been screwed with enough for him to tell.
Here’s the thing about all this that keeps rubbing him the wrong way, keeps scratching at the very back of his mind just like the parts of him he’d rather keep buried for the rest of his days: If you truly don’t know this is happening, then why are you the only one doing something different every time?
Bucky’s spent the better part of his life honing in his perception skills, and he’s seen everyone else behave in the precise same manner four, five, six days in a row, but you … you’ll leave a room a few minutes earlier than the day before, or order a different lunch, or wear a different shirt.
It’s not easy to miss in the slightest and it makes him doubt you’re as clueless to this as you pretend to be.
Which leaves him with the version of events he hates the most, and which is therefore the most likely: If you do know this is happening, then why do you keep up this charade? Is it because you’re responsible for all this somehow? And if you are, is it on purpose?
That’s too many ifs for his liking. It all makes him think back to the Westview Anomaly, so he reads up on it.
And then he decides that he’d rather know whether the sinking feeling in his gut is right.
You’re staring up at the ceiling like you want to pretend he’s not even there, and his good hand is shaking too much to be of much use in drying the arm.
"Take the towel on the left," he makes himself say. "I already used the other one."
There’s a shuffling as you sit up, but he can’t bear to turn around. "Sorry, what did you say?"
"I said use the one on the left, because I took the other towel," he repeats.
"Right," you say, and then he can hear your rings clink against each other as you collect them from their dish.
Maybe he should return the one he found in his pocket. Maybe you just haven’t realized it’s missing yet, because this is your first time living through this day and you don’t know to ask for inconsistencies yet.
You shuffle towards the showers, and he’s startled to realize how relieved he feels. Strange, really, to put that much weight on a towel; but at least it means you don’t—
"Hey, Bucky," you say, hesitating at the door, and his stomach drops a little. "What day’s today?"
"Friday," he answers, his voice surprisingly level. "Why." It’s not really a question.
"No reason," you say, and the door clicks shut behind you. The sound seems to echo in the empty gym.
"Something weird is happening," he tells Sam as soon as he can hear him approach the kitchen.
He hates that he’s doing this, but it’s not like there’s a roster of people he could talk to. His shrink would probably just prescribe him some pills that won’t work again—that is, if Bucky could get a hold of him on a national holiday in the first place—, and even though Sam is going to laugh in his face about this whole thing, he at least has to try. Right?
"You sound like Y/N," Sam says, pouring himself a bowl of cornflakes.
Bucky grimaces, which earns him a concerned head tilt. Sometimes, Sam reminds him of all the best parts of Steve, and he doesn’t know whether that makes him calmer or furious.
"Talk to me, Buck."
He stares at the milk carton like it’s holding the solution to his problem. "I think she’s doing something to me."
Sam snorts. "Thank you, Captain Obvious."
He says it so lightly, almost jovially, and Bucky’s nails dig so hard into his palms one hand draws blood. "You know?" he says tonelessly.
"Are you kidding me?" Like he’s tickled. Like he’s been in on the joke for a while. "You two have been doing this dance for months."
Despite it all, his heart cracks a little more. "What?"
Sam hesitates for a moment before squinting at him. "We’re not talking about the same thing, are we?"
And Bucky supposes they’re not, they’re really not, so he says, "Today should be Tuesday."
A frown. "What do you mean?"
"What day is it?"
"Friday," Sam says.
"Wrong," Bucky tells him. "Yesterday was Friday. And so was the day before, and the one before."
He finally puts his bowl down on the counter. "Are you having a stroke?"
"Sam, listen to me. Today keeps repeating."
He frowns. "You mean like a time loop? Like you’re in Groundhog Day?"
"I don’t know what that is." A fun little name for his personal Gehinnom.
Just deserts, don’t you think?
"Have you talked to Y/N about this?" Sam asks. "I mean, that’s kind of her thing. I’m sure whatever this is, she can help you out." He still sounds a little incredulous, but he knows Bucky well enough to recognize when he’s not joking.
He’s never felt less like joking.
"There’s also this." He pulls out the ring. "I found this in my pocket. Why would it be in my pocket?"
Sam leans against the counter. "You tell me, man."
"I think she knows something."
"But that’s a good thing, right?"
Theoretically. Not when he’s died for a week straight, though.
"Then why didn’t she tell us?" He hates the despair in his words, the paranoia seeping through. He hates that Sam catches it, and that his features morph into something that’s supposed to look understanding, even though he doesn’t get what this is about.
"Maybe you’re wrong," Sam says gently. "Are you sure she’s not just as oblivious to this as everyone else?"
Bucky drags a hand through his hair. His left shoulder aches. "I don’t know."
Yes. You do.
"I’m telling you, there’s something going on."
Sam stares at him for a long, hard moment, and then he nods. "Okay. What do you want to do?"
He wants to sleep in on Saturday. He wants to stop feeling so confused. He wants the words in his throat to stop choking him.
But what he wants hasn’t mattered in eighty years.
And so he doesn’t say, I’m scared.
He doesn’t say, I feel so alone.
He doesn’t say, I don’t want to die.
And the only one who hears those things swallows them up whole until there’s nothing left.
"I’ll tell you when I find out," he says, because that’s the only thing that will leave his mouth. And if Sam looks at him doubtfully, well, maybe he knows him a little too well.
* * *
"I’m gonna go get some coffee. Do you want something?"
Bucky can hear your keys clattering as you pull on your shoes in the hallway, but he doesn’t move from his spot on the couch. He has to think.
"I’m good," he says blankly.
Are you?
Even Alpine looks at him doubtfully. He leans back a little until a spot of sunlight reflects from his watch, making her pounce at it playfully. Normally, it’d make him smile.
She jumps up on the coffee table and sniffs at the shreds of cardboard someone’s left behind. They weren’t there yesterday.
On the muted television, Sam enters the stage with his signature cap grin. Presumably, there’s thunderous applause, because it takes him a while to actually step up to the podium and begin his speech.
In the background, dozens of important-looking people gaze at him expectantly, with the exception of a woman with short blonde hair who’s turned away from the stage, holding both hands to her ears like she’s trying to understand a person on the phone. Bucky squints.
"You sure?"
Reflexively, he looks up at the sound of your voice, only to see you leaning in the doorway with a cautious expression that doesn’t help his muddled thoughts in the slightest.
Talk to me.
"Why are you wearing a jacket?" he asks.
You tug at the sleeves, not meeting his eye. It’s become a habit he doesn’t care for. "To be more like you," you deadpan.
It would feel so normal if only he could shake the feeling that something is wrong. Something is off.
He catches a glimpse of your hands just before they vanish into the pockets of your jacket. Not long enough to clearly see what color your rings are, but enough to notice one’s missing.
It’s flitting through his own fingers instead, and you would notice, too, if you would just look at him.
"You sure you alright?" he asks, and for a split second there’s something like a flicker on your face, but it washes away immediately, replaced by the usual unbothered exterior you’ve been wearing.
"Just fine," you say, voice even, face neutral.
And the problem is that he’s not sure if you’re lying. Normally, it’s so easy to tell, but right now …
Alpine rubs her head against his palm, your ring pressing into it like a reminder, and it sends a chill down his spine.
Bucky waits for the door to click shut behind you before slipping into his shoes and quietly following after you. He takes three steps at a time to keep up with the elevator, and in his rush he ends up having to wait for it to arrive in the lobby, glancing surreptitiously through the small window in the fire door.
A change has gone through you while you were out of his sight. The mask you’ve been wearing whenever you know he’s around has vanished, dropped like your shoulders. When you cross the entrace hall, the usual bounce in your step is gone and you just look tired.
The frown on his face deepens. He makes himself count to ten before following you.
Stepping outside at this time of the day always feels like getting slapped across the face by the noise and the heat. The sun is relentless today, and he can feel sweat beading on his neck, but you don’t so much as readjust your jacket as you make your way across the street, slowly, like you’re letting yourself be carried by the crowds.
Bucky keeps enough of a distance so even you won’t get a second chance to become aware of him. Just before you enter the Starbucks, your chin raises up again, your spine straightening.
It’s uncanny to witness your defenses going up as clearly as this, and it makes him stop in his tracks so abruptly someone almost bumps into him.
"Hey, I was just—oh, sorry, Sergeant Barnes."
"It was my fault," he mutters. The guy strolls towards a delivery bike, stealing a cautious look over his shoulder. Something about the way he moves feels oddly familiar.
There’s no time for Bucky to entertain the thought much longer, because a couple of minutes later you step out onto the sidewalk again, drink in hand, and he retreats a bit further into the alley, expecting you to pass him on your way back. You don’t, though. Instead, you look up at the sky and let out a sigh before turning and strolling down Lex.
You didn’t do that yesterday, either.
Bucky hesitates for a moment. He doesn’t want to outright follow you around for the rest of the day; he only wanted to see … what, exactly?
He groans quietly and then walks into the Starbucks himself. Maybe coffee isn’t such a bad idea after all.
Besides … it’s not like she’s that fast.
How strange to know that if he really wanted to, he could probably track your steps without much of a problem, even on a day as busy as today. It unsettles him more than he would like to admit.
The AC blasts a little bit of common sense back into him, even though the volume inside the store immediately makes him want to tear his ears out. It’s not that busy at the moment, but the amount of noise of the chattering people and the coffee grinders and the milk steamers is close to unbearable as usual.
The barista who has a crush on Sam is working the register again, fanning herself with a playbill. There are red, white and blue stripes running down her forehead, and Bucky briefly wonders how she keeps it from getting into her eyes.
"Hi there," she says with a knowing grin as soon as she recognizes him. "You just missed Y/N."
"I saw." Bucky shifts his weight. "Did she seem weird to you?"
She chuckles. "Apart from the fact that she ordered decaf?"
He frowns. "Something like that."
She shrugs and redjusts her cap. "Just the usual amount," she says in a way that would make him smile on any other day. The tag on her apron has the name Nora on it, but he feels like that’s not right. "Do you want to order something? I can put it on her card."
Normally, he’d refuse out of principle, but it’s not like anything he does today matters.
"Thanks," he says. "I’ll have a coffee, then."
He doesn’t even particularly like coffee, but it does help when he hasn’t slept a lot. And, truth be told, he’s not sure when the last time he slept was. He’s been awake for a week, but without feeling any of the usual side effects of insomnia.
Or the numerous head wounds.
"Mhm," Not-Nora says. "Little more specific?"
Well, shit. "Not decaf?" he tries.
"You’re useless," she smiles and then taps her screen a bunch of times. "Alright, move along. Tell cap good luck from me."
He almost smirks. "Why not tell him yourself?"
She huffs, blushing ever so slightly. "I’m not getting out of here ’til one and I’m already a sweaty mess."
And maybe it’s because his day has been nothing but a shitshow over the past week. Maybe it’s because Sam hasn’t talked about Leila in over three weeks even before Friday started, and Bucky doesn’t like his friends being quietly miserable. Maybe he just wants to see something work out for a change.
It’s been a while since he’s played matchmaker. His sisters would’ve laughed about this for weeks; maybe he does it for that thought.
"How about you put down your number and I’ll pass it on?"
Not-Nora perks up even as her flush deepens. "Are you serious?"
"Deadly."
When he leaves five minutes later, her phone number is scrawled along one side of his paper cup, and even though the coffee tastes just as disgusting as usual, he can’t help but feel like maybe he can do one tiny thing right. At least for a moment.
His feet carry him down Lexington Avenue without him even consciously thinking about it, and he gets as far as three blocks before he remembers that Sam’s speech started at 14:00. He jerks up his watch so quickly the coffee spills on his shirt, but he barely hisses at the burn.
14:47.
What’s the point? he thinks as he throws the empty cup into the closest trash. Or maybe he does.
* * *
He throws his punches a little harder each day.
It takes all of his might not to lose himself completely in the fight to come, not to unleash his full serum-powered strength on a couple of faceless fanatics who would be fine again in a couple of minutes, anyway, depending on how long he’ll make it today. Still, there’s a certain mindlessness to it as he repeats his own steps, ribs cracking and wrists twisting as he strikes again and again and again.
"I think I’m losing it," he tells Sam about a week in.
"Like a bad day or you’re about to go Shining on me?"
So far, there hasn’t been any shining, but it wouldn’t make a difference.
"Two o’clock."
He’s already half-turning when you say it, already pulling the trigger as the words leave your mouth, moving on muscle memory alone at this point. And you still don’t notice.
A single bead of sweat runs down the side of your neck as you kick another one of your assailants in the groin, and even though your eyes are focused, you’re not in it.
If he didn’t know any better, he’d say you were just concentrating; but he knows you can be in the moment and quip freely at the same time. He’s seen you do it countless times before today.
But it’s Friday, endless, sweltering, blood-stained Friday, and it’s like you’ve turned into a robot version of yourself, every move premeditated and precise, every look and word and nod planned and practiced just enough not to arouse suspicion in anyone who doesn’t look as closely as he’s had time to. It’s a game of pretend, and you’re almost winning. You’re almost perfect.
No. You’re too perfect.
Perfect in your display of almost-shock, of almost-pain as the knife cuts through Bucky’s kevlar vest like butter and lodges right above his heart. At first, he barely feels it; he only tastes the blood bubbling up his throat when his mouth drops open.
His eyes stay on you as he thuds to his knees, bones crunching, eyes watering. You catch him, barely, supporting his shoulders to keep him steady.
Your silence is deafening.
"What’s wrong with you?" he murmurs as the ringing in his ears gets louder, barely audible enough for you to hear, but clearly you do, because something shifts in your eyes, and oh.
There’s that glimmer in your eye he loves looking at so much, the one he only gets to see when he teases it out of you. That spark of mischief he’s missed during all this, like your fire has burned out.
He’s never hated it more.
And then he comes to in the middle of the crossing between Lexington and East 55th, and once again, he feels like a decision’s been made for him already.
He makes it to the side of the road and sits down on the boardwalk, ignoring the bustle of curious people around him. Instead, he stares directly at the synagogue on the other side of the street, and he doesn’t ask why.
He asks, Like this?
And just like he expected, there’s no answer. Not even from within.
He presses both of his hands to his heart to feel it beat against his palm, more steady than his thoughts and still there. He’s still there.
It’s Friday again.
Bucky thought, not too long ago, that with everything he’s come to know and … like about you, you were someone he could let in. That someday, he could let you see him, with everything he’s used to hiding away underneath all of the protective layers he’s built around his heart.
Maybe he was wrong.
He should confront you. No, he should just ask. Why can’t he bring himself to ask?
Сбой, the voice in his head reminds him again and he presses it down, down between his torn open ribs, shoves it underneath the wounds that keep reopening anyway because he’s sick of having to listen to it all the time, sick of never being alone in his own damn head anymore, of not being able to leave a single day behind, let alone anything else.
Something tugs at him from deep within, and it’s enough to make him get up, rub his palms against his pants, and then take out his phone as he starts walking again. He knows the number by heart, but he’s never been able to actually hit the call button before, even though he’s tried. He’s tried countless times.
His speed picks up with every ring of the phone because something about this makes him feel like running away. Like maybe he gets it now. Like—
There’s a click, and then the sound of the voicemail recording. Of course.
Bucky groans. "Damnit, I know you’re never gonna listen to this, but there’s something really fucked up going on and I don’t—I don’t know what to do, man."
He keeps walking, keeps his head up even when he bumps into people, because what does it matter, right now? He ignores the red light at the next crossing, mostly because he needs to move.
"It’d be real fuckin’ decent of you to just pick up the goddamn phone every once in a while, you know, because that’s what—"
"Buck?"
For a second, everything screeches to a halt.
He’s not sure what comes first, him dropping his phone or the car hitting him from out of nowhere, but the next thing he knows is he comes to in the middle of the crossing between Lexington and East 55th, right as he’s about to turn his back on the brownstone front of the Central Synagogue, and it feels like someone just ripped his heart open all over again.
He flips the car off when it honks, not even caring about the ache in his limbs. His phone is safely tucked away in his pocket, and when he pulls it out again, there’s not so much as a scratch on the screen, but right now, it’s not like he would have cared.
The next five times he tries, the call doesn’t even go through.
He knows that voice. He knows it just as well as his own, just as well as the one hiding inside some dark corner of his mind, and it shouldn’t sound like that anymore.
The thing inside stirs again, that other, softer voice, that part of him he hates just as much.
Keep trying, it says.
It’s the part of him that told him to jump from the helicarrier. The part of him that still refuses to believe he was past redemption despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary; the part of him that’s too damn hopeful for its own good, and somehow still persists.
Talk to her, it says.
He can’t go on listening to ghosts for the rest of his days.
Or day, rather.
His thumb hovers over the call button one last time, and then he shuts his phone off.
* * *
"You look like shit."
"Oh, fuck you, Barnes."
He scoffs, but his mind is still hurling with anger and pain and confusion, and it comes out like a growl. He’s vigorously scrubbing at the crevices in his arm. Maybe the inside is still stained with his blood; maybe that’s why it feels so heavy.
"Are you alright?" you ask and his head snaps up.
You look so innocent, almost concerned. Normally, he would enjoy it for the second it would last, but today, it sticks. Everything sticks today.
"What do you think?"
Your eyes widen just a little bit, but you don’t say anything. You still don’t fucking say anything, and that’s more telling than anything else in this endless nightmare so far.
You’re not asking what’s wrong with him, because you know. You know.
"How many times are we gonna go through this before we’re done?"
You bite your cheek, your fingers twitch. "I don’t know," you say, and your voice sounds so far removed it barely sounds like yours anymore.
Fine, he thinks. If you’re not telling him, then it really is some elaborate scheme to punish him. To make him think he’s lost his mind again, make him see that free will is nothing but an illusion, that things will always, always stay the same no matter what he does. He gets the point.
Then why does it hurt so much to know? Why does it hurt to know you?
Maybe because none of this, as terribly, horribly real as it’s been, has felt like it was true at all. He’s still missing a piece of the puzzle, and you’re refusing to give it to him. If he only knew what went wrong between the two of you—no.
You’re clearly done with him, and he’s not going to beg for answers he’s not going to get. People he cares for usually made a point of leaving him; why should it have been any different with you?
By the time Sam enters the kitchen, Bucky’s been glaring at the fridge for a while already. There’s a magnet in the shape of a blue alien with six arms holding up your shopping list; a couple of sticky notes with passive-agressive messages on them, most of them about the cat litter; a postcard from the exhibit at the National Air and Space Museum. Trivial bits and pieces.
He wants to set all of it on fire, starting with the postcard.
"She knows," he says without turning when he hears Sam’s steps behind him. They halt on the other side of the kitchen island.
"Knows what?" He doesn’t even ask who, and it fuels the anger.
"That I’m stuck in a time loop."
A choking sound, too short to be worrisome. "Come again?"
Bucky glowers at him over his shoulder, even though none of this is Sam’s fault. He gets a concerned stare in return, which cools his temper somewhat; he lets out a sigh. "What day do you think it is?"
"Are you feeling alright?"
No. "Humor me."
He grabs a mug from the drying rack, just to have something to do with his hands. It’s the one with cat ears that showed up outside his room on his birthday, wrapped in cheap brown packing paper.
How long ago was March?
"Friday," Sam says, and he sounds so sure about it. Bucky desperately wants to believe it’s that easy.
"It’s been Friday for a while," he says instead, his voice cracking.
To go through everything like this is both easier and worse than he expected.
"I don’t get it." Sam pinches the bridge of his nose. "I’ve seen you fight before. Hell, I’ve fought you before. You’re near impossible to hurt, let alone kill."
Bucky huffs. "I heal fast, I’m not invincible."
"Then how does it keep happening when you know it’s coming?"
Unbidden, the glimmer in your eye comes to mind again. The line of your back turned towards him, the complete abandon of self-preservation in your fighting style, however streamlined it may be. Even through all this, you expect him to watch your six.
And why wouldn’t you? His eyes are continually drawn to you, anyway.
He knows that just as well as you do, and there’s nothing he can do about it. He can just go and be slaughtered instead.
Bucky swallows. His throat feels very dry.
"I told you we shouldn’t have brought her on," he finally says, even though it’s not really an answer. Or maybe it is. You were always going to be the knife that cut the deepest, and maybe he’s known from the start. "Reckless idiot."
"Yeah, you said that. Almost a year ago. Hasn’t that changed?"
"Everything’s changed," he snaps, and the mug slips from his fingers. It shatters on the tiles, small shards flying off in all directions, and it hurts.
It’s just a mug. It shouldn’t twist his stomach, not like this. He keeps staring at the pieces.
"And why do you think that is?" Such a soft question.
Bucky’s hands clench into fists.
That other voice inside knows the answer, is desperate to scream it out, to share the burden and the weightlessness of it, but he can’t let it. He squashes it down, forces it back into its dark, hopeless corner. It has no place here. It can’t.
Somehow, Sam seems to hear it anyway.
"Have you talked to her?" He chooses his words carefully.
Bucky’s heart is racing like he’s dying, but he knows what that feels like now and it’s not this. This is worse.
Сбой, he thinks again, and this time, it echoes in his mind loud enough to drown out anything else. The shards on the floor are blurring. He has a sudden urge to spit or vomit, but he half-expects words to come out if he should. Of all things.
Can we leave before I do something he’ll regret?
His left hand makes a grating sound as his right palm opens underneath his fingernails, blood slowly dripping from one wrist. It brings him back into the kitchen, Sam’s gaze still heavy on him. He doesn’t want to meet his eyes.
"She’s not coming."
There’s something cold in Bucky’s voice he’s too fed up to care he recognizes.
It’s his own fault. He’s let his guard down around you, let you in, and it’s been a mistake. Of course it was. You’re the one who led him here, and he doesn’t want to follow your orders any longer.
"Let’s go on the mission without her. If she isn’t there, maybe I won’t …" He doesn’t have to say it out loud. He’s still bleeding, after all.
"Are you sure?" Sam says.
No. "I’m asking as a friend."
As expected, that’s enough.
He doesn’t feel bad leaving you behind without a single word, without looking back over his shoulder as he quietly drags the door shut behind him. He doesn’t feel bad sitting on the quinjet in silence, staring daggers at the wall. He doesn’t feel bad as he climbs out and soaks up the last few rays of sunshine, his focus unbroken for once.
He’s not haunted by you here; only by his own ghost.
Bucky’s been through this enough times to recall more than the broad strokes of it; he slips this mission on like a second skin, breathing through the absence of you with more calm than he’s thought possible. Then again: this is what he’s good at.
There’s a goal, and there’s a catch; but no more distractions. This will be a breeze.
.
…
That night, he dreams of you. If you could call it a dream, the few strange, hazy moments after he dies and before he gets put together again.
You look at him, almost reaching out but never quite touching, your eyes gleaming green.
His name still echoes in your voice when he comes to.
* * * * *
From his perspective, it made sense, of course, so really there was no point in going over it again.
And yet you did. Over and over.
I want her out.
It was quite simple, really. Bucky hated your guts because of something you couldn’t control, you were still seething because of it, and you were both perfectly fine with avoiding each other for the rest of your days.
You took an extra shift at the store the next day, just so you wouldn’t have to run into the two of them any more than necessary. You couldn’t wait until Sam jumped back on his flight to D.C. and Bucky fucked off to do whatever he did all day; the most important part was that they’d both be far, far away from you.
"Fucking Steve," you mumbled as you violently scrubbed the counters. Come to think of it, all of this was entirely his fault. No one would even know you existed without him blabbering on about you. And what you wouldn’t give to live in a world without being judged for your very existence by a bionic ex-assassin.
On top of everything else, some moron decided to steal the tip jar while you were distracted getting some ice, and by the time you made it home, it was nearing midnight, you’d had way too many espresso shots for a single human being, and you just wanted to cry in the silence of your own four walls. It was probably the single most terrible day you’d had since the first couple of weeks in the Tower.
Unfortunately, when you unlocked the front door, you immediately realized that your terrible day wasn’t over yet. There were too many pairs of shoes sitting in the hallway, and voices coming from the kitchen area.
You quietly pulled off your sneakers in the semi-darkness of the hallway. You were way too exhausted to attempt to use your powers, but maybe you could tiptoe past them to take a quick shower and then fall into bed without having to talk to anyone.
Slowly, you crept closer to the stairwell, keeping one eye on the shadows dancing across the wall to your left. Snippets of conversation got clearer.
"—not saying that, but whether you want to admit it or not, she’s good." Sam sounded annoyed.
"It’s not about that and you know it."
"Yeah, I do. You know what else I know? You need to go back to therapy."
You froze, shrinking back into the darkness of the hallway. You could hear Bucky huff an incredulous laugh.
"I made—"
"Amends, I’m aware. And was that your idea, or was that the assigned homework from your court mandated army doctor?" Silence. "You can’t just work through a list and at the end of it decide you’re done and everything’s magically alright again."
"'Course not. I don’t get to do that."
There was something about his tone that made your anger sink down slowly, heavily, until you swallowed it down entirely and you just felt wretched.
You weren’t supposed to listen to any of this. This was way out of your depth, and you had no idea how to get out of it. Their voices blurred into each other as your pulse was rushing through your head loud enough to make you dizzy, and you reached for your necklace in an attempt to ground yourself, to calm your breaths and reach out to something that could get you away from this moment in time.
It was useless.
"Like I said," Sam continued calmly. "You don’t have to work together ever again. But the two of you should talk it out first."
"Or how about this," you whispered, not loud enough for any but superhuman ears to pick up on, "should we ever get to the point again where I reset something around you and it’s important, I will let you know."
You barely knew why you offered, with your back pressed against the wall, not even standing in the same room as Bucky. But you didn’t want to fight.
There was a beat of hesitation, and then he said, "Promise?"
"Sure," Sam said.
You held up your pinkie finger in front of your heart, even though no one could see. "On the nine lives of the cat I will own one day."
You counted your breaths up to twenty before you heard one of them shift their weight, bare feet shuffling over your tiles.
"Fine," Bucky said finally. "She can stay for now. But I’m keeping an eye on her."
A familiar hitch went through you all on its own and you opened your eyes to find the world standing still. You took a couple of hesitant steps towards the stairs again, your head turning when you passed the kitchen area.
Sam had his back turned to you, stretching to reach something on the shelf next to the fridge, but Bucky’s frozen gaze was fixed on the wall you’d been leaning against, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Determination was a good look on him, you decided. It left a certain shine in his eyes that was hard to look away from.
That night, you dreamt of drowning at sea, and somehow you didn’t want to call it a nightmare.
chapter eight
thank you for reading!! you can follow my library blog @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications 💚
this chapter was my best kept secret and i'm forever grateful to @marvelettesassemblenow for reading ages ago 🫶🏼 also no one talk to me about thunderbolts bc i still haven't watched it but it seemed like a good time for a comeback
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Thank you so much for the mentions! <3
james buchanan ‘bucky’ barnes
masterlist • marvel • 04/25/25
˚‧⁺ ・ ˖ · ୨ৎ recs five
one two three four

𑣲 how to impress a 21st century girl I @brunchable
Sam had forced Bucky to use Tinder to solve his abysmal love life. Bucky tells himself that if third time isn't a charm, he will officially give up trying to find a partner.
𑣲 i don’t want you like a best friend pt2 I @/brunchable
Bucky can't decide if the universe loves him or hates him. Maybe it loves to hate him. Maybe it's mischievous. Because he’s in love. He’s madly, deeply, painfully in love with a girl that he knows he’ll never have. Because the heavens created arguably the most perfect creature in their repertoire, dangled you in front of him for his entire life, and chose to rip you away before he had the chance to tell you how he felt.
𑣲 the best worst day ever I @jobean12-blog
You're having a shit day but then you see a dog and things start looking up...
𑣲 game night I @mugglebornmarvelite
Steve’s mandatory game night takes a turn when you and Bucky are paired up.
𑣲 bleeding heart I @mournthebird
You're his assigned nurse.
𑣲 domestic ws / soldat hcs I @/mournthebird
𑣲 cold metal I @/mournthebird
Soldat's arm gets cold. You are the solution.
𑣲 shower suds I @/mournthebird
You give Soldat his first bath out of captivity.
𑣲 silver and garnet I @/mournthebird
Soldat hurts himself a lot.
𑣲 condition I @/mournthebird
Soldat refuses to sit down, you notice he's in pain.
𑣲 gentle hand I @/mournthebird
Soldat has a panic attack.
𑣲 stained I @/mournthebird
Soldat continues to have nightmares.
𑣲 apricot toast I @/mournthebird
Soldat doesn't understand care can be without price.
𑣲 knots I @/mournthebird
You help the soldier with some self care.
𑣲 honey girl I @violentdelightsandviolentends
The Universe shows you your soulmate when it feels like you need them most. When you least expect it, you're given yours - Bucky Barnes. Your Dad's best friend. You can try to refuse it all you like; but the Universe wants what it wants. There's no denying fate.
𑣲 bucky can’t stand you I @buckyalpine
𑣲 mob!bucky I @/buckyalpine
𑣲 easy I @jaggedamethyst
life with bucky is amazing…but it’s easy to feel like you’re not enough when your relationship is a secret.
𑣲 sugar and skin pt2 pt3 pt4 I @tteotlma
Bucky’s never been sure if normalcy is something he’s cut out for. But when he meets you—a baker with a pretty smile—he starts to think maybe he could try.
𑣲 toy soldier pt2 pt3 pt4 pt5 pt6 pt7 I @vunblr
She had been the tool Hydra used to keep him operational; he, the weapon manipulated by their tendrils to execute their ambitions. Years after breaking free, fate Sam Wilson brings them together once more. Now, they must navigate the challenges of forging a connection beyond the twisted dynamic that once bound them in the past.
𑣲 to mend a soldier I @/vunblr
Pressed by a worried Sam, Bucky reluctantly agrees to try an alternative -and, if you ask him, weird- therapy program: rent-a-mom. What starts as an obligation soon turns into something far more meaningful than he ever expected.
𑣲 what if…? I @/vunblr
Bucky navigates his insecurities and guilt from his past as he grows closer to his new neighbor, a nurse.
𑣲 roots and branches pt2 pt3 pt4 I @/vunblr
Bucky has built a quiet life in the woods, content to keep the world at arm's length. But when a new neighbor moves to town, her presence ignites emotions he’s hesitant to face.
𑣲 foundations pt2 pt3 pt4 pt5 pt6 pt7 I @/vunblr
Bucky is doing his best to build a stable life for his newfound son, rescued from the guts of a Hydra facility. As he struggles with unexpected fatherhood and his own circumstances, he meets someone who slowly becomes part of their lives, establishing a connection he never saw coming.
𑣲 plump and ripe I @/vunblr
On a routine visit to the fruit shop, Bucky ends up with more than his usual goodies.
𑣲 built to last I @/vunblr
Bucky took up carpentry to keep himself busy, but didn't expect a hardware clerk to make him want more.
𑣲 touched starved I @mrsbuckybarnes1917
You accidentally walk in on Bucky touching himself when he thinks he is alone. Turns out he is thinking about you.
𑣲 a quiet escape I @thebarneschronicles
During a holiday stay at Clint Barton’s home, you’ve been desperately trying to steal a moment alone with Bucky—your super-soldier boyfriend—but the Avengers are constantly interrupting. Between Clint’s kids, Steve’s “bromantic” grocery runs, and Nat pulling Bucky into sparring sessions, it feels like you’re constantly fighting for his attention. Frustration finally boils over when you confront Bucky about your lack of privacy, only to discover he’s just as eager for some alone time as you are - and willing to do anything to get it.
𑣲 deny me I @drewbarymore
In which you feel like Bucky’s ashamed of you.
𑣲 dreamscape I @wkemeup
When Bucky falls under the spell of a Djinn, the line between fantasy and reality blurs. In order to survive, he must fight his way back to the real world - even if it costs him everything he's ever wanted.
𑣲 someone’s calling my name (and it sounds like you) I @mellowsaturns
after a mission gone wrong, bucky finds himself on the brink of unconsciousness and then you show up which causes him to reveal his true feelings
𑣲 mine I @cherrypickertheory
A new recruit joins the team, and gets a little too close to you for Bucky’s liking.
𑣲 dial tone I @atlaese
𑣲 lessons in lovemaking pt2 pt3 I @artficlly
You and Bucky Barnes go undercover as a married couple, but when a fake kiss gets too real, he unexpectedly finishes in his pants—leaving you both stunned.
𑣲 bitter I @/artficlly
Bucky doesn't do relationships, but maybe you'll be the one to change him
𑣲 his girls I @/artficlly
alpine barely tolerates anyone but bucky, so when she curls up in your lap without a second thought, the team is left reeling—especially when it leads to the not-so-subtle revelation that you and bucky have been sneaking around for months.
𑣲 loverboy I @thevillainswhore
Bucky, a lovesick, pining super soldier, vows to keep his feelings for you a secret — no matter how obvious his crush may seem. Those plans are ruined between a meddling Sam, an embarrassing fall, and a visit to the medbay with you.
𑣲 revenge sweeter than honey I @/thevillainswhore
When Bucky’s professor unfairly grades his college assignment, ruining his perfect GPA, he finds a way to get revenge — And doesn’t his sweet little wife look delicious?
𑣲 do i even have a chance? I @noceurous
you’ve found him and he was sure he didn’t have a chance
𑣲 b.b. boy I @bucky-bucket-barnes
Bucky and you have been friends ever since he arrived that rainy at the Compound. Silently pining, you’d hope he would pick on the numerous hints you dropped. It’s not until a small miscommunication happens that he confronts his feelings for you.
𑣲 hooked on you I @elysium-library
𑣲 which avenger are you destined to date I @marvelettesassemblenow
When Natasha found out about the Quiz which showed which Avenger you should date, the Avengers decided they all should take the test and go on these dates.
𑣲 your touch I @/marvelettesassemblenow
Bucky hadn’t been long at the compound when he noticed that others sought you out to calm down. So slowly he started too and had to figure out his feelings for you
𑣲 the catalyst I @aquaticmercy
In this universe, you and Bucky are happy. In other universes, it might not be that simple.
𑣲 jackass I @/aquaticmercy
Everyone is horrified that Bucky is flirting with a married woman, but then they realise there's a reason why.
𑣲 have we met before? I @/aquaticmercy
America Chavez says that you and Bucky are together in every universe.
𑣲 laryngitis I @skaye44
You're super talkative and your fellow agents tease you, but you don't care. You always chat up the quiet hunky super soldier who always manages to spend some time around you. One day when you can't talk due to an illness, Bucky gets concerned and seeks you out to make sure you're ok. He ends up talking to you for once.
𑣲 arm pat I @/skaye44
You go on a date with Bucky and hit it off, or so you think, but it ends weirdly. Nat steps in and gets other agents involved to send you flowers and gifts to get Bucky's attention and make him jealous for screwing up.
𑣲 stuck in the middle I @helaintoloki
you come home from work to find the last person on earth you want to see cooking dinner in your kitchen
𑣲 somethin’ stupid I @/helaintoloki
a drunken confession spoils a perfectly good evening
𑣲 everybody loves somebody I @/helaintoloki
Thrown into a blind date against his will, Bucky does his best to prepare in the days leading up to Saturday night, a feat that proves to be much more difficult than expected thanks to his neighbor across the hall.
𑣲 back to you I @/helaintoloki
Yelena’s interest in y/n forces Bucky to confront his feelings for her as the Thunderbolts take refuge in her home
𑣲 a favor I @/helaintoloki
you pretend to be Bucky’s girlfriend in order to help his campaign despite your very real feelings for him
𑣲 misunderstanding I @/helaintoloki
you accept Bucky’s invitation to attend Tony’s charity gala as his date, but your night quickly turns sour when you find out about his bet with Natasha
𑣲 40s!bucky I @/helaintoloki
after accidentally sending yourself back in time, you run into a younger version of the man you loathe only to find yourself questioning your feelings for him
𑣲 it’s been calling me I @godmadeaterribleerror
You've had these… dreams. Strange, realistic, detailed dreams of the same man, almost your whole life. But they're just dreams. You've been so sure, for so long, that they're just dreams. So sure, until you're not.
𑣲 the time thor third wheeled I @mercurial-chuckles
𑣲 option two I @nev3rfound
after nightmares continue to haunt his nights, bucky knows there’s one person left who could potentially provide some form of comfort, but is she still willing to see him after all this time?
𑣲 shut up I @fandoms-writings
𑣲 his only contact I @cjsinkythoughts
𑣲 the soldier and his mission I @magical-reid
When a trigger sends Bucky back into the grip of the Winter Soldier, he shadows you with an unyielding protectiveness that leaves the team on edge, though he doesn't harm anyone. After days of tension and careful steps, Bucky finally breaks through the icy barrier, returning to himself in a quiet, tender moment, finding solace in your presence.
𑣲 from one perfect moment pt2 I @yikesdrama
bucky’s birthday is coming up soon and you just want to do something special for him, maybe even take a time travelling trip to see his maa….
𑣲 the third wheel I @writing-for-marvel
When Bucky finally asks you out on a date, the last thing you expect is for his high school crush Connie to also have been invited.
𑣲 in too deep I @marvelstoriesepic
After Bucky calls, and you come running, you end up locked in his bathroom, trying to get rid of the evidence that something hasn’t gone well this time.
𑣲 drabble I @eufezco
𑣲 drabble I @bcksbarnes
𑣲 echos I @brokenbarnes
Bucky's worst nightmare comes true. You come back to him after taking a turn in Hydra's electric chair.

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At least if you want to send another chapter there will still be my dads name in the comments because even after OVER A YEAR I still haven't fixed that. So maybe it wasn't a year at all? 😂😂😂 (I'm still 98% sure that the random banana is going to play a huge role in another TAT chapter 😂🍌)
y'all better send some appreciation to @marvelettesassemblenow because even after i sometimes forget to text her for days i can send her the most random fanfic related things
#see so i havent mentioned the banana in a year#it was time (after time) 😂#i really need to go to sleep!
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merry crimmus 🥺🎄i hope you had a good one!!
Merry Chrisis, Brandy!! My "christmas" didn't really feel like christmas as we had a tree but didn't do presents this year or anything. We watched 2 christmas movies and I was only glad to get the days off of work, because they were super stressful! I hope it's a bit calmer today!
What about you? Did you have good holidays?? 😘
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Thank you so much, I'm so happy you enjoyed it!! 🥰
The Keychain

Pairing: Bucky x F Reader
Summary: When you asked your best friend Steve if Bucky would have liked you if you had known them before the war you didn’t know that you’d find out. Because Bucky was still alive and Steve would bring his friend back home, where you would gave anything to make him feel welcome.
Warnings: swearing, someone touches reader without consent (briefly mentioned) and reader is violent afterwards, a bad joke about Bucky's fall from the train
Word Count: 6.5k
A/N: This is the 3rd rewrite of this story. I actually wanted it to be way differently and wanted it to follow Civil War, but... this came out instead and is completely different than it should have been and also: why didn’t I include Alpine before this??
Steve was quiet next to you and then he did a double take when he saw what was sitting on your head. “I thought we didn’t want to raise attention?“ he asked.
“We are at the Captain America exhibition, so I think I’ll blend in just fine with my cap,“ you tipped the logo of your new purchase.
“Where did you even get that?“ Steve asked bewildered.
“They sell Captain America merchandise here. I even got something else, but I’ll show you later. Where do we want to start?“ Steve and you walked through the exhibition for a while. You stood extra long at the panel dedicated to Steve’s childhood friend and the tall blonde next to you looked sentimental. You grabbed his hand and squeezed it to show him he wasn’t alone and it pulled him out of his thoughts.
“This made it look like it was just a piece of cake. But I remember how it felt to not know if you find a place to sleep at night or if you have to sleep in the mud again. When you think you’ll never get dry again,“ he said finally when you walked past the part about WWII. You came into a movie room and when you saw Peggy Carter on the screen and Steve visible swallowing you announced that you had to go to the bathroom and would pick him up to give him some time.
Steve found you sitting on a stool and asked if you were ready to go. You nodded and you made your way to the exit. You walked to the subway and when you sat in the uncomfortable seats you opened your bag and pulled out a postcard and handed it to Steve. “It’s not like the original photo, but I thought you might like it.” He took the paper from your hand and was quiet for a while. “I can’t even remember when this was taken,” he admitted and looked at a younger Steve and his smiling friend.
“Do you think Bucky would have liked me?” you asked suddenly and Steve laughed.
“What makes you ask that?”
“Well you’re my best friend and he was your best friend then, so I wonder if we would have gotten along if the three of us would have been at the same time,” you shrugged your shoulders.
“Oh, I bet Bucky would have liked you a little bit too much. I bet I would have to threaten him every day and remind him that you’re my friend.” When he saw your questioning gaze he continued and nudged your side with his elbow. “Because you’re pretty. Also since when am I your best friend? What about Nat?”
“Don’t tell her,” you laughed. “But I’m glad you approved, because now I don’t feel so weird to put this on my bag.” Two keychains were pulled out of your bag before you fastened them on it. They were little replicas of Steve and Bucky. “Well I have to show support to my best friend and also I couldn’t pull them apart,” you mumbled the last part and Steve put one big arm around you and pulled you closer to him.
When Steve found out that Bucky was still alive and he finally found him and brought him around it was many years later. The bag where the keychains once hang was exchanged but you still kept the two tokens even though Steve was missing a foot and Bucky's nose was lost. They kind of became your good luck charm and you wouldn’t get rid of them even though you had to endure much teasing from Sam.
“I just don’t get why you don’t have a falcon one,” he said once he saw the two figures swinging when you walked by his side.
“Oh, don’t be mad. You’re still my background on the phone,” you said and pulled it out to prove him you didn't tell a lie.
“Oh come on, how did you even get a picture of that?” You quickly pressed the phone against you and chuckled.
“You know that there were security cameras? And you didn’t think that I would forget the time you flew into a wall, right?” you smirked. You and Sam teased each other a lot but you knew he had your back just like you knew he had yours. “So, do we have to get anything else?” you looked at the list in your hand and at the stuff in your cart.
“I think that’s it. Still not sure if they appreciate this though,” Sam gave his input and took the cart from you and walked into the direction of the checkout.
“Maybe, but Steve said that Bucky is doing better. And Steve has been gone for a while and so maybe he doesn’t want to join this little get together, but it shows that we welcome him with open arms,” you explained while following Sam.
You did spend a lot of work into preparing everything for Steve's and Bucky's arrival. Even if it didn’t look like it but you prepared food which would be way too much, just so you had anything to do. You had grabbed drinks and made cupcakes. You didn’t decorate anything as you didn’t want to overwhelm the newest arrival. FRIDAY announced Steves arrival and you couldn’t help yourself and stopped cleaning the dishes, wiped your hands on your shirt and made your way over to the entry.
You ran down the last stairs when you spotted the car and Steve getting out and ran into his arms. His arms closed around you and you inhaled the smell that you had missed for the last months. “I am so glad that you are back,” you mumbled into his chest and pressed him a little bit more against you. “Are you okay?” you asked when you stepped back and looked at him.
“I’m good,” he smiled at you and you nodded. You heard a car door closing and finally noticed the second person standing there. Steve introduced both of you with your names and you waved at him as you were still standing on the other side of the car and didn’t want to overstep anything.
“It’s so good to finally meet you,” you smiled at him. “We prepared a little get together, nothing fancy just some food and drinks. If you want to you’re very welcome to join us. If you’d prefer to eat on your own I can prepare a plate for you. But wait, let me just show you to your room.”
“Calm down,” Steve said and put an arm over your shoulder.
“Sorry,” you squeaked.
“Which room did Bucky get?” Steve asked and let go of you and waited for his old pal to join him.
“The one next to you, I thought it would be the best option,” you answered.
“But that,” Steve started but you interrupted him and told him you had already moved to the room next to Wanda.
“The walls are still in my color, but I thought you wanted to decided what colors you want so I didn’t want to paint it twice. We picked some furniture, but if you want to change anything or want to add anything don’t hesitate to ask. And if I ever need to shut up don’t hesitate to tell me. I tend to talk a lot when I’m nervous.”
“Thank you, I think I’ll like it just fine,” were the first words Bucky spoke to you. You gifted him another smile before the three of you entered the building.
You were about to tell them they could bring their stuff into their rooms before you would eat dinner, but you stopped in your track. “You’ve got to be kidding me?! Just once I want you to make a nice impression and you raid my food before they even arrived? It looks like a mess here, do you know how long I stood in the kitchen for this?”
Sam tried to look even remorseful and Nat mumbled a silent sorry, while Clint just stuffed his face and half of it landed on his shirt. You noticed that Wanda tried to put the food back together on the plates so it wouldn’t look like a hoard of pigs had just walked through it. Tony just mumbled that it was delicious while he was munching on a piece of bread and Rhodey agreed. You took a deep breath before you turned around and saw Steve with a big smile on his face. “Nice to see nothing has changed,” he grinned. “You ready to meet the group, or do you want to eat in your room?” The last question was pointed at Bucky.
“First seeing the room, then dinner here?” he asked more of a question and Steve agreed and pulled him into the right direction. You tried to put together at least a plate for each of the guys.
“This is a lot to take in,” Bucky said when it was just Steve and him on his way to his new quarters.
“I know, it does take a while to get used to it, but they mean really well. And she’s just nervous meeting you. She had heard so much about you, I think she might be afraid that you won’t like her,” Steve said and showed Bucky his room. There was a bed and some more furniture. A desk, a stool, a TV on the wall, a bathroom connected to the room, a dresser that was already part of the room and he noticed a moving box in the corner of the room. Both of the super soldiers just put down their stuff before they made their way back to the others.
You didn’t waste a second to press a plate in each of their hands and Tony took the time to introduce himself. “There are a few rules here, nothing to drastic. The floors are all under video surveillance, the rooms where you stay in aren't. But FRIDAY, the AI that I had the pleasure to make, is still available there. Just ask her if you need anything. Kitchen is for everyone, so label your stuff if you really want to have it for yourself.”
“That’s a lie, if you really want it keep it in your room. I’m Wanda,” a young woman came towards Bucky and waved at him.
“What else? We have a gym that you can use any time, you can walk everywhere on the compound, but we ask you to stay here as we haven’t really figured out the whole Winter Soldier thing. Shouldn’t take long though,” Tony continued and Bucky's face showed discomfort.
“Also if you want to bring someone over for the night make sure they really leave. That means you have to bring them to the gates and see them out. Very important,” you contributed and you heard a loud laugh behind you which caused your face to turn angry.
“I didn’t think that was funny either,” Steve said with a sour expression.
“None of us did,” Natasha added and introduced herself next to Bucky, who couldn’t get a break to eat. “Sam here had someone over for the night. And she said goodbye, left his room and wanted to go to Steves then.” She explained for Bucky.
You piped in. “But she got to my room instead and let me tell you, I screamed so hard when some girl started to grope me in the middle of the night. Then she chimed in.”
“At least she got to see Steve in his boxers, because he stormed inside the room to see if everything was okay. We had to escort her out of the compound,” Natasha continued.
“Let’s not forget about Clint who came running in butt naked,” Tony chimed in and a lot of groaning erupted in the room.
“Hi, I’m Clint and I like to sleep naked,” Clint waved from his place on the couch with a chicken leg in his hand.
“And this sounds like we’re in a self-help group,” you groaned. “So welcome Bucky, I’m so glad we made a very good first impression.”
But to everybody's surprise Bucky just chuckled and started eating. This reminded him of something that he couldn’t really place just yet. But somehow the word home wandered through his mind. A woman trying to put her children in their place.
A few days had passed since then. You didn’t see much of Bucky, which also meant you didn’t see Steve as much as you’d like to. You missed having his room next to yours as you often talked in the evening before going to bed. You walked to your old room and knocked. It took a while until Bucky opened the door and revealed himself in some sweats and a hoodie.
“Hey,” you smiled at him. “I think there might still be a box of me here.” You had finally put away all of your stuff when you noticed that your pictures were missing.
“Yeah, it’s still in the corner. Sorry, I should have come around and brought it to you,” he said and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll carry it to your room,” he offered and grabbed the box with ease before he followed you down the hall to another wing.
“Would you mind helping me putting these on?” you asked when you reached your room and opened the door.
“Yeah, sure,” Bucky replied and couldn’t help but to feel relieved that someone acted normal with him. Sure he had heard a lot about you with you being close friends with Steve, but there was still this voice inside his head that told him people would avoid him because of all the things he had done. It was no struggle at all with Bucky being taller than you to get the pictures where you wanted them. You noticed Bucky looking longer at the one of you and Steve on the day you went to the Captain America Exhibition.
“Tonight is movie night, if you want to join us,” you offered after you stepped back from pushing the left side of the picture of the team a little bit up. “I don’t actually know what we’re watching. We all put some suggestions in a bowl and pick one each time. It’s nothing fancy, everyone is in sweats or pj’s and a little bit of banter. But some came back from a mission today and we do these kind of things when we don’t want to be alone. Feel free to come.”
Bucky said he would think about it and said his goodbye before he left your room and walked back to his.
When he entered the movie room, he was baffled that such a thing even existed and a hand full of people were already there. There was actually a projector and a white wall in front of the big room. The walls were covered with heavy curtain and there were a few couches, seats and a love seat which looked big and inviting. Bucky walked towards it but stopped suddenly when you turned up in front of him. “You’re here,” he picked up the happiness in your voice. “Here’s a fair warning: This seat is for cuddling. There’s an unspoken rule. Sit on this seat and someone will join you and cuddle with you. No explanation or anything needed. So be prepared.” With a last smile you walked back to Steve and Nat with whom you’ve been talking to before. He actually doubted someone would join him, but he didn’t want to risk it and sat down on a seat instead with his legs sprawled in front of him.
It didn’t take long for the room to fill and he saw that you had taken a seat on the one he wanted to take first. He wondered if you’d have sit down if he had been there first. Instead he saw Natasha joining you and not long after that even Wanda. It seemed a bit crowded, but non of you seemed to mind. “Okay, hurry up. I have a mission tomorrow, I don’t want to go to bed late,” he heard your voice.
“You sound like an old woman,” Clint gave his input. “This is normally something Steve would say.”
“Yeah, but Steve isn’t going on this mission. Just me and the rookies,” you answered and watched as Sam picked up a piece of paper from a glass bowl on the side of the room.
“Mean Girls? Seriously? Who put this movie in there?”
“Whoop whoop, put it on, Sammy,” you hollored and Wanda snickered. Bucky thought the movie was dumb and a waste of time, but then he heard you laughing and he thought it wasn’t so bad at all. Natasha had actually fallen asleep and you quickly pushed a pillow behind her back when you stood up to go to bed.
The next three months you were quite busy. You were mostly on missions with the rookies and they got on your nerves. On the rare days you were home you trained with Sam, you had a coffee date with Steve and Bucky even tagged along (you managed to get him out of the compound with the promise of you and Steve watching him), you even had a girls night with Natasha and Wanda. And Bucky missed you! It wasn’t that the others were unfriendly or anything. They were nice, tried to include him as much as they could – or as much as he let them. But you made it kind of easier to let him in.
Bucky got his clearance two days ago and he couldn’t wait for you to hear the news. He knew that you’d be happy for him and he couldn’t wait to finally do something. But when you came back you had an aura around you that took him a while to figure out what it was. He had never seen you angry, that’s why it took him so long. “What happened?” Steve asked and forgot to put the rest of his sandwich in his mouth when he saw you in distress. The attention of all four Avengers in the room was on you.
“I am suspended,” you huffed.
“What?” Natasha asked while Sam could only mutter an “You?”
“Do you want to sit down?” Bucky asked and pointed at a stool next to him.
“No, I don’t want to sit down. I don’t want to calm down, I am angry as fuck. And while I might haven’t acted really professional I still think it was deserved.”
“Do you want to tell us what happened or do I need to put in a little research?” Natasha asked.
“I kicked a rookie in the face,” you sat and took a deep breath and then the adrenaline started to wear off. “Oh gosh, I kicked a fucking rookie in the face.”
“Did he deserve it?” Natasha asked.
“Why did you kick him in the face?” asked Steve.
“Are you okay?” was all Bucky could ask.
You shrugged your shoulders and finally took the place next to Bucky. “We just finished the mission and waited for the trucks to pick us up. I was standing at the side and took a breather and then that asshole came up to me and told me I looked tense and that he had a few technics for me that would help me let loose,” you huffed loudly. “Who says shit like that? Anyway, he touched me and I told him if he wouldn’t stop I’d kick him in the face. Not my brightest moment, but I was still pumped from the mission and got a little mad.”
“Was it the kick I showed you?” Natasha was like a proud mother when you nodded. You told them that you were suspended until the hearing and that the rookie was still allowed to train, because you were his superior and the hearing would be in two days. You walked to your room and the others waited until they picked up a conversation.
“We’re not letting him get away with this, are we?” Sam asked.
“The friend side of me says of course not. But the captain side of me says that we could compromise her hearing.” Steves phone beeped just in that moment and he told his three friends that he was asked to supervise the training next day as you weren’t allowed to. “Maybe I could bring a few friends to training. And I mean if I’d be super busy at the other end of the gym I wouldn’t see if someone would talk some sense into another person.”
“Yeah, I don’t think you’ve showed me this gym. I think I should take a look at it,” Bucky said.
“And we haven’t seen the progress in a while, right Nat. We should really take a look how far the guys and girls have come. We only need to get the name of the guy, but that shouldn't be a problem.”
“Great, so tomorrow at 7. Oh and Bucky, don’t use the metal arm,” Steve said, pushed himself from the table, nodded at his friends and made his way to your room to check if you were really okay.
Next day four Avengers were on a mission. Their own one. 6:45 they met at the entrance of the building where they lived to make their way over to the complex where the new recruits were training and living. It was rare these days that Steve came over for training. And even rarer that he had Sam and Nat with him. But when someone saw the glistening of Buckys hand they stopped in their tracks. Nobody knew that he was an Avenger now. Most of them hadn’t seen him around or even knew that he was on the complex.
They walked into the gym while Steve walked into the middle of the room the others stayed back at the wall. “See, I only helped us getting better training. Captain America hasn’t even come to our training once before.” Steves super hearing could pick up on the whisper and he shared a look with Bucky who had also heard what that guy was saying.
“Asshole thinks he didn’t do anything wrong, he just brags that he got better training now,” he mumbled to Sam and Nat. And then he heard something else. “Okay, change of plans. Nat, I’ll give you the honor. I would love nothing more that to show that piece of shit a lesson, but it seems like he isn’t really fond of woman showing him how to fight. So it would be more humiliating when you bring him to the mat, right?”
“Oh, it would be my honor,” the smile on the spys face was devious.
When you put on your formal clothes the next day you didn’t know that your team got out of its way to get a message across. But you weren’t so surprised when you saw a lot of them waiting for you. Steve would accompany you as your superior and Wanda, Natasha, Clint, Sam and Bucky would walk with you as moral support. You were quiet on your way and Sam pressed your shoulder before you walked into the room where usually briefings were held.
The hearing wasn’t actually that long and you were one of the last people who left the room along with the blonde super soldier. “Let’s go to the living quarters,” the Captain said without giving away the outcome of the conversation that had just taken place in the room. There were too much people standing around and so they walked back while flanking you.
As soon as the door closed behind them Sam asked if you could finally share what had been discussed.
“Well, he has to leave for one. It was the second complaint against him and he won’t be a part of the team anymore. I also noticed that he had a new shiner in his face, coincidence?” you asked.
“Well, his defense is shit. So the loss isn’t so big,” Natasha just shrugged.
“And I won’t work with the rookies for a while. They weren’t as mad as I thought they would be and they told me I could have handled it a bit better and they had to make an example. I’m not mad,” you shrugged, but in reality a burden was lifted from your shoulder. “So, guess I’m stuck with you for a while.”
“Oh that’s good, cause we got to keep our new teammate in check,” Steve said and you raised an eyebrow at him.
“Oh you didn’t hear the news? Cyborg is an avenger now,” Sam piped in.
“I told you to stop calling me that,” Bucky said with an eyeroll, but he didn’t miss the smile that was slowly stretching on your face.
"Barnes, what is that?” Tonys question let you raise your head.
“What is what?” Bucky answered really confused and let his gaze follow where Tonys finger was pointing at. “Oh no, I told you to stay outside,” Bucky grumbled once he spotted the white cat that seemed to be following him.
“We’re not a,” Tony stopped and turned around when he heard the noise of a can that had been opened. He wasn’t the only one listening closely as the ears of the cat were also high in the air. “Oh no, don’t you dare.”
“It lives on the compound and it kind of follows me every time I see it,” Bucky tried to explain the animal that was now hiding behind a couch and tried to get a glimpse at whatever you were doing.
You pushed the plate that was now filled with tuna towards Bucky who looked at you with an confused expression. “Feed it,” you said simply.
“Does anyone listen to me here? We don’t adopt strays here,” Tony tried to reason with you.
“You adopted us. And it isn’t a stray, it already lived on the compound. It just wants a little bit of warmth and food,” you tried to give him the puppy eyes and Tony left – not without throwing his arms in the air and mumbling something along the lines of what he did to deserve all of that. But with Tony gone it didn’t take much persuasion for the cat and before Bucky could place the plate on the floor the cat jumped up on the counter. It looked warily at the both of you before it decided it could sniff at the food and then it didn’t take long until the cat inhaled the tuna. “We’re going to keep it, right? If we can get it to use a litter box Tony can’t say anything against it.”
You were already on the phone scrolling through pages of cat stuff. “We need a name. And need to figure out if it’s a male or female. I already added cat food to the cart, we still need to decide what kind of cat beds we want,” you rambled and rambled while Bucky wasn’t sure if he should watch the cat or you. “We’re going to be the best cat parents ever. And I know the others will love it also,” your eyes sparkled and Bucky felt so lost in that moment without knowing why exactly.
It didn’t take long for the cat to gain a fan club. Sure, there were also a few haters, but the fuzzy animal had most of them wrapped around its little paw. It turned out to be a boy and Bucky named him Alpine. Alpines favorite place to sleep was Bucky’s bed or yours and Sam’s sock drawer for some weird reason, but Sam hated it. Which was just another plus in Bucky's opinion.
“Why the long face?” Natasha asked when you walked into the jet for your next mission.
“I lost Bucky,” you said with a frown on your face. Natasha pointed behind you where Bucky stood to see you off. “No, my good luck charm. I’ve had Bucky and Steve for years and now theres only Steve left with a lose keychain next to him. Feels like bad luck.”
“And like a déjà vu,” Nat mumbled and you slapped her arm. You walked back down the ramp where Bucky stood with Alpine on his arm.
“You didn’t say goodbye, sweetheart,” Bucky mumbled, his voice still heavy from sleep. You scratched Alpine under his chin and the cat started to purr.
“You were both still asleep and I won’t be long. Two days tops, so I didn’t want to wake you,” you replied. You had looked for Bucky, but when Friday told you he was still asleep you didn’t want to wake him. Sleep was rare for him these days. Bucky had started calling you sweet pet names and you couldn’t help the warm feeling that erupted in your stomach every time he called you one.
“Be careful,” he said and kissed your cheek. That was new!
“And you take care of our son,” you say, gave Alpine a last scratch before you walked back into the jet.
“Was that a kiss I spotted?” Natasha sing sang.
“And aren’t you super annoying this morning? Can we just start this mission?”
“I was just surprised, that’s all. Buckle up, fellow traveler.”
"For the last time, it is not the fault of some misplaced good luck charm,” Natasha grumbled.
“I didn’t misplace it, it fell off. And why do our missions turn sour since then? Your shoulder, Clints black eye, my wrist,” you started your list.
“Clint doesn’t count, this idiot is full of injuries all the time. And we just need more practice and be more careful. You also need to practice more with Steves shield, then you won’t have the problem with the wrist anymore when you try to catch it. Steve will meet us in the training room so we can work on that,” Natasha said and pulled you along.
“Good morning, ladies,” you heard Bucky's voice, but when you looked up you stopped in your track. This was not the Bucky you knew. Your mouth opened and closed but no words came out of it.
“Looking good, Barnes,” Natasha nodded at him and pulled you further towards the gym.
“See and that is the next tragedy. When did he cut his hair?” you finally said after a few more steps.
“You like the long hair better?” she asked you and opened the door for you.
“Yeah, no, I don’t know. He just doesn’t look like my Bucky now,” you shrugged and realized what you just had said. “Doesn’t really make any sense, does it?”
“It makes more sense than you know,” Natasha patted your arm and walked towards Steve.
Bucky didn’t know if you liked the new haircut or not. You also didn’t know the reason behind it and the surprise would take a few days. It was no secret that you were devasted that you lost one half of your keychains. So Steve and Bucky came up with a plan and for that Bucky needed his old haircut back. The both of them had managed to get their old outfits and posed a ridiculous long time in a cabin for some fancy 3D printer which would do a replica of him and Steve so they could make a keychain of it and give it to you.
But now Bucky was insecure. You hadn’t commented on the haircut, but you had definitely noticed it. But was it a good reaction or a bad one?
He was sitting on the couch with his phone in his hand to read some news when he heard the noise that alerted him to people getting nearer. Alpine who was laying on his feet raised lazily his head, which meant his other favorite person was around. You let yourself fall next to his feet and the cat who walked over to your lap to get a few extra pets. Suddenly you chuckled.
“Buck, are you wearing pink socks?” You thought maybe there was an accident and someone else socks had found their way in his drawer.
“Yeah, of course. It’s Wednesday and on Wednesday we wear pink,” he said with an earnest expression and looked at you with a gaze that asked you if there was any problem. “I wear them every Wednesday.” This caused you to laugh. Not the I-make-fun-of-you-laugh, but a full belly laugh of glee. Who would have thought that Bucky Barnes, the ex Winter Soldier, would wear pink socks because you had made him watch a teen movie months ago.
“Never change, Buck,” you stood up, plopped Alpine on his old place and kissed Bucky's cheek before you walked to your room.
“Did I tell you about the day that she went with me to the Smithsonian?” Steve said when he sat down next the cat, who just wanted his peace and jumped from the couch to find a quiet place.
“Not sure, why?" Bucky replied and put his feet on the ground.
“She asked me if you would have liked her. And I said probably too much and that I had to threaten you, because she was my pretty friend,” Bucky was about to say something when Steve put up his hand to show him he wasn’t done talking. “But you are also my friend and I think both of you are quite dumb, so here’s my unwanted advice. Go for it. She likes you, you like her, you both smile so much around each other and you even own a cat together. Take her on a date.” Bucky wasn’t so sure, what he should reply to that. “And I would add that part that I’d beat you up if you treat her wrong, but I know she has a mean kick. Maybe I’d hold you back,” Steve shrugged and turned on the TV as if he hadn’t turned Bucky's world upside down just now.
“There is a nice little place on the compound behind the forest with wildflowers. It’s actually where I saw Alpine for the first time. Do you think she would like a picnic there?” Bucky said after a while.
“I think she would love that,” Steve answered honestly.
“Okay, I’ll ask her,” Bucky jumped up. If he didn’t ask you now, he didn’t know if he would do it again. He quickly walked over to your room and knocked on the door. You didn’t open it and he tried again until he heard you yelling to wait. When you finally opened the door he knew why it took you so long. You clearly just came out of the shower and had rushed to get dressed. “Where’s the fire?” you asked.
“There is this nice place I want to take you. It’s here on the compound actually and I wanted to ask if you wanted to go on a date there with me,” the words tumbled from Bucky's mouth and he wasn’t sure if he had called it a date or not.
“Yeah, I’d like to go on a date with you. Will you pick me up? Tomorrow?” Bucky agreed and he couldn’t wait for the next day.
He woke up early and walked towards the meadow to bring a blanket and a pillow so you wouldn’t have to sit on the hard ground and a basket filled with food and drinks. He was giddy and he was actually too early, but it was no problem as you were also ready. When the two of you made your way outside you saw that Alpine accompany you.
The weather was nice, the sun was shining but it wasn’t so hot. When you reached the destination, you were only a little bit surprised that Bucky had already prepared something. Alpine was chasing some mice and the white fur could be spotted between the wildflowers. “This is nice,” you said when you put down the blanket and sat down. You refused to sit on the pillow if Bucky had to sit on the floor.
You noticed that Bucky sometimes wanted to put his hair behind his ear, only to grab the air because he didn’t get used to the short hair and you had to ask. “Why did you cut it?”
“Funny that you ask today, sweetheart. Actually, the reason arrived today and I have to admit that it was Steves idea and it’s not a present from me but from us.” He pulled a little box out of the basket.
You didn’t waste any time to open it and your breath hitched. “What is this?” you asked and pulled out the keychain. You held a little Bucky and Steve in your hand, joined through the hand that Steve had put on Bucky's shoulder and it was only one keychain. There was no way that you would put this on your bag again, this was way too precious. “Did you even... is that your old uniform? This is so nice, thank you,” you grabbed his hand, full of emotion that you couldn’t express.
“Do you know that this is the place where I saw Alpine for the first time?” Bucky said after you put your new keychain carefully back in the box.
“No, I don’t think I know this story. So, this is a special place then?” you asked when you laid back Bucky felt the warmth your body radiated when you were so close to him.
“It is indeed,” he said and looked at you. As if the cat knew that he was part of the topic he came over and sniffed at the basket. You rolled over to your side and looked up at Bucky who watched the little feline until he closed the basket.
“It could be also the place where we had our first kiss,” you said boldly and Bucky's gaze fell from the cat to you in a millisecond. “If you want to, that is,” you added with a small smile on your lips. Lips that Bucky wanted to kiss, but he was a little bit shocked from your boldness. You were about to say something else when you couldn’t because Bucky's lips were pressed against yours. Careful somehow and when you put your free hand on his neck and his arm settled around your waist.
“Definitely a special place,” he said before he captured your lips again. After a while you parted and Bucky started talking again. “So, this is the place where Alpine decided to be a part of our family and the place of our first kiss and maybe it could also become the place where you agreed to be my girlfriend?”
“I think that could be arranged, boyfriend,” you said and placed your head against his chest and he kissed your forehead.
“Don’t ruin the moment,” you heard Bucky mumble and saw Alpine climbing his leg until he decided that the spot right between you and Bucky was special enough for a nap. You smiled and pressed yourself a little bit more against your now boyfriend and he sighed pleased. A nap didn’t sound so bad right now.
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I love this fic! And it also always made me a little sad, because do you remember our conversation? I told you I was afraid to enter your challenge because everyone was leaving Tumblr once I published something for a challenge? You told me to not worry, you wouldn't do that... Well now you're back 🥳🥳🥳
Now I'll remember this fic with your comeback! Thank you so much for bringing it back and I'm so glad you like it! 🩷 I remember us talking about 40's Steve and Bucky and so I'm especially happy that you even remembered them.
A Love Like Ours
Pairing: Stucky x female reader
Summary: 40s fic: Steve, Bucky and you – there was barely a moment when the three of you weren’t together. A friendship like that was rare and you were all looking out for each other. But with ups came downs and then Bucky had to leave for the war – and Steve followed.
Word Count: ~4.2k
Warnings: angst to fluff with a happy ending, mentions of war and possible death, mentions of losing weight (its not described how the reader looks though, just that the clothes are a little bit more lose) due to side effects of war and me not having a clue how it really has been
A/N: This is for @motsdouxdejanie Forget-Me-Not creative challenge. When I saw the prompts I knew immediately that it had to be a 40s fic and then I couldn’t decide if it should be a Steve or Bucky fic, so this happened. Thank you sooo much for beta reading this @jenniweaslee and the prompts I used were:
Snowdrop = friend(s) in need / consolation / “I promise I’m always here for you.”
Heath = healing from within / “Wish me luck.” / wishes coming true
Holly = “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten?”
Ivy Geranium = “May I have the next dance?”
Having a friendship with Steve Rogers and James “Bucky” Barnes was one of the best things that could have ever happened to you – even though it was hard sometimes. Like right in that moment. “Steve, open up!” your fist hammered against the door. You were sure that Steve’s neighbour would come out and complain soon, but you hadn’t seen Steve in two days and his spare key wasn’t where it used to be.
After a phone call with your other friend who also had not seen the young blonde in days, you were on your way to check in on him. Both of you were concerned with Steve’s health, especially now that Steve was living on his own. “Steve Rogers, you open the door right now, or else!” You stopped, as you didn’t know what to do then. You would have to call Bucky so that he could break open the door, but that would mean that you had to either bike home or to Bucky’s place. Which would mean that your plans for the evening would be ruined. Asking Steve’s neighbour if you could use her phone was out of question, as she didn’t like you. She was old and she was a firm believer about women not going unchaperoned into a man’s apartment.Your family didn’t share the same opinion and it was even less of a problem with them, since you have been friends with the two guys since you were little. “Steve,” you tried for the last time and then you heard the faint sound of footsteps and the clicking before the door was opened. “Oh Steve,” you said, once you got a good look at him. “Why didn’t you call us?” You pushed him softly out of the way, so you could enter the apartment.
“It’s not that bad,” Steve croaked as you closed the door and pushed him towards the small living room with the kitchen.
“It is freezing in here, Steve.”
“I’m out of coals,” he mumbled and you pushed him towards the couch.
“Okay, we’ll work on that. Bucky will bring some and I’ll make you something warm to eat,” you promised and went into his bedroom to grab a blanket and an extra pair of socks. After wrapping him in two blankets and struggling to get the socks on his feet, you went over to the phone. Steve couldn’t make out what you were saying, as sleep was taking over.
The next thing he knew was that he felt warm and he smelled something nice. He could also hear hushed voices. “He should move in with one of us. He is sick and no one knew! It was freezing in here and I just don’t know why he didn’t call for help,” he heard your voice say.
“Come here,” that must have been Bucky. “We’ll figure something out, but first we need to get Stevie back to health. I’ll check in on him, see if he can eat some of your soup.”
“Hey punk,” he heard Bucky’s voice before he saw his head in front of him. “You scared us. Want some soup?”
“I’m sorry,” Steve’s voice was quiet and so he just nodded to show he was up for something warm. Not long after that he was squeezed between his two best friends, sharing their blanket and body warmth. “Did you came from work?” he asked Bucky when he took in his attire.
“Yup, I brought some coals on the way,” he confirmed and slurped his soup loudly.
He looked at his other side and only noticed then the styled hair and the make-up on your face. “Oh no, your date,” Steve said, ashamed.
“Don’t worry, Steve,” you patted his leg over the blanket. “I cancelled. I’d rather be here anyway.” He saw you shrugging but he remembered how excited you were when you were asked out. And that was exactly why Steve felt guilty. He kept his best friends from living their life.
“I don’t want to be your pity date,” Steve grumbled and you threw your hands in the air. This man would be the reason for you to get your first grey hairs!
“Okay, good. I’ll ask someone else then,” you huffed and walked away. You were annoyed! Steve’s mood was bad. Since Bucky got his orders and he wasn’t accepted, Steve kept trying and it was exhausting. Doubling that with the worry and fear you had for Bucky, made you miserable as well. But this was Bucky’s last night here and even if you could do nothing else, you wanted him to have a nice memory to look back on.
You and Bucky had begged Steve to move in with you when Bucky’s letter came. Even your tears hadn’t helped. Why did both of your friends have to be so stubborn? That night had ended with a sleepover with the three of you, everyone touching, afraid that it would never be the same again.
“Is the punk causing trouble?” An arm was slung around your shoulder.
“He is in a mood. Don’t know how I will keep him in check without you here,” you admitted. “You better come back to help me out,” you added and slung your arm around his waist and squeezed before you let go again.
“You’ll manage, you always do. Will you bring someone tonight?” he asked.
“I asked Steve, he said he didn’t want a pity date,” you answered and he picked up the sad tone in your voice. “I’ll find someone. If not, I’ll come alone, it won’t be a problem.”
“Okay, I could always,” he started to offer to come alone too, but you interrupted him immediately, telling him he shouldn’t have to do that and that you’d see him later in the day.
And so a few hours later, you were at the Stark Expo with your two best friends. You didn’t ask anyone to come with you, simply because it was Bucky’s last night and you didn’t want to divide your attention. While Steve didn’t want to be your pity date, he sure didn’t have a problem with the extra girl that Bucky brought along. Although she did not seem as excited as Bucky’s date. You were walking with the four of them and when you saw a photo booth, you immediately got excited! And while the girl on Bucky’s arm seemed excited too, her smile faded once her date grabbed you and Steve by the arm and pulled you along. You actually never really saw the picture that was taken as Bucky pocketed it once he was handed it. He offered to take one with his date afterwards and she seemed pleased at that. You noticed though that this time he handed her the picture, but the one of the three of you was still safely in his new military uniform.
You had a good night – until you came across the military propaganda. Then the usual fight broke out again, but this time you didn’t hold back.
“Why are you so determined to get killed?” you yelled at Steve when he wanted to try to get into the army again.
“I know I am sick, you don’t have to remind me every chance you get. That’s why I want to do it, I want to give something back. I want to help! I am useless here, I can’t provide for anyone.”
“So getting killed is better? It’s okay that Bucky has to leave? And you’re so set on leaving me too? What do you think will happen there, Stevie? What will you do when it gets cold? Your body can’t handle the cold here, how will it handle it in a war?” You were so angry, tears started to gather in your eyes. “What is so wrong with staying here and staying safe? We help from here too! This,” you pointed at the stupid sign that you hated so much “will be your death. Whether you want to hear it or not. And I simply don’t want to lose you!”
When you looked into Steve’s eyes, you saw that his opinion hadn’t changed and it was your cue to leave. You needed to get away for a while.
You never went to bed angry at each other. If you had a fight, you would apologize and so you expected to see Steve that night. But when only Bucky stood in front of your door, you started to cry again. Your tears soaked Bucky’s new uniform. “He’ll come around. I told him to keep an eye out for you. You have to promise me that you’ll look out for each other!”
“I will, if you promise to take care of yourself.” He promised and when he left, you saw tears in his eyes too. You knew that he would shed them once you were out of view. You didn’t really sleep that night and Bucky told you not to send him off, so you made your way over to Steve to clear the air and suffer together. Before you could go inside or knock, you spotted an envelope with your name on it at the door.
You don’t have any idea how hard it is for me to write this letter. You might think that I don’t care about you, but that couldn’t be further from the truth! That’s why I’m writing to you – because I know if I looked into your eyes, I wouldn’t be able to go. I need to do this, I need to do it for myself. I know you say all the time that we look out for each other, but it always feels like just you and Bucky are looking out for me. I have an opportunity to prove myself now – for you, for Buck, for me. Please don’t cry, I promise I’ll come back to you. I promise I’m always here for you. I’ll write you as soon as I can.
Yours always,
Steve
You came to talk to your friend, hug it out and be there for each other. Now your heart was breaking even more because you’ve also lost Steve. For over a decade, it was always Bucky, Steve and you. And now without them there with you, you felt lost. Letters started to arrive from both of them. Bucky’s letters were more about your wellbeing and advice and telling you to not take the job at the factory. Then suddenly his letters took a turn. They were full of memories that the three of you shared and your heart ached, because you couldn’t be there for him. You were sure that he wasn’t feeling his best, as he never mentioned anything going on over there.
Steve’s letters were something else. Mostly because Steve was different in some aspects. He told you all about what he went through. You had to read the letter at least four times before you could comprehend that that stupid punk had let himself injected with something to make him stronger without thinking twice about it. But his letters were more optimistic and at least he was happy that he could finally do what he had always wanted.
You haven’t gone dancing in ages. Simply because there hadn’t been a reason for you to go. However, with the men slowly returning from war, the dance halls were getting more attention. And so you hadn’t found a reason to say no to your coworker when she begged you to accompany her that night.
Your shoes were uncomfortable as you hadn’t worn them in ages. Your dress was a little bit more loose than it should be, but that was a problem most people had these days. Looking in the mirror reminded you of Steve and how you and Bucky were always determined to bring back home more food, so that his clothes would not be that loose anymore. Your thoughts went to your best friends and your heart ached, but that wasn’t unusual. You hadn’t heard from them in a while. Before you could suffer more, you grabbed your coat and went to pick up your coworker.
The dance hall was pretty crowded when you arrived. The men were doing rounds to dance with as many women as they could. After two dances you went over to the bar to grab a drink. It was also crowded there, but suddenly most of them left and went in the direction of the door. You quickly ordered a drink since you now had the attention of the bartender.
“May I have the next dance?” a voice next to you asked. You were about to decline when you turned around and saw the face of the man asking you. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten that you promised me a dance before I left?” He smirked and you threw yourself at him.
“Are you for real?” you asked. You stepped back without letting go of him just so you could get a closer look at him. “Are you really here?” Maybe your eyes were playing a joke on you – it wasn’t the first time you daydreamed that your guys would come back but this felt so real.
“I’m here, doll. I came back to you,” he confirmed. “I brought Steve too.”
A breath of relief left your lips. “Where is he?” You looked around. The group of people were blocking your view, but you couldn’t spot Steve.
“He may look a bit different now.” Bucky turned you around so you were facing the crowd without his arm leaving your waist. “Maybe a bit taller too,” he pointed at a tall guy looking overwhelmed until his eyes met yours.
“No way,” you said, but the smile that grew on the blonde’s face told you that it was really your Stevie. The crowd parted as he walked directly towards you. Your name left his lips and suddenly you were in an unfamiliar hug.
“I missed you. I missed you so much,” Steve repeated and didn’t let go of you, not even when someone cleared his throat repeatedly next to him.
“Excuse me,” someone said.
“No, I’m sorry. Can’t you see that there's a reunion happening here? You’re interrupting.” You heard Bucky’s voice, but Steve didn’t seem to care and neither did you as you couldn’t process that both of them were really here. When Bucky is about to shoo another person away, you finally let go of each other.
“What is going on?” you asked Steve and put a hand on his face that was oddly familiar and still strange at the same time. “What do they want?” Your eyes wandered from Steve’s face to Bucky’s and you noticed the crowd that had gathered around you.
“Can you tell us the story how your saved the life of almost a whole garrison?” someone asked.
“Imagine we get to hear the story from Captain America himself!” someone whisper yelled.
“Captain America?” you asked confused. Of course you had heard about him, the placards were everywhere but you didn’t really look at them. You tried to ignore everything, especially the stuff that tried to get even more people to join the war.
“Can we get out of here?” Steve asked you and you nodded. You told them you had to use the bathroom before you could leave and you promised to see them outside. There were two women already in the bathroom as you went into an empty stall.
“It’s not fair,” you heard their voices over the faint music that was coming from the hall. “They didn’t even look at anyone else.”
“They’ve been friends forever. Of course they would stop to see her first. You better get on her good side, they won’t even look at someone who can’t get along with her. Kind of annoying, but if that’s what I have to do, I will. I would have never thought that Steve would get more attractive than Bucky, can you…” the second voice cut off as they left the room. You were confused what you had heard. Is this what people thought about? You quickly finished your business and washed your hands and went outside to find your friends.
“You ready to go?” Bucky asked you as soon as you stepped outside and fastened the belt of your coat. Just to your right were two women touching Steve’s arm. You nodded towards Bucky. “You coming, punk?” He yelled and put your arm through his as if he never went away. You started walking in the direction of your apartment and only a few steps later, you felt an unfamiliar hand on your back. You turned around to take a look and saw Steve – the new Steve with that strange but oddly familiar face.
“Do you still live above Mrs. Hudson's place?” Steve asked and you nodded. At least his voice hadn’t changed at all.
“She will be glad to see that you both made it back. She was always fond of you,” you replied. The walk to your apartment wasn’t long and it was filled with a silence that was unusual, but somehow you felt that the talk the three of you had to have would be better suited to be held inside. And you were all well past the part where you would do small talk, but it still felt good to have both of your guys touching you.
The guys followed you into the flat and pulled of their shoes immediately and put them next to yours. You didn’t know what it was, but the sight of their shoes next to you was your breaking point. Suddenly you started to sob and two arms wrapped around you before you could even realize what was going on.
“We’re here. We’re okay,” Steve’s voice said into your ear and he mumbled promises and assured you that they were both back until you calmed down. You almost apologized, but then thought better of it. There was nothing that you needed to apologize for. Steve guided you towards your living room where your old couch stood. Bucky had already filled a glass with water and held it out to you while Steve dabbed your tears away with a tissue.
Suddenly there was knocking on your door. Bucky and Steve shared a glance that you missed, as you were wiping the last tears away with your hands when you stood up to open the door. It was kind of late, that meant it could only be one person. It was confirmed when you heard your name through the door.
“Hi Mrs. Hudson,” you greeted your landlady at the door.
“I heard some noises and wanted to make sure that you’re okay,” the little lady said but stopped when she saw your face. You knew that she wanted to ask, but was afraid to do so. There had been too many tears lately, but then her eyes grew wide when she looked behind you. “Your boys are back? Oh, this must be happy tears then.” She made a motion for them to come nearer, but when they took too long, she stepped around you and hugged first Bucky and then Steve. She didn’t comment on their appearances. “I’m happy you guys made it back! I tried to look out for your girl, but she’s a stubborn one. Oh, I forgot who I’m talking to – I'm getting old and I tend to forget things, but you both know her way better than I do. She helped a lot around here and I hope that I will see her smiling again soon.” She patted both of their hands. “I will let you alone now, I bet you have a lot to catch up on.”
Before she walked through the door she turned towards you again. “See I told you these two would come back to you. Not even a war can break a love like that.” Then she walked down the stairs and you stood at the door with your mouth wide open. A love like that?
“What’s with that expression?” Bucky asked and closed the door as you were still standing there. “Don’t tell me you only realized it now?” he laughed, but when you didn’t reply, he turned serious.
“This isn’t a talk we should have in the hallway,” Steve’s voice came from the background. And so you found yourself again on your couch with the two of them.
“This is a lot,” you finally said and closed your eyes for a second. “Where are you guys staying? They gave away your flat,” you patted Steve’s leg and stood up to disappear in your bedroom. Under your bed was a box that you took out. You tried to blew the dust of the cover but gave up soon. “I managed to sneak in and rescued a few things.” You placed the box on his lap and stared expectantly at him. Slowly he opened the lid. Inside were a few things: A small bottle with perfume, almost empty, but it still smelled like his mom, his mom's book with recipes, a sketchbook from him and a few pictures.
“I had to take them out of their frames because it got so heavy and I didn’t have as much time as I wish I had. But I thought it was important to save these,” you apologized. Slowly, Steve put the box between him and Bucky on the couch. He then got up, closed the gap between the two of you with one step, grabbed your shoulders and pressed his lips to yours.
“Steve,” you heard a complaint, but you didn’t really care. “Come on, we talked about this.”
Steve’s lips left yours and instead his forehead pressed against yours. “I love you,” he said without an ounce of a doubt.
“Now you’re throwing the whole plan away,” you heard Bucky and this time you didn’t ignore him.
“What plan?” you asked confused.
Bucky came closer and put his hand on your back and his other on Steve’s. “Oh, we had a plan how to tell you that we’re in love with you. We actually wanted to go easy on you and not kiss you without a warning,” he was looking at Steve now, who didn’t look guilty at all.
“You’ve already kissed her,” Steve retorted.
“Punk, we were nine and it didn’t even count. We were just jealous that you had your first kiss already and we didn’t.”
“And now you’re jealous, because I kissed her and you didn’t.”
“Guys!” you interrupted them. Both of them looked sheepishly at you. “You love me?”
“So much!” Bucky affirmed. “We just didn’t really realize what it was. We had time, so many long nights when we were away and we talked and asked ourselves why we were so blind. It has always been you and Stevie for me.”
“I always thought you would end up with Bucky. I didn’t think you’d want me, but now that I am healthy…I hope…,” Steve added.
“Steve Rogers, you stop there right now! You always had a chance, you donkey.” You could hear Bucky snicker. “In fact, I asked you to go on a date with me and you refused. Whatever this is,” you stepped away to point up and down his body, “doesn’t change who you are. I don’t care about your body, I care about the caring, stubborn human inside. You broke my heart when you left. Bucky had to go, but you had a chance to stay and you decided to leave me.” You stopped for a moment and looked at both of them. While you had stepped away from them, they had stayed close together with Bucky’s hand wrapped around the taller one’s back. “Did you... did you leave so you could look after Bucky? I can’t believe you’re doing it again! Every time you’re do something reckless, you give me a reason to not stay mad at you.”
“He wouldn’t be Steve, if he didn’t,” Bucky confirmed. He came closer. “Can I kiss you too?” He asked and you nodded. How could you not? Bucky’s kiss was softer, more like he treasured the moment, while Steve’s felt like he would burst if he didn’t get the contact he wanted. “I love you too, so much,” Bucky mumbled against your lips, not ready to lose the contact yet.
“And I love you,” you grabbed his face and stroked his cheeks with your thumbs.
“So, about where we’ll stay… We would have crashed at my mom’s place, but it’s already late. So maybe we could stay here?” You hit his chest, as you knew that was his plan all along.
“Hey careful,” he said and you stopped, afraid that you had hurt him. “There’s something important there.” He pulled out a photo. Bucky had told you that he had carried it everywhere and handed it to you. It was the photo you had taken on your last night together. While you smiled at the camera, Bucky looked at you full of love and Steve was looking at Bucky as if he had hung the moon.
“Yeah sure, it might be a bit tight, but you can stay here,” you said, your gaze not leaving the picture and missing the relieved look the both of them shared.
When Steve said your name, you finally looked up and saw the two of them holding each other while facing you. “We won’t leave you again, we promise,” he said and you placed the photo carefully on the table before joining them in their embrace. You could talk about everything else tomorrow, or the day after that, because now you were finally together again and you felt whole.
I actually enjoyed writing this so much! If you made it this far and liked it - it would make my day to see a reblog or small comment! <3
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Aw Bucky, you big softie! I love that he changed his mind and that it was actually Becca pointing it out for him - I mean he wouldn't be Bucky if he would figure it own on his own. But I can see his reasoning and I loved to see a snippet from his POV 😍💚
❤️ a good time!
tat!bucky’s favorite (or least favorite) thing about twelve
… why not both?
cause and effect
chapter summary: How Bucky fell in love with Twelve: Slowly, and then all at once.
pairing: bucky barnes x time witch!reader
word count: 1.8k
warnings: light angst and negative self talk (this is bucky y'all); some light pining 🤭please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.
a/n: i've literally had this one in my drafts for about two years and i hadn't actually planned on posting it for a while yet but i did promise distractions. and i missed him. i always do.
this is part of the time after time universe but can be read as a teaser and/or a standalone 💚
Bucky’s relationship with time has been fractured ever since a cold day in January that stole away the life he was headed towards and turned him into the monster underneath a child’s bed.
It’s hard to feel good about the concept of time travel once a lot of your own time has been taken away from you. Even now, there’s only so many things in his life he has control over; like the fact that he’s actively choosing to go back to therapy now, or that he’s able to keep a pet for the first time since he was thirteen years old. Stupid little things, like what kind of food he wants for lunch or whether he should take the stairs or the elevator.
Every single one of these things he’s fought for tooth and nail, clawing his way out of the past and carving out his own space in reality again, struggling, trying, hanging on like he wasn’t able to all those decades ago.
He’s probably still failing.
Some days, clinging to the present is tense and brings him nothing but grief. Sometimes, it feels like he’s going to have to mourn the past forever, whatever might have been; and maybe that’s his sentence.
He wouldn’t have wished it on anyone. He deserves worse.
And then there’s you.
Flickering in and out of time, constantly moving, changing in the time it takes him to blink.
It’s infuriating to him, the way you get to use your powers. The way you don’t need to think about consequences, because they don’t have to be permanent, don’t have to be something you need to live with for the rest of your life. To you, time has always been something that can be changed with a single snap of your fingers. Whatever you do can just as easily be undone.
Once you decide you’ve seen enough, you can just take the scene from the top.
And you’re so stubborn.
You’ve already seen how this goes on if you let it, and so you’re always right, end of story. There’s an ease to your steps because of it, a nonchalance in every movement, and it makes Bucky’s blood boil to see it so plainly.
With all the good that you could do, you choose to do nothing instead; to stay out of the picture entirely and burn through your powers just because you can, wasting them all on things that don’t mean anything.
How many lives could you potentially save?
Instead, you consume disturbing amounts of caffeine and then continue to provide running commentary to the world around you based on things that, to him, never happen at all. "Do this", "don’t do that", "take the other one", or, his absolute favorite, "don’t make me fix that".
Why not? he wants to ask, say, demand. Why not fix all of it?
It takes a while for him to realize that all of your fire means you’re burning from both ends. In fact, it takes Becca.
"You should bring her by sometime," she tells him on a rainy afternoon. "While I’m still alive and kicking."
His little sister just turned ninety-eight. Her kitchen sideboard is filled with black-and-white pictures reminding him of all the things in her life that he missed, arranged in perfect little wooden frames.
"And why would I do that?" Bucky asks, scowling at his cards.
"Because you keep mentioning her," Rebecca says dryly and whisks the cards onto her pile with quick fingers.
"You gotta be kidding me," he groans, noting down her points. "And I don’t."
"Do, too. I don’t remember you being this terrible at this game."
"Because I haven’t caught you when you’re cheating."
"Exactly. It’s embarrassing." She wins the next trick, too. "How’s Tuesday?"
"Am I clairvoyant now?"
"I was thinking lunch."
"No." Finally, he gets a couple of points down. When he glances up at his sister again, she’s looking at him expectantly and he sighs. "What?"
"You can’t fault me for being curious," she says. She has just as many opinions as she did when she was sixteen. Her eyes are still the same, too, the same shade of blue as his and the same glimmer of archness as their mother.
"Don’t you think it’s weird?" Bucky says, finally giving in. "The whole … time thing?"
"I think it’s very weird, but so’s you returning from the dead and kvetching about it." Her eyes narrow when he starts to protest. His mouth closes again. "Besides," she continues, shuffling her hand around, "it doesn’t sound all that fun."
"To have the power to never make mistakes?"
"To have to live through every mistake twice without anyone knowing."
Something about her words strikes him like a match, and so he tilts his head and squints at her and thinks that maybe, just maybe, he’s got it wrong.
That you carry not only your past, but all the futures you’ve seen that never came to be; all the what ifs having turned into answers.
And he thinks, how nice. And then he thinks, how horrifying.
It’s a thought that follows him over the next couple of weeks, and it starts reframing your interactions for him, in a way.
"Will you stop staring at me," you say without looking up from your book.
Honestly, he can’t. He’s still trying to pick up on it, the split second between before and after, that little change of your posture, your hair, your face, that tells him more time has passed for you than it has for him.
It’s more of a feeling than anything else, something right at the back of his mind telling him that something is different if he concentrates on it enough, but he’s never sure what it is. And he doesn’t like that; not one bit.
So Bucky crosses his arms and leans back. "Why?"
A flash of irritation makes your nose twitch, even though you still refuse to meet his eye.
"It’s rude, for one."
"Noted." He waits for the two that never comes. "Anything else?"
And there it is. A blink-and-you-miss-it kind of moment, like the air shifting around you ever so slightly, a certain knowing glint in your eyes when you roll them and get up.
"Annoying!"
He can’t help it. He wonders what your original answer was.
***
Bucky’s relationship with time changes slowly, the deepest cuts carefully mending themselves until looking back doesn’t feel like getting his bones ripped apart anymore, until he looks at you on a cold day in January and realizes he’s fucked.
At first, he hopes that it might be a fluke. A trick of the light, maybe, or seasonal allergies. That’s the reason why his eyes are drawn to your face as soon as he enters a room; the closest source of discomfort always the thing he seeks out first. That’s the reason why his chest constricts like that.
But the truth is, he knows this feeling has been building slowly; he’s just been unwilling to admit it.
Something soft and delicate has started to nestle in that gaping hole inside his chest, unbothered by the walls he’s so carefully built up.
He’d never planned on you.
Fuck, if he’d known in the beginning, he might’ve …
No, he thinks. He wouldn’t have changed anything.
Because you’re too good for him, anyway, and he knows it. Smart and strong and funny and gorgeous and capable of things he’s not sure he’ll ever fully comprehend; and it’s worse than that, because he knows you now.
You’re grouchy in the mornings and you make terrible jokes when you’re nervous and you have a strange feud with his cat and your smile makes him want to put his fist through the wall because what is he supposed to do with any of this?
He’s not made for this dance anymore. That part was taken from him so long ago, and he’s delusional to think that anything or anyone could return it to him after all the bridges he’d been made to cross and burn. Why would someone like him deserve to be given tenderness anymore in this life? Why would anyone want to try?
But that foolish thing blooming inside him feels a lot like hope, despite of what he keeps telling himself.
There’s just something about you that keeps pulling him in, and honestly, he’s tired of fighting it. Then again, the thought of you feeling the same is nothing short of ridiculous.
He’s not the same guy as he used to be. Hell, sometimes he’ll look at old photographs and barely recognize himself.
He remembers life before, and maybe that’s what makes this so hard. He remembers talking to pretty girls, their bright smiles, their soft skin underneath his hands. Good times were easy to come by, even though life was hard in a different way, then. But he was good at it; acting on his feelings alone used to be simple, fun, second-nature almost.
It’s different now.
It used to be different only once before, and look where that’s gotten him.
No, he can’t say anything. Not ever; or not yet, at any rate.
Sometimes, though, Bucky lies awake at night and listens to the rain knocking against his window, and he remembers how much easier falling asleep used to be when he had someone next to him and his mattress didn’t swallow him alive.
He’ll remember the dark circles under your eyes and wish it could be as easy as asking, too. He wonders if there’s a universe you remember where he tries, but he doubts it.
These days, he knows his mind again. And it’s not a burden he wants to share.
You have enough to carry on your own.
Maybe, he thinks as he stares up at the ceiling at three in the morning, maybe there’s still a certain comfort in your powers, in knowing all the possibilities, but it also means constantly losing something that’s real; always mourning the life that isn’t.
He can relate to that.
And maybe that means you can relate to him, too, at least a little bit.
It’s odd, how comforting that last little thought is to him.
When he does eventually fall asleep, you make your way into his dreams, too, sometimes. Those times are the worst.
You’re you, and he’s him, and there’s a sort of "us" in the both of you that doesn’t exist in real life. So when you let him lace his fingers with yours and press your lips to his forehead and it feels easy, that’s usually the point when he wakes up, heart tumbling over itself, right hand tracing the ghost of your touch, always too much, never enough.
He knows it’s not real.
He knows it’s just an indulgence; selfish, really.
The problem is that whatever small hope has decided to settle in his very core is impossible to kill, no matter how much he pushes it down; and he’s not sure he wants to lose it again.
Secretly, silently, serendipitously, you make him have faith in the future again.
But it’s not time for it yet.
if you want to read more about these two (plus a lot of time related shenanigans), read the main series here. or check out the rest of my bucky fics, that's also an option 💚 i don't do tag lists but you can follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications
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Hi guys,
It's been quiet here and I want to explain why: Tumblr hasn't been fun for me for a while. I haven't written in months, I actually haven't even read fanfictions in a while.
This was a place where we brainstormed, had fun while plotting and talking about fics or movies or anything. One of my favourite moments was when someone asked if they would write a sequel to a fic and they linked me and pointed out that there isn't a need because our reblogs with brainstorming was already telling the end of the story - and we had never even interacted before that!
I have met great people here 🩷🩷🩷
This isn't a good bye! My dm's are always open and you can reach out if you want and I won't delete anything. It's just that every time I come on here I see the notifications of someone liking a few fics without another interaction and I just lose interest here. (We saw so many post about that so I just won't bother to say why its important) I bet I'll come back, but now just isn't the time.
Take care of yourselves!
xoxo,
Tati
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Well, Steve is waiting on the bench!
Under my Umbrella
Pairing: Steve Rogers x female Reader
Summary: On your vacation in Edinburgh you spot a lonely man sitting in the rain on a bench. You decide to give him a hot beverage
Word Count: ~1.8k
Warnings: none I think
A/N: This takes place before Infinity War and Endgame didn’t happen as did certain things in IW because who knows me, knows I only write fluff. So Steve stays and gets his happy ending.
The sun had just been shining, but now the first drops of rain were landing on the fabric of your jacket. You struggled with the mechanism of your umbrella before you finally managed to open it and even more droplets had found their way onto your skin in the meantime.
When you were more secured under the protecting fabric, you continued walking towards the pavilion that was selling hot beverages. While you were waiting in line you spotted a man sitting on a bench. He was staring at the castle (as most of the people in Edinburgh were) and didn’t seem bothered by the changed weather. His baseball cap protected his face from the rain, but that was about it. He wasn’t even dressed like most of the tourists with rain jackets and walking boots.
“Don’t mind him, he’s been here for a few days now. He’s harmless,” the vendor ripped you out of your thoughts and you realized that it was your turn to order. You ordered two hot beverages and struggled to hold the hot containers and the umbrella at the same time. You managed to arrive at the bench the man sat at with only one shoulder slightly more wet.
“Um hi, I thought you might want something to drink to warm you up. I’ve got tea or hot chocolate if you want.” Blue eyes started into yours and you almost let the paper cups slip. Wet pieces of hair came out under the cap, his beard also had some droplets of water in it, but his blue eyes were what caught your attention. “Don’t feel pressured, I just saw you sitting here in the rain and thought you’d might like something.”
“That was very thoughtful of you. I’d like the hot chocolate if that’s okay with you.” His voice was raspy as if he hadn’t used it in a while.
“Of course, I offered, right?” You tried to hold out the right cup, but lost the grip on the umbrella you had with your arm.
“Let me,” he said and when he reached out to take the umbrella and hold it over your head he was very gentle.
“Would it be okay for me to sit here and drink my tea?” you asked and he nodded and told you to wait before you sat down. He took a t-shirt out of a backpack that you hadn’t spotted under his legs and swiped the bench dry with it. You offered to share the umbrella and the man agreed under the premise that he would hold it.
It was quiet for a while until he said: “Do you know that over two million people visit the castle every year?”
“Wow, that’s a lot. But I get it, I haven’t seen something like this before. And the people here are so nice!”
This was a start of a discussion for the two of you. He provided more facts about the city and you learned that he wasn’t originally form Edinburgh too. You talked for almost an hour and the cups were empty when you had to leave.
“Thank you for the hot chocolate and the companionship,” he said when you stood up and he got up with you – still holding the umbrella.
“You’re welcome. Thank you for the nice conversation -” you stopped and noticed that you haven’t gotten his name.
“My name is Steve,” he provided.
“Farewell, Steve,” you said and took your umbrella. When you looked back you saw him sitting again in the rain and you weren’t sure if he really had a small smile on his lips or if it was your imagination.
The next day you found yourself back in princess street garden. There were a few reasons for that: 1. The castle was like a magnet, as you could see it from almost every point in town. 2. The garden was such a beautiful place! It was so green and clean, you felt relaxed walking through it. And the 3. reason was something that you had to admit was Steve. You just hoped to see him again.
Was he living there? The vendor had said he had been there for days, but he hadn't smelled or anything. On the other hand he had a backpack with clothes in it. Maybe he was an unfortunate traveler that had been stranded here? Maybe he wasn’t even there anymore and you had come for nothing. Well not nothing as you had clearly come for the view of the castle and the tea. Maybe you’d try the hot chocolate today as Steve had seemed to enjoy it.
And why on earth was your mind always going back to Steve? A guy you had talked to for not even an hour? And were your feet also carrying you faster when you saw the shade of a man with a baseball hat on a bench? You stopped by the pavilion again and ordered two hot chocolates this time.
“I’m trading a hot chocolate for a fun fact about the castle,” you said and held the cup in front of Steves face. This time you were sure there was a smile on his face as you saw it clearly.
“Above a door in the royal palace are the initials MAH engraved. They did this when Mary, queen of the Scots, gave birth to King James IV.”
“Definitely worth a cup of hot chocolate,” you held out the cup and he took it and patted the seat next to him. This time you didn’t have an excuse to sit as closely to him as it wasn’t raining. You were in the middle of a sip when a touch on your leg startled you. You looked over to Steve who pointed a finger towards the grass where a small squirrel was, before it continued its way towards the two of you. It nibbled shortly on your shoelaces before it decided it wasn’t a snack and went back to its next target.
“Did you see that?” you asked full of glee.
“I did!” he confirmed. It did seem like he just noticed that his hand was still slightly touching your leg and he removed it. “You want to take a walk with me?” he asked and you agreed.
Visiting Steve was like an unspoken rule. Just like you never asked why he was always sitting on that bench. Time with him flew and one hour turned into two. He made you laugh, he was very attentive and, on the day, when it rained again, he held the umbrella so you wouldn’t get wet while he had to duck his head.
“This is my last day here. I should be packing, but I rather saw you for the last time.” You couldn’t believe that you told him that. But there was nothing to lose, this was the last time you saw him.
“I think I have to stay a little longer, but at least I’ve got to know you.” You had reached the end of the park and looked at each. Steves skin was tinted red from the reflection of the umbrella and you had never seen someone more beautiful!
“I’ll miss our daily dates,” you almost whispered.
“I’ll miss you,” was Steves simple response. He bent forward and suddenly he pressed his lips against yours. It was gentle at first but then he put more pressure in it when you didn’t pull away. His hand was touching your face softly and his finger stroked your cheek when he put some distance between your faces.
“Stay safe, sunshine”
A few years later
“I can’t believe that we took the hard way. No one else here is out of breath!” you complained when you let yourself fall on the grass and watched the people walking the paved path while you and Steve had walked the hard way to the top of Arthurs seat to enjoy the view of Edinburgh.
“Have I told you that you look even more beautiful than the day I first saw you, sunshine?” Steve sat down so close to you, so he could put his arm behind you and you could lean against it.
“You tell me that every day,” you laughed and put your head on his shoulder.
“It’s the truth! When I saw you struggling holding all three items in your hand and the rain falling down your umbrella, a small slip of sun came through and illuminated you. I don’t call you sunshine for no reason.”
“You are a charmer. I can’t believe we’ve met that way!”
It had been two days after your farewell when you saw the news about Captain America destroying a train station in Edinburgh. It only took a few seconds of the footage until you realized that the homeless/ stranded man you had seen daily was actually Captain America who had been on the run. Months later there had been a letter in your postbox. It had been from Steve who figured out where you lived and wanted to give you the option if you wanted to see him or not.
Of course you had wanted to see him and after a lot of dates, that didn’t include a bench in the park, you moved in together and finally decided to visit the place again where it had all begun.
“It is a nice story. But I think we could leave out the part where you thought I was homeless,” he laughed and pressed a kiss to your side of the head. He was very affectionate since the two of you began dating and you were loving it. When the two of you met again in person, he had told you that he had been searching for Wanda. And while he had be sitting in the park, he had heard about all the stuff people said about the castle, so he could provide the facts he told you in exchange for the hot chocolate.
“I will never leave out that part. It is one of the best parts.” it was your favorite part because it made everyone laugh.
“My favorite part was meeting you,” he pulled you towards him until you both fell back onto the ground and kissed you. Never in your life would you have thought that you’d meet your future husband on your vacation. Not that Steve knew about your upcoming proposal. The only other person who knew was the vendor in princess street garden who would make sure that your bench wouldn’t be occupied tomorrow. But for now you would enjoy being in Steves arm.
Masterlist | Library Blog
#i'm just going to leave this here#with that i send you lots of love from Edinburgh#Steve and I are having a wonderful time#(and i brought Bucky too)
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This was sweet! 😍
Loverboy
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Word Count: 4.3k
Summary: Bucky, a lovesick, pining super soldier, vows to keep his feelings for you a secret — no matter how obvious his crush may seem. Those plans are ruined between a meddling Sam, an embarrassing fall, and a visit to the medbay with you.
Warnings: Avengers AU, Bucky’s POV, fluff, crack (my lame attempt at comedy), suggestive thoughts (no smut), just our boy being a lovesick little bean with a big ol’ crush.
Author’s Note: Dividers by @saradika. Proofread by @buckys-wintersoldier, thank you so much sweetie, I love you!! This was inspired by a wonderful request from @prettyboy56, thank you so much! Hope you enjoy x
“Hi, Bucky.”
Instantly, he sputtered over his mouthful of cereal, eyes watering from his food going down the wrong way.
Bucky knew that melodic voice before his gaze even reached its owner. You entered the kitchen, wiggling your fingers at him in greeting.
Clearing his throat, he swiped his bowl to the side, his breakfast now forgotten about, and directed his attention solely onto you. “Hi—um h—hello, doll.”
The muscles of your cheeks lifted up to your eyes in a smile that made Bucky swoon. Hard.
Your eyes fell to Sam then, who stood in the corner, fresh from a workout with a shit eating on his face. “Good morning, Samuel.”
“Mornin’, beautiful. How did you sleep?”
Bucky fought the growl rising in his throat, the unprecedented possessiveness caving its way through its internal barriers in your presence.
You grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and closed the door, leaning your back against it to take a big gulp.
“Not bad at all.” You licked your lips, ridding the dryness that came from a long slumber before your eyes lit up. “Oh, by the way! I drank some of that tea you recommended. It’s helped a bunch—”
Bucky zoned out while you continued to express your gratitude to Sam. He couldn’t help the way his eyes dilated as he rested his head in the palm of his vibranium hand, a lovesick sigh escaping his lips. You were just so gorgeous – a deity in human form right in front of his own very eyes. Bucky had never considered himself so lucky in all his time on earth to be within your vicinity.
In his own world of oggling, Bucky didn’t notice how the conversation fell short between you and Sam. Neither did he realise how the two of you were staring at him; you with concern and Wilson smothering his laughter with his hand.
“Bucky? Sweetheart?” He finally registered that you were speaking to him and almost choked, again, on his own spit.
“Mhm?” Bucky murmured, drunk off your attention.
You smiled once again, so devastatingly beautiful that his left arm whirred in stupor. “Are you okay? You feeling alright?” Not waiting for a response, you walked over to him and Bucky almost let his eyes roll to the back of his head when you lifted your wrist to his forehead. “Jeez, you’re a little hot, Buck.”
Sam keeled over in hysterics, unable to keep his composure any longer. Meanwhile, a bright red blossom of colour rose up from the skin of Bucky’s neck all the way up to his cheeks.
Had Bucky not been embarrassingly infatuated by you, the throwaway comment wouldn’t have had any effect on him. But this was you. The woman who had the ability to make him melt on the spot.
While logic and a basic level of common sense screamed at him that you were talking about his temperature, his mind could only conjure up the fact you had called him hot.
Bucky saw your mouth moving, however he couldn’t concentrate on the sound of the words coming out of it. You were still touching him, patting his cheeks and sweeping the tendrils of hair that had fell out from behind his ears out of his face. The close proximity of your bodies threw him through a loop and without even realising, his thighs spread further, subconsciously begging you to forego all boundaries and smother yourself against him.
Gently tapping his nose three times, you managed to gain his full attention again. “You seem out of it, sweetie. Maybe you should go down to the medbay. See if you’re coming down with a fever or something.”
Sam blew out a breath of air. “Yeah, because that’s what’s wrong with him.”
You threw a lighthearted glare his way before bringing your eyes back to Bucky. “Promise me you’ll get seen to?”
How could he refuse when you asked so sweetly? “Anything you want.” He vowed sincerely.
Scrunching your nose, you chucked his chin and whispered under your breath, “Good boy.”
Bucky almost whimpered when you withdrew your hands and stepped back. He so desperately wanted to follow you and nudge your arm until you paid attention to him once more. Your touch was fire and a cool breeze all at once. Electricity that created static across his stubbled cheek, yet also stoked a warmth through his entire body.
Peace. He’d never felt anything like it. Never before felt drunk from just the delicate essence of a perfume or experienced the loosening of his limbs, relaxing until his legs felt like jelly whenever you so much as cast him a glance.
You grabbed a piece of fruit from the table, ready to go down to the gym and train. “Catch you later, Sam,” you called over your shoulder. Meeting Bucky’s eyes a final time, you winked while you headed for the elevator. “Bye, sweetheart.”
Bucky’s gaze was glued to you, following you out hopelessly until you were completely out of sight.
He was fucked — well and truly out of his depth.
Sam crossed his arms and smirked. “You are down bad, man.”
Bucky swiped a hand over his face, sighing deeply. “Fuckin’ tell me about it.”
“This is serious.” Sam sobered up, his lips softening into an honest smile.
With an embarrassingly loud thud against the island countertop, Bucky let his head drop. “I have no idea what to do, Sam. I thought this crush would have passed by now but it’s been months.”
“Well,” Sam raised an eyebrow. “Have you even tried asking her out?”
“And why would I do that?” Bucky asked, genuinely confused.
Sam sputtered over his words. “What do you mean—Because that’s what people do when they like someone, you dumbass!”
Bucky had lost enough braincells daydreaming about you constantly. He didn’t need to be told what he already knew. But the pressure of asking you out to then have a chance of being rejected? He would never come back from that. “Yeah, no thanks,” he mumbled.
“Come on, man. What’s the worst that could happen?” Sam asked.
Bucky lifted his head up and huffed sarcastically. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe she could turn me down and rip my heart out into little pieces, so much that I would hide out in my room for the rest of eternity never to be seen again?”
“Now you’re just being dramatic.”
Bucky sighed longingly. “Let me wallow in my misery alone, Sam.”
“Why? So you can spend your days staring at her with your googly eyes and drooling over her.”
“I have never drooled over her,” Bucky snarled.
A twinkle shone in Sam’s eye, a mischievous grin donning his face. “Then what’s that on your chin?”
Bucky’s eyes widened and he quickly brought his hand up to his face to check if he did in fact have any wetness coating his mouth. Finding none, he looked back to Sam with a scowl. “I hate you.”
Sam shook his head with laughter. “You shouldn’t make it so easy to tease you, loverboy.”
With a growl, Bucky lifted from his seat and stormed out of the kitchen.
The irritating voice followed him. “Don’t forget training tomorrow morning, loverboy!”
The sun was shining over the compound the next morning and so came the bright idea from Steve that all exercise activities should be held outside. While the recruits in training buffed up on their sparring with the Captain, the rest of the avengers worked out as they saw fit.
As usual, Sam took any opportunity possible to annoy Bucky, which brought them together, running laps around the outdoor track.
“When are you gonna man up and ask her out then, Cyborg? Pretty girl ain’t gonna be available forever.”
Bucky wasn’t entirely sure why he didn’t run ahead of Sam. It wasn’t as if he couldn’t. Maybe the pace he kept alongside Wilson allowed him to stare at you so clearly in your tight workout leggings and sports bra as sweat sensually rolled over your skin. Maybe.
“I’m not asking her out, Sam. Drop it.”
Sam huffed out an annoyed breath. “Listen, man. It’s not as if you’ve got nothing going for you. As much as you’re a grumpy shit, you’ve got them blue eyes the chicks love. Gets them all gooey when you give them intense eye contact, y’know?” He reluctantly added, “And they dig the brooding, bad boy, leather jacket vibe.”
Bucky let out a rare smile within the presence of Sam. “You tryna hit on me, Wilson?”
“Look, all I’m saying is you have a chance.” Sam slyly glanced over the field. “And if you don’t quit fuckin’ around, that chance is gonna disappear.”
The smile instantly dropped from Bucky’s face. “What do you mean by that?”
Sam’s signature smirk came back with vengeance. “Your girls lookin’ kinda cute today. So I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but you ain’t the only one who’s got their eye on her.”
Naturally, Bucky followed his instinct and let his eyes look over at you. You were a fucking wonder, of course he knew that. But heeding Sam’s ominous warning, Bucky allowed his gaze to venture out, only allowing you to blur into the background for a couple of seconds while he took stock of the other male, and female, recruits.
Low and behold, plenty of other people wantonly stared at you while you completed your circuit, almost salivating over their barely concealed pining. As much as Bucky hated to admit it, the fucker was right. You were the pinnacle of everyone’s attention.
With the way you were bending over, squatting and looking like an angel amidst the perspiration the sun brought on, Bucky wasn’t sure if he could actually blame anyone for it.
That didn’t stop the ugly, green eyed beast within him that wanted to tear everyone’s eyes out for daring to glimpse at you.
It was silly, he knew he had no right to feel any sort of possessive nature for you. Unfortunately, you didn’t belong to him. Still, he couldn’t control the deep rooted urges that whispered the kinds of fun he’d have gouging out eyeballs that looked where they weren't supposed to.
Knowing he had stirred the pot enough, Sam figured it was time to try and hit the final nail in the coffin in order to make his friend move his ass. “Y’know what gives you an advantage though, man?”
Bucky continued to death stare the surrounding agents, while keeping up with his steady jog. “What’s that?”
“Guess who’s making eyes at you right now.”
At breakneck speed, Bucky snapped his head back around to you, only to indeed find you staring at him with a fire in your eyes and your bottom lip trapped between your teeth.
A violent shudder ran down his spine and for a moment, the whole world stopped on its axis, allowing Bucky to revel in a daydream brought to life.
That was until his mind snapped him back into the present. The super soldier was majestic on his feet in a fight, graceful yet utterly dangerous out on the field even with the pressure a mission came with.
However to his utter bewilderment, you happened to be the most dangerous being he had ever come across, because in all of his years as a trained, professional assassin, Bucky had never, never, tripped over his own feet.
And so, inevitably, Bucky’s face ungracefully met the asphalt of the outside track with an audible thunk.
A collective of gasps, oo’s, and ah’s, rang around the large group. Bucky could physically feel the coating of red, hot embarrassment climbing up to his now scratched cheeks.
Bucky couldn’t see the look of shame and pity on Sam’s face as he dropped his head into his hands. All he was capable of was fantasizing faking his own death and moving far, far away where no one who witnessed his fall could ever find him.
With a painful, deep groan, Bucky managed to roll himself over. He couldn’t bear to open his eyes and allow himself to accept reality yet and so he kept them closed, waiting for the ground to swallow him up or for the beaming sun to slowly incinerate him, melt him into the ground with his shame and dignity.
But instead of either of those, a shadow casted over him, the harsh brightness behind his eyelids dulling down. Slowly, he peeked an eye open, only for mortification to kick him in the gut when he found you standing over him.
“You alright there, Soldier?” Your hands were set on your hips, those deliciously curved grooves of your body that he had shamelessly stared at one too many times during gym sessions.
“Mhm,” he gulped, his Adam’s apple bobbing roughly. “Just peachy.”
Even though you’d just seen him eat dirt, in front of hundreds of learning recruits and the rest of the avengers, your smile was kind as you held out your hand. “Need some help?”
Bucky took your offering, sliding his clammy palm into your dry one and hoisted himself up with your grip. He hadn’t needed your help, he was a super soldier with a metal arm; an agility and strength beyond normal human ability. But he wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to feel your soft skin against his.
He couldn’t look you in the eye as he stood up, aware of your gaze glued to him. “Th-Thanks.”
“It’s not a problem,” you said. “Although, you’ve got a few nasty looking cuts on your cheeks.”
Bucky brought his left hand up to his face, hissing when the cool vibranium stung the open wounds. “Ah, it’s nothin’—don't worry about it. Nothing a few hours won’t fix.”
You shook your head fondly. “Well, how about I walk you to the infirmary and we get some ointment on them? It wouldn’t hurt to be cautious.”
Bucky choked on his own spit and snapped his eyes to yours. “W-We?”
Your smile was blinding — so beautiful with an ability to stop time. At least for him anyway. “Yeah, why not? It looks like you could use a hand—y’know, since you’re a little clumsy on your feet today.” The cheeky smirk that followed your words almost sent him to an early grave.
His cheeks blazed. Bucky was sure he looked utterly stupid, with his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. But he couldn’t help the effect you had on him. “I um—I— ha, I guess.”
Your eyes glinted mischievously. “I’ll take that as a yes?”
Not trusting his voice to hold steady, Bucky simply nodded.
“Great,” you approved. “Just one question though, are we going to keep holding hands on the way?”
Looking down to the space between you, Bucky felt his mouth dry when he saw that he hadn’t yet released his hand from yours. “I’m—oh fuck—I’m so sorry.”
Still, he made no move to slacken his grip.
You tightened your lips, and he knew you were willing yourself not to laugh for his sake. Sam would have a fucking field day with this.
Though to his surprise, instead of pulling away like he expected you to, you began pulling him along, hands still interweaved. “Let’s go get you cleaned up, Bucky.”
His name on your lips was akin to a siren singing her song; dragging helpless seamen to their deaths. A thought crossed his mind then, that he didn’t think he would mind so much if he sank to his reckoning, not if your voice was the last thing he ever heard.
“Okay.” Bucky followed you blindly, eyes glued to your conjoined hands and disbelieving of his luck.
You had led the way towards the medbay and found a cozy, private room that the doctors used for small injuries. Bucky sat impatiently on the side of the medical bed, twiddling his thumbs and fidgeting restlessly. Never had he been so close to you, alone.
Bucky internally prayed with all his faith that you couldn’t hear the rapid staccato of his heartbeat. He was sure if he was hooked up to a monitor, the doctors would be thoroughly concerned about his health.
Finally having gathered all the supplies you deemed necessary along with a first aid box, you walked back over to the bed and dumped everything next to him.
“So,” you began, an uneasy conspiratorial tone to your voice that weirdly reminded him of Sam. “Wanna tell me what happened out there?”
“I—,” Bucky sheepishly scratched the back of his neck while his cheeks bloomed crimson red. “I must’ve just tripped over my own feet.”
He tried to shrug off his nonchalance, but he knew by your raised eyebrow you didn’t believe him. “Somehow, I have a hard time believing a big, strong super soldier such as yourself has any trouble finding his footing.”
Before Bucky could muster up any other excuse but the truth, you ripped open the packet of a medical wipe and warned him, “I’m sorry. This is gonna sting.”
“Nothing I can’t handle,” he said with bravado.
Bucky wasn’t prepared for the twinkle in your eye as you mumbled under your breath, “I’m sure it isn’t, Sargeant.”
The breath got knocked out of his lungs. Oh did that do things to him.
Suddenly, vivid images of you spread out on his bed wearing nothing but his old army hat while you screamed out his rank ran wild in his mind.
Luckily, you were too preoccupied with cleaning the dried blood of his wound to notice him discreetly palming the bulge in his athletic shorts, trying to hide the effect you had on him.
“Are you certain there is absolutely no other reason as to why I’m playing nurse right now, then?” Your feline grin was sexy and scary. “No possible distractions that led you off path?”
There was no way you could read minds, right? Bucky doubled down on his denial, shaking his head from side to side and letting the length of his hair hide the truth in his eyes.
“I’ll take your word for it then.” You finished up and reached for the healing gel. “I know the serum enhances your ability to repair the cuts, but I’d still like to use this.” Looking into his eyes, you asked, “Only as long as you’re okay with that, of course.”
Time stopped and the two of you were caught in the other’s gaze. It was such a small gesture, one you probably didn’t even realise meant the world to him. But you asked him for permission on something that would affect his autonomy and if Bucky didn’t already have a hundred ways he was falling for you, that would have been the cherry on top.
“Yeah,” he breathed airily. “Yeah, I’m good with it, doll.”
Unseen to him before, you ducked your head and sweeped your hair behind your ear and if Bucky didn’t know any better, he was sure you were shy.
He couldn’t help the large grin he sported. He was always so enamored with you, quick to falter in your presence and become unsure of himself. Right now though, a small bout of bravery returned. “Ready when you are,” he cheekily murmured.
You hastily rushed to compose yourself. Clearing your throat, you squeezed the tube of gel, allowing a small drop of the cool liquid on the tip of your finger and stepped between his legs to gently dab it onto his cuts.
“Okay, you’re all fixed up now.” With a last swipe of his forehead, you smiled. “Don’t worry, Buck. You still look handsome.”
He tugged his plump bottom lip between his teeth. “You think I’m handsome?”
You giggled. “I would be blind if I didn’t.”
Bucky blinked at you slowly, still processing your words and trying to calm the excited bubble rising in his throat.
You rolled your eyes playfully. “Oh, don’t act all coy, Bucky. You must have heard the whispers of the recruits. They stare at you all the time, whispering and giggling to each other.”
With the most confidence he had ever mustered up, he responded, “Truthfully, I’m too busy staring at someone else to notice, doll.”
The shock of his sudden boldness was glaringly obvious on your face — it was you this time who held your mouth open, lost for words.
Bucky’s body screamed at him to tell you that he was in fact head over heels for you. That had he known falling over in front of the full compound would lead him within a hair’s breadth away from you, he’d do it all over again.
But you seemed to recover after a couple of seconds, clearing your throat and making yourself busy to avoid his eyes. “So, I’ve got another question.”
“Oh?” Bucky cocked his head.
“Yeah.” You smiled while placing everything back into the first aid box as you found it. “I’ve been hearing a few rumours around the compound recently.”
Bucky’s stomach dropped with dread.
“You wouldn’t know anything about those, would you?”
“I—” Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat. “I have no idea what you mean.”
“Oh,” you hummed. “So it’s not true then? You don’t have a crush on me?”
Fuck.
Panicking, Bucky scoffed, though it came off sounding too pathetic, too breezy. “Me? Have a crush on you? That’s—Ha! Nope. No way. Not at all.”
He watched as you nodded to yourself. Internally, he was begging for the floor to swallow him while he cringed at his own stupidity.
“Well,” you shrugged. “That’s a shame, I guess.”
Bucky’s head shot up, eyes wide and shock written over his features. “E-Excuse me?”
“Oh, it's nothing really.” There was a sparkle in your eye that screamed trouble. “You said you didn’t have a crush on me, so it doesn’t matter.”
Within seconds, Bucky jumped off the bed and leapt towards you, not even noticing how he had grabbed your hands. “Doll, please. You can’t leave a guy hanging like that.”
Playfully rolling your eyes, you dramatically exhaled and decided to put him out of his misery. “Leave you hanging? Damn, Buck. It’s not as if I’ve been waiting patiently for you to ask me out for months or anything like that.”
The air became humid and stuffy and suddenly the clothes attached to Bucky’s body felt too tight and restricting. “You—What now?”
You rolled your lips inwards, trying to smother your laughter. “Bucky, honey,” you gently murmured. “I’ve heard what the others have been gossiping about. I’ve definitely heard Sam telling the team about your crush on me.”
Bucky squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. “That fuckin’ punk.”
You squeezed his hands reassuringly and offered him a warm smile when he looked at you. “I’ve just been waiting to hear it from the horse's mouth himself.”
Bucky’s eyes darted between yours, trying to find any hint of decievement. “You’re serious.”
“Mhm,” you whispered. “Deadly.”
It took him a couple of seconds to let the new information sink in. Clearing his throat, Bucky untightened his fierce grip on your hands and hesitantly slid them down to latch onto your waist. “So,” he mumbled. “Say if I asked you out to dinner tonight… You wouldn’t tell me I’m a fool and break my heart into a million pieces?”
Butterflies erupted in Bucky’s stomach at the sensation of your hands sliding over his chest to rest against his neck. “No, Bucky,” you chuckled. “I would tell you that I’m looking forward to our first date, tonight. Nowhere fancy, just casual. Six o’clock sharp.”
Bucky smiled, all beaming and ecstatic. “I wouldn’t dream of being late.”
“Good.” You leaned up onto your tip toes and ghosted your lips over his ear. “See you very soon then, Sargeant.”
Tingles shot down Bucky’s spine and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He fought tooth and nail to crush the moan that rose up his throat and in his internal struggle, he missed how you’d sneakily slipped out of his hold and started to saunter towards the door.
He almost begged you to come back; the thought of having to wait for you until the evening was unbearable. But those pesky butterflies that invaded his stomach came back strong and fierce as his gaze became glued to the sway of your hips and the sweet perfume that lingered in your exit.
“Oh,” you stopped suddenly at the doorway and looked over your shoulder. “One more thing. Don’t go tripping over again, you hear me?” You raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Can’t have you falling for me.”
Your damn smirk was intoxicating and Bucky thought himself the luckiest fella alive to be the one taking you out. He licked his lips and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m afraid I’m gonna have a little trouble with that request, Ma’am.”
The clench of your thighs was unmissable. The way your eyes dilated called to him. Bucky had more game than he realised and he kept that new information tucked safely into the corner of his mind for a later date.
You didn’t reply. You didn’t need to. Your actions told Bucky everything he needed to know and so he wiggled his fingers with a huge grin locked onto his face and watched you longingly as you left his sight.
The minute he couldn’t hear your footsteps any longer, Bucky pumped his fist up into the air and began dancing on the spot.
In his own bubble of happiness, he didn’t hear the footsteps of a new person entering the hallway. Only when an amused clearing of the throat echoed from the doorway did Bucky abruptly stop his dancing and slowly swivel to the intruder.
Sam stood there, all cocky and mirthful with a shit eating grin on his face. “About time you bagged the girl, man. Dont’cha think?”
Instantly, Bucky growled and grabbed the closest apparatus. With a pair of medical scissors, he charged towards Sam, who was quick to wipe the smirk off his face and skid out of the room with a scream.
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Oh no, I never wanted to worry you! But I'm touched you were - sorry though! I was just fed up with Tumblr for a while when the seriel likers came back and since then inspiration and motivation ran dry. I'll post an update for the future!!! 😘
And I'm actually reading the Throne of Glass series and I'm surprised how much I like it. But I had to take a break before I start the last book and now I'm reading a romance book in-between. Maybe that will inspire something
are you doing well? 🥺🫶🏻💕💕 i hope so, but if you're not, take this hug and emotional support croissant 🫂✨🥐
Brandy, it's so nice for you to reach out!!! 🩷 I'm okay, a little bit stressed from work but other than that I'm doing fine. Haven't been here for a while because I haven't written in AGES (seriously it's been months and I don't even have a spark of motivation!?) and I'm rather hooked in my book series that I'm reading.
I'll gladly take the croissant as I just woke up and the sparkling hug!
I hope you're doing good and I'll exchange your goods with a 🧸🫂 (bear hug haha) and a ☕️ because I'm currently making myself one
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