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Just you wait, if he gets out of the screen, he is so going to hug you all

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It's so nice being on tumblr because you don't even have to make your own post but people would still follow you anyways if you're good at rebloging posts they like

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little girl whose fursona is a baby cow: for my third wish i want you to make the saying "you are what you eat" literal, no matter the disaster, no matter the pain

genie: yah ok

vampire working his office job: turns into an 8 foot wave of human blood sweeping through the office drowning his coworkers and thoroughly saturating everything, the furniture the walls the floor, with blood carrying a large variety of diseases, so that renovation is not an option and the entire building has to be condemned once men in full body hazmat suits confirm that nobody survived

tarrare somewhere in his grave: turns into a toddler

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The cookie out of reach is always the most enticing

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i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

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personally I don't think if you're a kid you should be using your real name on the internet. very easy for people to find out too much about you. instead you should spend years using a different made-up name that becomes part of your persona to an arguably even greater degree than your actual name and then when you grow up and find out you're trans you have a ready-made name to switch to even if it's probably like Leaf or something

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fuck it. shrimp HELL now.

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if you give someone a 50 cent raise , said individual should be allowed to cause property damage and face no consequences

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aaaaaaaaa

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bleeding and smoking are two of like the hottest things ever and it’s really unfair that you shouldn’t be doing either on the reg

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They should invent a way to sit hunched over doing crafts that is Good for your body

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Me and my cousin have an ongoing bit where we pretend we made "slightly better" versions of things where we'll be like.

"That was a pretty good movie, but not as good as my movie, House of 1001 Corpses," or "I guess this song is okay. Kind of reminds me of a song I'm working on called 'Faster Car'."

Never once has it been funny or made anyone but us laugh.

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EPIC RAP BATTLE OF HISTORY

LIGHT

VERSUS

HEAVYYYYYYY

BEGIN

Mann vs. God? This tankie better be scared of me,

I won a war against crime, you lost a sandwich to a Jeremy.

Your time to Meet the End is Near, but perhaps you could oppose it,

Since I was about to write your name but nobody even knows it!

So while you're playing with cosmetics, I'll be laying off your Medics,

Cuz it's poetic how pathetic you can be without synthetics!

And now I'll end you before you start like the update that never shipped,

You're a cliché classification while I write the script.

*Shoots Light in the chest*

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honestly i never thought the phrased “i want that twink obliterated” was like a sexual thing. like when i read the phrase i imagine “a meteor like the one that killed the dinosaurs is summoned from the heavens and hits the twink in question” type situation

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Never forget, Denne loves you no matter what, and this blog will always be a safe place for you.

Not only in June.