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โto be a woman is to experience painโโto be a woman is to performโโto be a woman is to-โ SHUT UP SHUT UP ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
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when i was really little and had just learned how to write my full name . i noticed my twin brother had really messy handwriting. while mine was like โฆ as nice as it could be for a little kid. so i wrote my name in his handwriting on a wall and i waited to see who our parents would get mad at . and they blamed him. and that was when my life of crime began
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Whoever invented "open in app" links that redirect you to the app store instead of actually opening the app even when you already have the app installed on your phone should be involuntarily turned into a beanbag chair
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girl 1: u look so beautiful in this light
girl 2: blushes
girl 3: (bad at hiding that shes immortal) i swear that mountain is shorter than the last time i saw it
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due to inflation you must answer my riddles five
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no one ever lets me be friends with their mom ๐
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It feels like deeply maladaptive that the human body's response to intense hunger is to feel nauseous. Like what was the goal there
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Yknow tumblr was changing the logo monthly for a little while there. Are they just keeping the one that looks like a period tracker now. It's been there suspiciously long
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Jude: *falls from ceiling*
all of Elfhame: clap her in chains!
Cardan:

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not to be problematic but i literally do not give a shit about age gaps when dating vampires. they thirst for your blood. "but it's predatory!!!!" yeah. it is. "they're preying on you!!!" they're vampires. they do that. "it's a power imbalance!!!!!!" what part of vampires are you not getting
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one of my favorite story elements is "character way past their prime can still absolutely wreck you, leaving you to wonder just how powerful they used to be"
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Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*
My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.
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