matsssi

[matsssi]

Two weeks ago I turned 26 and only one of the few friends I have greeted me. For many people it may not be anything and may not mean anything, but I think I felt so irrelevant to the life of those around me. I mean, it's not that I expected a surprise or for him to come to my house to say hello, but not even a message, nothing.

Maybe it's been 3 or maybe 4 years now that I no longer like celebrating birthdays or And I was a person who invited 20 people to my birthdays, including my 10 friends.

What I mean is that I have already gone unnoticed in the lives of many and perhaps this is what is necessary. I know that my time will come.

[matsssi]

[matsssi]

Today was not just another day, today was the day to say goodbye to Chavo. He appeared in mid-June of last year with a tumor in the genital area, he lived on the street on our block but he is always seen in our house.Almost without thinking twice, we adopted him and took him to the vet to begin chemotherapy treatments. After 8 sessions he was completely cured. By November he was a super healthy dog and fortunately we had a super happy dog in our home who had a smile and a playful look for everything.He was a dog of iron because he had endured everything in life, well, his short life because with a study of his bones we discovered that he was no more than a year and a half old when we adopted him. But well, reality is sometimes harsh and the iron dog is actually made of flesh and blood.In a month, a throat disease then turned into liver failure, which later led to general failure that in a short time left us without Chavo . And after crying for hours and even crying writing this I want to thank you for appearing in our lives, thank you for letting us into yours, with the great sincerity that only a dog can show gratitude which is just looking at you and wagging its tail. Let me tell you that I will always miss you, friend, thank you for this year that you stopped loving us because of our family and for your love, I love you to infinity. And I hope that in puppy heaven they leave you a little place to sunbathe on the sidewalk like you liked to do on warm afternoons. Until always, dear friend, I will always love you.

[matsssi]

[matsssi]

How do you live with sadness?

The anxiety of everyday life has now become this.

[matsssi]

Hoy hace 11 años que llegué a Tumblr. 🥳

[matsssi]

How agonizing is a present without a future

[matsssi]

I'm thinking of leaving my most consumed social networks for an undetermined time, these are twitter instagram and tiktok, I think this could help me focus on other things, lately it gives me a lot of anxiety to waste time there, that's what I think. And I've read and seen that it helps the overall well being of oneself, I'm really tired of seeing things that don't help, lives of complete strangers on tw and random videos on ig, only having my friends contacts on wsp and watching videos on yt.

On the other hand here on tumblr I would leave it open since I don't spend case nothing I think it's 40 minutes a week .

Anyway, have you considered this option? Have you had an experience leaving social networks?

[matsssi]

Últimas horas de un domingo que como a muchos me hace mal, me hace mal la melancolia y la tristeza que deja un día que por lo general trae siempre a la reflexión de la vida misma, de lo que estoy haciendo y lo que hice. Para sorpresa de nadie poco ha cambiado en estos meses ya caído en años. El empezar a sentirme mal conmigo a odiarme un poco más a querer llorar en la noche, a fumar cada día más, a que la ansiedad no me deje dormir y el estrés me este dejando sin pelo. Pero a quiero ser más feliz conmigo mismo y a veces son rachas de semanas sin estos pensamientos pero siempre aparecen. Mirar a mi alrededor y sentir que decepcionó a todos y hasta mi mismo cuando la realidad es que tengo una familia que me quiere pero no estoy haciendo nada. No estoy estudiando no puedo conseguir trabajo y todo se hace más complejo y soy realmente una carga. El gimnasio ayuda un poco a distraerme durante la semana pero después se cae todo, espero estos meses venideros poder estar un poco mejor pero a veces necesito desahogarme de esta forma, en fin buenas noches y buen inicio de mayo

[matsssi]

To close the night of shitty thoughts, I leave you a photo of my dog's growth.

[matsssi]

It's normal to not date someone for 5 or more years. You're completely normal and still rather young! Try not to worry too much about it. Just try your best to meet people and spend time with those you like, and im sure you'll be dating someone in no time!

Thanks anon it's true my close friends say the same thing, but several of them already have a partner and have even started a family and sometimes I think I'm doing wrong.

[matsssi]

Is it normal not to have dated anyone in 5 years? because I'm starting to panic about the fear of dying alone.

[matsssi]

you're sooooo cool

ooooow thank you very much I try to publish more regularly things about bochhi and my daily traumas but I'm glad you like it 💘

[matsssi]

megan thee stallion wearing a bruno bucciarati inspired dress the the crunchyroll anime awards

[matsssi]

someone to talk ???

[matsssi]

Otra vez las ganas inevitables de llorar un lunes a las 2am, donde todo mi presente es asqueroso y el futuro no tiene una vista agradable, donde hay pasajes medio claros de felicidad, pero que luego la calma de la noche me devela que es solo una pequeña racha que me da la vida, donde parece que puedo ser feliz pero no. La realidad es cruda y nada de lo que quiero proyectar a nivel personal me sale nada pero nada. La libertad sin ambición y proyección me esta llevando a este camino, donde desganado de todo me hace querer alejarme obtener algún trabajo para irme lejos y quizás en el día ocupado de laburo poder pensar como seguir, pero eso, irme a veces es lo que más pienso salir más o estar con amigos pero no puedo, no tengo ánimos. Veo como todos progresan se enamoran y proyectan. Porque todo es tan difícil porque, soy el único que no avanza??? El único que no puede amar, quizás porque no me quiero a mí mismo ?? El unico que en vez de estar durmiendo para ir a trabajar o estudiar esta despierto hasta altas horas de la noche porque no tiene trabajo y es un parásito. La verdad es que no quiero ni entrar en las redes sociales para no ver a nadie conocido lo que hace y no es por envidia ni nada, pero me da bronca en compararlos conmigo mismo están graduados y trabajando de lo que les gusta y con familia hijos esposas novias y me entristece real . Pero bueno quería desahogarme por acá ya que nadie lo lee como me siento estos días, que parece que nada ha cambiado en 8 meses y ojalá pronto cambie para bien

[matsssi]

I need 300usd just that