mattdesu - Tumblr blog

[mattdesu]

Balls.

[mattdesu]

(via timespaceunicorns)

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[mattdesu]

I like how the word “bed” is actually in the shape of a bed.

[mattdesu]

One advantage of being a woman is no one can surprise you with a kid years later and tell you you’re the mom.

[mattdesu]

i knew a dude in college who kept an old Smirnoff bottle full of water on his desk and would casually chug straight out of it in the middle of conversations with new people in order to establish dominance

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[mattdesu]

Lol this is great

[mattdesu]

One day I’m gonna say “fight me!” and someone’s just gonna fuckin deck me

[mattdesu]

[mattdesu]

dont forgive people who arent sorry for what they did

[mattdesu]

during sex

girlfriend: why are u laughing

me: thought of a meme

[mattdesu]

i feel like everyone has a teacher from high school that they’d 100% fight

[mattdesu]

when u see ur reflection

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[mattdesu]

Shyoom

[mattdesu]

When I say ruff ruff/bark at my dog, is that like saying Ching Chang Chong to a Chinese person?