mattgoffardofficial

[mattgoffardofficial]

what would u gift derek on his birthday

Nothing, just a pig plushie cause he is one

[mattgoffardofficial]

Ryan:"Dad how come Eileen is the favorite!?"

Eileen:"look at the obvious answers you dumbass"

Ryan:"shut up cunt!"

Eileen:"at least I'm not a whore"

Ethan:"... I'm the least favorite"

Eileen:"yeah for obvious reasons"

Ethan:"oh yeah like what?"

Eileen:" do I really have to list all of them?"

Ethan:"...No"

Ryan:"Pussy"

Ethan:"hey!"

Kids shut up it’s 12 in the morning and you’re GROWN ADULTS!

(lol)

[mattgoffardofficial]

Your brother is wandering in the garbage as always:>

As he should cause he is one >:3

[mattgoffardofficial]

Yo this your brother?

Nah that’s just a random stranger I don’t know that guy

[mattgoffardofficial]

Ky: "Hey man you look shitty... Need a drink? We got one called sex at the beach.. A nice fruity cocktail to ooze you down."

While grinning, finding an excuse to get him drunk.

No? I have something to do with Derek to ‘partner’ for something new coming up so I don’t have time to get drunk maybe later

[mattgoffardofficial]

You seem cranky lately mister Matt Goffard sir. Do you need a blankie?

Highly recommend this one. Very soft. Such silk

I’M NOT A BABY! But yes. I do need that blanket gimme >:p

[mattgoffardofficial]

do u send nudes to people u like

…Don’t ever ask me that question again (ask Derek bitch)

[mattgoffardofficial]

hey Matt, you know what, Derek is MUCH BETTER than you, also Derek is prettier than you

Derek I know thats you stop using Anon🙄

[mattgoffardofficial]

will there be a reality show about your family

Hopefully not (I hope so I wish father will agree)

[mattgoffardofficial]

(the creator of this beautiful art: @theshypinkflower)

Yk Matt... I don't know if I was breastfed as a child... But I know Angelica wasn't

…

*Removes suit* Just this once

[mattgoffardofficial]

Samantha: “Do you like eating bugs? Here, try a roach!”

GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME! 😡

[mattgoffardofficial]

Ky: "Matt can I beat your bastard of a brother he took my bike keys." While currently holding a golf club she stole.

(Right after Derek begged her to drive it)

Hell yeah do it but make sure to make an alibi

[mattgoffardofficial]

Ky: "Alright next-... Holy shit uh *ahem* I.D please before entry..???" Then starts grinning like a fool and holding her hand out clearly intimidated.

yeah sure..you look intimidated

[mattgoffardofficial]

Angelica:"Matt... I'm pregnant"

…What. Angelica we have THREE KIDS and we didn’t even fuck last night?!

[mattgoffardofficial]

Can I eat your arm pls

No..

[mattgoffardofficial]

Let me beat your brother

Gladly

[mattgoffardofficial]

what do you think of Rochelle Ester and gwen?

Rochelle’s a bitch

Gwen is scary

and Ester is well too quiet

(Shypinkflower sorry if you see this -Creator of the account)