mattieartemis

[mattieartemis]

Every single week I cycle through a different coffee shop in my town and ask the barista to make me their favorite drink in a medium. I have an entire spiel:

“All milk is fine, caffeinated and not caffinated i’m game, hot and iced both work, it can be coffee or tea or anything.”

It has yet to fail me. Every time I have tried a new drink I never would have thought to try and every one I’ve had has been amazing. The true delight I’ve seen in baristas faces pondering on what to make me and the joy they have when I like the drink always makes my day and I hope it makes theirs too. It’s the little things of kindness that can make someone’s day and I feel that it helps the world be kinder. Highly recommend doing this yourselves.

[mattieartemis]

Rating Birds in My Garden by How Politely They Eat

Magpie - dangles off the small bird mealworm feeder or tears a rodent apart on the garage roof 4/10

Great tit - throws food everywhere 1/10

Nuthatch - also throws food everywhere but looks cool doing it 2/10

Blue tit - takes a mealworm, lands nearby, eats it in several little bites 10/10

Coal tit - eats a few seeds, leaves, comes back for seconds 7/10

Robin - eats a few seeds, takes a mealworm, goes to eat it elsewhere 9/10

Blackbird - hangs out below the feeder when the great tit and nuthatch have been, takes some garden waste for nesting when it leaves 10/10

Wood pigeon - also hangs out but likes to land on the fence and shit before leaving 6/10

Goldfinch, wren, and bullfinch - never seen them eat ?/10

Honourable mention: the raven that ate some toast on top of the garage - that toast was definitely not made for you 0/10

[mattieartemis]

You ever been in a state where you physically have no energy, but you're bored and socially understimulated so you kind of wish you could just invite people to come over like this:

[mattieartemis]

Polygon employees who did not get laid off:

Tasha Robinson (entertainment editor)

Maddy Myers (I forget her exact title lol editor)

Zoe Hannah (games editor)

Ari Notis (guides editor)

Oil welsh (senior reporter I think)

Simone de Rochefort (senior video editor)

Matt Patches (executive editor)

Russ frushtick (I also forgot his exact title lol)

Another guides editor (Matthew Reynolds) was given the opportunity to stay on but declined it. I don’t fault anyone who stayed on because man ain’t it tough to find a writing job in this economy. And they’ve all expressed outrage on our behalf’s. But it appears valnet gutted everyone in the union and then the top tier management, leaving only some middle management

Also, full disclosure: my last piece will go live on the ghost of polygon dot com in the next few days. My manager had reached out to me letting me know it was up to me whether or not it did, and I said yes because I wanted it to be the last thing attached to my byline. It’s a good one!! I had fun writing it and I want to go out with something I’m proud of

[mattieartemis]

The Fifth Element (1997) dir. Luc Besson – costume design by Jean Paul Gaultier

[mattieartemis]

[mattieartemis]

at this point i wish i could obliterate harry potter from cultural consciousness i hate hearing positive and even neutral references to it. find a new thing

[mattieartemis]

[mattieartemis]

The Origin Story of Rhinoceress

Cindy Shears used to be an ordinary girl until one day, she discovered her superpowers. However, her family were not happy about it so they took her in to be studied by Doctor Kavita Rao. She discovered a DNA variance unique to Cindy and suggested her parents leave Cindy in her care until a cure could be found. Abandoned and locked up, Cindy used her super strength to break out and become the Rhinoceress. While she does engage in some illegal work as a super villain, she also bartends and bounces at the Invisible Light nightclub.

Avengers Academy: Marvel's Voices Infinity Comic #34, 2025

[mattieartemis]

[mattieartemis]

Sorry i haven't replied to your email. A large bird carried me away to an enchanted land where night is day and day is night and i just got back into the office

[mattieartemis]

nonbinary hiker call that trail mx

[mattieartemis]

[mattieartemis]

ATTENTION there are hummingbird species called pufflegs and they are all wearing very silly pants and that’s their defining trait

[mattieartemis]

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[mattieartemis]

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two