maybenotboring

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random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

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SOUND ON.

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I miss working at the sex store people would really walk up to me and say shit like "I need help making my wife cum" and I'd be like yeah. I know just the thing brother

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Hey, so--we cooled your boyfriend down to a hundredth of a kelvin above absolute zero. Yeah, it was so cold that all of the chemical reactions in his body ceased. Sorry. We, uh, yeah, we used him as a dielectric material in a tiny qubit. And then we quantum-entangled him with another qubit, just to see if we could. Sorry. Yeah, anyway, we thawed him out after two weeks and apparently he's doing fine now. Didn't really teach us anything about how quantum processes work in biological systems, but it sure was, uh, cool. If you'll pardon the pun.

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i need to smoke a joint with him so so bad

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The science behind THC + alcohol as a combination is literally soo interesting because it basically causes the crimson red duckling in your body to confront the serpent in the bronze vessel of your heart. Basically you feel good because the duckling is able to eat the harmonious seeds stored within the vessel and transfer these positive energies into your body. You can have bad highs when this happens if the duckling awakens the serpent and it bites the duckling. The interesting part is when you ingest alcohol after THC because it floods the vessel and causes the serpent to fall into a deep sleep. The duckling never gets attacked by the serpent when this happens because it is unconscious and the duckling is actually able to get fat from the harmonious seed, which causes an enjoyable sensation.

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Young Thugs new dog is so ugly i'm literally crying rn

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Twinks Be High Key Delusional For Thinking They Will Get Off Easy When The Neo Sultan Comes Around To Revive The Old Empire 😂😂 They Thinking They Will Be A Palace Concubine Being Spoiled And Shit 😂😂😂😂 Bitch Please!!! You Gonna Be A Janissary!!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Just a reminder that it is not your vet’s job to report if your pet got into recreational drugs. We aren’t snitches, we have no obligation to report drug use. We do, however, want to save your pet so please be honest with us about what your pet got into. It could literally be life and death for them.

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[x]

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who is blasting linkin park at work the only other coworkers at the office are like 40+. Incredible

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Okay I know I posted the first one already but it's a collection now. Anyway don't you ever get so tired of this

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i....found a rare shoegaze tape. legit. band does not exist online. tape is at least 20 years old. This is so Sam

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the thing is, that, it's the economics of it all. and of course you have the markets

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