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[mazhira-soshanna]

Cassandra heard the spell, and closed her eyes, knowing what was coming. This was the part that bothered her, sometimes, if she wasn't sufficiently out of her head. The potion was keeping her from knowing just why it bothered her, though. Her thoughts were slippery, running away from her as she tried to catch them.

[mazhira-soshanna]

[mazhira-soshanna]

Cassandra sighed. "Yeah, I know." Damn boy and his hero complex. She knew he'd be far too noble to just leave her alone, but she had to try. She didn't want to be a burden. "I'm sorry, neshama. I just... get like this sometimes." Truthfully, it hadn't happened in awhile, but now... gods, she needed out. 

[mazhira-soshanna]

Cassandra eyed the castle distrustfully. She didn't want to go back there until she had a better handle on herself. "You can. Don't let me stop you." She just needed something to get her out of her head, if only for a moment. If she could only find herself for a moment- lose herself for a moment? - maybe she could fix this.

[mazhira-soshanna]

Cassandra blew her hair out of her face, shrugging. "Potions, alcohol, dancing, crazy sex, getting blitzed out of my mind and forgetting who I am, much less what I was worried about..." she shook her head. "All sorts of ill-advised things."

[mazhira-soshanna]

"You don't have to worry about me," she repeated. She didn't want to be anyone's obligation. "I just... need to find something to anchor me." Maybe she should go try to find Thaddeus... but that would require making it back to the castle and then anticipating where he'd be, all without incident. And it would require pulling him out of whatever he was doing, and she didn't want to do that. 

[mazhira-soshanna]

"Nothing, just..." she shook her head, trying to clear it. "Spiraling a bit. It's nothing. It happens. You don't need to worry." She didn't want him to have to worry about her. She'd be fine, eventually. She might wake up a few cities over, but she'd be fine.

[mazhira-soshanna]

"What?" Cassandra turned to him, trying to focus through the swirl of memories. She hated when this happened. She felt like she was coming unhinged from time, floating through her past. Things that had happened years ago felt like they were yesterday, and she couldn't quite remember anything that had happened that week. "Castle. Right. If you want." She hoped that was a proper answer. Gods, he probably thought her insane.

[mazhira-soshanna]

[mazhira-soshanna]

Cassandra nodded absently, hardly hearing him. Her mind was whirring, dredging up memories of the past that she had tried so hard to repress. She'd tried to move on from Vieve, convinced she hadn't followed her because she hadn't cared to- but the real dagger here was the memory of Elishya, of David and Rivka, of everything that had made her flee Tel Aviv. Why the memory of Genevieve was triggering this she wasn't sure, but it was probably because that was the one moment when she had needed her friend most. 

[mazhira-soshanna]

Cassandra considered this for a second. "I really can't see myself fitting in anywhere, to be honest. I mean, I don't really do the whole group thing. Never been any good at it." And now you're right back to where you were trying not to go, she chided herself. She had forgotten what she had been panicking about, and now it hit her again like a wave. 

[mazhira-soshanna]

[mazhira-soshanna]

Cassandra considered him for a moment, before turning back to glance around at the village. She wanted to ask why he wanted to be in the snake gang, but she felt that might be a bit intrusive. "So where do you think I would be? If i had grown up here."

[mazhira-soshanna]

"You sure you're not supposed to be in eagle gang, neshama? You certainly talk like one of them." Sometimes he reminded her of the one other student who'd gone out of his way to talk to her- though he never talked about personal things. He just wanted knowledge and books, endlessly, endlessly books. 

[mazhira-soshanna]

"Oh, nothing in particular, really. Just thinking back to someo f the adventures we've had." Cassandra smirked. 

[mazhira-soshanna]

Cassandra sighed. "Well is it safe for you to go out?" 

"I don’t know. I’m just tired of being cooped up inside."

[mazhira-soshanna]

Cassandra shook herself slightly. "Alright, alright. What do you want to do, anyway?"

Vieve sighed and kissed her face, trying to coax her into getting up.