mbappemira

[mbappemira]

Why am I so deeply in love ?

I’ve always been an independent girl, navigating life on my own terms. Since I was born, I’ve often felt uncomfortable sharing my feelings or thoughts. I’ve cried myself to sleep, wiped my tears alone, and pretended that everything was fine by morning. Yet, despite this emotional solitude, I found myself falling deeply in love with someone who brought joy into my life.

In 2019, I became interested in a boy who seemed to embody everything I admired: he was vibrant, outgoing, and full of life, surrounded by friends and laughter. Our connection began during a time when the world was at a standstill due to quarantine. We started playing PUBG Mobile together, which became our shared escape from the isolation we all felt. He was fun to talk to, and as we spent more time gaming and chatting, I discovered we had so much in common.

It was during these moments that I began to open up in ways I never thought possible. For the first time, I felt comfortable expressing my thoughts and feelings to someone else. His warmth and energy drew me in, making it easier for me to share parts of myself that I had always kept hidden. Our conversations felt effortless, and I found myself looking forward to our time together.

However, as quarantine eased, I lost contact with him. The abrupt end to our connection left me feeling lost and yearning for the companionship we had built. This experience made me realize just how deeply I had fallen in love with him, despite my usual tendencies to guard my heart.

In this journey, I’ve learned that love can thrive even in unexpected circumstances. It has shown me the importance of vulnerability and connection, even for someone as independent as I am. My feelings for him have opened a new chapter in my life, challenging me to embrace my emotions and allowing me to see the beauty in sharing my world with another person.

As I reflect on this love, I recognize that it has taught me about the importance of connection and the joy that comes from letting someone in.

[mbappemira]

I am a disappointment

I am a disappointment, I am a chinese school student my life always have loads of activities and tuition. To achieve excellence as a student is not simply about intelligence or natural talent, it is a result of discipline, hard work, and a genuine passion for learning. I often ace my exams and co-curriculum. 6 years has passed, I enter a malay high school in my city. I've changed 360 degrees, the way I act and the way I talked. I am not a , "Student of Hope" anymore, I'm just a ordinary student, usually during exam's I often said , "I hope I got an A" but now it's just , "I hope I passed". I noticed that I changed but l ignore it as my friends also do the same as we enjoyed our high schools era. The day has come, the day that every student afraid which is "SPM" my friends has started to studying, and I ? still playing around and act like this "SPM" is not a big deal to "us". The big day has come, the exam's has passed I would say I didn't studied hardly like I used to do at my "UPSR" | don't want to think much as my mind keep telling me that ,"you usually ace your exam's remember? you will ace it again, don't worry". 3 month passed, I read thru my exam slip, I ace my English subject but I was stunned by looking all the bad grades that have been written on my exam slip, my mind do the talked again , "It's okay this results still can bring you to another education level" which is Diploma. As I searching for college to level up my education level, I did not match any of their requirement to enter. As my friends have started their journey to college and university, I was at home mentally drained , "How to enter an university or college using this kindresults?" I started to regret about how I did not studied well, I disappoint my parents .

I was a an excellent student? How did I become like this ? My family was proud of me because I am bilingual, now what they should proud of ? My bad results ?

[mbappemira]

Am I the problem?

I was grateful since day one met my roommate, she was so kind and joyful. She don't need grand gestures to express love, it's in the small thing they do everyday, by checking in to see how am doing, sending an encouraging message when least expect it. I would describe myself a friendly person, being friendly is not just a habit for me, it's a way of life that has shaped my interactions with others, but one thing about me it is hard for me to find a friend that I am comfortable to talk to, mostly it is just a "Hi" "Bye" situation. I use to have 2 roommates, 1 has moved to another college, it is just me and 'her"

We enjoyed talking to each other about our day, there is nothing wrong since. Month passed she often leave me alone she gave me an excuse that she wanted to hangout with her classmates, I felt left out since. I tried to ignore because I don't want to felt sad about small little things, little did I know I am hurted and fragile. One good day, she ask me , "what do you feel if I moved out to my classmates room" I said , "It's okay, it's your choice" , she was happy and started to pack her things. I was surprised because

I was with her since day one, why don't her felt hesitate to leave me alone in the room by myself? Am I the problem ? After 15 minutes passed I asked her again ,

"How could you leave me alone?" she said , "It's my choice, right?". She closed the door, I looked around her locker was empty, there is no things left at the table.

Suddenly my eyes filled with tears, my heart was heavy to accept the reality. I was all alone, again