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mbti-community1789 · 5 years ago

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ESFJ x ISFP is not ideal relationship.

💝I don’t say this couple is failing. It just means there are many difficulties and you can get close anytime if you try and care. If you try to be considerate, you will create a compatible compatibility.

🛑Most of the compatibility charts circulating on the Internet have been discussed by Facebook Group and analyzed in detail, and it is judged to be false because there is no solid basis. Therefore, you can ignore it and move on. What I want to say while writing this is that I cannot give clarity to this logic.

🚫Please refrain from excessive blind faith. It relationship hard, but it doesn’t really make your relationship that way. Relationships are determined by the environment and the situation, and the theory of relationships does not fully explain them.

ESFJ and ISFP are not ideal match. And their real relationship.

This is observation, experience, analysis. I don’t want to hurt you with this article. I just want to tell you the truth. I’m talking for you, for false knowledge. We must realize this and we must not neglect it. We must seek and dig the truth.

urgently notifying you because the wrong information has been leaked in Google search.

I’m ready to respect them even if they disagree. Google’s personality page says, “ESFJ’s natural partners are ISFP and INFP.” That’s actually wrong. In the theory of Socionics, ISFP and ESFJ are the contrary relationship.

All of these errors began with the distortion of the theory of perspective. They saw in the Socionics that the mirror relationship was the best in the middle, and the Socionics type and MBTI type were so similar that they misinterpreted the contrary relationship as a mirror relationship that they made the wrong information.

Socionics contrary relationship is ESFJ and ISFP.Socionics type ISFp — SiFe psychological functions use= MBTI ISFJ type.Socionics type ISFj — FiSe psychological functions use= MBTI ISFP type.

quote from the following article.https://www.socionics.com/rel/cnt.htmhttps://www.crystalknows.com/personality-type/relationship/isfp-esfj

1. Personality is different because the functions are different. This difference can cause many conflicts.

Psychological function of ESFJ (harmonious)

Primary function (dominant function, highest ability): extroverted emotion (Fe)

Secondary function (a function supporting primary function): Introvert sense (Si)

3rd function (a little bit less, but soon more usable when developed): extrovert intuition (Ne)

Quadratic function (too low function=too low critical weakness): Introverted thinking (Ti)

Psychological Function of ISFP (Artistic)

Primary function (dominant function, highest ability): Introverted emotion (Fi)

Secondary Function (a function supporting primary function): Extrovert sense (Se)

3rd function (a little bit less, but soon more usable when developed): Introvert intuition (Ni)

Quadratic function (too low function=too low critical weakness): extroverted thinking (Te)

Therefore, it is no exaggeration to say that the contrary relationship is true in Socionics theory. Their four functions are all the opposite, so their minds and values are different. This difference is likely to cause many conflicts. Also, their psychological functions can misunderstand and distort each other’s thoughts because of different languages.

2. In the theory of socionics, ESFJ and ISFP are diametrically contrary relationships. In other words, they belong to a bad relationship.

3. This relationship is very insufficient and bad. Because they can complement each other’s weaknesses a little bit personally. But it’s just a little bit. This relationship’s each personality is also the opposite.

4. In these relations, it is difficult to achieve full understanding. Despite mutual interests and common ground, partners often argue about petty details, to which they tend to pay too much attention. These relations are called “extinguishment” because partners extinguish each other’s initiatives — sometimes by highlighting their shortcomings, other times by their inability to further and support such initiatives. With such a partner, it is difficult to find considerable support for one’s projects, but it is always interesting to exchange opinions, suggestions and requests. Contrary partners get along better when they work separately, since together they pay too much attention to minor mistakes of each other. Such criticism are received especially painfully in the presence of strangers. Third partner upsets this delicate balance even more. If someone’s personal interests have been infringed upon, these relations can fall apart. They are more tolerant at a certain distance. With close and prolonged contact, fatigue and irritation set in due to protracted disputes.

5. Here, provide four identical functions in different directions to two people on the same channel. And, simultaneously — not a single identical communication function for the same function. This means that these partners do not have an important area to have the same perspective.

If attention is paid to external processes through extroverted functions, the other focuses on internal states through introverted functions, and vice versa. As a result, it becomes difficult for these partners to understand and agree with each other, if they intentionally intend to look at the same problem from the opposite perspective — this is sometimes beneficial for creative research.

So during the meeting, they are attracted to each other’s “mystery.” This often leads to hasty union and marriage among people in this relationship. Not surprisingly, the lives of spouses in these families can be quite tense and difficult, often in danger of breaking up or divorce.

5. ESFJ and ISFP communicate well when interacting one-on-one, and sometimes they are amazed at the ingenuity of each other’s insights and approaches. However, the third participant often breaks this balance. Partners see the same problem from a completely different perspective. If one person observes the external characteristics of an object, the other person observes its internal characteristics. Because in the case of another person, the function is directed in a completely different direction. It’s as if they’re speaking different languages. Therefore, communication becomes somewhat superficial. It is very difficult to do something together and coordinate behavior because even the details lack attention. Partners often feel attracted to each other, mainly because of the mystery that fuels their mutual curiosity. In assumptions formed between opposing types, we find it difficult for partners to reach an agreement, which strain these relationships.

ESFJ and ISFP is Socionics contrary relationship Description

These are relations of an unstable psychological distance. Both partners experience difficulties in establishing and keeping a stable psychological distance between them. The only chance Contrary partners have to get on together well with each other is if they are left alone. In other cases partners usually compete over their strong sides. The reason for this is when somebody else is present, each partner tries to capture the attention of the listener by showing off their strong side. Contrary partners may like some elements of the other partner’s behaviour. This often helps the partners to begin a more close relationship. However, when they are in company, their interaction can change dramatically. The introvert partner usually becomes distant, relations lose warm feelings and become formal and cautious. Both partners may start regretting that they became too trustful.The extrovert partner normally gets the false impression that the introvert partner is deliberately acting against them. This can bring a great deal of misunderstanding and surprise into these relations, as both partners are convinced that before everything was fine. The introvert partner usually starts suppressing the activity of the extrovert partner and may reproach and criticise them. The extrovert partner in return can behave in the same way.The most vulnerable position in these relations belongs to the extrovert partner, who may feel as if they are being betrayed. As a result the extrovert partner could start to worry excessively about their next step so as not to make any mistakes and may therefore become very suspicious. Unfortunately the extrovert partner cannot see that their introvert partner is not as bad as they have begun to imagine.

Relationship Guide

CommunicationHow can ISFP and ESFJ types communicate effectively with each other?ISFP and ESFJ personalities both possess the Sensing and Feeling traits, meaning they are present-focused, conscientious, and enjoy communicating emotionally. However, ISFPs are also more reserved and adaptable, while ESFJs tend to be charismatic and organized. ISFPs should listen to and connect emotionally with ESFJs, while ESFJs should give ISFPs space to be alone when needed.

Resolving ConflictHow can ISFP and ESFJ types resolve conflict?Since ISFPs and ESFJs are both Feeling personalities, they should address conflict by sharing how they feel and showing sensitivity to the other’s emotions. Though neither type enjoys addressing conflict, it’s helpful to keep in mind the benefits of fixing a tense situation. To avoid some of the stress, ISFPs should share their perspective honestly, rather than keeping it to themselves, while ESFJs should be conscious of ISFPs’ need for personal space, allowing them to be alone and process if conflict becomes too tense.

Working TogetherHow can ISFP and ESFJ types work together?ISFPs offer open-mindedness and flexibility to a workplace, while ESFJs bring energy and organization. ISFPs can help ESFJs adapt to unexpected circumstances, while ESFJs can help ISFPs accomplish their personal goals.

Dealing with ChangeHow can ISFP and ESFJ types deal with change?Due to their Perceiving trait, ISFPs tend to naturally accept new situations. ESFJs may struggle a bit more with change, as it interrupts their plans. ISFPs should help ESFJs process and understand change by encouraging them to create a new plan or routine, which may provide ESFJs with a necessary sense of control.

Managing StressISFP and ESFJ types need to seek to understand what brings stress to the other type and should try to avoid causing it when possible.

ISFP types are easily stressed by…

Complex and hypothetical ideas

Repetitive schedules and routines

Criticism from those they value

Large groups of unfamiliar people

ESFJ types are easily stressed by…

Harsh criticism from others

Being forced to make quick decisions

Communication that lacks connection

Lack of quality time with friends and family

ISFPs should avoid being too last-minute with ESFJs; instead, they should try to make loose plans in advance, so ESFJs can set expectations.ESFJs can help ISFPs by spending one-on-one time with them to connect emotionally.

Encouraging and MotivatingISFP and ESFJ types can encourage and motivate each other in their personal and professional lives.

ISFP types are motivated by…

Unexpected and exciting experiences

Learning about how things work

Creating something new and beautiful

Connecting with close friends and family

ESFJ types are motivated by…

Unexpected and exciting experiences

Learning about how things work

Creating something new and beautiful

Connecting with close friends and family

ISFPs can motivate ESFJs by communicating positively and staying relatively organized in their workspace.ESFJs can motivate ISFPs by allowing them to work at their own pace.

#MBTI #ESFJ #ISFP #relationship #Pair

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mbti-community1789 · 6 years ago

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ESFJ & INTP Relationship: Duality

1. Alpha Quadra Duality Relationship (ESFJ & INTP)

These relations are the most favourable and comfortable of all intertype relations providing complete psychological compatibility. Dual partners are like two halves of a whole unit. They usually understand each others intentions without any need to say a word. Dual will naturally protect your weak points and appreciate the strong ones without asking for anything in return. Interaction with your Dual allows you to be yourself without the need to adjust to your partner like in other relations. This often saves both partners a lot of energy which they can use for their own interesting activities. Conflicts between Duals are very rare and if there are any, they are normally short lived and solved without pain. Your Dual partner will love you just for what you are and if there is such a thing as true love then it could probably only occur in relations of Duality.

However, let's not idealise these relations too much. Although theoretically relations of Duality are the best of the best, practically not everybody who is your Dual will make your dreams come true. The reason for this is that we are usually so twisted up during the course of our lives that our already formed and stable views and attitudes can affect our relationships quite heavily. In fact, younger people have more chance to succeed in the quest for their perfect partner than older people. But the chances are always there.

There are at least two conditions to be completed for a successful relationship between Duals. Firstly between the partners there has to be at least a minimal mutual attraction. Secondly and most importantly is that the partners are truly striving for the same or similar things. This may include common interests and/or life goals. Partners that are both seriously thinking about building a family are a good example. Logically saying: two halves of the same whole must not repel or move in the different directions, otherwise the whole will break into pieces. Relations of Duality also go through several stages. The first stage sometimes can be really tense. It is like a new engine that requires a "run in" first. If relations crumble it normally happens in the first stage. The more stages completed by Duals the more unbreakable their relationship.

However, nature has played a little trick on us. It is difficult to notice your Dual partner among all the other types and even easier to pass them by. Usually during first contact extroverts think about their introvert Dual as ordinary and simple, therefore not deserving their personal attention. In return introverts consider their extrovert Dual to be too good for them and therefore unattainable. Both positions usually belong to people who had a lack of Duality interaction during childhood. The magnetic effect of Duality becomes obvious when partners do not see each other for a while. Only after being together for a fair amount of time do the partners start realising how much they need each other. Finally, these relations are most suitable for friendship, marriage and family life. To have a Dual partner is irreplaceable if you have to compete or survive in a socially dangerous environment.

Transliterated Socionics Article. I’ve used the closest matching MBTI terms to prevent confusion.

INTj socionics types are converted to INTP MBTI types using Ti-Ne psychological functions because they use Ti-Ne psychological functions, and ESFj socionics types are converted to ESFJ MBTI types using Fe-Si psychological functions because they use Fe-Si psychological functions. And the LII, ESE, are the ESFJ-type and INTP-type alpha quadra.

ESFJ (ESFj Socionics type, ESE, Fe-Si): A sociable and cheerful person, pleasant and attentive companion, the soul of the company. He knows how to manage the mood of other people, raise it in times of despair, or ruin it for those who have not lived up to his trust or lost his respect. Because of his straightforwardness and passionate temper, ESFJ often jeopardizes relationships and so needs a partner who can keep cool and calm, and who will understand everything and give him objective advice.

ESFJ is practical and expedient in domestic matters, loves to take care of others. He tries to do everything himself, rarely asks others for help. However, he is also emotional and sensitive, and therefore needs praise, empathy, and participation.

He has a developed aesthetic taste, pays great attention to the beauty around him — from his own appearance to the interior of his living space. Poorly tolerates miserliness in partners. He prefers to earn money and spend it on his own.

Optimistic and careless, ESFJ need advice of a partner who is not only farsighted, but one who can succinctly and accurately analyze any situation and deliver a clear and unambiguously worded summary or forecast, leaving no room for doubts and alternatives.

ESFJ is inclined to take on too much work and activities, including that which is unnecessary. INTP must monitor his activities, cutting off the excess and assisting only in the essential, which he is able to do gently, in form of clear logical advice.

INTP (INTj socionics type, LII, Ti-Ne): In this pair INTP acts as a sensible, reliable and intelligent friend, and ESFJ — as a vibrant, caring and loving parent, which ensures in general a harmony of mind and senses.

INTP possesses clear logical thinking, trying to explain to others his understanding of things and becomes very upset if no one listens to his opinion. Therefore, he needs a cooperative partner, who has a sense of humor, and who is flexible and diplomatic.

INTP prefers to plan his activities and does not like to change his plan when something else is imposed on him. His partner should listen to his advice, respect his wishes, and try to not disturb his plans.

INTP finds it difficult to constantly think about the pressing needs of the family, because his mind is often elsewhere, sometimes submerged in his work and research. Thus, domestic issues mostly fall on the shoulders of ESFJ, who requests the help of his partner only if he cannot manage himself. In such cases, he draws INTP into the process not by orders and directives, but with his emotions and enthusiasm. INTP then splits the task into steps and consecutively solves it.

INTP finds it difficult to be pushy and zealous, and often suffers during conflicts due to lack of break-through qualities. It is difficult for him to defend the interests of his case, and to listen later to accusations of inertness and lack of energy — just unbearable. Active, persistent partner, able to achieve goals that he sets earns his respect and gratitude.

INTP experiences great difficulties when it is necessary to take the initiative in a relationship or show his feelings. Because of this, he is often considered a dry and unapproachable person. He needs a partner who will take responsibility for creating and maintaining relaxing, warm and pleasant atmosphere in communication.

Terms of dualization:

1. INTP type should be listened to by ESFJ type advice, and need to be more friendly and tactful in relationships with others. On the other hand, because the ESFJ type is affected by emotion, the ESFJ type can ruin the relationship, and then the INTP type can help stabilize the ESFJ type with its own sober logical arguments.

2. ESFJ types, which are train and active, know various real problems and tactical methods, help INTP types in solving problems in areas that are too complex for INTP types.

3. ESFJ type is careless and imprudent, and does not see the possible consequences of an issue well, so insightful advice of INTP type is needed, especially with respect to monetary and economic matters. Establishing strategic goals and initiating events in time should be done by INTP type.

4. In the intimate realm, the initiative to abandon all prejudices and reveal emotions is, "Don't love me - you have to be careful of my love!It should fall to the ESFJ type, who acts quickly and confidently in this field under the principle of `` . The cold, expressionless, shy, and unsure of the right to be loved by INTP type by this demeanor causes the ESFJ type's emotional expansionism unconsciously. And here's a sexual secret: Without emotional preparation, the genitals of INTP types are generally hard to wake up.

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