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i sent her a text that said, “i like your butt.” i know that’s kinda immature, but it truly was an amazing butt, the kinda butt that slowed down time and made me forget how old i was kinda butt. But it wasn’t a big “i love big butts and i cannot lie” kinda butt, but the kinda butt that heated me up and made me unbutton the top two buttons on my button-up kinda butt. Asking what’s so good about a butt like hers is like asking what’s so good about my grandma’s creamy pumpkin soup - there’s just no ifs, ands or buts. And boy she knew it, and pretty much abused it, because that butt was her bread and butter, i mean that butt needed its own damn butler, that butt buttered me up so much i got dumber than joey buttafuoco or beavis and butthead kinda butt. And i do apologize for objectifying the butt, she was no “buttaface,” she had a beautiful face and tons of taste, but i promise that if you saw the butt face-to-face, you wouldn’t have any buts about that truly amazing butt. 🍑
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