meanfaggot

[meanfaggot]

[meanfaggot]

There was a Neanderthal in the kitchen.

His name was — inexplicably — Abba.

“That sounds so fake,” Brittney said.

The two of them watched Abba try to work his way around the concept of a box of Lucky Charms. He had managed the trick of the cardboard flaps, and was struggling manfully with the plastic bag.

“I like it,” said Charlie.

“Yeah, but Abba? We have the most scientifically significant discovery in human history in our kitchen, and his name is Abba.”

Abba flipped over the bag to see if the other side would open any easier.

“I can’t hear that name without thinking Waterloo,” Brittney said.

“Actually, that’s really interesting,” said Charlie. “We know he’s a father, and a lot of languages have a word for ‘mother’ and ‘father’ that are made from an open vowel sound and a bilabial consonant. Mama and papa. Ama and aba. Linguists say we borrowed these words from baby babble and used them to describe ourselves.”

Abba was trying to open the bag with his teeth.

“So?”

“So, if the same is true for Neanderthals, then for hundreds of thousands of years, for as long as we have known ourselves, we have held our children in our arms and loved them, and when they babbled at us we found words and named ourselves with them,” Charlie said. “We’ve done it since prehistory, and we’ve done it over and over again in a thousand languages until—”

There was a popping sound, followed by a little rattling hail of oats.

Abba stood at the epicentre of an explosion of cereal, blinking. Pastel-coloured marshmallows clung to his face and beard.

Brittney and Charlie stared to see if there would be a reaction of some kind. Then: “You good, Abba?”

Abba plucked a blue moon from his cheek and popped it into his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully and gave a thumbs up.

“Also weird that Neanderthals had the thumbs up thing, apparently,” Brittney muttered.

“Well, it’s like what I was saying. He’s proof that we’ve been repeating the same behaviours over and over again through history.”

There was a thoughtful silence. Abba chewed noisily and with sticky delight.

Then Brittney said, in a slightly far away voice: “So the history book on the shelf is always repeating itself.”

“Fuck off.”

[meanfaggot]

thanks nintendo

[meanfaggot]

Giethoorn in Netherlands has no roads or any modern transportation at all, only canals. Well, and 176 bridges too. Tourists have to leave their cars outside of the village and travel here by foot or boat by. So you can probably imagine how peaceful it is here.

[meanfaggot]

terrible website feature that came to me in a dream

[meanfaggot]

any game with a username filter has to, by necessity, have a list of every swear word and slur somewhere in its code

[meanfaggot]

Being sensitive to changes in barometric pressure is crazy what do you mean my problem is that the wind changed direction. What do you mean it's the fuckin clouds

[meanfaggot]

*gulp* um err gosh I wish you hadn't caught me like this... Well um it just that I was hoping to be a bit more dressed.

Um yes that's a good question well I'm Douglas and I've been hanging out in your fridge a while now and I couldn't help but notice you seem a bit down and I thought maybe I'd make you something nice to cheer you up.

[meanfaggot]

[meanfaggot]

[meanfaggot]

pigin.mp4

[meanfaggot]

the entire budget of the US military should be reallocated to insect research

[meanfaggot]

tweet

Something like this would be so colossally helpful. I'm sick and tired of trying to research specific clothing from any given culture and being met with either racist stereotypical costumes worn by yt people or ai generated garbage nonsense, and trying to be hyper specific with searches yields fuck all. Like I generally just cannot trust the legitimacy of most search results at this point. It's extremely frustrating. If there are good resources for this then they're buried deep under all the other bullshit, and idk where to start looking.

[meanfaggot]

[meanfaggot]

do you guys ever like forget you're interested in something until you start engaging with it again and you go "oh wait i'm like crazy crazy about this yeah"

[meanfaggot]

Higgledy-piggledy unparliamentary green parrots quarrel outside in the trees

Squawking out epithets uncomplimentary Squads of unmannerly Oversized peas.