mechasquid - Tumblr blog

[mechasquid]

I moved blogs mutuals can message me for my new URL

My paranoia is really bad so I’m very sorry if I’m not comfortable giving it to you.

If I know you irl I’ll send it to you if I want you to have it 

-don’t unfollow pls I may come back here eventually-

[mechasquid]

I moved blogs mutuals can message me for my new URL

My paranoia is really bad so I’m very sorry if I’m not comfortable giving it to you.

If I know you irl I’ll send it to you if I want you to have it 

-don’t unfollow pls I may come back here eventually-

[mechasquid]

I moved blogs mutuals can message me for my new URL

My paranoia is really bad so I’m very sorry if I’m not comfortable giving it to you.

If I know you irl I’ll send it to you if I want you to have it 

-don’t unfollow pls I may come back here eventually-

[mechasquid]

I moved blogs mutuals can message me for my new URL

My paranoia is really bad so I’m very sorry if I’m not comfortable giving it to you.

If I know you irl I’ll send it to you if I want you to have it 

-don’t unfollow pls I may come back here eventually-

[mechasquid]

I moved blogs mutuals can message me for my new URL

My paranoia is really bad so I’m very sorry if I’m not comfortable giving it to you.

If I know you irl I’ll send it to you if I want you to have it 

-don’t unfollow pls I may come back here eventually-

[mechasquid]

I moved blogs mutuals can message me for my new URL

My paranoia is really bad so I’m very sorry if I’m not comfortable giving it to you.

If I know you irl I’ll send it to you if I want you to have it 

-don’t unfollow pls I may come back here eventually-

[mechasquid]

I moved blogs mutuals can message me for my new URL

My paranoia is really bad so I’m very sorry if I’m not comfortable giving it to you.

If I know you irl I’ll send it to you if I want you to have it 

-don’t unfollow pls I may come back here eventually-

[mechasquid]

My delusional brain says the CIA and FBI are involved in me being watched because I've been labeled a "threat" for some reason. My rational brain says that's surely not the case but also you can never be too safe. Of course if they are watching me my devices are all probably bugged...which means moving blogs won't do anything if they are involvedd.

[mechasquid]

I moved blogs mutuals can message me for my new URL

My paranoia is really bad so I’m very sorry if I’m not comfortable giving it to you.

If I know you irl I’ll send it to you if I want you to have it 

-don’t unfollow pls I may come back here eventually-

[mechasquid]

I can't even tell how much of my worrying is paranoia and delusion because some of it actually isn't and that has me fucked up real bad.

[mechasquid]

I moved blogs mutuals can message me for my new URL

My paranoia is really bad so I’m very sorry if I’m not comfortable giving it to you.

If I know you irl I’ll send it to you if I want you to have it 

-don’t unfollow pls I may come back here eventually-

[mechasquid]

Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one

[mechasquid]

*remembers everything I do is being monitored* *dissociates*

[mechasquid]

Nope, it's not really anything like sleep paralysis and can happen any time of the day.

Ok I’m gonna explain this feeling I get the best I can and idk just lemme know if there’s a name for it.

It’s like I’m manic but I also can’t move I’ll be disoriented and half out of it and my mind will be racing and I just need to do something but don’t know what and can’t even really do much. Usually I end up having a “fit” I’ll kick and flail and punch things and myself as I’m curled up on the bed or something. Sometimes it’s more “quiet” and I’ll just curl up in a ball gripping my head while shaking. Sometimes I’ll have increased paranoia. I’ll feel like I’m coming out of my own skin and nothing will feel right and everything is always uncomfortable . I can’t put a mood to it because it IS a mood but a mood I can’t describe. It’s different than a mixed state too btw because I get that too sometimes. It’s worse if I forget to take my mood stabilizers btw. This was a daily event before I started taking them.

What is this??? Does anyone else get this?? I’m tagging everything I know I have, I probably forgot something but idk

[mechasquid]

I guess I should try 2 sleep When I sleep in a mood like this I have nightmares so that's fun :)

[mechasquid]

I still don't feel like me and it's all wrong I won't but I low key wanna change my name because I feel so not me

[mechasquid]

When ur 2 emotionally numb 2 sleep