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Have a read (not entirely safe)

Has anyone ever when something very first defined the personality they have today for every situation??? Either way . I’m just gonna share with you a bunch of random times from my life. You may believe it or you may not. It is not all entirely insane but i’ll get there. A little background on my family , cancer, mental disorders ( of extreme means ) , and a few physical disabilities. 

So i was gonna start with this sentence ,but also diabetes.

Remember poking people for fun?? Well my family has a fantastic story about that regarding a bus ride home. In their version they came to wait for me to get off the bus . only to find other parents in a commotion. Apparently this 3rd grader wouldn’t quit poking me .So I pulle dhim off the bus and went to town . Now whats funny to all of us is that it took 3 grown men to tear me off the boy. Of course I don’t remember this. What I do remember is that sometime in the near future I decided to walk to my babysitters house . She was honestly alot of fun to be around. We all lived in a trailer park in a town I dont care to mention ( and apparently im to lazy to make grammatical corrections) Either way i’m on my way to her house and in the process im skipping rocks because what else do children do? A boy on the right was standing at the bottom of his stairs and started picking on me . I kept walking and skipping my rocks and as fate would have it one of my rocks knocked him square in the stomach . And I ended up being shoved into a bed of stickers , and may I say that shit sucks big balls like balls you could not fit into any area on your body . So I got up and ran , my entire intention was to get to my house. Along the way I found a metal pipe and why wouldn’t I pick t up? There was no logical reason in my mind not to beat the kid with it. So I grabbed it and ran back towards him and from there I broke his nose and bruised a couple ribs. In my mind he deserved it . Shouldn’t have pushed me in the stickers. Next thing I remember my mother and I heard a knock on the door and i kept screaming I didn’t do it. But of course I did. Ya’ll kids are dangerous when cornered. my mom answered the door and there is the boy along with his dad and his other kids. His sisters kept laughing sayinmg o she whooped his ass . But the dad happened to be the landlord , so like slumlords go there were consequences.

That is the first time I remember getting in a fight. The first time I saw 4 cop cars ever in my life was again in the near future. So my uncle grabs me from school and decides to take me to the store with him so I could get some candy . Well we were gone longer than expected. when we got home My mom my grandma everyone is running around yelling my name cops are searching and my uncle just starts dying laughing . When we parked my mom punched the shit out of him for not telling her. They all thought I was taken. But of course me and my uncle thought it was funny. ( although kidnapping happens all the time and is no joke) 

Later in my life I was playing tetherball having a blast and I got hit in the face that is the first time I have ever felt uncontrollable anger. Of course I knew it was an accident, but I definitely did not let that go . I charged the kid and we smacked on the concrete jarring us both and again went to town. All of this has a point .

At age 7 I kicked my doctor in the shin , because they asked me if I wanted medicine . I had just been diagnosed with adhd and was not having it.

Again at age 7 I bit a cop in the leg. Now I’m not saying it was justifiable i’m just saying that he wasn’t going to take the person he was trying to take. So I latched on. The person in my family tells me a story later in life about how when they got to the station the officers asked what happened because his leg was bloody. one officer automatically jumps up and asked if he needs help escorting this person . The officer then says no it wasn’t them , officer number asks then who was it. A seven year old he says and of course they all get  a kick out of it . ya’ll cops keep us safe and I understand that we feel like we wil never get our family back sometimes but i’m also suggesting unless you are an adorable 7 year old just do what your told.

I guess being 7 was a big year for me. I found a frozen squirrell , always was at the skating rink , first motorcycle ride and also the very first time I learned as a girl what it felt like to be racked. My bright idea was to balance on a metal railing 3 ft off the ground when it was raining. i mean I was bored . Either way I slipped and let me explain it this way. very simply I puked everywhere and could not walk. I had a pelvic bruise for days.

Well lucky me that passed before I got my bicycle. Or so I thought. Two instances in that same year resulting in injury. Once very little but handle bar jammed into my stomach scraping it but no bleeding I was winding but the only thing left of that still today is a circle spot on my tummy that never gets dark Its the whitest part of my entire body .

The next I was riding over to my babysitters again but as fate would have it I drop my juicy fruit over the side of the bridge that divided both parts of the trailer park. Well I was going to hits my brakes but instead pushed forward. The next thing i see is the bridge from 8 feet down on a concrete slab and my shoes a somewhere no clue where and my socks stuck in the barbwire and I realize i can’t move my right leg. I manage my way out of the creek and my pastor took me back home and i made me way inside until my uncle was told to take me to the hospital and to add insult to injury there were only three steps in front of the door. My leg decides to fully lock and I fac eplant in the gravel and what does my uncle do ? laughs because what else are you supposed to do when a kid busts ass. We get to the hospital and he jacks my wheel chair and disappears. 

That’s all the randoms i’m gonna give for now my hands are tired soif anyone reads this enjoy I hope it made you laugh and Hope you take the little bits of advice. And i apologize if the sentence structure bothers you I dont want to fix it anyhow.

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POST # ONE

Small town life has a way of pulling you into its depths. Chronic illness has a way of taking you apart in ways you never thought possible. Once you put these two together you have my life. I woke up again, to the familiar smell of sanitized everything. I mean isn’t that strange that everything in a hospital is white and smells way to clean? So clean it smells like cleaner. I feel it’s an attempt at sensory deprivation, but who knows? The room seemed to be the one I had been in every time I ended up in one of these beds, but what do I know. My eyes trailed down my arms checking for bruising or anything else that may be telling. On my right arm an I.V on my left band aids. Probably from shots. Meribelle, the nurse came in to find that I had woken up. Her face read sad, but happy that I had woken up. I have asthma ok? It’s not unheard of just when you are my age the attacks are supposed to lessen. Only in my case it’s obvious that isn’t the case. In other words, almost monthly I end up here for a short stay because my everything in my chest loves to swell up due to multiple catalysts. She strode over to the side of my bed, checked my vitals and assured me my moms would be in shortly to pick myself and my things up. I wondered at that. Hoping beyond hope my moms would just bring my car. Now when I say moms I do mean two moms.