mefirstlastandalways

[mefirstlastandalways]

Well that was disappointing to say the least..

Sorry for the incoherent rambling but i need to get it out of my system.

⚠️ SPOILER WARNING ⚠️

The plot was all over the place and added so much unecessary lore and character. Nothing happened for 90 minutes and when finally something vaguely interesting occurs the movie ends. We had to wait five years and they couldn’t even finish the f*ing movie.

On top of that Nicky and Joe were barely there at all. The few scenes they had were nice, but they barely scratched the surface... Why set up an argument between them, only to not give us any payoff ? We needed to see how they resolved their disagreement, how they fonction as a couple when there's tension. Instead we got cut off discussions and apparently an off screen reconciliation.

And don’t get me started on Nile ! She got done so dirty ! She is the centre centerpoint of the plotline but is relegated as background character ? Make it make sense ! By the end of the movie, she doesn’t even know about her power ?!

Booker actions were even more selfish than in the first movie and i couldn’t have cared less about his death. And the movie either apparently since the scene was so emotionless.

Tuah was... there, i guess ? I still don’t knpw why though. Since he couldn’t bother to tell the team the absolutely vital piece of information he knew from the start about Nile. Why would you let them go on the mission without knowing on the team members could accidently kill them ?! This is the most stupid sh*t ever !

Andy and Quynh had a semblance of an act, but once more nothing was explored at all, and everything is magically fixed at the end, somehow ? Guess it’s fairly easy to get over litteral hundreds years of constant torture...

I'm so pissed right now. Yes the actors are good, some of the shots were cool, but even the actions scene were dull and boring compared to the first one.

They had great characters, an incredibly interesting lore to explore and they did that with it ?

I wanted to love it but is was so bad !

If somehow you're reading this and haven’t seen TOG2 yet, don’t. Just keep rewatching the first one and pretend the sequel never existed. That’s what I'll do.

[mefirstlastandalways]

Some more 2 Old 2 Guard thoughts, having calmed down a little (but not a lot)

Spoilers galore, obviously!

Okay so I'm gonna sort this vaguely by character in hope of some semblance of cohesion. It's probably not gonna be that cohesive anyway because my thoughts bounce around a lot but ah well!

Andy & Quynh

Charlize Theron continues to be incredible, I really loved her performance in this movie.

Also the lesbian mullet. Woooweeee. That was hot.

I really liked the dynamic between Andy and Quynh. I had been really worried about how they would handle that, because obviously Quynh was going to be really angry, and possibly a li'l bit insane after what she's been through, and I wanted that to be explored but also obviously I was rooting for a reunion and forgiveness in the end. Their arc more or less gave me what I wanted. I feel like they could've gone deeper into Andy's experiences after losing Quynh and why she eventually stopped looking, because that can't have been easy, and if I were Quynh I would not have been satisfied with the explanations that were offered for that.

I do wish they hadn't returned Andy's immortality before Quynh even got a chance to learn about her mortality. I think it would've been juicier for Quynh to injure Andy and realise oh shit she's not healing, and have to grapple with losing the person that meant the most to her but also who she was really angry with, and also with having limited time to fix things between them. Either make them both mortal or leave it as just Andy, if you ask me.

The toxic yuri fight moments did give me life, though. And the beginnings of reconciliation towards the end! Those were lovely!! Honestly for the most part this plotline was a huge positive to me!

BUT on the flipside the return of Andy's immortality was a HUGE MISTAKE in my opinion. Really took the bottom out from under everything that was discussed at the end of the last movie and in the first half of this one. Having her grapple with losing her immortality means nothing if it can just be handed back to her! AND okay fine if they end up doing that like they did, THEN HAVE HER AND BOOKER DEAL WITH IT AND NOT JUST (presumably) KILL HIM RIGHT AWAY! Have Andy say "hey Booker, you're doing that thing again where you presume to know what I want with my life and immortality! Did we not talk about this last time! And actually maybe I didn't want my immortality back, which you would have known if you'd ASKED ME!" It steps on her agency so hard to do this, and that at least merits a fucking discussion!! Now they just never did anything with it. Because the movie didn't have an ending. Sigh.

Booker

I really really liked how they added Booker back into the squad. I think it was inevitable, and I very much like that Joe was the one to break first and reunite with him. I also think his conversations with Andy were really good, those were some of my favourite moments in the movie.

I also think the way Booker acted after learning about Nile's "destroyer" ability was very in line with his character, and incredibly well acted.

The scene where he sparred with Nile was also one of my favourites in this movie. It was incredibly juicy. Aside from the fact that I LOATHE the whole concept of "newest immortal can take away immortality and then you can pass it on to anyone you fucking like without their consent", Booker was the correct character to put in that situation.

But crucially I DON'T THINK IT SHOULD HAVE WORKED. I think Booker should've done all he did, fight Nile and then send Andy out to fight thinking she was immortal and himself out to die and THEN REALISE IT DIDN'T WORK. AND THEN THEY WOULD'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH THAT. How does Nile feel about Booker using her essentially to self-harm/kill himself? I would've liked to see that explored! How would Andy feel about the fact that Booker's trying to decide for her again and that despite everything they went through, he's still willing to hurt the others to end his own immortality? I WOULD'VE LIKED TO SEE THAT EXPLORED. (OR, and this would've made less sense for his character, but HAVE HIM NOT BE ABLE TO GO THROUGH WITH IT AFTER ALL! Like, he's like oh hell yeah gonna give up my immortality and give it to Andy and then realise he can't get himself to do it! That would've been interesting!) Instead he just martyrs himself like an idiot, and if we're to assume he's actually dead (well, either way because that third movie is NOT happening), these things will NEVER be explored! I'm truly so mad at the wasted potential here.

Joe & Nicky

I would've like to see more of them! Obviously! I'm biased! But I feel like they set up a lot of interesting things for them that never got explored. (Like most things. Because this movie was MISSING THE LAST QUARTER TO THIRD OF IT. AAUUGHHHHHHH.)

I liked some of their lighter, goofier moments, some not so much. The car chase felt a bit dumb and I didn't like the cartoony thumb and ankle gore, it was silly and gross. I did like their drunk antics, that was cute. I like that they get to be funny and weird sometimes! But I would've liked a bit more dimensions to them beyond that.

For example! I was honestly SO ON BOARD with the "oh I want to spend some time by myself" situation and the following Booker conflict! That shit was juicy! I want to explore their differences and disagreements as well as all the happy lovey stuff! But that didn't really go anywhere after the first discussion, which was a bummer. Obviously I don't want anything permanently detrimental to happen to my boys, but I want them to have complex inner lives of their own! I feel like they conveyed that so concisely and well in the first movie, with just few key moments of dialogue and acting, and here they were mostly relegated to the background and I was bummed about that.

The love declaration speech vol 2 was adorable and very touching, but because there was no follow-up to any of it (BECAUSE THE LAST ACT WAS MISSING), it ended up feeling a little tacked on. Like, okay foreboding sense that their time is coming to an end! Where's that going!! I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT!

Also not enough cuddling and no kissing. What's up with that!!

Nile

I am so frustrated about how little Nile got to do in this movie! Because it basically should've been her movie. And would've been, HAD THEY BOTHERED TO FINISH IT. I can't believe that in a movie mostly centered around Nile's role in the group and abilities, SHE NEVER GOT TO LEARN ABOUT HER ABILITIES. What a clown show.

First of all she shouldn't have that power to begin with, the whole concept was a load of crap. But if she had to have it, MAKE HER GRAPPLE WITH IT. How the dynamic between the group would immediately change. Are they gonna be careful around her and scared of her? Are they gonna want to use her powers to end their immortality? Does she get a choice? What about her own immortality? Is this not what the movie should have been about, if that element had to be introduced????

Also I'm annoyed that they brushed off that whole "hey, are you suddenly okay with all this excessive violence" thing. I'm glad it was brought up, but the fact that she was like "nah it's for the greater good, it's fine" did not feel in line with her character, or at least felt like something that should've been explored further. Like yes, I remember that in the last movie she came to the conclusion that the work they do is important enough to justify the violence, but honestly I feel like in this movie it really wasn't. Like okay, arm dealer bad, gotta kill him, fair enough. Gotta kill DOZENS AND DOZENS OF HIS STAFF AS WELL? How does that sit with the soul, I wonder. It felt gratuitous to me so I think it might've felt gratuitous to Nile as well. But nah who cares.

I would've liked more discussions about how Nile is settling into the immortal life in general.

But anyway Kiki Layne is hot as fuck and Nile is so cool and I love her <3

Tuah

idk it's really weird that he exists

I liked him fine as a character, but you can't just be adding random immortals willy-nilly like this! That really stepped on everything we thought we knew about how the immortals worked and who they were but okay then.

He should've just been a cool librarian dude, I wish they weren't all warriors!

He was cute and I liked his interactions with the main crew well enough. But again, the character existing is a big problem for the lore, so that kinda got in the way of my enjoyment.

Discord

Literally the biggest problem of this whole movie to me (aside from all the other stupid lore shit they changed).

There should not be an older immortal than Andy. And if there was, THEY SHOULD ALL KNOW ABOUT IT, WAS THAT NOT HOW THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO WORK?!? And since Tuah is suddenly someone Andy also knows, would this woman's existence not have come up?? Somewhere in the past several hunderd/thousand years??

NO, see what I think they should've done is either A) just make her a mortal?? Maybe a mortal who's conned everyone into thinking she's an immortal and is playing the rest of the team against each other in hopes of gaining immortality! That could be juicy! But a greedy mortal all the same! or B) make her someone who's gotten her immortality more recently! Like idk, if she knows about this stupid-ass ✨LEGEND✨ that's so convenient, she should've gotten her immortality by somehow having someone else lose theirs! Make her a mortal who knows about the immortals and this fuck-ass legend and have her manipulate Nile into injuring Booker or Quynh or something idfk and have her gain immortality that way!

Then the movie would've been about the old immortals who are So So Tired and Andy - who is the oldest - having lost her immortality, and these newbies/mortals being like OOH IMMORTALITY GIMME IT. Wouldn't that have been something to build a movie around?? (idk. like. the first movie. which explored this theme with great success and thematic cohesion...)

I do think there's thematic potential in a super ancient immortal who's NOT tired of life as opposed to the main squad, many of whom really are, but I don't think the way they approached it here made sense. Partly because adding her to the canon as the oldest was so stupid and bad to begin with. Also if they wanted to explore an immortal wanting to keep their immortality... make it Nicky and Joe? Like, when confronted with the Magic Immortality Cure Stabby, have Booker be like YEEHAW, have Nile and Andy grapple with it, and have Joe and Nicky say actually no thanks we want to keep going? Wouldn't that have been interesting??? Idk man, they could've gone so many ways with this, but I am not a fan of what they went with.

Uma Thurman is cool though, not gonna lie.

Anyway I guess that's most of it for now! There were individual moments I liked, the acting was excellent across the board, and I was so happy to see my blorbos again. But they retconned WAY TOO MUCH of the lore that made the first movie so interesting and impactful, and there's just no getting around the fact that THIS MOVIE WAS NOT FINISHED. It wasn't even sequel bait, it was an unfinished movie. That's such a shitty move, especially after such a long wait, and I'm very pissed off about it.

I doubt I'll watch this movie again, but I hope that at least the first one will remain untarnished in my heart and mind even with all this clownery 💔

[mefirstlastandalways]

Anyway the issue with 2o2g is that neither Nile nor Andy is the protagonist anymore, the people experiencing character arcs are Quynh and maybe booker, maybe tuah, maybe Joe, maybe Nicky, but they didn't commit to any of those so the whole movie reads kind of aimless because the script doesn't know who to focus on

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the old guard 2 out of context

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when people use “you messed with the wrong fandom” as a threat

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i was so sad, i drew a little bat so i wouldn’t be sad. and now i am no longer sad.

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Scientist bakes sourdough bread with yeast derived from 4500 year old Egyptian pottery

i'm losing my mind @ this thread......historie......

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drink water

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The haunting ancient Celtic carnyx being played for an audience. This is the sound Roman soldiers would have heard their Celtic enemies make.

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how i'm handling my students using AI to write papers:

-don't accuse them on using AI from the get-go and instead ask them to informally define all the huge words that they used in their essay which i know they don't know the meaning of

-ask to see their original file where they "wrote" the essay. go to version history to see if it was just copy and pasted and then just edited a bit. i keep an eye out for the shit like "certainly! here's an essay about...."

-if they own up to it, they can re-do the assignment for a higher grade even if there will be an automatic penalty. if they don't, i process it like plagiarism and get my supervisor involved.

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[mefirstlastandalways]

Jaskier is immune to siren songs—not because he’s enchanted or anything mystical like that.

It’s simply because he’s too good a musician. He can immediately tell when the sirens are off-pitch, and frankly, it's impossible to be seduced by a song that butchers the melody.

Honestly, who falls under a spell when the harmony's a mess?

[mefirstlastandalways]

what the fuck