meg-a-million-whats
meg-a-million-whats
#goodshit
6K posts
Transitioning into Dreamwidth starting 12/18/2018. lyrithim on AO3, Dreamwidth, and Pillowfort. Also have a writing/fanfic blog @lyrithim. She/her, older than 18. Fandom blog.
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meg-a-million-whats · 1 year ago
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Blimey.
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meg-a-million-whats · 1 year ago
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behold the ice feast, gov'na
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meg-a-million-whats · 2 years ago
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(おじゃま攻撃かと思いきや | キュルZ@5巻7/27 さんのマンガ | ツイコミ(仮)から)
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meg-a-million-whats · 2 years ago
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That first day back to school is always a doozy, huh?
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meg-a-million-whats · 2 years ago
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you guys wanna go to basrar’s?
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meg-a-million-whats · 2 years ago
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[ColinDeli] For Old Times' Sake
Summary: After the end of the Ravening War, Colin and Deli journey briefly together to the Meatlands and do not sleep together. Pairing: Deli/Colin Word Count: 1,304 Rating: M AO3 Link
Dawn was beautiful rising from these frozen shores. Colin had forgotten. Or maybe he never looked closely enough when he had the chance. For a second, watching the folds of frail golden light sweep over the tundra, Colin could almost forgive Deli for everything he had done—could almost forgive himself.
“Up ahead,” Deli said beside him. Past the fork in the road, almost obscured by mist, there was a small thatched hut in the crevice between two great mountains.
Colin was a little surprised. There? That was Deli’s safehouse?
“Yes,” Deli replied. Then, correcting himself, he said, “Here was where I spent my boyhood.”
They were a full day’s ride away from the closest village. Years ago, the Chieftess had told Colin how she had raised Deli outside of her clan, forsaken by her kinsmen because of a fatherless pregnancy. Here the Chieftess had nursed Deli. Then, when Deli could walk, she returned to her clan and sought revenge on the men who had usurped her and her son’s birthright.
It had only been a week since the last treaty was signed and the war had ended—the war that they were now calling the Ravening War. To the victors fell the spoils; among the victors were the spoils divided. Men who had never before dreamt of riches were transformed by the sudden flood of titles and lands from Ceresian tributes. These men eyed those in the rungs above, where among others Deli stood.
Deli’s absence in the final battle of the war was noted. His mixed parentage was reexamined among the Meatland troops. Basha was loathed to let go his best advisor, his kingmaker. But Basha’s reign had been brief, despite his military victories, and therefore fragile. Deli told Colin that he did not want to force Basha’s hand, but Colin knew that Deli was tired of fighting.
Colin was not. He could no more forget Raphaniel’s last screams and those teeth, those damn teeth of the Fellowship’s god, than he could sheath his sword. Since leaving Saprophus, Colin had been seized with a restlessness he had never before experienced. At the center of the restlessness was a terrible and intoxicating thing: a direction. All his life he had run away from this or that, drifted away, refused to engage, acted in the negative. For revenge, he now became clear-eyed. His life’s mission would be to hunt down the last of the Fellowship until the end of this land. He held this belief without embarrassment.
A hand on his shoulder. Deli’s. “Can we rest for a bit?”
Of course, Colin told him.
They set up camp by a river that was frozen over violently: the surface roiled with stilled currents, and huge solid white waves soared against the river banks. But the river itself was suffocated into silence.
Colin went through familiar motions: arranging twigs around dry land, gathering frost for water, raising the soup pot, waiting as Deli dashed together two pop rocks against the tinder. They stoked the fire. It grew warm and comfortable. Colin took off his outer coat, and Deli took off the fur draped over his bare shoulders.
They ate. This would be the last meal they would have together for some time. Colin understood this. He was serene in this fact—that was, until Deli spoke.
“We were here once,” Deli said.
Did they? Colin did not recognize the place.
“The river looks different now,” Deli said, gesturing in front of them. “It had been flowing. It was summer. And we weren’t here, exactly. We were somewhere more upstream or downstream. But we had pitched a tent around by a grand white fish-bone fir. It was steady. It saved us from the storm.”
Colin remembered now. Not the river or the fir tree, but the memory that Deli had been guiding him towards. It had been so early after they had left Comida. Deli, much younger, exuberant, had won the approval of his kinsmen and been named emissary on behalf of the clan that morning. It was all that was on Deli’s mind and in the glint of Deli’s eye.
In the evening, they had laid next to each other as usual. There had been no fire in the tent; their only source of heat was each other. The storm had lapped against the tent flap. Icy raindrops had sought to penetrate their thin canvas of a roof. They would have died of the cold if either the canvas or the entrance had given in. But little of this mattered to them. Colin listened to Deli talk about a beautiful future and a beautiful world for his people. There would be happiness, Deli said, and Colin had indeed felt great happiness. Then Deli had stopped, looked over at Colin, and kissed him.
“You were the one who told me that I should save myself for someone I loved,” Deli said now. They had proceeded no further that evening.
“I remember,” Colin told him.
“But I do love you.”
The confession stunned him, but it did not surprise him. It was a plunge into a cold pool—the body adjusted to the shock in a heartbeat. Love, love, love. Colin loved him. Of course Colin loved him. How long had Colin loved him. But they were past the time—the biological age? the historical epoch?—when a passionate confession could remedy all ills. How much time had they had to reexamine themselves and each other? How much time had they to say those words of love? Colin wanted to tell Deli that he loved him. The Colin of all of their travels together threatened to burst from Colin’s throat: I do love you too, I do. But Colin held himself back. It was restraint with the slightest edge of malice. Colin knew that he could hurt Deli then. Was it cruel of Colin to still want that power over Deli? He almost wanted to hurt him. Was there a part of him that thought the act of refusal ensured he would stay that much longer in Deli’s mind? Did he think Deli saw Karna when Deli looked at him? Was this fear that he felt fear for himself or fear for Deli?
Instead, he kissed Deli for the second time in his life. Deli kissed him back. What a lovely sight they now made: two figures intertwined together by a fire, the clansman’s bare back against the light and the cold, the man beneath him willing and pliant. How deeply they kissed each other then, as though they would never let each other go.
It would live forever in Colin: this kiss, this love of his, Deli, the young prince, his youth, Colin’s youth. Colin knew it. But everything became a memory as soon as they begun; Colin anticipated the end as soon as they started. Already he was living in the future, looking back curiously, the present in retrospective. He felt desire, he thought. He felt Deli’s desire too. Deli was trembling, was grasping at him, holding onto him, pulling him in by the collar in one moment, pushing Colin into the frozen ground in the next, clashing teeth, nipping at his lips, digging into his skin, forcing Colin to take shape as a physical entity. But Colin only held Deli in an embrace.
And Deli finally gave up on Colin. Deli’s kisses slowed, grew gentle. Then Deli broke away. Colin did not protest. Deli lifted his face to the sky and let go of Colin.
-
Later, on the path back to the harbor, Colin could not be sure, but he thought he spotted it near the horizon: that great fish-bone fir by the river, whose spine stretched into the heavens, next to which he and Deli had set up shelter together so many years ago.
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meg-a-million-whats · 2 years ago
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meg-a-million-whats · 2 years ago
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dimension 20: a starstruck odyssey doodles of some of my faves bc i've been absolutely inhaling the show over the past week or so! love these guys so much even though i'm a literal year late to this season haha
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meg-a-million-whats · 2 years ago
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somebody asked me to post this on tumblr and i promptly forgot to do so but here it is. currently thanking god that zac & aabria have similar face shapes.
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meg-a-million-whats · 2 years ago
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“she’s proven herself in a lot of ways.”
“yeah. so have i.”
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meg-a-million-whats · 2 years ago
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can’t wait for their relationship to be bit more fucked up
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meg-a-million-whats · 2 years ago
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guiding hands
— inspired by the adventure party’s “of course i have the cheese rind knife” and everything that came after. something something like the two skalds haunting the warlord,,,
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meg-a-million-whats · 2 years ago
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Elody's reaction to Gerard's energy (and Murph's dice) makes 100% sense but specifically because she probably thought they had more time. She had seen her husband's body in the previous world and now here comes this chump with all the memories and lack of social graces as the man who should have been dead, but also not quite the same. It's honestly such a complicated emotional situation to be in, so I personally am a little more forgiving than Emily or Ally was last episode. It's also easier to be mad at someone too when you have such a confusing coil of emotions.
But even if Elody was haughty she was probably thinking they would have weeks, if not months, ahead of them for the two of them to work things out, for Gerard to make his apologies, for her to not be a sucker for forgiving someone so quickly. Long stretches of time -- they are in a castle again, there is campaigning ahead but she has a mace and he has a sword now and in a sense there could be a new equilibrium. One could almost be forgiven for romanticizing the possibilities. All gone now. In probably half a day after his apology he came back and told her to abandon the only people who were there for her after he and all of the people in her life were killed, and hurried away before supper was served. She had not let herself be convinced that he had changed, and even though she was glad that she didn't, surely she had a moment of doubt? (And hope?) And she probably did not realize how large that hope had grown in her heart, from the moment that she heard he was alive until the moment she saw him again. And seeing him flee from the castle again crushed all that hope, and that was why she was crying from the parapet.
Anyway, BLM is evil for letting Gerard see that on a fucking Nat 20.
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meg-a-million-whats · 3 years ago
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"ao3 should have an algorithm" ao3 should continue only giving me exactly what I ask for which happens because I know how to use the search, sort, and filter functions
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meg-a-million-whats · 3 years ago
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The final two books (of six) Traditional Chinese TGCF copies that I had ordered from Taiwan's 博客來 recently, published by Pin Sin. I believe the illustrator is named 日出的小太陽 (The Little Risen Sun). This is basically the only merch I've ever really purchased in my life and it's soooo nice.
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meg-a-million-whats · 4 years ago
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coping with the finale by recreating the murders of the roy siblings
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meg-a-million-whats · 4 years ago
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society if supernatural was about kevin, claire, and jack (full 1 / 2 / 3) [ID in next reblog]
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