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A Costar Collection

This week, I chose songs I really like that I felt directly related to my Costar notifications. Bellow each song is a description as to why I feel the songs so closely relate.

1. What are you trying to escape from?

This song means a lot to me. This summer, my best friend and I packed up all our things and spontaneously drive to Milwaukee to visit our best friends who were gone all summer. We were both in kind of a rut, and this decision led us to some of our best memories together. We played this song many times on the drive up, and I feel it relates to the Costar message of escape.

2. Try not to control other people today.

This song reminds me of an important lesson I had to learn in the past. Without getting too personal, I had to learn the hard way how impossible it is to control and to change people. The ending chorus, “It’s too late to change your mind”, is a consistent reminder to follow my gut and to stay true to myself. The lessons I’ve learned have helped me become who I am today.

3. Who do you think you are?

This song takes the Costar more literally. It’s a sad tune-- I heard to for the first time on a plane coming back to school from home last year. It makes you question your relationships in a harmful way (yikes) and over evaluate everything! 

4. You can be daring without being careless.

This song is careless in every sense of the word. It feels very emotionally numb. One of my best friends Justin and I used to play this song very often whenever we wanted to repress our feelings and numb our emotions (unhealthy!). It does remind me of good times though, so it’s more nostalgic to me. 

5. Try not to have glamorous delusions today.

“Glamorous delusions”. This song paints the concept of love very vividly. It uses color descriptions to help us visualize the idea of romance in a different way. Of course, it reminds us all very much of the honeymoon stage of a relationship-- everything is seen through rose colored glasses. This song does this subtly, but masterfully. 

6. Your talents may feel like they are trapped in a block of ice today.

This song is quite literally about feeling trapped in a box, and lacking motivation and creativity to accomplish your goals. Everyone has been there-- that feeling of not being enough. This song makes the concept relatable, and reminds us that even those whose talent we envy go through the same things as we do. 

7. Have you ever thought about whether you talk too much?

This song is about people who talk a lot of shit! I’ve had a couple issues in the past with drama, and had to face the fact that not everyone is going to like me, no matter what I do. Coming from an insecure place in the past, this song has helped me realize that as long as you’re confident and sure of yourself, the extra noise and voices from other people really don’t matter. 

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A Costar Collection

This week for my Costar Collection, I searched for inspirational quotes that I felt related to and delved deeper into the small costar notifications I received. It was fun to spend some time relaxing and processing, while also inspiring myself. 

You can be daring without being careless

Buy something new to wear

Life has practical requirements. Are you aware of them? 

We’re all gonna die someday, so take a chance today.

Arrogance will not help you grow.

Experiment with tenderness.

Is there time for everything you want to do today?

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A Costar Collection

Week one of my collection. I am collecting Co-Star notifications, an app which sends daily messages and reminders that are supposed to relate to your horoscope. I’m not a huge astrology person, but I’ve noticed that these notifications are something I find myself looking at every single day, mostly due to the humor in them. It’s kinda fun to receive a push message everyday roasting you for no reason sometimes. To spice things up, I’ve decided to make every singe message into a constellation in the sky to record the messages I’ve received throughout the month. Starting at the top left, these messages are:

You have gifts that you’re not using.

Correct all your time-wasting at your job.

Co-dependence is a temporary fix.

It’s possible to make human relations feel good again.

Your biggest challenge is to avoid becoming dead inside.

Ask for help.

Being unreliable is very unfriendly.

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Day 30

Costar message of the day: Write them a note.

Happy gameday! Kinda unfortunate that my last blog post is going to be all about binge drinking, but alas. Woke up this morning to a dark dark rainy sky and loud music playing downstairs. I crawled out of my cave to be greeted by all of my roommates making jungle juice in a giant tub that’s supposed to be for shoe storage. We all got ready for the day, and I cut my $50 Minnesota sweatshirt into a crop top for some reason. We all started drinking, and then walked over to a giant house party in como. It was raining, but it wasn’t unbearable and I didn’t really notice it too much. I bumped into a couple of friends, and we all walked over to frat row. I hung out at my friends’ frat and then went over to Chip’s old one to go meet him. We hung out there for a bit and then all walked back to the house. Chip and my roommates boyfriend drunkenly decided that NOW was the perfect time to build my entire dresser. It was not. They put together one piece and then gave up. After, we went to Blarney’s and then back to the frat to play beer pong. I’m usually horrible, but I was really in the zone today and kinda crushed it. We all walked home and spent the rest of the night hanging out before crashing on the earlier side. 

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Day 29

Costar message of the day: Create the movement you want

I consumed 4 cups of espresso and a breakfast burrito this morning. I then went into Carlson to have a meeting with my boss, and then bused home. I then called my mom for a couple of hours, because we finally had time to catch up on everything that’s been going on. She cheered me up quite a bit, which I’m grateful for. After the call, my roommate and I watched season three of Big Mouth and worked on homework. I then consumed a mango jalapeno sausage. All of us were kind of in a funk for some reason, so we ate ice cream that I had leftover from my birthday and cleaned the house to get out of it. I spent the rest of the night finalizing my blog and drinking wine, in conjunction with a couple of episodes of the podcast. My roommates went to a party and I stayed behind to finish my work. I showered, drank some soup, and then crawled into bed to have an early night. Not a super exciting day, but I know tomorrow will be action packed so it’s no biggie.

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Day 28

Costar message of the day: Don’t bring previous arguments into current ones

Today was set up to be very relaxed, but for some reason it wasn’t. I’m gonna try my very best not to sound dramatic in this blog post lmao. I went to my first class and everything was going very swimmingly. I spent my lunch break at Mim’s finishing my sketches and drinking a hot latte while I watched The Office. When I’d finished everything, I went back to McNeal and went to my second class. We had a critique of our sketches, and then I got back on the bus. Once I got on the bus, I got kind of faint, which is strange because I don’t get them very often and nothing really sparked it. I made it home alright and took a nap so I’d feel better. My roommate woke me up and forced me to consume a caffeine pill. Later on, my best guy friends came over and we played some drinking games and all hung out. I made the mistake of not consuming any dinner and consumed a little too much wine. They all went to Sally’s and I decided to hang back. It made me feel better to be able to hang out alone and unwind. After that, I crashed.

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Day 27

Costar message of the day: Run toward your fear

Slept through my first class this morning! Whoops! My roommate and I both slept through our alarms and woke up in a panic at 9 am. Unfortunately for her though, she had an exam this morning! I woke up to her freaking out and racing out of the house to see if she could still take it. I, on the other hand, was only missing a lecture, so I immediately gave up on making it in time. It made my day honestly a lot better, because I was able to shower and do homework for the morning. It rained again today, and I was feeling pretty cozy. A lot of coffee was consumed today, while I worked on designs for my screen printing class. I decided to have manatees be the subject, and had a lot of fun coming up with designs. Because it was raining so hard, my roommate was kind enough to drive me to my class so I didn’t have to walk to the bus. I went to my class for a three hour long critique, which was honestly kinda brutal. I then went home and made a big bowl of soup and did the rest of my homework, which included a lot of sketches. I also spent like 4 hours cleaning the entire house and my room and it helped clear my headspace. After that, I went to sleep!

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Day 26

Costar message of the day: Break the rules with someone today.

 Ayy, it’s my birthday! Don’t know how it’s physically possible to only be turning 20 my junior year of college, but here we are. It rained all damn day. I don’t really like telling people it’s my birthday because I always feel weird about it, and my roommates all found out about it all at once and showered me in love lmfaoo. I received a lot of really nice texts in the morning, which made me pretty happy. I put on my rain jacket and headed to the bus and then eventually to class. Today was extremely chill (class schedule wise). I didn’t have a second class scheduled in St Paul, so I was able to go home at one. I ate a bowl of instant teriyaki noodles, and watched the office before diving 5 minutes to printing services in como for my second class. We listened to someone talk about the process of printing things for an hour, and then I drove back in the pouring rain. I drank a glass of wine to celebrate the day and then Chip picked me up to take me out to dinner. We went to a sushi place in uptown and consumed a large plateful of raw fish in addition to some miso soup. We drove back to my place after I was informed that a cookie had been dropped off for me! My parents sent me a happy birthday insomnia cookie cake, which was adorable. We took it back to his place and ate it while we watched That 70’s Show. I went home and finished my bibliography for this class, and then went to bed! Pretty happy birthday!

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Day 25

Costar message of the day: 

I’m getting to the point in this blog where I’m a little tired of typing out my exact morning routine-- basically, everyday I get up, get ready, and eat a bagel. I’ll save my plethora of readers from all the boredom of having to read that everyday. I went to my first lecture and turned in my poster for it. I then bussed back to stadium village and Chip and I got some Chipotle. After he went back to class, I hung out at Coffman and finished my assignments. I consumed a cold brew from Starbucks with coconut milk. I took the bus back over for a critique of our first screen printing project. It was super hot out, and the bus ended up breaking down so I was almost late. In addition, my roommate was supposed to take an exam and her computer randomly stopped working, so I met her to give her mine. Critique went pretty well, I spent most of the time staring at mine in awe of the fact that I hadn’t ruined it the night before. I then came home and made some ground chicken and rice for dinner. I had a cup of tea before bed, and spent the night hanging out with the gals! 

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Day 24

Costar message of the day: It’s possible to make human relations feel good again.

Today was a day of immense procrastination. I didn’t finish my screen printing project before the week was over, and it was due the next day. I spent the whole day putting off driving to St Paul because I had an odd feeling that something was going to go wrong. I consumed two pieces of frozen pizza, and spent the day doing all my other less important homework. I finally worked up the courage to go at around 9pm, and drove over in the rain. I got inside, got all my supplies and ink ready, and then faced the shocking realization that I had printed my entire stencil backwards and it was too late to redo the entire thing. I sat in silence for ten minutes, trying to figure out if I should fight for it or if I should just drop out of college. I decided to try to make it work, and then figured out a super elaborate way to print it correctly. It took a couple of hours and I got a lot of ink on my face, but I was finally able to pull it off. I left sweating, and then came home and consumed a bowl of pumpkin spice cheerios before going to bed. What a crazy day!

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Day 23

Costar message of the day: Find something new with someone today. 

Crawled out of the hotel room this morning and walked down to the lobby to get breakfast. I was surprised to find that my friend from one of my graphic design classes was working at the front desk! How crazy! I consumed some scrambled eggs and a Chobani greek yogurt, and a lot of water. We all ate outside on the patio in the sun and talked about the wedding. We then packed up all our stuff, and drove to Target. This was because, unfortunately, a wedding guest had visited his condo the day before and clogged his toilet, and left it in a panic. So we drove to the super Target to get a plunger. We then hung out in the hotel lobby for a couple more hours and then headed back to get ready and watched a few episodes of That 70’s show. We then Ubered to Fogo de Chao to consume lots and lots and lots of food. It’s very hard for me to eat huge quantities of food in small amounts of time, but I did my very best to keep up with all the meat being thrown at me. I wish I could list all the foods I consumed, but it was honestly a blurr. The craziest part of the night happened after, when we were about to go home and saw someone get SHOT on the street. A group of men in a car pulled up to the other side of the street and got in an altercation with someone, and the man ended up dying. It was kind of traumatic, and we were forced to run home as we heard the ambulances coming. We went to bed pretty shortly after getting home.

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Day 22

Costar message of the day: Try not to be overly critical if you can’t propose an alternative. 

It’s the wedding day! I woke up fairly early and had around 3 cups of espresso (geez). I then drove the old rusted Land Rover over to the Minneapolis farmers market flower shop to help arrange bouquets for two hours. I then drove home to quickly eat a bowl of cheerios and get ready. I showered and did my makeup, and then borrowed a pair of heels and got dressed. I then drove over to the condo and then walked over to the Aria, where I hung out with his mom for a couple hours while the wedding party took photos. I attended the ceremony and hung out with his cousin who’s hilarious and was ushering for the night. After, I consumed two vodka sodas from the bar and a couple of pesto meatballs. I then sat down for dinner, where I consumed a whiskey ginger and steak with mashed potatoes (delicious!). The rest of the night was filled with much much more consumption of alcohol and dancing. The whole group then walked over to the hotel we were staying at, which was a couple of blocks down. I then crashed!

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Day 21

Costar message of the day: Have you ever thought about whether you talk too much?

Hit the snooze button on my alarms for around an hour this morning-- perhaps I was too optimistic about how early I’d be able to get up. Finally dragged myself out of bed and did my typical coffee/getting ready stuff. I walked to the bus stop and went to class (exciting stuff). At lunch I consumed a subway sandwich, which contained ham, cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and onion. Kinda regret the onion part. I then went to the printing lab, then to my last class, and Ubered home because I was in a hurry. I got changed super quickly and then headed over to Northloop for the rehearsal dinner for the wedding tomorrow. I was running late so I consumed a $15 uber ride because it was rush hour, and got there a little late too. We speedwalked to Pizza Luce, where I mixed and mingled with a lot of family members and consumed two whiskey sours and some pizza. This was then followed by a Surley beer and a short walk home. After, I watched a movie and fell asleep because of my early morning!

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Day 20

Costar message of the day: Your talents may feel like they are trapped in a block of ice today.

I was granted a wonderful gift gift this morning! I woke up exhausted, only to check my email and find that my class had been cancelled! So… I went back to sleep! I woke up a couple hours later and made some coffee and worked on my poster for class and made sure I was ready for my last layer in screen printing. I ate a piece of cheese and walked to the bus. I got to class on the earlier side to prep my screen and then spent the whole class in a slight panic because the printing lab took 30 minutes to print out a blank sheet of transparent paper. (see image below, which captures my raw emotion at the very moment. It’s art.) I then moseyed on back to east bank and took a detour to Dinkytown Target on my way home to purchase some milk and halloween cookies to make for fun! Put them in the oven and got to work on finishing my assignment that was due at midnight. I finished my assignment and decided to drive some of the cookies I’d made over to Chip because he has a stressful exam week. I went over there at around midnight and then went home and went to bed!

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Day 19

Costar message of the day: Try not to have glamorous delusions today.

Very busy day! Got up on the earlier side so I’d have extra time to get ready today, and was feeling good because I’d cleaned my room the night before. However, my roommate asked to borrow a shirt, and ended up wearing exactly what I had planned on wearing the night before. I was able to figure it out, but was a little bit stressed! I quickly ate a bagel and headed to class. I sat outside on the lawn in the sun a little bit before class, and after class consumed a coffee from Mim’s cafe and did a bit of homework. I went to my second class, where we critiqued our business cards. After I got home, we realized that our hamster had broken her leg after it got caught in the cage :( We took her to the vet, and they said she was going to be just fine as long as we took the hamster wheel out of her cage. I made some salmon for dinner and spent the rest of the night doing homework. 

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Day 18

Costar message of the day: You can be daring without being careless.

Another typical Monday! Got ready and then had cream of wheat for breakfast. I headed to class and consumed a Kind bar in my lecture. After, I headed to east bank to finish some homework. I spent today setting up my portfolio to procrastinate my work, and didn’t know that the email I connected to it was my dad’s instead of mine. Turns out, Chip ended up emailing my dad instead of me. The message was harmless, so that’s a relief. I ate a bagel from Erberts and Gerberts, which I scarfed down. I went to my screen printing class and spent the next three hours developing my project further. I left a little bit stressed about it, but enjoyed an episode of the podcast on my bus ride home and was feeling good. I spent the rest of the night hanging out with my roommates in the living room, and we watched true crime YouTube videos. I consumed some pasta that I made with my roommate with sausage and alfredo sauce. I had a glass of wine and did homework, and then headed to bed.

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Day 17

Costar message of the day: Who do you think you are? (lmfao)

This morning I got up and realized that there was practically no food for me to consume! Whoops! I haven’t been grocery shopping in around three weeks, and I had a free morning so I figured today would be the perfect day to do it. Chip picked me up and we drove to Cub Foods because it’s relatively cheap, they have a lot of produce, and they’re the only place that sells the french toast bagels that I like so much. Last time I went shopping I made a serious effort to only buy healthy foods, because I feel a lot better during the day when I make an effort to eat nutritious foods. However, I made the mistake of not really shopping practically-- It’s kind of difficult to make a quick lunch before school when the only foods you have are spinach and raw mushrooms with no dressing. This time, I made the effort to think of things that were healthy but I could also make quickly for breakfast. It would take a long time to list all of the things I bought at Cub here, but in short I ended up purchasing things I could make the day before and take to go-- induing turkey burgers, greek yogurt cups, popcorn, Kind bars, sandwich making supplies, and much more. My total came out to around $140, so I think it’s safe to say I won’t be needing food for a while. 

Once I was dropped off at home, I spent around three hours editing a powerpoint presentation for my boss. My roommate woke up at around 1 o’clock from her hangover nap and remembered that she said she’d take me to the mall of america today to buy a dress, so her and my other roommate got ready and headed out. Chip’s sister is getting married on Friday, and I’ve spent far too long procrastinating getting a dress. When we arrived the first place we walked into was Macy’s… and to our horror we remembered that it was high school homecoming season. The store was packed with 16 year olds buying sequined and poofy dresses for the big day! No judgement on my part, but that kind of dress isn’t really my style, so we realized quickly that Macy’s isn’t where I was going to find it. We eventually found ourselves at a store called Alter’d State, which I think is a religious store because they were blasting Christian music the entire time. However… they do have a TON of cute dresses and I found one right away that I loved a lot! So I got it! We then consumed Shake Shack because we were worn out and hungry. I got a cheeseburger with cheese fries, which really hit the spot after only having coffee that day. Later on in the night, my best friend and I decided to go to our friend’s party that she was throwing. We went there for a while, and I consumed a couple jello shots and a beer. We then decided to walk over to our friends’ frat, and hung out there for a while just talking and catching up with everyone.