megggreg

[megggreg]

This picture i took of hector while i was drunk last night looks like a damn renaissance painting

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when you find an academic source that’s perfect for your paper but it’s behind a pay wall

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me:

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red pandas just stand up when they encounter things they dont understand & i love them for it

[megggreg]

me: i love you but please, please do not step on my keyboard. go a foot out of your way and go around

my lovable yet ungrateful cat, a troublegirl and a fiend: you could sooner divert a river from its course than deny my nature 

[megggreg]

I love huskys for the next reasons

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I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

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The new meme was just to call everything that was remotely circular “loops”. Like, a cat curled up in a circle the way cats do? Cat loop.

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this close to putting hot sauce on my toes

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Timmy was always a bit different from the other ostriches

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“You. Come. Here.”

“M-Me?”

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“You have joined the pantheon of famous dudes with legendary locks.”

[megggreg]

Okay, I have a life hack for you.

Last week, I got attacked by the most painful and persistent hiccups of my life at work. My co-worker heard me hiccuping and said, absently, “Got the hiccups?” and I said miserably, “Yeah.” And she said, “Prove it.”

And I glared at her, because why the fuck should I prove anything to her? And I waited for the next hiccup, which would prove that she was a dick and that I was, indeed, suffering from hiccups. And… that hiccup never came. And she smirked and said, “My daughter calls me whenever she has hiccups and when I ask her to prove it, she never can.”

And that was weird. But later that night, I got hiccups AGAIN, so I said to my boyfriend, “I HAVE HICCUPS.” and he said “Yeah, you do.” And I said, “No, ask me to prove it.” And he gave me a look like I was a crazy person, and I hiccuped again and insisted he ask me to prove it and he did and BAM. I couldn’t do it!

And a few days LATER, I got the hiccups WHILE DRIVING ALONE, and I said, out loud, “DUDE, I have the hiccups.” And then, in another voice, “PROVE IT.” And bam. Couldn’t do it.

The moral of the story? Apparently hiccups are little shits who refuse to perform on command. 

There you go. Hiccup cure. I can’t promise it’ll work for everyone, but so far, it’s worked for me like six times.

You’re welcome.

[megggreg]

when i can feel myself being really annoying but i can’t stop