meggiejolly

[meggiejolly]

this fits too good

[meggiejolly]

speaking of peeing the bed it's been long enough that i can tell this story publicly. in high school i went to a party at some house with no adults, as you sometimes would, and at the end of the night like 10 people all clonked out together in the same bed. fully clothed, one of those teenage moments where you're like wow heehee how rule-breaking, because sure a lot of our parents wouldn't like us sleeping in a bed with a bunch of other teenagers and no adult supervision blah blah. fond memories. anyway.

i'm an extremely light sleeper, so i barely slept, and sometime around 6 am, i woke up to a girl totally panicking, very quietly, because she peed the bed in her sleep. and listen. this wasn't a group of mean kids by any measure. but there's no level of kindness or understanding in the world that will make peeing the bed when you're 17, surrounded by people you only sort of know, a gentle blow.

so i sat up and she was like "oh my god" and I signaled at her to be absolutely silent and I said I'd be right back. And I crawled over everyone and out of the bed like a stupid cat.

and the thing is, by senior year i wasn't getting bullied much anymore. i was generally pretty well liked by my peers, but, if this makes sense, people still didn't always expect very much from me. i was still figuring out how to mask (autistic) and i still often said or did something that made everyone remember i'm weird and they'd just be like "well. that's story for you. i guess." and for the most part i'd become pretty secure in that.

so what i'm saying is i had nothing to lose and this girl had everything to lose.

so i went downstairs and i made tomato soup. and by "made" i mean i put a whole can of tomato soup in a too-small mug and microwaved it until it was lukewarm so as to be convincingly "made" but not so hot to burn someone.

and then i walked back upstairs, and no longer like a cat, i clumsily "attempted" to crawl back into bed, loudly lost my balance, and spilled tomato soup all over the girl and her lap and several other people's laps and heads and the mattress.

everyone woke up confused and anguished and i was like, "oh my god, I'm so sorry. I just got really hungry and it's all i could find."

and everyone immediately accepted with absolutely no further questions that I would go downstairs, make tomato soup at 6 am,and bring it back to bed. everyone just begrudgingly climbed onto the floor and went back to sleep while I put the bedding right into the laundry.

i don't even know this girl's name. i only remembered this story recently because i'm in my hometown for a few months and recently a high school acquaintance said, "hey. do you remember spilling soup on everyone after prom? why did you do that?" and for a moment i genuinely did not and i stared at them completely dumbfounded while the memory loaded and then i started laughing too hard to answer for 2 minutes.

the best part is i can tell this story, and even if it reaches the people who were there, none of them will know which one of them peed the bed. thanks to tomato soup.

[meggiejolly]

Grad im Ikea überhört:

Frau 1: "Oh schau, die Regenbogentaschen. Ich nehm eine mit."

Frau 2, vehemt: "Bring mir auch eine mit, schon aus Prinzip. Dann können wir, was hat Merz gesagt, beim Zirkus auftreten? Arschloch!"

[meggiejolly]

he was openly bisexual. he didn't know that but he was

[meggiejolly]

Reading smut in public with a straight face is nothing.

Reading/listening to emotional moments - beautiful, devastating and everything in between- is so much harder. 😭

(At least for me)

[meggiejolly]

I’m a big merther guy now 😔

[meggiejolly]

does this on your dash

[meggiejolly]

ok typically what i do is i wear Not Home clothes when i'm out of the house and Home clothes when i'm in the house which also double as Asleep clothes but apparently nobody else on earth does this and that's super weird. please help me gather data points/settle an argument

not to panhandle for reblogs but this poll won't work unless someone reblogs it 🥺🥺🥺

[meggiejolly]

if only dog had a bigger bed available, or perhaps two. maybe even a human bed. alas, he must make do with a measly little pillow.

[meggiejolly]

I am a chronic turn signaller. People will be like “there’s no cars around.” Wrong, I’m

1. letting pedestrians know.

2. I’m doing this in case I missed a car or person somewhere, or

2b. I’m gonna be stuck at this intersection til a car or person shows up

3. It makes it a habit

[meggiejolly]

i feel like we always talk about buddie’s first meeting from buck’s viewpoint, which is fair enough bc that’s how we experience it when we’re watching it. but eddie’s is low-key just as insane. imagine you start a new job in a very intense environment, your boss and coworkers are so excited to have you there and you settle in super quickly because they’re making it so easy. but then there’s this big guy who’s angry about you existing, either trying to impress or intimidate you (you’re not really sure which it is), you try and talk it out but he’s not having it, and you think ah well can’t win ‘em all. then he volunteers to extract a grenade from some guy’s leg with you, a super high pressure situation, and he’s still trying to make it a dick-measuring contest. you don’t care. but he does well and is very helpful so you extend an olive branch, “you can have my back any day.” and this fucker goes absolutely starry-eyed, tries to regain his composure, fails, your boss is watching the whole exchange, then an ambulance blows up. by the end of your shift big guy assumes you made it into the hot firefighter calendar because he thinks you’re that attractive. give it a few months, strangers are assuming you and big guy have a son together. wild.

[meggiejolly]

i worked at a park with a famous cliff people do indeed keep falling off and one day someone said, "why don't you just close off the trail?" and i said, "we can't make people make good decisions. we also can't close the Outside."

[meggiejolly]

I needed a silly sketch with coffeeshop!au for my silly mental health

[meggiejolly]

I think venus flytraps should be intelligent and ambulatory. I think they should get into the cupboards. I think they should purr when you pet them.

[meggiejolly]

sunset curve + being 💕 cute ghosts 💕

[meggiejolly]