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Billy really has that 'I'm definitely an Adult and Know Things' resting face mastered here
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**at a Justice League meeting**
Batman: *Meets Shazam for the first time*
Also Batman: *pulls adoption papers out of utility belt*
JL: Batm-
Batman: that is a child
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Dick being an ass is my favourite thing
Commission Info / Kofi (Members get comics a week early)
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Bruce: Now you can live a normal life, fall in love-
Jason: Bitch I'm married already and have a job
Bruce: - and- what?
Jason: I've been married for a while now. My name isn't even Todd anymore, it's Harper
Bruce: ...like Arsenal?
Jason: Yes, like Arsenal. Anyway I have a Q-tech tracker and a panic button on me and I pressed it a while ago
Bruce: What does that mean- oh
Bruce: *turns around*
Oliver:
Bruce:
Oliver:
Bruce: Be reasonable, Oliver
Oliver: No *pulls out his automated arrow turret*
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love to think about dick and jaybin brotherism if it was in the modern era. here’s a scene i’ve been rotating in my head:
*on a road trip for some reason*
dick (18): i’m gonna stop at the 7-11 up here, you want anything?
jason (13): yeah, a pack of marlboros
dick: smoking kills, you know
jason: and those zyns destroy your gums
dick: that’s different, i’m eighteen
jason: still not old enough to buy those things, you’ve got a fake id
dick: so what?
jason: do you think bruce’d be happy to know you buy drugs and alcohol with a fake id?
dick: bruce isn’t the boss of me
jason: he’s the boss of me, and you’re a bad influence. what would he say if i told him there were drugs in your car?
dick: there aren’t drugs in my car
jason, pulling a baggie of weed from his pocket and shoving it in the glove box: there are now
dick: …you’re getting lucky strikes, they’re cheaper
jason: YOUR DAD IS A BILLIONAIRE
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Bruce, extremely sleep deprived: *sorting through JL files* Hey, Alfred- Alfred, who has been watching Bruce stare at Shazam's file for the past fourteen minutes: No. Bruce: I didn't even- Alfred, who has been there to experience every recurrence of Bruce's empty nest syndrome and the subsequent fallouts: No.
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The idea of Jason and Roy both being obliviously in love is great but I raise you just Jason is oblivious in the way of thinking him and Roy are really close friends, for all his romance novels can not save him from himself and Roy is oblivious in the way of him thinking Jason and him have been in a committed relationship for several years
Jason at his two bedroom apartment he shares with Roy (second bedroom is for Lian) and gets a video call from the batfamily group chat.
jason answering: Yeah what’s up I’m eating breakfast
Bruce in a panic: Why did Damian get an invitation to your wedding but I didn’t?! Also when the fuck did you propose to Roy?!
Damian in the back waving: I will be attending and also will be bringing batcow as my plus one.
Jason: you mean Roy and I’s friendship ceremony? You’re invited B i just haven’t mailed yours yet because you weren’t originally invited because you scolded me on patrol last week. Roy said it was important that you be there so I mailed it last night.
Dick popping in the call teary eyed: Littlewing I just got my invitation! I’m so happy that my little brother and my best friend are getting married!
Jason: We are not getting married, Roy just asked if I wanted to have a get together with all of our closest relatives and friends to celebrate us being friends for so long.
Tim who has been sitting there confused the entire time: wait you and Roy are just friends
Jason: Yeah? Why is this so baffling to you people
Cass : you live in the same apartment
Steph: you sleep in the same bed!
Jason:
Jason: It keeps the heating bill down in the winter
Bruce: Youre raising Lian with him?
Jason: Plenty of people have helped you raise us Bruce and you aren’t getting married to them.
Dick: I watched Lian last week so you and Roy could have ‘special alone time’
Jason: Well- Yeah we went out to a new bookstore outside of Gotham. Roy gets grumpy when we don’t get to solo hang out. He’s needy like that.
Duke: Dude..you have to be kidding
Tim frustrated: You and Roy went on a double date with Kon and I last night!
Jason: I thought we were all hanging out! Fuck you guys I’m asking Roy!
Roy popping his head from the kitchen: What are you asking me?
Jason: These idiots say that we have been dating but that’s ridiculous!
Roy: totally ridiculous
Roy: i proposed to you five months ago we are definitely engaged
Jason turning to Roy horrified: You weren’t doing that for the bit…
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“Do you want to make a stop for Batburger?”
[Incoherent concussed Jason noises]
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I absolutely love the Greek justice league members (wonder woman, Aquaman, Shazam) and there's this hilarious head cannon I have for all of them: they f**king hate the Romans for bastardizing Greek religion
Like someone just drops a Roman god name (Jupiter, Neptune, etc) and Diana b*tch slaps them, Arthur kicks the s**t out of them, doesn't matter of they're on their team.
Billy is more chill and just has an eye twitch, at least on the surface. But hearing Batman say the Roman names is 20% the reason he's a chain smoker at eight
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-a slow day at the BHPD office-
Roy: *gets out from the elevator and beelines it to Dick's desk*
Dick: Hey Roy- what are you doing here?
Roy: Sorry, don't really have much time,
Roy: *hands him stack of papers* just sign these and I’ll be on my way
Dick: sure? *takes the papers*
Dick: ...
Dick: Roy, those are divorce papers
*every head in the hearing range snaps up*
Roy: yup, remember Vegas?
Dick: no, which I think was the point the tequila
Roy: crap, hoped at least you'd remember how that happened. Well, apparently we got drunk enough to get married. To piss off Olie and Bruce I'm sure. But I actually need these signed.
Dick: *picking up a pen* yeah? What, finally decided to propose to Jason? *starts signing them*
Roy: yup
Dick: *stops*
Dick: wait, really?
Roy: it was basically accidental mutual proposal, but yes
Dick: *hands him the signed papers* well damn, I don’t know which one of you I should threaten first. He’s my brother, but I’ve known you longer
Roy: preferably, neither
Dick: We’ll see, so who's gonna be the best man?
Roy: *takes the papers* nope, I'm not going down that rabbit hole, thanks for these, bye!
The office: …
Dick: *turns around to see the whole precinct staring at him*
Dick: ...
Dick: well, that's my cue for my lunch break, see you in a bit!
(this is for our Batfam community PromptMonday)
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Dick was picking up Jason from school one day when he saw some suspicious kids laughing at his brother.
Dick: Hey Jason, are those kids picking on you?
Jason: What? No! They're just jerks.
Dick, looking him in the face: You know what, wait in the car a minute.
Jason: Dick, wait!
Dick gets out of the car and approaches the kids from school, smiling politely.
Dick: Hey guys, how are you?
Rich little bastards: Uh, fine, and you?
Dick, still smiling: What's your name?
Rich little bastards: I'm..
Dick, interrupting casually and laughing: Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot, I don't care. The only names that matter in this conversation are mine, my brother's, and my father's.
Dick, losing his smile: If I ever hear or see or even think you picking on my brother again I will use it. Is that clear?
Rich and Scared Little Bastards: Yes sir.
Dick, smiling sweetly: Wonderful! Say hello to your parents from Bruce Wayne.
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damian being held up on bruce’s shoulders (but they’re super serious) for @catacoves aka my dearest admin in crime of @dcforgaza <3 appreciate you for helping host and also donating!
donations are still open until June 21st!!!! get yourself a piece of art for just a $5 donation 0-:
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WARNING: organ trafficking stuff
Sequel to this post
Also inspiration from this fic
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Cap: No! We talked about this. You can only fight the big guys with me when you're 16!
Junior: That's so unfair!
Cap: I know, but it's just to keep you safe! You're too young-
Junior: BULLSHIT. You started being a hero at EIGHT and used to be ALONE, without any adult supervision. And you used to fight all kinds of terror.
Cap: ... It's different, and you know it.
Nightwing from afar having flashbacks of being a vigilante from a very young age and going from anger issues to the always happy, friendly, and helpful persona: omg, the trauma hit us the same way. Trauma buddys!!!
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