meladotjournal

[meladotjournal]

what they don't tell you about getting better at writing is that not only will you have to work on getting better at writing (intuitive, easy to understand) but you will have to work on getting better at all the parts of writing that are not writing (confusing. terrible)

[meladotjournal]

Esther - As The World Caves In

EPISODE TITLE: “... And I Feel Fine” 

“Esther and Aeszura are back, reunited with Kadriel, and everything’s going great. A little too great. The trio is in for a rude awakening.” (stolen from Kari’s lovely creator)

GOD has entered the chat.

Takes place during Supernatural Season 15, Episode 12 -- “Galaxy Brain”. Chuck has decided to destroy every single alternate reality, which of course includes that of our dear original characters. Set sometime after Esther’s resurrection, the previous end to her storyline. Near 2300 words!

/////

Esther’s body was different. For starters, it was almost unbearably warm. And tired. She lay in bed, with a heavy knit blanket over her legs, as instructed. Human, undeniably so — her skin no longer glowing from any fancy brand or curse or possession or enchanted knife, but from her own renewed spirit. Every atom, every fiber regenerated and patched together, burning and restarting her system completely. 

The blade was no more, her tether reintegrated into her system in some dubious amount, but it was enough to feel whole. Technically her physical body was only a few weeks old, but it was a practically perfect replica of what she was before any of this had started -- before the monsters, before the deals, before the day the world split into two. She could stand to lose a few years, they had always joked, but having it actually happen was something entirely alien. And even then, her childhood scars and even her piercings were nowhere to be seen. Her trusty denim jacket was also lost (and it would have been much too warm for her now anyways) so she fiddled with the sleeves on her newest and itchiest sweater, getting used to the feeling of fabric on her skin, something she hadn’t felt even when she did have a body. 

Things were different, but she was home. There was no more running, no more resenting or repressing. There weren’t any more doubts or voices clashing against each other in rough agonized tones, but one unified Esther. Everything wiped clean, baby-smooth pink skin rubbed raw and healed without question by the angel Kadriel. Kari. 

She knew that she would have to find a way to help Kari, not because she was obligated to, but because she wanted to. Her chest ached in an unfamiliar way that she both hated and loved, for the first time in a long time finally feeling. 

It had been a long time, impossibly long, since Esther last walked the Earth. It was even more difficult now to process, and Esther had to stop herself from wondering how far along her corpse was in the decaying process, if there was a corpse at all. Kari didn’t like to talk about it -- about the time she spent alone. A lifetime ago Esther wouldn't have cared so long as she was still functioning as needed. But what used to be a twinge of guilt was nestled in the center of her brain once again, and she held back her burning questions until Kari was comfortable talking about it. Esther didn’t remember much, if anything at all from the time in between. Sometimes, just as she was drifting off to sleep, she could feel flashes of something her mind couldn’t quite wrap around. A clenched fist, cold leather seats, an aluminum briefcase, and then blinding bright light. If she didn’t know any better, she would have assumed she had visited Heaven. 

Esther watched the angel from across the room. Before, she never really understood how it felt to be nothing more than a human surrounded by all-powerful supernatural beings. She never heeded the feeling of static in the air, or the migraines, or the taste of blood in the back of her throat. Putting the supernatural aside, despite her unchanging appearance, Kari was difficult to recognize. She’d give a friendly wave and smile like always, but it never reached her eyes, not anymore. Esther recognized the look, the dullness. If she was different, Kari was immeasurably so, with her hawklike gaze and eerie presence. After thousands of years of unchanging existence, what could possibly have happened that could do this to her friend?

Pulling her own now-glossy eyes away from her much older friend, she squinted at Kari’s borrowed laptop from where she sat on the bed. 

“Put your glasses on, Esther,” Kari chimed, “I didn’t give you brand new eyes just for you to neglect them.” 

“I look like a fucking nerd.” She did.

“Yeah, you do.” Another voice agreed. The lump of blankets piled on the couch trembled before revealing a vibrant mop of hair and a mess of freckles. “Please just, urgh, destroy them before I have to shove them down your throat and choke you with those ugly fucking things. I’m still not convinced that’s even actually you over there -- you’re like a shitty clone or something.”

Esther wasn’t used to having her feelings hurt. Aeszura went back to her phone, mindlessly scrolling through musical.ly -- TikTok. Even their phones are different, Esther complained. I can’t believe they came out with another fucking iPhone, They couldn’t wait until I stopped being dead? 

“I simply wouldn’t allow that to happen. Besides, you know that’s not how it works, Aes,” Kari sighed. 

Esther perked at the mention of what “it” was, but unfortunately the explanation ended before it even began. She knew that Kadriel had worked tirelessly to bring her friends back to life, but it never occurred to her that Aeszura could have helped along the way somehow. 

“Keep laughing,” she squinted in the direction of the red blob, “I noticed that you’re missing some freckles, p-pizzaface.”

“Don’t even pretend like you can see that far. Idiot. Stupid.”

Esther threw her head back into the hard wooden headboard of the bedframe, swearing at the sky before angrily shoving her glasses on. She glared at Aeszura. Different. Everything’s different. Aeszura, despite her best efforts to loudly scream otherwise, had grown. It was hard for Esther to place. Was her hair longer? Were her eyes softer? She was definitely angrier, but Esther couldn’t figure out why. She didn’t like talking about what happened either, but Esther knew enough to piece together that she died sometime before Esther did. Her mouth went dry at the memory, at the sound of her phone endlessly ringing in a black sedan, the final voicemail and the hole in he forehead and the fucking Muppets. Her stomach clenched, a pit of ice chilling her insides. Different. But they were still here. They were still together, somehow beating the odds and breathing the same air at the same time. No monsters, no case, just them, at home (wherever they were), together. Esther locked eyes with Aes and smiled, because despite everything -- despite the pitfalls and the immeasurable traumas divided between the three of them -- she was so damn happy. Before she could open her mouth to speak, her phone went off. 

At the same time, Kari bolted upright, her hands clutching her head. Seconds later, all three of their phones buzzed, a frantic siren and an avalanche of notifications filling the room. Esther’s stomach dropped once again, too scared and too overwhelmed by her annoyingly human brain to process whatever was suddenly being broadcast on the TV. Kadriel?

“Oh, God -- A-angel radio -- going -- argh. Can’t-- can’t hear anything. Um, excuse me,” Kadriel’s face wrinkled, eyebrows furrowed with the effort of sorting out through hundreds (or was it tens?) of panicked inaudible voices. “God -- God?”

“What the FUCK is happening, Wings?”

“Kari-- are you okay? Aes -- your phone --” Esther jumped out of bed, shoes still on, of course. Her heart pounded. Annoying. 

“The sky, oh my God -- Satan -- FUCK. SHIT. The sky, you guys, the fucking sky --” Aeszura clutched her phone, nails tapping angrily on the already-shattered screen. 

“My father is back, it seems --” 

“Portugal, Cuba, London, even fucking Guam --”

“Or he was --”

Esther looked between the two of them, hyperventilating. Stupid. Annoying. For a moment she wishes that she was back to the way she was, comfortably numb. She shook it away as quickly as possible, shaky hands clutching for something that didn’t exist anymore. She places a hand on her chest, scratching at her annoyingly pristine skin, trying to feel for the raised lines of skin that are no longer there.

“What’s going on?”

Kari gave Aeszura a meaningful look. 

“It’s the end of the fucking world.” She spits, shocked and pissed and incredulous. 

“What-- what about God??!” 

“He’s the one that’s ending it,” says Kari, hushed and so, so very tired. “Heaven and Hell are already gone. The empty, I think, too. Earth’s all that’s left.”

“Wh-- what do we do?!”

“I think we need to step outside, Ess.”

/////

There’s nothing to do. 

Esther’s friends both dissolve at the same time, and for one very terrible moment she panics, suddenly alone. Suddenly so much more afraid. And she’s not used to it at all. Stupid, she reminds herself, They’ve gone outside. With shaky legs that refuse to fucking work properly, she bolts through the front door to join them. 

/////

There’s nothing for us to do. It’s happening. After everything, despite everything, the end comes anyway. We thought we could cheat death, and we did, for a time.

Suddenly, I am alone, and for one very terrible moment I panic, suffocating, choking on emptiness. My friends -- my friends are gone. Stupid, I’m being stupid. They’re outside. It’s fine. 

As much work as Kari put into this body I fucking hate it sometimes. It’s just that I hate feeling scared all the time again. I hate when my emotions affect fucking anything, be it the way I think or how my body moves. But at least this isn’t a vessel forged by God, not anymore. That rat-bastard. I don’t want to think about what’s happening, or why, or him. I am a new creation forged by the blood, sweat, and tears of my friends. Still owing them, always, but at least now I’m here to repay them with whatever time we have left.  Maybe the tether isn’t gone. Well, it obviously isn’t, it’s me. Just different. Different. And with my new stupid shaky legs I sprint outside to join them. 

The sky is blue. The air is hot. Everything would be fine if it weren’t for the giant flaming meteors headed straight for us. The sky just keeps getting hotter and God doesn’t care. 

I don’t want to see this. 

Aes has her hands shoved in her pockets. I can’t see her face -- she won’t let me. What is she thinking about? I’m sure if I could then I would see the comet reflected in her eyes. I would see pain. I do see millions of shredded pieces crammed into the one and only Aeszura, the only truly redeemed demon ever to exist. For someone who talks so much, I see all the words crammed in her brain that she never lets slip out. Secrets, so many unthinkable things that I’ll never get to know. I want to punch her. I want her to push me over and laugh and I want to sing stupid songs and give her stupid gifts and call her mean things like we always did. There’s still people we have to piss off, and things we need to talk about when she’s ready to, and places to vandalize and funny tulpas to invent and harass people with. 

I still owe her my soul. I hope she knows she has it. Always has. Whatever kind of soul she’s got buried under there, ours are mates. I can see them going down to a shitty bar and downing as much booze as they can steal, going on roadtrips and doing crimes and running away from the soul-Feds. If the world wasn’t ending we’d have made it remember us. Can’t really raise hell when it doesn’t exist anymore. I hope that idea gives her some sort of peace, knowing she can’t be tortured anymore. She was never evil, never deserved the shit she got stuck with. And now, good or bad, kind or cruel, demon or angel, we’re all going to the same place. 

Kari looks so tired. Her shoulders slump now, and she’s somehow much more gray, much more guarded. I want to make it okay. I want to apologize for everything. I want to go back to the gardens and I want to hold her hand and I want to spill drinks and complain. I want to teach her about toothpaste and I want her to tell me about the bible, like my parents used to when I was a kid. I want her to place a glowing hand over my face and make it feel okay. There’s still movies we have to see, and things we need to talk about when she’s ready to, and places to visit when the weather is nice and when I can stand upright for longer than fifteen minutes without getting tired. 

I still owe her for my being here today. I’d still take this over anything, over zoning out of my mind in heaven reliving illusions of whatever good memories I could possibly have. If I could choose just one moment to live in for eternity, it would be this. Anything less than the end of the world wouldn’t feel right, I think. The world is always ending. And at least for this one I’m whole, and I can feel it. As shitty as the terror-filled part is, I still feel so fucking alive, for the first time. Never in my life have I ever felt so alive. And I can see my friends, the people I can finally call my friends. I’m not alone in the sky, and not in the pits either, I’m in the middle, and it’s a damn good middle. 

But there’s still people to save. So many people. 

I need to hold something. My hands are wretchedly empty, clammy, and shaking. It’s definitely out of character, and very embarrassing and very stupid, but I step closer between the two giants and pull the both of them closer to me. 

Finally pieced together, even if it’s a little late. 

I’m still happy anyways. It’s as good of an ending that we’ll ever get, I suppose. Together. 

[meladotjournal]

Esther - A Friend (Script Format)

Soul or not, being alone does something to a person. It can make even the most hardened hunters desperate for any form of connection. Since dropping out of school and running away, Esther’s contacts list is... dismal. She turns to the one person angel that she knows, but nobody seems to be answering. Unless?

KARI has entered the chat. 

As always, I have no idea what I’m doing. If I write your character wrong, or if you have any comments at all, please tell me! I encourage it! I need to be more productive, and if you need me to rewrite absolutely anything/everything, I am more than willing to have something to do!

Takes place in the Supernatural universe, set early on in Esther’s story. 918 words. Script format! It looks better in google docs, I swear!

/////

EXT. MOTEL - NIGHT

The motel's neon sign reflects off of the shiny wet asphalt. It's late, the hour in which only the desperate are awake.  ESTHER can be seen pacing in the parking lot, talking to someone who isn't there.

ESTHER: (Pleading) I'm asking nicely. I don't know what you want from me. I don't know what to do. ESTHER: (Frantic) You brought me here. You brought me back. But I don't have a purpose. You left me here without a purpose. You owe me. Do you hear that? You owe me!

Esther punches one of the nearby vending machines. $15 pops out.

There's a FLUTTER OF WINGS and a few gentle footsteps. Esther whips around to face the could-be attacker. Months of living on the run have gifted her with paranoia and fighting instinct like no other. Despite her background in psychology, she refuses to diagnose it as trauma. 

KADRIEL: (Graceful) Do not be afraid. I have come to answer your prayers.  ESTHER: Who are you?  KADRIEL: I am Kadriel. You- ESTHER: You're not him. Why are you here? What do you want from me?

Kadriel speaks to her like one would treat a wounded animal. 

KADRIEL: (Carefully) I'm here to help you, Esther Lebel. I come on behalf of Asteraoth. He's busy at the moment, I suppose. Most angels are. Always... Too busy... ESTHER: (Dismissive) Why am I not surprised? KADRIEL: I couldn't let your prayers go unanswered. It seemed... unfair.

Kadriel smiles to herself, proud for identifying the correct human concept. 

KADRIEL: What is it you need? ESTHER: (Begrudgingly) I just... I need...

Esther speaks like she's being forced to. Each word takes the utmost effort to be spoken. She's not one to ask for help lightly.

ESTHER: It's... different. You're not him. I don't know how you can help me. KADRIEL: I came here for you, Esther Lebel. Anything you need. Your path has been a weary one so far, like many humans, but worse. You've seen so much. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. ESTHER: What do you mean? KADRIEL: Our stories- you, me, everyone we know- I can feel it. It's like we were... placed where we don't belong, but we're still meant to. Does that make sense, Esther Lebel? ESTHER: No. KADRIEL: My apologies. What I mean to say is: Your life is hard enough as is. Harder than it should be. I'd like to make it easier.  ESTHER: Honestly? What I really want right now is a friend. Is that stupid? KADRIEL: Not at all, actually. Would you mind?

Kadriel extends her hand out towards Esther, palm facing up. Esther slowly takes it. Kadriel squeezes her fingers, shuts her eyes, takes a breath, and the scene changes. 

EXT. FLOWER GARDEN - DAWN

ESTHER squeezes KADRIEL's hand, rattled by the sudden change in setting. It's one of Kadriel's favorite places, in the few excursions she's been able to make to Earth. Esther doesn't let go, afraid to lose her anchor. Kadriel leads them around, sensing that Esther doesn't like to stay still. Like any other hunter. 

KADRIEL: You asked what your purpose was, am I correct? ESTHER: (Embarrassed) I-I guess.  KADRIEL: Would you believe me if I told you that none of us have any purpose? ESTHER: (Shocked) You do realize that you're an angel, right? W- what happened to-to divine right? Predestination? Fate? KADRIEL: In my time on Earth I've learned many things. Like what a Star Wars is. Or how candles have fun artificial scents now. And music. Did you know that there are candles that can sing?? ESTHER: No I did not. KADRIEL: My point is, there isn't always a right answer. Everything is always changing. It's part of what makes you human, Esther Lebel. Your ability to change.  ESTHER: For better or for worse?

Kadriel stops for a moment, looking Esther in the eye.

KADRIEL: For better. Always.

They continue walking. As she talks, Kadriel's eyes gradually become brighter.

KADRIEL: I've been watching you, Esther Lebel. And you aren't as bad as you think. A soul isn't what makes you human. I mean, it helps. But your ability to change and grow and make decisions and fail and succeed, all on your own terms, that's what makes a person. You leaned about it in one of your classes. Self efficacy. 

Esther nods. 

KADRIEL: (Quiet) There's a part of me that envies you. ESTHER: (Cringing) Envy? That's bad, right? KADRIEL: Perhaps. Are you ready? ESTHER: ... Perhaps.

INT. MOTEL - DAYBREAK

Esther's motel room is tomato themed. The wallpaper is a garish red and yellow, faded by time and various stains. Her research is scattered all over the green carpet. Kadriel avoids the mess effortlessly, while Esther pushes it around with her shoes. 

KADRIEL: Humans and their decorations. Solanum lycopersicum! I barely recognize them...

Esther sits on her bed, rubbing her eyes.

KADRIEL: I have to get going. Heaven, and all that. ESTHER: Kadriel? Thank you for coming tonight. I really needed... this. A friend. KADRIEL: Of course. I'll always be listening, Esther Lebel. ESTHER: Just Esther. Or Ess, I guess. KADRIEL: Godspeed, Esther. Good name, by the way. My brothers were familiar with her… Keep being human, yes? ESTHER: (Awkwardly) You too.

Esther scrunches her nose at her mistake. In a blink and a flurry of feathers, Kadriel is gone.

Esther feels lighter. Like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. She opens up her laptop. She types in "SINGING CANDLES".

[meladotjournal]

Esther - Pot Meets Kettle (Script Format)

As it turns out, a soul is harder to keep track of than one might think. Esther, currently soulless, is becoming desperate to feel whole again. Without a soul, she’s become less hindered by emotions and fear, but with it she becomes reckless and empty. Her new purpose in life is the reclaim herself. And, with an inflated sense of self-assurance, she goes to the crossroads for help. 

AES has entered the chat. 

As always, I have no idea what I’m doing. If I write your character wrong, or if you have any comments at all, please tell me! I encourage it! I need to be more productive, and if you need me to rewrite absolutely anything/everything, I am more than willing to have something to do!

Takes place in the Supernatural universe, set early on in Esther’s story. 733 words. Script format! It looks better in google docs, I swear!

/////

EXT. CROSSROADS - NIGHT

ESTHER tucks her necklace into her shirt before kicking the last of the dirt over the CROSSROADS BOX. She's impatient.

AESZURA: Howdy.

ESTHER whips around, facing the crossroads demon. 

ESTHER: Cut to the chase, demon.  AESZURA: (Abrasive) And how did you figure that one out? Seriously, what gave it away? Was it the eyes? ESTHER: It was the smell, actually. 

AESZURA is struggling to act professional. She's used to desperate men, not bitchy girls.

AESZURA: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Aeszura- ESTHER: I need to make a deal.

They're circling each other. 

ESTHER: I lost something. It's very important to me.  AESZURA: Sounds easy enough. Call me old fashioned, but I'm not really allowed to talk to strangers. I didn't catch your name?

ESTHER: I didn't throw it.

AESZURA forces a smile. ESTHER squints.

ESTHER: How long? Until you need my soul? AESZURA: If you don't open up a little, I'll have to keep that a secret.  ESTHER: Fine. 

AESZURA places her hands on ESTHER's shoulders, emphasizing her height.

AESZURA: I'm not honest very often, but I have to admit that I genuinely don't care if you wanna keep this anonymous. You do know how to seal the deal, right? ESTHER: I wasn't born yesterday. AESZURA: You could've fooled me, babyface. 

They kiss, and it's angry. AESZURA smiles, ESTHER keeps her eyes open. Something is wrong. AESZURA pulls away.

AESZURA: (Pissed) This- It- It isn't working.  ESTHER: (Impatient) Shit. What did you do? AESZURA: (Disgusted) What did YOU do? There's- there's nothing. What are you?  ESTHER: Esther Lebel. Esther Lebel. Hunter… human… pissed off-  AESZURA: (Shaken) This hasn't happened before.  ESTHER: Do you... want to try again? AESZURA: I have some decency. I don't do anything with people who- who aren't themselves...

Something clicks. AESZURA's eyes widen. She jabs her finger into the center of ESTHER's chest, accusing.

AESZURA: You fucking bitch. Your soul- you don't have a soul, do you? ESTHER: ... I don't have it on me. AESZURA: Don't tell me- you were trying to buy your soul, WITH your soul? ESTHER: And if I was? AESZURA: It doesn't fucking WORK like that, dumbass! 

She stoops, as if she were talking to a child.

AESZURA: (Baby voice) I can't make a deal if you don't have a soul. That's like, rule numero fucking uno. 

This is a major inconvenience to ESTHER's plan. She looks down at the ground. Pulling away from AESZURA, she starts attacking the closest tree. ESTHER has officially lost her cool.

ESTHER: (Between breaths) I can't fucking- I can't do anything!

ESTHER is desperate. AESZURA can work with that.  The businessman is back.

AESZURA: Hey hey hey, Essie, baby- maybe there's something I can do. We can still make a deal. Do you trust me?

ESTHER isn't really paying attention. AESZURA snaps her fingers. Suddenly, she is leaning on ESTHER's tree.

AESZURA: I'll get you your soul. Since you don't have it on you, though, we'll have to do it the hard way. How do you lose your soul, dumbass? Isn’t it supposed to be, you know, inside you? You can’t exactly whip it out- ESTHER: (Panting) It's a knife. AESZURA: I thought you said it was a soul. ESTHER: It's a soul and it's a knife.

ESTHER pulls her shirt low enough for AESZURA to see her scar, also revealing her cross necklace, exposing her allegiance with angels. AESZURA jumps back.

AESZURA: Well aren't you fucking full of surprises! Great. Angel shit. 

AESZURA runs her hands through her hair, frustrated.

AESZURA: (Strained) Fine. It's fine! I can work with this.

AESZURA paces left to right, in and out of frame, only walking in one direction and magically appearing on the other side.

AESZURA: First off, no matter what... form... it’s in... your soul belongs to me. I won't set a timer, since I'm feeling nice. I like you knowing that a part of you belongs to me. It's what you fuckin' get for trying to trick me. ESTHER: And what's the good news?

AESZURA appears directly behind ESTHER, rubbing her shoulders.

AESZURA: I'll stick right by your side until we find it. Don't worry-

She winks.

AESZURA: I never leave a lady dissatisfied. 

ESTHER blinks.

AESZURA: Deal?

AESZURA's eyes flash red. Her teeth look sharper. She leans forward. ESTHER leans back and extends her hand. 

ESTHER: Deal.

To AESZURA’s displeasure, they shake hands. The ground rumbles for a moment. This is a different kind of deal. Something strange has been set in motion. 

[meladotjournal]

Esther - You’re Tearing Me Apart (Script Format)

Esther mourns the death of her oldest friend, the angel Asteraoth. He saved her soul, forged her blade, and saw the start of her heroic journey. When it came to it, she wasn’t there to save him. Unlike the Winchesters, Miss Lebel doesn’t have the luxury of being able to sell her soul or use divine interference to get him back from The Empty. She falls apart, grief and... something else overcoming her. Can Esther pull herself together?

Takes place in the Supernatural universe, date unknown. 515 words. Script format! It looks better in google docs, I swear! 

/////

EXT. PIER - EARLY MORNING

The sky is gray and cloudy. A storm is brewing, but the sea is calm. There is only one person, one soul, on the old wooden dock. She holds her face in her hands.

ESTHER: (Voice strained) I could've done something.

She is trying to keep herself composed, but something is wrong. Something has broken.

ESTHER: Why wasn't I there? I thought I was important to him.

The light changes. The sea is uneasy. SHE uncovers her face, different but the same.

SOULLESS!ESTHER: You thought wrong. ESTHER: Shut up. Just- I can't. I can't. S!ESTHER: Can't what?

Esther is silent.

S!ESTHER: Can't save him? Can't be trusted? Can't function without him? It's funny. You're so used to praying to him. But now he's gone, and all you have is me. All you have is yourself.

Esther squeezes the TETHER with shaky hands.

S!ESTHER: We both know that trick won't work anymore. I'm here full-time. Taking back the reins, since you’re always so keen on giving them away. ESTHER: I don't want you! S!ESTHER: Looks like you have more in common with him than you thought. Did you really think he cared about you? Did you really think that you were more than just another human? Did you forget what he was?

Soulless!Esther plays with the Tether.

ESTHER: I feel different. I- I don't understand what's happening. S!ESTHER: Yes, you do. You just don't want to. Try again. ESTHER: (Choking back tears) He's gone.

Soulless!Esther is expressionless while her tears run down their face.

S!ESTHER: Exactly. He's gone. How do you expect his little miracle to keep working? No angel means no bond. There's nothing keeping you together. Not anymore. You depended too much on him, and now you’re finally paying for it. ESTHER: (Through her teeth) Stop talking about him. Stop fucking talking. S!ESTHER: Why should I? What can you do to me? He didn't want you there to defend him. Why now? Asteraoth is dead, Esther. ESTHER: I'll kill you.

The sky has gotten darker. The clouds are thicker.

S!ESTHER: You know what would happen. I don't think you're that stupid. Or brave.

Esther SLAMS the Tether into the wood of the pier. It cracks and splinters.

S!ESTHER: I didn't drive around the country doing God knows what for you and your soul- for us- just for you to throw it away. ESTHER: What the hell am I supposed to do?

Soulless!Esther YANKS the Tether out of the wood.

S!ESTHER: We keep going for ourselves. ESTHER: (Determined) I do him proud. I owe it to him.

She walks back toward the mainland. It hasn't started raining yet.

INT. ESTHER'S CAR

The car door slams. The Tether sits on the passenger seat, light flickering.

ESTHER: Just you and me.

Esther checks her rearview mirror. Soulless!Esther looms in the back seat, but Esther has her hands on the wheel.

The car drives off. The sky has since settled.

[meladotjournal]

Dio and Aeszura - Extended

Drabble? Is that what you call these? Extended version of the scene intertwined in Esther - End of the Road. Exploring how Ess feels about her associates, the demon and the trickster. 1000ish words.

Feauring: Aeszura and Dionysus. As always, I have no idea what I’m doing. If I write your character wrong, or if you have any comments at all, please tell me! I encourage it! I need to be more productive, and if you need me to rewrite absolutely anything/everything, I am more than willing to have something to do!

/////

We were getting ready for the next hunt, just like always. This was a big one, I can’t quite remember what, but it was something to do with demons and a weird hoodoo drug trade. And as much as I hate needing help, Aes and Dio were helping. In their own ways. 

 If I hadn’t met them while I was soulless, I really doubt I’d have had the balls to stand my ground. In all honesty, they’re terrifying. I feel like at any moment, they could just eat me alive, or tell me that whatever bond we’d built was a part of some elaborate prank. But even I‘ll admit that I’m not exactly “best fwend” material. So I guess it works. 

Dio had this aura about him. Sure, he’d joke around and put up his silly drunk persona, but it was pretty easy to see that it was all a facade. He’d stand up straight, and once you made eye contact, there’d be this shimmer in the air, and you’d feel so damn tiny. He had a sense of justice like no other, and seeing what he was capable of was enough to give you nightmares. I’ll never be able to look at another tree or television without wondering if there’s someone trapped inside. 

 I’ve never been sure if he really was the Dionysus. He insists on going by Dio (unless he’s in one of those terrifying justice-seeking rampages) and he’s pretty keen on changing the subject. I swear he uses the candy as an excuse- to cover up the smell of olive oil and grapes. But I’m not stupid enough to provoke an ancient god. 

 Aeszura was the first demon I ever met. I tried making a deal with her, and we’ve been stuck together ever since. If Dio were in one of his timeless moods he’d call it fate. I’m not sure what to believe in anymore. She’s unlike any other demon, not just because of the eyes, but because she seems to be a demon with real human feelings and memories. And she hates other demons just as much as she hates angels. It reminds me of someone from a story I read online- I can’t remember if it was fanfiction or lore. 

 But I know that Aeszura is different, and I hope I don’t sound too self-assured when I say that I’m sure she’d never betray me or anything like that. And besides, it’s not like I’m important enough to betray. My soul technically belongs to her, even if it’s been warped beyond recognition. 

 Like Dio, she has two personalities. One minute, she’s recounting exactly how many hot dogs can be forced into each human orifice: and the other, her eyes crinkle, and you can tell she’s remembering something too painful to talk about. I barely know anything about her, let alone what she was like when she was human. I can’t cheat with her like how I can research Dio, so I just have to try and poke the beast without getting my hand bitten off. 

 None of us sleep much. We were fooling around, getting drunk off the minibar while we watched the sun rise from the comfort of our surprisingly classy hotel room, thanks to Dio’s “abilities”. 

 “I think I finally figured it out,” Aeszura cackled. “I know exactly how I’d kill you.” 

I rolled my eyes while Dio played along. 

“I really fucking doubt you could, little miss Musical.ly star.” 

“Yes I could. I’d film it. No- I’d livestream it. And people would give me so much fucking money just to watch you die. I know the websites. Hell,” she laughed, “Facebook would work just fine. My followers would love it!” 

“You don’t even know what I am. I’ve been alive for thousands of years. I could be anything.” 

“Hell time works different. Like Australia. You don’t know how old I am. But I know exactly what you are. Dionysus.” 

“I honestly doubt it. Dumbass.” 

“You’re a little bitch, that’s what you are.” 

I downed another one of the funky little cinnamon drinks. Not Fireball, but something fancier to match the room, and the egyptian cotton I was spilling it on. Higher thread counts were pretty good at absorbing alcohol. Nice. I tried drawing patterns with my finger on the sheets before the alcohol could evaporate. 

/////

 “Fine. Fine! Then how- how’d’you kill Esther, huh?” 

“I don’t even know if that bitch can physically die. Can you die?” Aeszura threw an empty beer can in my direction, laughing, barely missing my head.

“Hrruhgh?” I grumbled. 

“CAN. YOU. DIE.” 

“Of course she can. Everyone does…” He paused, slouching. Before he thought we noticed the change in tone, he winked. “‘Cept me, of course.” 

“I dunno. I’ll go to hell probably. Jus’ like everyone else.” 

“Yeah right, with all those angels up your ass? You’ve got half of heaven on your stupid speed dial. It’s disgusting.” 

“You’re sounding pretty self-righteous for a demon. What’s got your panties in a twist, huh, pink eyes?” 

“They’re RED, fuckhead. Shut up. I hate you.” She coughed. “Ess, I don’t even know if you could go to hell. Trust me- I practically run the joint. Your soul isn’t, like, ‘soul-y’ enough. I don’t know what that angel did to you but-” 

“He saved my-” 

“Shut UP. I know souls, okay. It’s kind of my fucking job. But even I’m not exactly sure what would happen if your meatsuit stopped jiving on this earthly plane.” 

“Can’t become a ghost, can you? Your soul is already Tethered.” Dio giggles, snapping his fingers. 

“Too bad your pretty little angel can’t tell you anything. That’s what you get f-” 

“I really don’t want to talk about this anymore. Why should I care, anyways? It’s not like I can do anything about it. It’s just eternity. I don’t have to worry about that when I’m busy here. And I don’t plan on dying anytime soon.”

Dio chimed in, singing. “That’s what they all say…”

[meladotjournal]

Esther - Like A Stone

Esther Abigale Lebel, despite everything, is still human. It’s her time. For now, at least. And all hunters go the same way- bloody. But what exactly happens when someone like her dies?

ESTHER has left the chat. 

Feauring: Aeszura and Dionysus. As always, I have no idea what I’m doing. If I write your character wrong, or if you have any comments at all, please tell me! I encourage it! I need to be more productive, and if you need me to rewrite absolutely anything/everything, I am more than willing to have something to do!

Takes place during Supernatural Season 12, Episode 21, set at the end of Esther’s story. Near 1800 words. 

/////

May 11, 2017

I walk out of the cabin, not bothering to clean up the mess inside. The fire I had started inside was already spreading. Sure, the bodies would smell, but at least I could be sure that I wouldn’t have to worry about any more undead spirits in this town anytime soon.

It was an easy hunt involving a couple of serial killers and a surprisingly helpful ghost. I was surprised that no local hunters (whose names I rarely bothered to remember) had picked up on it before I did. Jobs were becoming unsettlingly easy to find. I’m not one to back off of a case- I’ve been known to force other hunters off of jobs, but it felt wrong, and the recent British invasion was nothing if not suspicious. It made me almost glad that I hadn’t made many friends in the hunting community. 

And not that I was lonely or anything, but damn! I haven’t even heard from Aes. And I think we all know how much she likes to talk my ear off about things I hardly understand. But at least she sticks around, you know? I was worried about her, but don’t tell her I said so.

I start towards my car before I hear rustling in the trees. Or was it the fire? My paranoid ass wasn’t looking to wait to find out. That’s when I notice my tires were slashed. Shit. Shit! Here I am, moping like an idiot just to find out that someone’s tailing me. Just my luck. Shit!

I’d go back into the cabin, but that thing is on the verge of collapse at this point. I make a break for it, running into the thickest-looking stretch of forest, aiming in the direction of the shitty little town where I booked a shitty little motel suite.

I find a clearing nearby. Bad for cover, but a hell of a lot easier to run through. Just as I’m plotting my zig-zag formation, I see a big black SUV. Definitely bulletproof. Ominous. There’s sigils etched all over the thing. Shit. Those British fucks were onto me. I’ve been avoiding these cars for months.

I’ve spent too much time examining this thing. Lucky for me, this dumbass left the passenger door unlocked. Sloppy for one of the Men of Letters, though. What was he, drunk? Even the footsteps were sloppy. Small, around my size.

I hop in and crawl into the backseat, locking all the doors manually. I spot my reflection in the window. Jesus, I look terrified. My hands are shaking, and I find myself fiddling with my necklace. Stupid! Be productive! I use my stupid shaky hands to call the first person on my contacts list.

/////

We were getting ready for the next hunt, just like always. This was a big one, I can’t quite remember what, but it was something to do with demons and some weird hoodoo drug trade. And as much as I hate needing help, Aes and Dio were helping. In their own ways.

If I hadn’t met them while I was soulless, I doubt I’d have had the balls to stand my ground. In all honesty, they’re terrifying. I feel like at any moment, they could just eat me alive, or tell me that whatever bond we’d built was a part of some elaborate prank. But even I‘ll admit that I’m not exactly “best fwend” material. So I guess it works.

None of us sleep much. We were fooling around, getting drunk off the minibar while we watched the sunrise from the comfort of our surprisingly classy hotel room, thanks to Dio’s snappy finger magic.

“I think I finally figured it out,” Aeszura cackled. “I know exactly how I’d kill you.”

I rolled my eyes while Dio played along. “I really fucking doubt you could, little miss musical.ly star.”

“Yes, I could. I’d film it. No- I’d livestream it. And people would give me so much fucking money just to watch your smug ass die. I know the websites. Hell,” she laughed, “Facebook Live would work just fine. My followers would love it. Idiots.”

“You don’t even know what I am. I’ve been alive for thousands of years. I could be anything.”

“Time works different in hell. Like Australia. You can’t imagine how long I’ve been kicking ass. But I know exactly what you are. Dionysus.”

“I honestly doubt it. Dumbass.”

“You’re a little bitch, that’s what you are.”

I downed another one of the funky little cinnamon drinks. Not Fireball, but something fancier to match the room, and the Greek cotton I was spilling it on. Higher thread counts were pretty good at absorbing alcohol. Nice. I tried drawing patterns with my finger on the sheets before it could evaporate.

/////

I ran my nails along the face of my phone, fidgeting with the cracks in the screen. “Aes. Please, fucking pick up. I’m going crazy here. Crazier than usual. I’m talking to myself. I swear to-”

“Hey, bitch! What’s up?”

“Oh thank fucking god- Aes, I-”

“HAHA! Just kidding. This is my voicemail. Ha. Sorry. Follow me @stankthottie on musical.ly and-”

“SHIT.” I pound my head on the window, immediately regretting it. I can’t believe I fall for that stupid fucking voicemail every fucking time.

There’s no way I’m gonna be able to hotwire this car or anything. And even if I could, the Men of Letters would know that I stole it and track me down before I could even look at an asphalt road. I don’t know what I was thinking, getting into this car in the first place.

“-anyways, leave me a message after the scream or whatever. Except if you’re an angel or some shit. Eat a dick.”

“Aes, I’m such a dumbass. I’m in one of their cars. They slashed my tires and I- I can’t-” I squeezed my eyes shut, taking a deep breath.

“It doesn’t look good. I’m alone. Haven’t been able to figure out where all the hunters have been going and you know my knife hasn’t been working the same since Asteraoth… you know…” Shit, I’m crying. “-and I’m just so fucking scared, okay? I don’t know where you’ve been and why you’ve been avoiding me or whatever but now would be a really really great time to pop in and do that whole dramatic-as-all-hell smokey thing and save my sorry ass-”

I could’ve sworn I saw something in the trees. Someone? Blonde.

It’s started to rain. Great. Awesome. Fantastic. I try to shuffle my body lower into the seats and closer to the floor of the car. I can see the sky through the windows. The sun’s setting. It’ll be dark soon. I was hoping on getting some biscuits and gravy or something from the diner for dinner before heading out of town. My hiding spot smells like leather. And blood.

/////

“Fine. Fine! Then how- how’d you kill Esther, huh?”

“I don’t even know if that bitch can physically die. Can you die?” Aeszura threw an empty beer can in my direction, laughing, barely missing my head.

“Hrruhgh?” I grumbled.

“CAN. YOU. DIE.”

“Of course she can. Everyone does…” He paused, slouching. Before he thought we noticed his change in tone, he winked. “‘Cept me, of course.”

“I dunno. I’ll go to hell probably. Jus’ like everyone else.”

“Yeah right, with all those angels up your ass? You’ve got half of heaven on your stupid speed dial. It’s disgusting.”

“You’re sounding pretty self-righteous for a demon. What’s got your panties in a twist, huh, pink eyes?”

“They’re RED, fuckhead. Shut up. I hate you.” She coughed. “Ess, I don’t even know if you could go to hell. Trust me- I practically run the joint. Your soul isn’t, like, ‘soul-y’ enough. I don’t know what that angel did to you but-”

“He saved my-”

“Shut UP. Call it whatever the hell you want, but I know souls, okay? It’s kind of my fucking job. But even I’m not exactly sure what would happen if your m-eatsuit-” she paused to gag, “-exploded or something. It’s not a soul anymore. I’m not sure if it- if you - could even go anywhere.”

“Can’t become a ghost, can you? Your soul is already Tethered. I bet like, eight goats that you’d get trapped inside the knife or some shit like that” Dio giggles, snapping his fingers.

“Too bad your pretty little angel can’t tell you anything.” Aeszura joked, but she was getting genuinely angry. “That’s what you get for trusting some stupid fucking feathery-”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, guys. We have a case, remember? Why should I care, anyway? It’s not like I can do anything about it. It’s just eternity. I don’t have to worry about that when I’m busy here. Working cases. And I don’t plan on dying anytime soon.”

Dio chimed in, singing. “That’s what they all say…”

/////

I’m still on the phone. I don’t want to turn it off. I want an audience. It’s stupid and childish, but even hiding from whoever’s out there, I don’t wanna be alone.

I can hear the rain attacking the roof of the car. The leaves on the trees are shaking just as badly as I am. Stupid. I’m probably overreacting, right? It’s nothing. This is nothing. I’ve been through worse. I’ve come out of worse. Who says I’m gonna die? I don’t know the Men of Letters’ M.O. but the thought just leaves a rank taste in my mouth and a lump in my throat. There’s something outside, I can feel it.

That’s when my knife, the Tether, starts humming. I take it out from the inside of my jacket, squeezing it tight. It’s glowing for the first time in months. The thing is practically singing, the vibrations making the worst noise imaginable, like a cross between a bell and a scream. The windows start to shake and the car alarm goes off.There’s a chirp and all the doors unlock. The rear door, the one by my feet, opens.

I sit up a little (might as well) and lock eyes with a blonde woman. Short hair. Big green eyes, but they’re glazed over. She looks tired, but she’s smiling. She’s holding some complicated device, as all these British fucks do- but she doesn’t look like one of them. She’s a hunter. They must’ve recruited her. Bitch. She fiddles on something on the device and the Tether stops screaming.

She pulls out a small gun and aims it right at my chest. I flip her the bird.