meltedfuckingmarshmallow

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The Kiss of Life, Rocco Morabito (1967)

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Today a very friendly Golden Retriever came up to me and I said "hey buddy :D" and the owner asked "do you know each other?" like his dog had a social life he didn't know about

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She'll fuck me if I cook good enough I know it

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american maid cafe review

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Bring Me The Boss Hog

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found a rock in the kitchen and as I was about to throw it in the trash I thought "wait this is cruel I should let it outside" as if it was a living thing

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“can you Believe there are people who genuinely believe they’re fictional characters” you will find yourself being dumped into a highway ditch at 4 in the morning and me and my fucking pikachu buddy will drive off with not an ounce of grief in our hearts

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"tumblr humor is only funny to tumblr users" NOT true. those bitches on pinterest love us.

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i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.

as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."

NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING

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(trying to give relationship advice) from a narrative perspective i think both of you dying together would be the most emotionally satisfying resolution but i’m guessing that’s not what you want to hear

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people in books and tv shows are always getting so upset they throw an untouched meal in the trash. that would never be me. i'd receive the worst news of my life and still be like Let me put this in the fridge.

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30-Song Guess Your Age Quiz

Fwiw, they thought I was MANY years younger than I am. Just made me feel good all over. 😊

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imagine getting this review

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Spite can be a incredible motivator