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Help I’m going down with this ship

The absolute siren’s call to make a OFMD!Blackbeard-POV fanvid to ABBA’s “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” is sucking me DOWN into the DEPTHS. 

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Random Marta and Benoit headcanons

Marta’s parents are from Cuba.  They escaped just after Castro took control.  Marta and her sister were born in America.

Marta’s father died of a lung disease from the job he worked.  Because they were undocumented he didn’t get as much treatment as he could have.  It’s what made Marta resolved to become a nurse.

She volunteers once a week for a charity, donating her nursing at a free clinic. 

Benoit is from Charleston, South Carolina.  His family has lived in South Caroline for generations.

He was a total mama’s boy, listening to everything she said.  Manners were very important.  He was somewhat frail as a boy, didn’t play sports.  Sometimes stayed home but when he did he read a lot.  He was ten when he read Raymond Chandler for the first time and decided he was going to be a detective.

When he was in high school he discovered musical theatre.  His last year of high school he was the Prince in Cinderella.  For a brief time he flirted with going to school for acting but instead ended up at Michigan State for a degree in Criminal Justice.  He goes to New York once a year and watches as many Broadway shows as he can fit in.  He supports the local theatres in town as well.

Benoit really likes donuts, and sweets in general.  He takes his coffee sweet and light, in part because he likes weeks, in part because so many stations have bad coffee.  Marta takes hers black usually, but occasionally treats herself to fancier drinks like pumpkin spice lattes.

Benoit is a great cook, but his cooking is mostly limited to southern style foods.

Marta doesn’t cook as much but her mother did make sure she knows some basics.

Marta’s mom (I’ve decided on Elena) is touched when Benoit asks if he might learn to cooks a few Cuban specialties from her.

Alice thinks Benoit is hot, but in a ‘hot for an older guy’ kind of hot.  She’s five years younger than her sister and hasn’t figured out what she wants.

Harlan’s mom lives at a very posh home, and Marta keeps paying the bill and visits once a week.  She pays for Meg’s schooling.  She does not let Walt work at the publishing company but she does offer him a very generous (too generous) severance package.

She tells Linda she can have any possessions from the mansion she wants to remember her father by.  Linda asks for the desk from her father’s study and a handful of other things.  

Benoit has never been close to being married before.  Marta was engaged once but it didn’t work out.

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.........

*BEGINS FURIOUSLY PLOTTING*

i think it’s really important the world knows that lakeith stanfield and noah segan pitched a tv spin-off of knives out to rian johnson called okay cops with the tagline “they’re fine” featuring the passable police work of lieutenant eliot and trooper wagner

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Chapters: 13/13 Fandom: Knives Out (2019) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Benoit Blanc/Marta Cabrera Characters: Benoit Blanc, Marta Cabrera, Alice Cabrera, Lieutenant Elliott (Knives Out), Trooper Wagner (Knives Out) Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Harlan Thrombey playing games from beyond the grave, estate reconciliation is traumatic, half-your-age-plus-seven-years rule is in FULL EFFECT, dude she could have DIED, Twisting the knife Summary:

When the truth was revealed, often it was not the last he saw of the parties involved. He was anticipating having to testify at Hugh Ransom Drysdale’s trial in the spring, for example. But this was new territory for him.

As he put his focus towards the problem at hand, in the back of his mind was the realization that he had to approach this not as the great Benoit Blanc—

But as a friend.

~~~~

IT’S THE FINAL CHAPTER! *DIES*

....NOW ONWARD TO THE SEQUEL!!!!!

*DIES SOME MORE*

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Chapters: 12/? Fandom: Knives Out (2019) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Benoit Blanc/Marta Cabrera Characters: Benoit Blanc, Marta Cabrera, Alice Cabrera, Lieutenant Elliott (Knives Out), Trooper Wagner (Knives Out) Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Harlan Thrombey playing games from beyond the grave, estate reconciliation is traumatic, half-your-age-plus-seven-years rule is in FULL EFFECT, dude she could have DIED, Twisting the knife Summary:

When the truth was revealed, often it was not the last he saw of the parties involved. He was anticipating having to testify at Hugh Ransom Drysdale’s trial in the spring, for example. But this was new territory for him.

As he put his focus towards the problem at hand, in the back of his mind was the realization that he had to approach this not as the great Benoit Blanc—

But as a friend.

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fucking losing it at the concept of a reverse Holmes and Watson like there's this genius journalist who goes around solving crimes and writes about how he does it and then there's his useless himbo assistant who does fuck all and just follows him around absolutely out of his mind on cocaine

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best uses of dan in venom fanfic:

one half of “actual competent adults” couple with anne to foil eddie and venom

Dr. Dan Lewis Has The Brain Cell (“for my next trick, i will eat five containers of sewage waste in one minute!” “no! no you will not do that, because if you do that, eddie will die.”)

on a similar note, the smart, mature friend you go to for advice, and then proceed to never take their advice even once

trying oh-so-hard to be chill and laid-back about the whole maneating alien thing, but inwardly is going “what the actual fuck” every other minute

“this is our friend dan, he’s amazing, and he DROVE US HERE.”

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best uses of dan in venom fanfic:

one half of “actual competent adults” couple with anne to foil eddie and venom

Dr. Dan Lewis Has The Brain Cell (“for my next trick, i will eat five containers of sewage waste in one minute!” “no! no you will not do that, because if you do that, eddie will die.”)

on a similar note, the smart, mature friend you go to for advice, and then proceed to never take their advice even once

trying oh-so-hard to be chill and laid-back about the whole maneating alien thing, but inwardly is going “what the actual fuck” every other minute

“this is our friend dan, he’s amazing, and he DROVE US HERE.”

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Chapters: 11/? Fandom: Knives Out (2019) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Benoit Blanc/Marta Cabrera Characters: Benoit Blanc, Marta Cabrera, Alice Cabrera, Lieutenant Elliott (Knives Out), Trooper Wagner (Knives Out) Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Harlan Thrombey playing games from beyond the grave, estate reconciliation is traumatic, half-your-age-plus-seven-years rule is in FULL EFFECT, dude she could have DIED, Twisting the knife Summary:

When the truth was revealed, often it was not the last he saw of the parties involved. He was anticipating having to testify at Hugh Ransom Drysdale’s trial in the spring, for example. But this was new territory for him.

As he put his focus towards the problem at hand, in the back of his mind was the realization that he had to approach this not as the great Benoit Blanc—

But as a friend.

––––

My apologies for the delay! Work has been a S L O G, and this chapter was a bit of a trick because we’re in the End Game now :O I’m suspecting there’s will be only one more chapter after this one. *BITES NAILS!*

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Benoit Blanc: [walks into the will reading] Alright, listen up you little shits!

Thrombey Family: ...

Benoit Blanc: Not you, Marta. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here!

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Well the first thing we have to accept is that Benoit Blanc would have been a Theater Kid in high school. So. Dramatic 80s power ballads? All the Dolly Parton???

Sometimes I lie awake at night because supposing we just use the actor’s ages for the characters, Benoit Blanc is Generation X and Marta is a Millennial and that means Benoit was a teenager in the *******80s******** and if I have to live with that knowledge so do YOU.

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Oh. Oh he watched REMINGTON STEELE. 

I don’t see him as having been a leather jacket type. Might I humbly suggest he might have been a nerd with a side of yuppie?

I have absolutely no idea where I land on mullet--a tragic mistake made during a summer job?

Sometimes I lie awake at night because supposing we just use the actor’s ages for the characters, Benoit Blanc is Generation X and Marta is a Millennial and that means Benoit was a teenager in the *******80s******** and if I have to live with that knowledge so do YOU.

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Sometimes I lie awake at night because supposing we just use the actor’s ages for the characters, Benoit Blanc is Generation X and Marta is a Millennial and that means Benoit was a teenager in the *******80s******** and if I have to live with that knowledge so do YOU.

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Chapters: 9/? Fandom: Knives Out (2019) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Benoit Blanc/Marta Cabrera Characters: Benoit Blanc, Marta Cabrera, Alice Cabrera, Lieutenant Elliott (Knives Out), Trooper Wagner (Knives Out) Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Harlan Thrombey playing games from beyond the grave, estate reconciliation is traumatic, half-your-age-plus-seven-years rule is in FULL EFFECT, dude she could have DIED, Twisting the knife Summary:

When the truth was revealed, often it was not the last he saw of the parties involved. He was anticipating having to testify at Hugh Ransom Drysdale’s trial in the spring, for example. But this was new territory for him.

As he put his focus towards the problem at hand, in the back of his mind was the realization that he had to approach this not as the great Benoit Blanc—

But as a friend.

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Knives Out plot bunnies

Do any of y’all have any idea how hard it is not to have my fic digress into a flashback about the Adventures of Benoit Blanc’s Daddy and Young!Harlan Thrombey in the Deep South wherein Harlan is a reporter that moonlights as a fiction writer on the side and Daddy Blanc is played by young Callum Keith Rennie and he’s just trying to be a good cop look at these photos and understand how hard my life it right now.

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KNIVESOUTNOCAP Folks!

Is anyone on Pillowfort.io? Look, bless all y’all into Ransom, but I’d love to start a Benoit Blanc community, with a corner for Benoit/Marta. Thoughts?

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This is the Knives Out bookstore meet cute the Knives Out fandom needs for Benoit and Marta.