memoirs-to-myself - Tumblr blog

[memoirs-to-myself]

August 23, 2023 11:37

It's been one hell of a year since last, possible on of the worst in terms of living conditions. In fact, since June 28 of this year, I've been bouncing between homes...I'm planning on updating this blog to info.dump.my life since 2019 it's just been you know.

Four year huff

[memoirs-to-myself]

September 25th 2022, 2:53 AM

Theres a lot i want to say right now, all most inchoernt rambling and suicidal musings. the only thing that matters to me in this very moment is that i lost the tiny theard i was holding on to....he doesn’t love me the way i love him and he never will

[memoirs-to-myself]

“When I say I’m in love with you, / that means I’m not alone inside of it.”

— — Yanyi, from “Leaving the House,” Dream of the Divided Field

[memoirs-to-myself]

Missed it on Feb 2, but it's been 10 whole years since I created this blog heh....most of the content is pre 2016 and would be even bigger if I had my iphone journal,but still....an inconsistent record of 10 years, many ereas of my life

[memoirs-to-myself]

Almost a year later and I still haven't learned, repeating all my mistakes over and over and expecting a different result, I am truly insane

[memoirs-to-myself]

April 28th 2021 3:44 AM

I could talk about a lot of things. A lot. But I'll only talk about tonight. I got my heart broken. I knew it would happen and I still did it, cause this was the time I truly wanted it to be different. It was only 17 days but I already was falling for him. My first real love. And he knew it and chose someone else

I hurt so much

[memoirs-to-myself]

Barely treading water in this sea of self hatred I've casted myself off in

[memoirs-to-myself]

Bought a dildo so I can finally go fuck myself properly

edit: delete this

[memoirs-to-myself]

Found a guy I'd be willing and happy to date but he hates all drug use! Fuck!

2 months later edit: This did NOT end up aging well, I'm a piece of shit lol. I'm the reason I'm single

[memoirs-to-myself]

i don’t really have any moments to myself anymore. theres somebody always in my space. and i want to say i don’t mind but lately i feel like i constantly have to have a mask on. i don’t get a chance to just be me. its exhausting 

i don’t know how long i can keep up. just let me be alone and stop talking to me

is what i want to say. but i always feel alone so how could that even be

im just a paradox. can’t explain that

4 29 20 

[memoirs-to-myself]

i feel personally attacked 

[memoirs-to-myself]

i am just a sad ending that refuses to begin again 

[memoirs-to-myself]

i just wanna be held but im the one who’s supposed to be holding

pathetic 

[memoirs-to-myself]

I have yet to take a drug that makes me feel insane as you do

4 22 20

[memoirs-to-myself]

I can't admit I need help because I can't stand to burden others with my own issues

4 21 20

[memoirs-to-myself]

What even is self love, body positivity? A genuine question because I hate everything about these photos and damn near myself

[memoirs-to-myself]

it’s been almost a year

time for a massive upload dump

life has been...well

different