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We looked inside some of the posts by memories-journal and here's what we found interesting.
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Notes Per Post
141K
Likes Per Post
68K
Reblog Per Post
74K
Reply Per Post
183
Time Between Posts
3 months
Number of Posts By Type
Text
12
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5
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god i can't stop hurting myself
i don't even want to
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Was I raised without love?
Or was I born unlovable?
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Things abusive parents have made you feel guilty about - a bingo!
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i always ask myself
who could i have been
if you didn't destroy me
at such a young age?
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how can i function inside a person i don't know?
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i'm having an anxiety attack bc i broke a vacuum bottle while i was shaking it to mix some juice. it was my gf's grandma vacuum bottle and it was from brazil so it's very difficult to find a new one unless you want to pay a big amount of money.
i told my gf i'd buy a new one but she refused and she told her mother and grandmother that she was the one who broke it so they'll be both mad at my gf and it's all my fault. and my gf isn't even mad at me. and i can't stop feeling like i deserve some kind of punishment.
when we were coming back home we came into a friend of hers and my gf told her that she had broken the vacuum bottle herself and her friend laughed and told her that she was stupid and clumsy and that she should have known that it'd break if she shook it, specially if it had ice in it.
my gf had to hear those things which should have been said to me and that makes me feel terrible.
i couldn't talk anymore and now she probably thinks that i'm the one who's mad at her for not letting me buy her a new vacuum bottle when i actually couldn't talk bc i was holding back my tears. my anxiety attack exploded as soon as i entered my room and i burst into tears. i can't stop thinking about the horrible things that were done to me every time i'd break sth as a kid.
i want to be punished. i crave it. idk how else i could take rid of this suffocating pain.
i'm drowning.
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