memyselfandclive

[memyselfandclive]

Read all about it

I was challenged this morning by the lyrics of Emily Sande’s ‘Read all about it’.  Not because I heard the song, they just came to me when I was talking with someone.  Among the many problems in the world, there’s one that goes under the radar and has become widely accepted as OK and that may be because of ignorance or it may be because people are just selfish.  But it’s the fake football shirt industry.  The industry is growing because of greed - greed of football clubs and kit manufacturers and greed of those behind the fake shirt industry.  Clubs are selling their shirts for extortionate amounts of money driving the demand for fake shirts which can be bought online for a fraction of the cost.  And unlike years ago when a fake shirt stuck out like a sore thumb, now you can barely tell the difference.

But here’s the problem.  The fake shirt industry is unregulated.  Unlike the major kit manufacturers who will be checked to make sure that they’re not employing children that should be in school and that workers aren’t working in terrible conditions and that the pay is fair etc, all if that goes out of the window when it comes to fake shirts. 

So here’s where Emily Sande comes in.  I’ve had a few conversations with people about the above when they’ve talked about buying fake shirts and the look on their face is one of ‘Oh shut up’ or ‘get off your high horse’.  People don't want to know.  The topic has now come up a couple of times in the last week - including this morning - and I’ve kept quiet.  Why?  Fear I guess.  Fear of people not wanting to talk to me if this is how I’m going to be.  Read all about it is about speaking up against injustice.  Edmund Burke said ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing’.  If I am a good person, then I’m guilty.  Next time, I’ll speak up again…I hope.

You've got the words to change a nation But you're biting your tongue You've spent a life time stuck in silence Afraid you'll say something wrong If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?

You've got a heart as loud as lions So why let your voice be tamed? Maybe we're a little different There's no need to be ashamed You've got the light to fight the shadows So stop hiding it away

I wanna sing, I wanna shout I wanna scream 'til the words dry out So put it in all of the papers I'm not afraid They can read all about it

At night we're waking up the neighbours While we sing away the blues Making sure that we're remembered, yeah 'Cause we all matter too If the truth has been forbidden Then we're breaking all the rules

Let's get the TV and the radio To play our tune again It's 'bout time we got some airplay of our version of events There's no need to be afraid I will sing with you my friend

Yeah, we're all wonderful, wonderful people So when did we all get so fearful? Now we're finally finding our voices So take a chance, come help me sing this

[memyselfandclive]

If

The nation has gone football mad.  We’ve caught the bug and, once again, we’re starting to believe that football might well be coming home again.

I’ve been following England since the 1982 World Cup when I was a lad.  There has been a lot of disappointment in that time.  So of course, I want England to win the Euros. But the thing I really want more than anything is for Southgate to lead England to winning the Euros.

I remember wondering in 1996 why this young and reasonably inexperienced guy was taking such a high-profile penalty when much more experienced players didn’t.  After that miss, I remember feeling cross at the likes of Tony Adams for not stepping up.  But I wonder what the Southgate of today would look like had he not taken, and missed, that penalty?

Had Tony Adams taken a penalty, he may have scored and we may have gone on to win the game and the tournament.  But had he missed, what we know of his demons with drugs and alcohol now, it may have been too much.  We just never know.

We often use the phrase ‘character-building’ when people go through hard times, but it really is true. Even Beckham getting sent off against Argentina in 98, I believe, was the making of him and the leader he became. Southgate has written a book for young people called ‘Anything is possible’ with the subtext of ‘Be brave, be kind & follow your dreams’.  If you’ve got kids, I recommend you buy it for them.

You never hear anyone speak of Southgate without speaking highly of him. I heard Paul Merson saying that he used to look at Southgate and think ‘I wish I was like you’.  There have been times when I’ve questioned his tactics and team selection, but at the time of writing, we’re in the semi-finals of the Euros, we’ve won the group, knocked out Germany and haven’t conceded a goal. Maybe he knows better than me after all!!!

And the way he looks out for other people.  After winning the QF match, he talks about the subs who haven’t played and how important they are. After the Germany game, you see him going round all of the unused subs. Carlos Bacca missed Columbia’s Penalty in the World Cup shootout against England in 2018 and while the England players were celebrating winning the game, Southgate went straight over the Bacca to console him.  

The bottom line is, I’ll cry if we win it and I’ll cry if we don’t.  Either way, the tears will be for Southgate.  We need young people to look at him and say ‘I wanna be like that’.

[memyselfandclive]

Clickbait

If I’m going to be truly honest, I need to start by showing how sad I am.

I was on YouTube – having a scroll (sad in itself) – when I saw a cooking video (puff pastry recipe no less) with a very enticing picture.  I was sucked in.  I watched the video knowing that the one they had as the title screen would probably be at the end but watched the rest of the video which was semi-interesting. But the recipe on the title screen never appeared.  It was just there to get me to watch the video.  Although they never explicitly said that the shown recipe would be featured on the video, they kinda lied.

It did make me think how much people do the same.  Sometimes we can give people a little glimpse of something that we want them to see – something that will make them think positively about us – but do we actually deliver?  Is that really who we are?  How we portray ourselves to others may be who we really are or it may be who we’d like to be. It may even be who we think we should be.  But if we’re not that, then it’s unauthentic to make people think that we are.

I guess we’ve all done it. It often comes out of insecurity – wanting people to think we’re great or trying to match up to other people.  But ultimately, it ends in disappointment.  I was disappointed when the recipe I wanted to see wasn’t there and, as a result, I’ve clicked on the ‘Don’t recommend this channel’ option as I now think they’re untrustworthy.  I know I’m verging on the whole cancel culture thing here but if we pretend to be something that we’re not, we’ll get found out and then people won’t trust us in future.

So, there’s a good argument for WYSIWYG (What you see is what you get) but there’s also a case for if we want to be a certain way, then we can ask ourselves why and maybe strive to achieve that.  But in the meantime, let’s just let people know who we are.  We don’t need to give our whole life story, we just need to be authentic.  It’s probably quite refreshing.

[memyselfandclive]

So true

How important is the truth to you?  We seem to be living in a world where it’s becoming increasingly unimportant. People share stuff they’ve seen online because they like it or because it backs up their way of thinking without checking it’s authenticity.  We see politicians and other leaders promising things in order to win popularity votes only to not actually deliver knowing that they won’t be held to account and there will be no consequences.  Not for them anyway.

I want the truth.  OK, it’s sometimes hard to hear but if, for instance, there was something about my character that would be really painful to hear, I’d want to hear it.  The truth is important to me.  I hate it to the point where I even hate the simulated football crowd noise being played on TV while football crowds are empty.  It’s not real.  That’s not to say that everything I watch or read has to be real and true.  I don’t watch Star Wars and ask ‘Where’s the factual evidence for this?’.   It’s clear that Star Wars is fiction.  It’s when truth and fiction get mixed together that it becomes difficult to know which bits are real and which bits are not.

I’ve recently been watching the TV series The Crown and, while completely different, it reminded me of when I watched The Damned United which was about former football manager Brian Clough.  Both are based on real events but both contain storylines that are not true and I’m not sure I can cope with this.  It’s when the two get weaved together that things become difficult to unpick.  

A week or so ago, there was a ‘Deep fake’ Queen’s Speech on TV.  You could tell it was fake and the makers made no claim that they were trying to make it anything else.  But it won’t be long until this kind of technology is duping people on a catastrophic scale spreading hatred and conspiracy theories. And if we don’t make truth a priority now, then it’s going to be so much easier to let this kind of thing slip into our culture unnoticed.

But the truth can be uncomfortable.  People don’t always like it.  Some of you might stop reading when you see the name ‘Jesus’ and maybe that’s because you don’t like the idea of religion (neither did Jesus) or maybe you just don’t want to think about it.  It might be true after all and then what impact is that going to have on you? Jesus said ‘I am the Way, the Truth and the Life’.  He said He IS the truth.  He also said that if you follow Him, you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. There are things about following Jesus that I love but there are also times when it’s so, so difficult.  I don’t follow Him because I like the idea of it. I follow Him because I believe Him to be true.  You’ll have to make your own mind up.  

But that aside, we all have to make a decision about the kind of world we want to live in.  Do we want to live in a world where truth or lies are prevalent?  And what are we going to do about it?

[memyselfandclive]

Old cars, wood and people.

People sometimes ask questions like ‘What are you passionate about?’ or ‘What gets you out of bed in the morning?’.  While I’m guilty of asking questions like that, I’ve always struggled to know the answer for myself.

This morning, I walked past a house that I often walk past in our community which has an old car on the front garden rusting away.  It’s a beautiful car and it’s been there for as long as I can remember.  I’m not into cars at all but every time I walk past it, I dream about restoring it even though I wouldn’t know where to begin.

Then I got to thinking about a coffee table that I’m planning on making out of pallets and old scaffold boards. I made a box seat last year out of similar materials.  And then I thought about the thing that I spend so much time dreaming about – having my own wood workshop with a lathe so that I could make old stumps of wood into beautiful things like vases and bowls. (I failed woodwork at school).  My guilty pleasure is watching wood turning videos on YouTube.  I know how to live!!  (You should check out some of the work by Andy Phillip). 

But it made me realise that the thing I do get excited about (and dare I say the thing I’m passionate about) is transformation.  Either restoring things or making new things out of old.  And I guess that is true of my desire for people as well.  I want to see people be the best they can.  And as a Youth Worker, my hope is that I can play some part in that.  I come across so many young people who are making bad lifestyle choices and my hope is that I can nudge them and get alongside them to help them make better lifestyle choices.  And although I don’t push it, I do see how Jesus can transform people’s lives too.  OK, there are a lot of people out there who come under the label of ‘Christian’ who you probably think THEIR lives need transforming, but chat to someone who has really met with Jesus and asked them what’s changed.

Anyway, there it is.  If anyone asks, I’m passionate about transformation.

[memyselfandclive]

What’s the problem?

Yesterday, I asked a question on Facebook:  In a single word, what do you think the biggest problem in the world today is?  

A few people said that us – people – are the biggest problem in the world today. There were other responses like injustice, corruption, greed, debt, climate change and entitlement.  There were lots of other thoughts including both religion AND Godlessness.  Someone even suggested that I was the biggest problem!  It had a winking emoji afterwards so I’m hoping it was a joke!!!!!

It made me take up writing this - my first time writing on here in 2 years - as a few things came to mind.  In particular, 3 things:  People, religion and selfishness.  So I guess I’ll go through them like Frank Skinner and decide which one I’m going to put in to Room 101.

People.  I saw something once that suggested that if a computer could be programmed to find the biggest virus on the planet, it would identify humans.  I know that we are the biggest contributor to all things wrong with the world but I guess there are 3 reasons why I’m not going to pull the lever on this one. First, I want to get to the deeper reason as to WHY humans are the biggest problem. What is it about us that is wrong?  Secondly, there is also a flipside to humankind - one of kindness, selflessness and sacrifice.  If we lose people, we lose these things too.  And thirdly, I’m a person!!!

Religion.  I kinda get this a bit but again, there is a flipside.  Actually, Jesus hated religion.  Read the gospels – He’s always having a go at the religious people.  But I don’t think this was what the person who said it had in mind.  Almost certainly an atheist, they probably see all the division and wars that have been caused by different religions fighting against each other and see that as a major problem which, of course, it is.  But again, here’s the flipside. Look at all the good that has been done in the world as a result of people responding to how they think God wants them to respond.  The work of Christian Aid, Tearfund and Compassion to name just a few.  And that’s not to belittle the works of non-religious work going on around the world.  It just points out that there are good things that come from religion whether you believe in God or not. 

And so that brings me to selfishness.  When I look at things like greed, climate change, corruption, injustice etc, I see selfishness at the heart of them.  Of course there are other factors but this seems to be right there.  Another reason it goes into Room 101 for me is because we’re ALL selfish.  All of us.  From subscribing to various entertainment packages to keep us from getting bored while tens of thousands of people literally starve to death every day right down to meeting up with people during lockdown when we’ve been told we shouldn’t.  Obviously we don’t all do these 2 things – they are just at different ends of the spectrum but it just shows that we all contribute.  We all buy mobile phones even though the poor are being exploited because the minerals needed for the screens are being mined from their communities.  But we justify it.  We can’t live without mobile phones – not in this day and age.

Anyway, they are my musings.  I’m selfish and if we got rid of selfishness, the world would be a better place and I’d be a better person.  And while writing a blog post hasn’t cured me, it has got me thinking and I think that’s where change is born.

[memyselfandclive]

Let’s talk about that Curry.....

It seems that everyone and their dog have had their say about Bishop Michael Curry’s sermon at the Royal Wedding last weekend and now the dust has settled, I’m going to have mine as well.  

Some people were just unhappy about some of the things that Bishop Curry agrees with which they don’t.  He didn’t address these things so I really don’t know what the problem is.  The likelihood is that all the people that are complaining about that don’t have exactly the same theology on all areas anyway.  

But the main things I’ve heard are that he didn’t mention the cross or sin.  The latter is not strictly true as he did but I guess it wasn’t the main thing.  One academic Tweeted that the Bishop’s message on ‘the power of love’ was a ‘bit simplistic’ and that he would do well to ‘read some Reinhold Nieburh’.  I hope I never end up going to a wedding where he’s doing the sermon!  

Many others were saying that the sermon was too long.  So, in a nutshell, people wanted an in-depth message of love accompanied by the message of sin and the cross - every box ticked - in under 10 minutes.

It saddens me how people are out to trip people up.  Especially Christians.  The best thing I read was from Sam Hailes in his article in Christianity Magazine where he said ‘…after the last Royal Wedding, the major topic of conversation in the tabloid press was Pippa Middleton’s bottom.  This time round, many of the papers printed the transcript of Bishop Michael Curry’s sermon.’

Many people watching the Royal Wedding would be people who don’t go to church because they think it’s boring.  They don’t know it’s boring because they don’t go.  They just think it is.  Years ago on a programme called Reverse Missionaries, a Malawian minister went to Scotland.  He was chatting to some lads at the local skate park. He asked one of them if they went to church and they said no.  He asked why not and they said it was because it’s boring.  He asked him if he’d ever been to church which he hadn’t.  So he asked the boy how he knew it was boring if he never went.  The answer came back ‘Because I’ve seen it on the Simpsons’.  We got a glimpse of ‘church’ on Saturday that may have shattered some of the stereotypes.

Social media was alight during and after the sermon.  If anything, the real problem was that local churches didn’t jump on it as well and tell people to get along to their churches the following day to find out more. Previously planned sermons could have been scrapped and a more topical message could have been given.  When people hear something like Bishop Curry’s talk, they can either talk about it and say ‘wasn’t it great’ or they can think ‘Wow, I want to know more’.  But if people aren’t offering them the chance for more, they’ll stick with the ‘wasn’t it great’ bit.

So I guess the question isn’t ‘Did Bishop Curry preach the right sermon?’ or ‘Should we have this guy preaching in the first place?’ but ‘How do we respond to this?’  It also begs the question, how do we communicate Jesus to others?  Do we always need to talk about sin?  Is that a helpful starting point?  Did Jesus always talk about it?

[memyselfandclive]

Celebrities asking for donations for charity….

I know there are people who have a real problem with this and, although I’m not a big fan of celebrity culture, here’s why I’m more than OK with them doing it.

First, these people are in such a position of influence that it would be almost criminal if they didn’t use it to inspire people to give.

Secondly, the fact that they are supporting a cause in this way would suggest that they are probably supporting it financially too.  I’m sure they’re not doing this instead of giving money.

Thirdly, they are doing something.  We live in quite an apathetic culture where people moan about things but don’t actually do anything about it and these people are doing something about it.  If we all did what we could with what we’ve got it would be great!

Finally, and most importantly, it’s a corporate responsibility.  If we think that the rich (or celebrities) should just pay for everything because they can, it lets the rest of us off the hook.  We all have a role to play in responding to the needs of the world and can’t expect the rich and famous to do it all for us.

I hope that for Sport Relief, people can see past the faces asking for money if it annoys them and give to the great causes they’re talking about.  I wish we (myself included) had softer hearts and more empathy and compassion. I wish I was doing more so I’m pleased to see people that are in the public eye doing more.  It sets an example and without celebrities being involved, programmes like Sport Relief and Comic Relief would be crap and then they wouldn’t raise a fraction of the money that is raised.  I’ve failed at getting involved but I’m sure that the films will move me to give and those films, in part, are possible because famous people make the shows worth watching.  I wouldn’t think many people would sit down to watch back-to-back short films about people in need.  So I applaud the celebrities doing this.  (That doesn’t mean I like you though!). 

[memyselfandclive]

Man up

I’m sometimes guilty of looking at myself in a distorted mirror.  I’m talking metaphorically.  If I looked at my physical being in an actual distorted mirror, it might actually improve my appearance!

I’m talking about how I measure how I’m doing as a man.  There are several problems I have that make me feel like I’m not man-enough.  I really struggle to get a fire going. Even a BBQ often beats me.  I’m also not particularly strong and not at all muscly, can’t go out and drink several pints, can’t handle really hot curries and can’t even grow a proper beard.  

But the thing is, while I get frustrated at having to use 3 boxes of matches and 5 litres of lighter fluid to get a BBQ going and several years of ‘I’ll just get my stubble keep growing – it might look a bit better this time’, it’s really not those sort of things that I want to be aspiring to.  I think I sometimes look in the bloke mirror rather than the man mirror. What I really want is to be someone who treats people with respect, doesn’t get angry easily, is faithful, has integrity and humility – things that are not just for men but for all people.  Some of these things I do OK at and others I don’t.  But it’s important to keep looking in the mirror to see how we’re doing. In the same way that if we didn’t look in a physical mirror for a long time, we may not notice the huge zit that’s been growing on our face or the long hair protruding from our nose or ear. So we also need to look in that metaphorical mirror and ask ‘How am I doing?’  What sort of man do I want to be?  What are the qualities of a man that I think are important and how am I going to make sure I measure up?  Maybe it’s about finding a like-minded person and having a conversation with them over several beers and a really hot curry around a camp fire and agreeing to have some accountability.  (I know I’m talking about men but the same applies to boys, girls, women and cats* too).

Michael Jackson sang ‘I’m starting with the man in the mirror.  I’m asking him to change his ways………If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make the change.’

I feel there’s a lot that needs to change about me as I’m not the man I want to be.  But the bloke mirror I glance in from time-to-time is unhelpful.

I also really hope that before my son becomes an adult, that he’s a boy and not a lad and that he grows in to a man and not a bloke.

*Debatable whether this applies to cats

[memyselfandclive]

Today

Above the desk where I work, there’s a to-do list for today.  Well, every day really.  It’s always today.  It says:

Keep it simple

Be more present

Pursue authenticity

Practice resilience

Be courageous

Have compassion

Be distinctly different

Be open to being wrong

Always hope

It’s quite a list!  Most of the things on the list I don’t do so well at.  It’s a list that I aspire to achieve each day but usually fail miserably. But this weekend, I’m going to strive to be more present at home.  It’s not that I’m rarely at home and am off gallivanting somewhere.  It’s more that I’m often physically present but not mentally present. This can be because I’m thinking about work related stuff or it could be because I’m looking at the news or Twitter or the football scores on my phone. This weekend, I am going to make a conscious effort to be physically and mentally present.  If there are things that I want to do which will mean that I miss out on making the most of the time with my family, then it’s going to have to wait.  Whether I keep my eye on the scores as they’re coming in or take a look at 7 o’clock, they will be the same.  I may miss out on some of the drama but I’ll be able to enjoy my wife and children’s company more.  I’m a much better husband and dad when I’m actually there – in all aspects of the word. In an age of business and distractions, I’d encourage everyone to deliberately be more present.

[memyselfandclive]

When croissants aren’t enough

My wife and I had the privilege of going to stay at her mum’s (her mum was away on holiday!!!!) this weekend which was our wedding anniversary weekend.  Some VERY good friends looked after our children to enable us to do it.  We had a great time.

But I was struck on Saturday morning by something.  We went to get breakfast and there was no cereal in the cupboards.  There wasn’t any bread either.  We had 4 croissants that we’d brought with us – 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday.  We could have had our 2 croissants and some fruit and that would have been plenty. But we wanted cereal.  I got in the car and did the 10 minute drive to the nearest shop and bought some cereal.  I also bought bananas, crisps and something else which escapes me.  But as I got in the car to drive back, it struck me at how privileged we are to be able to do that.  We had food.  We just wanted more.  My mind went to Malawi where people live far from a life of plenty.  It’s a country of extremes – they suffer extreme flooding and extreme drought.

Today’s news is full of how some bombs in the USA injured some people.  Don’t get me wrong, bombs, hatred, terrorism etc are never good. But why do we place different values on people’s lives depending on whether they are in the West or in Africa for instance?

Something you won’t see of the news is that 6.5 million people in Malawi are going hungry today as a result of the worst famine in 10 years.  They need the media to make people aware so that we can respond if we wish. If we don’t know about it, we won’t be able to act.

If you want to help, here’s a link here - http://www.christianaid.org.uk/emergencies/malawi-food-crisis?rmsrc=1&_$ja=tsid:64160|cid:623320492|agid:33685146640|tid:kwd-205484585800|crid:121933090840|nw:g|rnd:15818321726135260348|dvc:c|adp:1t2&gclid=CjwKEAjwmf6-BRDi9fSN7Ijt1wUSJAASawcjRDYq2nfIDC5FgWHakyNHKYaZIFHt0H0pMjoL9FTtyxoCn0Dw_wcB

There are organisations like Eagles (www.eaglesmalawi.org) in Malawi doing great work where they are not just handing out aid but are teaching people about irrigation and flood defences as well as installing water pumps and teaching people to make and use efficient ovens.  It’s the whole ‘teach a man to fish’ thing.

Anyway, I’m very grateful that I live a life of plenty and would love to encourage you to:

a) Make a donation to help bring relief in Malawi

b) Share some information on your social media pages to make people aware

c) Badger the BBC to make this news.  Yo can do that here - https://ssl.bbc.co.uk/complaints/forms/?lang=en&reset=&uid=850476257

Thanks

Clive

For the record, this is what I wrote to the BBC:

The news is full of some bombs that went off in the USA injuring a few people.  I know that's bad but the coverage of it is more than extensive.  Meanwhile, 6.5 million people are going hungry in Malawi in what is the worst drought in a decade.  I think the British public would want to respond to this but they can't if they don't know about it.  I'm sure I'll find it on the BBC news if I dig a bit, but why isn't this main news? Are American lives or even just those in the West more important than African lives?  Please make this news!  People can then decide how to respond.  We live in an age of scaremongering and fear by the media and, as a result, we have lost our compassion for humankind.  Our eyes are continually focused on ourselves and off the needs of the world around us.  As a national media organisation, you are in a position of power.  Surely with that comes a responsibility to bring help to people in the world that need it.

[memyselfandclive]

What’s your problem?

Today, I had 2 emails come in to my inbox asking me to sign petitions.  I quite like signing petitions as there are many good campaigns out there and doing something as simple as signing a petition can really make a difference believe it or not.  I signed them both.  I shared one on social media but not the other.  I’m not sure why.

 Anyhoo, the point of this is that the 2 petitions were very different.  The first one - https://action.sumofus.org/a/iphone-headphone-jack/?akid=16260.2207777.W0KQG5&rd=1&sub=fwd&t=1 - was about the new iPhone 7 not having a standard 3.5mm headphone jack which means that all current headphones will become obsolete and people will have to buy Apple’s own.  I’ve never had an iPhone and don’t intend to but I signed it because that’s ridiculous.  From a justice point of view, people will have to spend money unnecessarily just so that a fat cat organisation can become even fatter and more products will need to be made which can’t be a good thing for, for instance, the environment.

The second one - http://www.walkfree.org/help-stop-child-slavery-kenya/ - was about holidaymakers travelling to Kenya and abusing children.  I don’t even need to unpack this.

I wondered about sharing both on social media and wondered which one would more likely be read and signed. I hope I’m wrong but I figured that the iPhone one was more likely to be signed.  Why?  Because it affects people in this country directly.  There are an estimated 10 million iPhone users in the UK.  That’s a lot of people that would be affected by the change to the headphone jack should they upgrade at any stage – which I’m guessing most would.

But the child abuse situation?  Well, that would affect hardly any of us.  And here’s where the problem lies when we ask the question ‘What’s your problem?’  It’s normally something that affects us rather than (often) bigger injustices that don’t.  You could argue that something is more likely to be done about the first than the second as a result of a petition.  But what’s the alternative:  don’t do anything?  Maybe signing a petition isn’t the answer.  Maybe we should do more!

I want 2016 to be a year of making my problem things that don’t affect me but affect lots of other people.  Unfortunately, I’m a selfish person and get very caught up with myself and what’s going on for me.  But I’m going to give it a go.  Join me if you wish.

[memyselfandclive]

Blood on the hands of the media?

When are the media going to take responsibility and realise that they have blood on THEIR hands?  I referred to this in my previous post but in the light of today and other recent events, it highlights that things need addressing.

A quote today from the named and now infamous killer of several people in Oregon yesterday talks about the guy who killed 2 people at the TV station he worked for last month.  He said of him:  “On an interesting note, I have noticed that so many people like him are all alone and unknown, yet when they spill a little blood, the whole world knows who they are.

"A man who was known by no one, is now known by everyone."

He continued: "His face splashed across every screen, his name across the lips of every person on the planet, all in the course of one day. Seems the more people you kill, the more you're in the limelight."

Likewise, earlier this year, a teenager was found with a hammer and a knife and was on his way to behead a soldier.  He was said to have idolised the killers of Lee Rigby and said of one of them that he loved him and had handed out leaflets of him.

The string of suicides in Bridgend that started in 2007 also got far too much media attention and I'm convinced that people who were feeling rotten about themselves saw this media coverage as a way of getting people to know about them.  I know that’s a more tricky situation as you don’t want to ignore such tragic situations.

I'm aware that in the age of the internet, you’re never going to be able to get people to agree not to share the names of killers.  But the big corporations need to stop doing it. There needs to be some kind of agreement that they sign up to that doesn't put killers on a pedestal for people to idolise and copy.  We need to refer to them simply as a man or a woman and then concentrate on the victims rather than turning it in to a ‘This is your life’ for the killer.  There are people in this world that would find that sort of attention and infamy very appealing.  And the quotes mentioned off the back of yesterday’s killings back that up.

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[memyselfandclive]

C******* and J***** J***

OK, so the names are actually Clarkson and Jihadi John.  But I didn’t want to give them any more publicity than they already get – the British media are well on the case in making sure that happens.  Clarkson had a bit of a spoilt brat moment over getting cold food when he wanted hot and lashed out about it and got himself in to a spot of bother.  Bless him. But his face was then plastered over every British national newspaper the following day with the exception of the FT and the Guardian.  Well done guys.  The TV coverage was pretty big too and even David Cameron was talking about it on TV. These things are really not going to help his already over-inflated ego.  And then there’s Jihadi John.  He seemed to be all over the papers and the TV news for days and days; what he was like at school, what kind of employee he was.  If I didn’t know better, I’d think that the British media were quite proud that this ‘face’ of IS was British.  

But it does highlight a problem.  A problem that cannot be easily solved in an internet age.  But even in an age without the World Wide Web, it probably wouldn’t change anyway because the media have a right – right?  They have a responsibility as well but that doesn’t seem too important.  They have rights.  They have a right to put the faces of whoever they want in their newspapers and on their TV broadcasts.

But what if they didn’t? What if people who did bad things didn’t get the coverage?  What if a guy walks in to a bar and shoots some people, and instead of putting his picture and name on the covers and telling us about his life, they put the faces of the victims on the news and just say that a 22 year old male (or whatever) did it and not give him any recognition.  It just concerns me that there are people out there who may be mentally unstable or on the verge of a breakdown or……..well, all sorts of things really.  And they look at the news and they think ‘Hey.  That guy’s getting a lot of attention.  He’s all over the news.  Everyone knows that face and that name now.  He’s famous.’.  Who knows how people in that state might respond to such large scale media coverage. I’m aware that I could be way off here – I’m no psychologist.  

So why not use the power the media have to promote inspirational people.  There are plenty of them out there.  When people see and hear about people who are doing amazing things, they might just want to imitate them instead of others who are not doing such good things.  But the media really could use the vehicle that they have to promote positivity rather than negativity.  I know that ‘good news doesn’t sell’ and I’m up for knowing all the bad stuff that’s going on in the world.  In fact, I’d rather hear about what’s going on with Ebola, for instance (without a westerner contracting it to bring it to our attention again) rather than read about Clarkson.  But we could still use positivity to drive our media.  For every bad thing that goes on, there’s usually a good response somewhere. Let’s run with those headlines and ignore the people that are spoiling our world.  Rant over.

[memyselfandclive]

Excited and anxious

4 weeks today, I’ll be flying out of the UK to Malawi – one of the poorest and least-developed countries in the world.  I’ll be heading up a group of people taking 7 young people from our local community to get involved with a street kids project and a school for AIDS orphans as well as visiting an orphanage and a relief and development agency that works in the most rural parts of the country.  I’ve done it before.  But I’m slightly anxious.

There are lots of things to be anxious about.  When you take a group of young people away and spend 2 weeks together intensely away from their homes, loved ones, cigarettes, alcohol etc, it’s going to throw up tensions.  But we’ll deal with that.  You’re also always aware that safety and good health are not what you would normally expect when you’re at home, although there’s no massive danger to our safety or health as long as we’re careful.  My main cause of anxiety is about change – or the potential lack of it.

As a Youth Worker, you always have hope that things can change in people’s lives.  That their current situation doesn’t have to remain that way if they don’t want it to.  And this trip is potentially a catalyst for change.  We could go out there and it could really impact people’s lives and they could come back with a completely different outlook on life and it could change the course of their life.  That’s the hope.  But it doesn’t always happen.  As I said in my previous post (a year ago!!) I don’t feel that my previous trips have had the desired effect on myself that I would have liked them to have had, let alone other people.  Maybe I was at a different starting point to the guys we’re taking out.  Maybe because of the responsibility of the trip, I’m too fixed on making sure things are OK.  Maybe it’s that I come back and have to very quickly get back in to life with a family that haven’t been out there and experienced what I have.  Maybe I’m just hard.  That’s what I’m anxious about.  Anxious that myself and the young people will come back with our photos, our stories of ‘When I was in Africa…’, but no real change.  As I say, I do have hope and I’ll cling to that.  I’ve also learnt a lot from the last trip and we’ll hopefully do things better this time when we’re there and when we’re back. But I hope that in years to come, the best thing to come out of this trip is a fancy video with lots of quality tunes on it.  Although that will happen.

[memyselfandclive]

Malawi +365

In the early hours of this morning, I took a friend to the airport and, driving home, was reflecting back on one year ago today when myself and 9 others were heading to the airport ourselves to go on a trip to Malawi.

It saw 9 months of meticulous planning coming to fruition.  Everything was planned down to the finest detail – although it turned out that I should have done a risk assessment! Who knew?!!

But here I am a year on feeling very emotional about it all.  I’m feeling that way for 3 reasons: 

First of all, I want to be back there.  During our time there, I met the most inspiring people I’ve ever met.  People who are world-changers.  People like Mac, Marie, Neville and Jimmy to name but a few.  They may not be changing THE world but they are without doubt changing people’s worlds.  But even other people – young and old – who are just living out there, were also very inspiring.  Their attitude put us all to shame.  Malawi is a country full of poverty and the fall-out from it but they are a people that I was very jealous of even though I wouldn’t want to swap places with them.

I guess another reason I'd like to go back is that I'd like to take more young people out there.  I'd also like to do it better than last time.  There are many things I can learn from the last trip – not things that I regret but things that could be done better.

But my second reason for feeling the way I'm feeling is the apparent lack of impact the trip has had.  I'm sure it impacted all of us in different ways.  We’ve certainly noticed a change in some of the young people from time-to-time.  But despite what I said in my first reason, I feel that the trip hasn’t actually impacted my life enough.  This is probably the thing that makes me most sad.  It may be because of my agenda and responsibility.  The first trip was a recce and I was there to think about what we could do the following year.  The second trip was one where I had responsibility for 9 people and I was very aware of that the whole time.  So it may have been that.  However, it may be that I'm so caught up in my own little world that it’s very difficult for things to impact me.  Sure I get choked up about stuff but does it actually manifest itself in to change in my life?  I'm not sure.

Finally, where has this year gone?  It seems crazy that we were on our way this time last year.  It seems like it was 4 months ago tops.  Why and how does time go so fast?  I think back over the last year – the things I’ve done like holidays, birthday and Christmas presents, buying a car and all the food I’ve eaten……..I could go on.  And then I think about people like 10 year old Chris (now 11 obviously) – just one of hundreds of children we met out there.  We visited his home.  A small shell.  In it was his mother who was suffering with Malaria when we visited.  His father had died of AIDS.  The maths say that his mother is probably HIV positive as well.  I don’t know about Chris.  I hope to God he isn’t.  But it’s a different world.  As my life has gained ‘stuff’ that makes my life more comfortable, their life has probably remained the same at best - living with their close neighbours of disease, poverty, corruption and death.  But in the midst of this there is love.  Those people I mentioned earlier – Mac, Jimmy, Neville and, in Chris’ case Marie – are caring for the most vulnerable people in Malawi and they are bringing them hope.  You can see hope in their eyes and in their smiles and in their attitudes.  Their lives are significantly better because of these selfless people.  Contrast this with a society that I am more familiar with – one of grumbling, wanting more than we need, fear and cynicism.  OK, that’s not all our society is, there are much more positive attributes but that’s the contrast.  Those things are definitely rife.

My hope is that I'll go back again and that I'll have a different approach.  To have a trip that’s more for me.  (There’s that selfishness).  But I want to be impacted.  There’s so much to learn from the people of Malawi and rather than having an attitude of going over there to change their lives, I think we should be going over there to allow them to change ours. 

[memyselfandclive]

Help! I’m an activist. Get me out of here!

So that title isn’t me talking.  It’s the activist inside of me that appears to be trapped.  What’s stopping it getting out?  Probably a bit of fear and a bit of apathy.  I do get angry (and I use that word quite loosely) at injustice – human trafficking, slavery, poverty etc.  In my head, I’m campaigning and standing up against injustice.  But for some reason, I don’t very often actually do it.  I make myself feel better by signing  a petition at Avaaz when it comes through.  I’m sure that when I hear about stories of injustice it really tugs at my heart strings.  But if I’m honest, I’ve got more angry in the last week about One Direction miming at the Olympic Closing Ceremony and my pizza not cooking properly than I have about the fact that there are 27 million slaves in the world today.

I don’t know exactly what drives the fear inside of me.  Maybe I think it will mean that I have to go off and fight drug barons in Columbia and take my family with me.  If I’m completely honest, even moving to inner city London, Birmingham or Manchester – places where there appears to be more poverty and injustice - doesn’t thrill me.  But I know that it doesn’t necessarily involve this.  And as well as the fear, there’s apathy as well. 

I sometimes get fed up with some of the young people that I work with because they can be so apathetic.  But in reality, so am I.  I know a lot of the issues, but how active am I in responding to them?  I believe that everyone in society is concerned about injustice.  As long as it affects them.  We get angry about tax increases, when we can’t get a refund and when people in cars don’t wave at us to say thank you when we’ve let them go.  As for me, I probably blame business as well – you know, that badge of honour we’ve come to wear with pride.  ‘Surely if I start getting involved in tackling these issues, one of the other super-important areas of my life will have to give’.  I’m not that busy. 

Well, I’ve started to work through this.  At a youth event last week, a guy was talking about slavery and trafficking and he said ‘Not on my watch’.  Myself and a whole load of the young people we were with made a response that night to make a stand.  We’re going to work together to make sure that none of us sit on this.  We’re going to get active!!  But I do sometimes question how much I am passionate about this issue and how much of it is just me trying to make myself feel good about getting active.  I also wonder whether it’s simply because I know that God is passionate about justice and therefore  I should as well.  I hope it’s not just that.  I hope I really do care.