meowcleomeow

[meowcleomeow]

12/18/2022

I was laid off while I was out of the country. Then, they found out I was not in the US and forced me to resign immediately. But that's fine, I had found a higher paying job already and start on 2/6. However I am trying to see if there's a job for me in HK.

Cleo passed earlier this year on 4/27... I miss her a lot. However, while I've been out of the country, we apparently got a new kitty that was 5 months old! Mommy named him Toby!

I finally caught COVID. Aaron caught it on the plane to India, and then I caught it from him in India. Now I'm sick again with the flu in Hong Kong.

I finally reconnected with Dexter. It seems like he's moved on, and I am so happy for him. It was disappointing when we met up and we also just didn't click as automatically as before, but I guess that's what happens after 7 years of avoiding each other. We just aren't the same people anymore. I'm hoping a genuine friendship comes out of this. It's mildly awkward.

[meowcleomeow]

1/10/2022

It's been 1.5 years since I've written anything here. I typically journal in my notebook, but I don't know where it is right now.

I got promoted to Customer Implementation Manager on the Sales Team. COVID is still a thing; it's the Omicron surge right now. Even though it has gotten a lot better than before, my job is preventing me from having a normal work-life balance. I can't escape COVID. It's all I think about for work, and I can't escape work in my personal life because the pandemic is still here. I don't have hobbies anymore because of the pandemic and start up life. Many of my colleagues have stated that they have never worked for a company as grueling as this. My mental health has taken a hit. I am so blessed to be treated well at this company but I don't know how long I can last if I dont actively find some balance soon.

Aaron also has pointed out that when I'm down, I try to pick fights to being others down with me. I didn't really realize that...so I'll work on it...

It is strange to hope that the pandemic ends so I can live a normal life again, but at the same time the pandemic is fueling my livelihood...

I have made some great friends at work! But not being able to really see my normal friends is difficult.

[meowcleomeow]

7/5/20 Part 2

On the plus side, I moved home and got a new job as a Project Manager for a biodevice startup. What a big FUCK YOU to Brenda.

[meowcleomeow]

7/5/20

I was eating dinner silently and my mind wandered to Alex’s Disaster Date episode. I brought it up to Aaron and I was wondering if he’d choose to do it too, following the same path as Alex. He then retorted that I wasn’t over him since I bring him up a lot. I was taken quite aback. It’s true I’m still upsets if I think really far back, but I’m usually upset with how he treated me/how I let him treat me and how everyone else viewed me. Aaron said they’re related and I honestly don’t think so. He kept saying that I am emotional when I think back to Alex, but honestly I don’t think that’s the case. I tried to get him to understand from my view and Aaron shuts me down and says he doesn’t want to talk about it. I am sorry? You’re the one that kind of offended me. Every person is different. I agree neutrality means you’re over him. Believe me when I say I am over Alex; it is only when I think back to how hurt I was and everything he did to get me to that point is frustrating. Aaron should’ve recognized that everyone process things differently. I am offended by his response, and he brushed it off because HE doesn’t want to talk about it.

[meowcleomeow]

12/11/19

I admit I don’t think I was able to feel worse than I had been. This feeling has yet to pass and it has been 6 days. My manager would prefer to promote the girl I’ve trained and had just gotten her bachelor’s in June and has only been with the company for 3 months. I’ve been trying to get this promotion for 1.5 years. It sucks to not even have an acknowledgement of potential.

[meowcleomeow]

3/8/19

Mental health is important. I sometimes forget that. I feel very alone. Could be due to stress. No one seems to understand nor want to understand.

[meowcleomeow]

I dreamt of an ex last night.

It’s been 7 years since we ended. He last contacted me back in November, and that was the only time all year. So why did I dream of him last night? Nothing in particular happened.. there was no flirtation, no eye contact.. just my glimpsing at him every so often trying to see if he’s looking at me. I felt the need to impress him and make him want me, but I had no romantic feelings for him. Is this what I want? I never really got the closure I needed and I still have not forgiven him. I’m assuming that is why. But I haven’t thought of him in ages. When I woke up, I couldn’t shake the pit feeling in my chest. I feel guilty dreaming about him even though the dream was uneventful. Why am I dreaming about him? Stress from school and work? Unhappiness because of a professor? Grades? New boss at work?

Most likely all of the above. I wonder if he dreams about me too.

2/24/19

[meowcleomeow]

Sometimes...

I wonder what if we stayed together? Would I be the same? Would you? How would my life look like? Would I like myself? Have you ever thought about me on our anniversary? Fyi, it would've been over 8 years now. Remember you used to say you wanted a family with me? Except I could never picture it with you. Maybe because I was too young? (Or wiser than I gave myself credit for...)

I'll cherish the [good] memories and try to forget the rest. I hope you're well.

10/2/18

[meowcleomeow]

Paris, France

[meowcleomeow]

Amsterdam, The Netherlands