meowmacpasta

[meowmacpasta]

It’s the same name “bowloart” :3 just attached it to a diff account so hopefully I’m all good now

So I may have to make another account AGAIN because my current tumblr account has a curse that has befallen it and I am not getting a help response,,, so I will probably be doing that,,, I will post the new account here once I’m done and I’m sorry I have to move again 🥲 it just seems easier than dealing with not being able to message or reply on this one and not getting help with it

[meowmacpasta]

So I may have to make another account AGAIN because my current tumblr account has a curse that has befallen it and I am not getting a help response,,, so I will probably be doing that,,, I will post the new account here once I’m done and I’m sorry I have to move again 🥲 it just seems easier than dealing with not being able to message or reply on this one and not getting help with it

[meowmacpasta]

I found a Gortash simp meme group that I was going to join but one of the rules was “no calling Gortash dirty” and I’m sorry but I just can’t. He’s my smelly greasy tired raccoon man, he’s evil, and I love him. If we can’t simp for him in all his ugly-hot tyrannical oily emo haired bullshit, then we can’t simp together.

[meowmacpasta]

Pov: all of your colleagues want you dead (sound)

[meowmacpasta]

I NEED THAT MAN LOOKING LORE ACCURATE!!!!!!! 🗣️

(Recovering from his messy divorce, childhood trauma, and a master at the art of hate)

Everytime someone draws Gortash as a skinny pale anime twink with no wrinkles or jowls an angel burns in hell

[meowmacpasta]

author’s notes today: hey guys so just a warning there isn’t 100% explicit verbal consent even though they’re both really into it so remember this is FICTION, also they don’t use a condom :((( but in real life safe sex is important!!! please be safe out there everyone

a/n back in the day: kept thinking about ____ stabbing knives through both of _____’s hands to pin him in place while they fucked so here you go lol =P

[meowmacpasta]

This is so incredibly real it is painful, I just know Astarion looks between Durge and Gort during the coronation and goes How DID they end up with the magnificent creature of terror and blood???

Working on something :)

[meowmacpasta]

I feel like being a bystander at a Durgetash Christmas would be both traumatizing and hysterical.

Durge unwraps a bonesaw, and they're so happy they could cry.

Gortash unwraps a muzzle, and he holds it to his chest saying "it's perfect."

Durge opens another present - it's some miniscule torture weapon that was discontinued in 437ad because it was too inhumane, they're actively sobbing.

Gortash peels away the wrapping on another box- it's a box set of mechanical tools all engraved with fucked up murals of slavery and killing Raphael. He hugs Durge so hard there's a pop.

And then there's you, in the corner wondering where the closest exit is.

[meowmacpasta]

They're the same archetype.

Reasons:

Older man.

Messy.

Rich.

Title they don't deserve.

Mercenary jobs in the past.

Made deals with devil-like creatures.

Pretends to be cool.

Just needs little kisses.

Gold armour or arms.

[meowmacpasta]

I wonder how Gortash would react if he knew Raphael had been stalking Durge and trying to get them to make a deal with him

[meowmacpasta]

Vampire bats use feeding eachother blood by regurgitating it(or ‘a horrifying french kiss’) as a way to establish friendships and strengthen social bonds

All I’m saying is Astarion and Crowrot

A vampire and his bhaalspawn sharing a bit of blood and viscera through a kiss

[meowmacpasta]

Lets goooooo th is Is disgusting and obscene . Fuckkkk yessssss . Absolutely horrendous

[meowmacpasta]

Guess who’s being remade since his last save file was corrupted

[meowmacpasta]

Just watched the movie “Red One” and holy shit

GARCIA‼️‼️‼️

[meowmacpasta]

Precious Bhaal Babe

[meowmacpasta]

My account is simply cursed until I get a fix response, I am so sorry @monsterlimbs 😭

It’s why I’m on Bluesky talking bc my account actually functions there

[meowmacpasta]

Crowrot paints portraits of Astarion to the best of his ability and gifts them to him as a chance for Astarion to be able to see himself the way Crowrot sees him

He is so in love with Astarion it makes him overwhelmed