meowsticmarvels

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girls love him for his poor posture and pathetic demeanor

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finished steins;gate recently (the visual novel) and one theme that really stuck with me is the themes of changing and rebelling against fate. in the alpha attractor field, mayuri's death is a constant. okabe fights and fights and fights endlessly just for a chance at saving mayuri - even though as he says it, it's like the universe itself wants her dead. it comes across to me like a sort of narrative thing, in a way - the narrative declares that mayuri must die, but okabe fights against the will of the universe and of the narrative itself to change fate. even if it tears him apart. even if seeing her die so so many times breaks him. but then there's kurisu. he has to choose between one or the other - he can't get both to live. the narrative demands one must die, and even the power of a god cannot change that. but in the time where things go right, he finds a way - finding loopholes and ways to manipulate what's predetermined is the only way to reach steins gate. to rebel against the narrative itself

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#365 Walrein

buy stickers, commission a pokemon, or support me on kofi!

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got tags on a previous post asking if I'd do more characters in my style, and I'm very easy to sway

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I cannot tell you what compelled me to draw this

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kurisu

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My sillys

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drawing the cast as their zodiac animals

might do the others later

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battered and bruised

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crybaby

(Blood warning under the cut)

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peak deltarune moment

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i hope theyre friends forever. ....

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YEASS OKAY elaborating in response to @bluebelledmoon (tagging in case responding to your rb doesnt work idk) about phi's disregard of her own life. ive made a few posts on here about it under the #phiposting tag and am in the process of writing a lengthy analysis essay on it but i realize i mostly talk abt phi on twt so. Yeah . Here are some of my thoughts

in vlr Phi isn't really that self sacrificing - in K end shes got "I don't want to live if it means being in debt to you" and obviously her suicide due to radical-6 but that's about it and one of those is influenced by rad6. in zero time dilemma though, she's MUCH more self sacrificing to the point of disregarding or ignoring the fact that she'll die in some ends and prioritizing the safety of sigma and diana. why she becomes like this i'm not sure, though a multitude of reasons are possible to me (personally I think either the revelation of becoming a shifter = death does not mean as much, her intense care for sigma and diana, a result of trauma from VLR, or a mix of these/something else but its worth noting because she has a generally Interesting perception of herself and is known to be insecure to a degree)

some noteworthy examples of this in ZTD:

in Execution: D - in all of the Execution fragments all the characters (and i mean all of them not just the others in D-Team) have a moment where they freak out about the deaths and try to take their collars off. EXCEPT phi, she barely reacts other than telling sigma to jump

I talked a bit about Fire here but phi's INCREDIBLY self sacrificing here and constantly deflects on that she'll die and begs diana to save sigma instead. in shoot: blank she argues with sigma for a while about how "the ends don't justify the means" and how it wasn't worth risking sigma's life to save hers. in shoot: live in the middle of her breakdown she outright says she "didn't matter at all". don't shoot is the only outcome she's satisfied with, but that's where she DIES

in Suppression as she's dying and Diana's about to lose her, Phi says that it's okay as long as diana survives

it's understandable in Outbreak why she'd try to sacrifice herself to stop the spread of rad6 but she's so.... intense with it. the moment shes injected she runs off (...probably to kill herself so nobody else has to before the cave in but I'm not entirely sure there) and she basically BEGS diana to kill her with such intensity and trying to rush her to get it done and over with that its just like.... it's ceazy

thats the gist of it i think... phi as a character is so so interesting to me but it is CRAZY to me how little she regards her own life in ztd like girl we are going to get you a therapist #WhatTheFuck

ive probably made a billion posts about this fragment mostly but i don't think I'll ever be able to get over Fire as a fragment in ztd. it's one of my favorites for a reason. the insane cruelty of it all is immense - even worse taking into consideration D-Team + Delta's relations to eachother. it's immensely cruel and every route offers something fascinating to me + the dynamics between the team members is also Really really good here. Phi as someone who barely acknowledges the fact that she'll die - advocating for that option, even, only being happy in the route where she does. Sigma as someone who desperately wants to do anything to save Phi after everything even if that means his life is risked. Diana as someone forced to participate in an insanely cruel trolley problem - what choice is she supposed to make? Is she doomed to let Phi die, or to take a chance and risk Sigma's life? Can she bear the burden of guilt either way?

and then on the branches themselves. Shoot: Blank is the lightest of the three but it intrigues me on phi's disregard of her own life + care for sigma's life being risked, distrust of others (specifically carlos), and her insecurity over her appearance (...not to shoehorn my headcanoning of phi as trans but its true to me here). Don't Shoot is insanely tragic in how phi resigns herself to death and sigma and diana's pain over her death of course, but what makes it especially impactful for me is the flashback with phi and diana at dcom. phi's vulnerability in that moment for someone so closed off and diana's affection for someone she barely knows is sonso heartbreaking to me it destroys me to watch. and then probably the most devastating in my opinion is the dreaded Shoot: Live. it's a genuinely horrific nightmare of a situation; sigma dies to the gun's blast. phi's absolute breakdown (especially when shes known to be someone much more emotionally closed off) in grief just crying and then screaming at the end after diana's suicide out of guilt is insanely heartbreaking ill never recover from it.

not entirely sure what to make of this post but i just wanted to gush about Fire as a fragment because. it's so so good and deeply tragic and fascinating to me. also can you tell i like phi