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I miss you. You would have been over 6 months old now. And here I am - switching jobs, buying a bike, shedding the old me and slowly embracing the future.

I send my love on the mist from the morning dew. Give our ginger love the best chin scratches.

I hope to see you all again sometime. And i wish for one more, never ending, hug. 🩶

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You M., I miss deeply.

To You A., I am looking forward.

You M., I will love forever.

And You A., I love already.

You are both different.

Both unique.

Both irreplaceable to me.

I love you. Both. M.

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I miss you my baby boy, I miss you deeply.

I wonder what music would you like me to play on our trips to see the horses. I wonder if you would even like to see horses, or if you would prefer to go see some airplanes, or a movie…

I wonder what you would look like in your thirties, what partner you would choose to spend your life with…

I wonder if I would do a good job raising you.

And I am going to wonder for the rest of my life…

I miss you, M.

xo, mom

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Losing a child is the most painful and transforming experience I ever had to go through.

Tomorrow, You would be 24 weeks. It has been six days, since we parted and God knows I am trying to be strong, but oh, these mornings…

And the evenings… when my grief covers me from head to toe like a weighted blanket. When I feel suffocated by the pain.

You know how strong your Mother is. You know how I can handle pain.

But I cannot even fathom, how much pain You would have to live in. And I am really grateful for the option to take Your pain on me.

I am really grateful and proud to even become a Mother to child as powerful as You are. What you accomplished during those five short months You spent down here in our lives is incomprehensible, even for me. You unknowingly gave me strenght which I didn’t even know I had.

Thank You, my deeply beloved son. I hope we will meet again. 🤍

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I am so sorry, baby girl.

I feel like I have failed you.

I should be leading you through this hellhole.

Instead I am drowning in it.

Once again.

Let me be alone.

Let me breathe.

Let me spread my wings.

Give me my freedom back.

Poor girl.

I love you, and I’m so, so sorry.

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…and the most hurtful thing is, that you probably do not miss me at all.

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You.

I remember you writing something like wanting to see me walk down the aisle in my white dress.

I am engaged now.

The hurt kitten in me still wishes for you to show up and scream: “wait..!”

But I was never worth it. Not for you at least.

Missing you, forever. Farewell, love.

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It is all good now.

My heart isnt racing when i see you anymore.

Even tho i still care about you, i am happy to be where i am now.

But i hope to grab a beer with u someday.

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Fakt me těší že me vnimas jen jako poslední sex hah

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It gets better, day by day.

But id like having you in my life better than this.

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You tweeting about going through something similar to what you did to me is giving me closure. Thank you.

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I am still thinking of you.

Sitting in a car, riding the road leading to you, listening to Halseys you should be sad.

Dont you ever say no one has ever cared about you.

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třistatřicettřipuntíků

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You still owe me. Still owe me the last meal you promised. I dont know how to get truly over you. Its been eleven years, and i still miss you.

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Did you even remember, or was it just another ordinary day for you…?

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It would have been a year now. Why do I keep missing you. I hate it.

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Please end me