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[merrymerielle]

Blue is the Eye | Self-Para

word count: 2,034

TW: violence, death, drowning

As soon as the news reached her, of intruders, of intruders in Four. She didn't give it a second thought.

Merielle didn't seek permission, or let anyone know that she was going, she was simply gone one morning, having found the easiest and fastest way to go home. The Vox wouldn't have cared, they were stretched thin as it was, and it was a sick sort of satisfaction that came with feeling truly free - a force unto herself.

The arrival into the south of the district, and the first sight of the ocean, made her feel dizzy for a moment and almost sent her running back to the Capitol, but she willed herself to keep moving forward.

The walk home had been lonely, though people had recognised her they'd left her to herself, pausing to gawk before they began their gossiping. She didn't mind, even understood, she hadn't been home since her Victory tour. Now that she was back she could see smoke, off in the distance, the northern part of the district, billowing in thick clouds. It only strengthened her resolve, outweighing what would have been paralysing fear and replacing it with venomous adrenaline.

Eventually she arrived at her childhood home, both familiar and alien at the same time, as if time had both stood still and moved on without her. She didn't knock, she knew she was welcome, and that it would be a short visit.

It took approximately 20 seconds before she was swarmed by her family, children and adults alike reaching for her, and her trying to hold each one of them at the same time. Eventually the woman she called 'mom' for so long, Maria Sands, parted the crowd to stare at her, nodding slightly with a smile. She raised her hands to sign but before she could Merielle lifted her own.

Where's dad?

Silence. No one spoke or moved. She looked around the small room again, making a mental tally of everyone present - Pearl, Talia, Cove, Coral, Marina, Caspian, Kai--

Where is Sebastian? Marisol?

Pearl signed first, they went north to fight the invaders. they wouldn't let me go with them, that's why you're here, right? to fight?

Merielle's blood ran cold and she could feel the blood rushing in her ears.

Before she could ask anything Pearl signed again, let me go with you, I can help, I can-

Reflexively Merielle reached out and grabbed Pearls hands, stopping her from signing.

"I can help." the fourteen year old whispered, trying to pull her hands away from Merielle's vice-like grip.

"don't you dare. I will not have you putting yourself in unnecessary danger for some idea of greatness."

"but you--"

"I had no choice." She hissed, clenching her jaw for a moment, "if you really want to help you will stay here." Merielle let go of Pearl's hands and shook her head for a moment.

She looked around at everyone in the room, half of them had heard every word and the others were being filled in by a flurry of hands. She flexed her hands for a moment, you will all stay here, this is not negotiable. you will wait until I get back with dad, Marisol, and Sebastian. while you are waiting you will pack.

Her green eyes spotted the movement of young hands, about to argue or question, but she fixed Cove with a look that would have withered grown adults, so it was no surprise that it worked as effectively on the 16 year old.

you will pack, because we will be leaving. I have room in the Capitol for us all, and once it is safe to return home, you will be free to. Do you understand?

Resignation, slow nods, and a few silent tears.

Cove lifted her hands again, will we be able to come home?

Merielle looked from Cove, to Maria - who simply nodded, and back again. of course. not a lie, not the truth, the unknown. but I have to go, I'll come back for you all, okay? But you need to be ready to go.

Once she was sure that everyone had agreed, she began to prepare herself. She'd travelled with a trident and a dagger, the latter she strapped to her thigh, and the trident she attached to her back. A pile was made of her bag and her jacket, by the door, ready for when she came back.

As soon as she was ready she felt a hand on her shoulder so she turned. Maria was stood behind her, dark brown hair now speckled with gray, and her face warm and aged by the sun, and Merielle knew that she would have asked her to stay if she thought that would work.

Instead, Maria dipped her thumb into a pot in her free hand, and smeared the pigment across Merielle's cheeks. Nothing was said, or signed, but there was an understanding. Merielle knew that when she joined the fray there would be at least three other people, hopefully still alive, with the same markings she now bore.

When she left she didn’t look back, she knew that they were watching her, and they didn’t need to see her cry.

She walked north for an hour, keeping the ocean to her left and following the billowing smoke. People hurried past her in the opposite direction, trying to escape while they could with whatever they could carry - clothes, children, cherished belongings. Some paused when they saw her, she was used to being recognised as a victor but these were people she should have known, should have come home to sooner, yet they held no judgement and simply nodded at her in understanding as they passed.

It didn’t take much longer to reach the band of fighters. A mixture of rebels, fishermen, and Vox soldiers all reunited against a common cause.

Thankfully her family were easy to find, though the reunion was short lived as she was quickly informed of the plan.

They knew where the invaders had made it to, it was their fires Merielle could now see in the distance, and the plan was to at least cut them off using Sea Fire.

If she’d been nervous about stepping foot on a boat and being out at sea again, that was replaced entirely. Sea Fire was not something she’d seen in action, it was usually used by fishermen out at sea to signal for help or to light the way home - water wouldn’t put it out.

She stuck close to her family, silently making their way towards the ocean, the sound of water lapping at the shore had once been the focal point of her nightmares and now it might definitely lead to her death.

Merielle hadn’t realised she had stopped moving until she felt a hand on hers, Devere - her dad for all intents and purposes - was with her no matter what. They didn’t say anything but she nodded and squeezed his hand before wading into the ocean with him, only letting go so that they could swim out to their boat.

SIlence surrounded them as the boats cut through the water, slowly leaving trails of Sea Fire oil behind them, close enough to the shore to have an impact, not close enough to be noticed immediately.

When the camps came into view, a couple of boats continued on but Merielle’s had stopped. The Sands and Drake families were all together, all painted by their loved ones in patterns specific to their families, and began to ready themselves. Tridents, ropes, daggers, and the younger Drake sister even had a blowgun with darts.

Minutes passed in silence, awaiting the cue from the furthest boat, and when that shout finally came to alert the encampment that had set up, nothing happened for a few more moments.

Movement.

Swarms of people moving towards the water, jumping in and swimming out to the boat, armed and ready to fight. From what she had heard, these people revelled in battle and thrived in the bloodshed, if they only removed a few from the equation that would surely help, right?

It was a tense minute as they waited, watched them swim closer and closer, and then matches were lit, boat by boat. Marisol held theirs, out over the edge, and as soon as the intruders were close enough the matches were dropped.

The screams were horrendous, and would have been deafening, but the roar of the flames and the sight of the ocean on fire was the sensation that would remain with Merielle.

As planned, the boats began to move, heading back to safety as their enemies burned and drowned. Weapons remained readied, no one dared to think that this would be so easy. The moment a hand grasped onto the side of their boat Sebastian speared the intruder with deadly accuracy and kicked them away, but there were more that followed.

Some were still burning but pursuing as if possessed.

Luckily, everyone was prepared for a fight. Darts whizzed past Merielle’s head with terrifying accuracy, and she could hear the crunch of bone on bone as her dad fought another, eventually kicking them into the briny depths.

Merielle ended up taking a dagger to the ribs, but she’d dealt with worse and with her trident was more than happy to pin her attacker to the deck as they flailed like a fish. They were up against formidable fighters but thankfully the numbers were thinning, and for every blow that one of them took they dispatched an intruder.

By the time the water stilled, she was bleeding from countless cuts, her body already aching with the bruises to come. But there were no more attackers in sight. She barely had a moment to breathe when a shout rang out behind her.

She spun, dagger at the ready.

An intruder stood on the deck, half-burned and still smoldering, holding Devere like a shield. One dagger was already buried deep in his side; the other pressed against his throat.

Time stretched painfully. What was likely only seconds felt like an eternity.

She couldn’t lose him. Not like this. What would they tell the younger children? Maria? 

There was no way out for the intruder, no escape that would let him leave alive.

Merielle locked eyes with her father. He nodded.

Her heart pounded, but her hands didn’t waver. She could barely see half of the intruder’s face, but she didn’t need more. She had trained for this moment. Sure, she was better with a trident, but her aim was still sharp. She hurled the dagger.

It struck the intruder’s eye with a sickening thud. He staggered back, losing his balance as he toppled over the side of the boat, dragging Devere with him.

Merielle ran, ignoring the pain in her side. She slipped past Marisol’s outstretched hand, leaped past Sebastian who reached for their father, but it was all in slow motion, every second stretching on as Devere fell into the water.

She dove, desperate to save him before the darkness swallowed him whole.

The leap.

The dive.

The slice of sharp metal across skin as a final action..

The bloom of red.

The cold water.

Frigid water engulfed her, but she kept swimming down, her chest burning with denial. She couldn’t have just seen her father die. She couldn’t accept it. If she could reach him—if she could change something, trade places, do anything—it wouldn’t be too late.

Saltwater flooded her mouth, the weight of it pulling her deeper into darkness.

---

When she woke several days later, déjà vu rolled over her like nausea. The sterile white walls, the faint hum of Capitol machinery, familiar in a way that did not bring comfort.

But this time, there was no glamorous cosmetic surgery, no erasing the damage inflicted upon her a week ago. Her scars would heal in time. Her voice would come back. But her father wouldn’t.

A nurse handed her a letter. Her family had written to say they were staying in District 4 for now. Marisol and Sebastian had enlisted, desperate to avoid the Reaping at all costs.

The Games had returned, and Merielle had woken up in a Capitol hospital after nearly drowning—again.

[merrymerielle]

With a smile Merielle handed the can to the child on her hip after reading the instructions, and asked them to start shaking it - though she did flinch slightly at the loud rattling that followed, the laughter was worth it though.

She watched for a moment as everyone either chose a colour or stuck close by to the other person that had chosen their same favourite colour, before raising an eyebrow at Enna, "Okay then, artiste extraordinaire, where do we begin? We are at your service."

The excitement was starting to bubble up in the gaggle of children, like they were able to forget, at least for a moment, the circumstances that they were in. It was almost infectious, and Merielle was eager to see the crudely drawn hopscotch courts re-imagined.

"those big pictures take a lot of planning." Enna agreed, picking up where Merielle left off. "I wanted to get you guys some hopscotch courts. I hear you made one for yourself, but I thought we could make it brighter. then maybe later I can help you guys make a big picture. how does that sound?"

There were looks, eyes meeting and figuring it out. but then they nodded, sounds of agreements.

"okay, awesome. Why don't you come pick colors?" she grinned, opening her backpack and laying out the colors, helping each child pick a can. "oh, if you both want pink, you can share. don't worry."

[merrymerielle]

Merielle watched as the necklace caught her attention, but as soon as Cress stepped away she placed the jewellery carefully on the table, "like I said, most of the stuff in here is for Kya," She began rummaging through the box again, creating piles on the table - onesies, cloth diapers, larger clothes, "I think Pearl didn't want you to feel left out, and she's good at making pretty things, so..."

She paused in making the small piles, turning to face Cress, a sadness on her face at the thought that this was an act performed out of obligation, as if there was some ulterior motive for an act of kindness towards a child, "this isn't about having to do anything, there is no obligation here, but there is a child that is going to outgrow her clothes - regardless of the fact that food is pretty scarce - so I wanted to help, in some way." She took a deep breath and took another onesie out of the box, folding it carefully before adding it to the pile, "and I'm really lucky to be in a position where I'm able to help." it also helped to have such a large family with so many children that have outgrown their clothes.

"We have tea," Cress turned, eager to busy herself, to have some purpose. There was a tin of looseleaf tea on the counter -- one that Hestia had sent from Twelve for Cress when she was pregnant. In the midst of brewing, she turned, caught off-guard by the necklace, stunned still by the offering of a gift. "What's this?" Cress placed the mugs down, fingers instead coming up to touch the shells. Her face was unreadable, expression a careful neutral, but her lips parted, the bottom one quivering, and she swallowed thickly before stepping away. Back to the mugs. The tea. Cress' life was different now. What use did she have for this kindness? For nice things?

"Why are you doing this?" Cress asked, feeling the shame she had stomached creep back. It colored her cheeks, staining her red. "We have no obligation to each other. You didn't have to do this."

[merrymerielle]

Merielle had picked up one of the younger children, propping them on her hip as Enna expertly dodged the bombardment of questions, 'rebel monsters' was an interesting choice of words - though to them it would seem that way, the Vox uprising had resulted in many of the children being separated from their family in one way or another, she tried not to dwell on it too much.

She did scoff lightly at being referred to as special, and shook her head before stepping forward to look over the array of colours. "Who me? Of course I'm helping." She grinned and adjusted the child on her hip, "I think I'll go for blue, like the ocean." Like home.

"What are we painting?" "Are we doing a big gigantic picture?" "That would be silly, a'cause miss Enna does the big pictures."

The chorus of questions would have continued for hours but Merielle cleared her throat and pointed to the mostly faded hopscotch grid on the ground, "why don't we start a bit smaller, first, and then you can work up to the big pictures, right Enna?"

"Oh, I definitely need some Thimble time - long overdue." She agreed with a smile. When she spotted the gaggle of children, still brightly coloured in various ways despite the scarcity that the rebellion had caused, she waved to get their attention.

They froze for a moment at Enna's question, stones in hand, and seemed to look between the two of them before deciding that it was okay to nod. Merielle smiled and crouched down to their level, "Hey guys, this is my friend Enna, she's an artist." That earned a chorus of 'oohs' from the kids. "Like a painter?" one of the children, still dressed in bright green clothing, "or like a person who makes statues?" a different child, with pink contact lenses, "are you a victor too? Like Merrielle?" another child, pushing forward to ask their question.

[merrymerielle]

Merielle watched Cress closely, more than ready to drop the box at the threshold and walk away, but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't relieved at the permission that was given. With a smile she stepped forward to set the box down on the table, flexing her fingers for a moment before opening it. "Oh," she looked from Cress, to the cupboards, to Kya, and back again, "I'm not hungry - I ate before I came here." It was only partially a lie, she had eaten, but she'd been hungry for a while. Though she recognised Cress' position, or lack thereof now, so settled on a middle ground, "I'll have a drink of something though, I'm not fussy."

She looked down at the box, it was mostly an array of baby clothes and cloth diapers in various sizes, though her eyes were drawn to what she knew was a homemade necklace. Merielle picked up the string of shells, strung together almost expertly, and offered it towards Cress gingerly. "Obviously you don't have to keep everything, and if you don't want it that's fine, but Pearl - one of the many teenagers," the joys of a big family, ever-growing, "let me know that she was making a present especially for you, so I believe this is it." Other family members had written letters too, explaining what they'd put in the box and why, but this was the only item in the box intended solely for Cress.

When the shit had hit the proverbial fan, everything peripheral fell away, and her brain kicked into overdrive with next steps, and who she needed to find. She knew that her family back in 4 would be fine, mostly, but it was her friends and the other victors that she knew would be under the most scrutiny. Not least of all, Cress.

Sure, they weren't always the closest of friends, but they understood each other. Plus, Cress had Kya now, a whole tiny human that was depending on her. In anywhere closer to normal circumstances, that wouldn't have been an issue. But with the revolution outside, that was a different story. Adults could fend for themselves - could find scraps of food, re-wear the same clothes, get by on less. But babies were constantly growing, or trying to at least, and with scarcity being so prevalent Merielle had contacted her family and they had been more than happy to help. When she did find Cress the last thing she wanted to do was spook her, so with a cardboard box in her arms she cleared her throat and waited.

Her nose wrinkled slightly at the mention of Slate and the magazine, not because she had anything against it, but she was trying to be as minimally involved with the rebellion as possible without being on the side of the old system, but that was slightly awkward to explain so she shook her head, "Yeah, I'm not looking for him." She looked down at the box before looking back at Cress, "I have some stuff for you, well, for Kya really - I figured it's been..." what words could she possibly say that would sum up how difficult caring for a child must be right now? Instead, she shifted the box in her arms before continuing. "Anyway, I have a huge family - a lot of hand-me-downs, I just, y'know, thought they might come in useful. You can say no, obviously."

[merrymerielle]

A Case for Cache

When President Snow was assassinated on live television, Merielle could not find it in herself to care much. It was hardly the most gruesome death she'd witnessed on a screen. But the meaning was not lost on her.

District Four, home, was her first thought, but they could wait, at least a while. No, what was most important now was the other victors, those that had been actively involved as loyalists, that’s where her focus needed to be.

She had aligned herself with the Vox enough to satisfy them, though her true loyalty would always be to her loved ones, and any actions she took were taken with them in mind.

Merielle hadn’t wanted an important government position, years of living in a fight or flight response had left her exhausted, so she stepped forward instead to speak on behalf of the Victors that were still being held pending trial. She’d managed to convince the Vox that a trial couldn’t be a fair trial if they had already made up their minds.

“We need to talk to you about--”

“I don’t have the same information that you do. I want it, if I’m going to be of any help to anyone.”

Merielle didn’t care that she’d interrupted, she was busy making herself as comfortable as she could, sitting cross-legged in one of the chairs provided, looking pointedly at the notes the two Vox had in front of them.

They glanced at each other before trying to continue, “Yes, well--”

“Look, let’s not spend forever fucking around, you’ve decided that all of the remaining Victors are guilty, and I’ve got to try and convince you otherwise,” She sighed and rubbed her face before leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table, “I can only tell you so much about them if you’re not going to share the information that you have.”

There was silence for a few moments, but she didn’t move, her eyes flicking between the two of them expectedly.

“I suppose that can be arranged, but for today we need--”

“Great!” She sat up straight again, “I look forward to it. For today, I can happily provide character references for whoever needs it, and then when you share with me the ‘evidence’ you have, I can tell you for definite why you’re wrong. Who’s up first?”

She picked up the water bottle in front of her and took a sip.

“Link Cache, District Three.”

The water might as well have been sand for how dry her mouth suddenly felt.

“She’ll be tried for--”

“I know.”

“What can you tell us about her character?” The sarcasm dripped from the word but Merielle ignored it, glaring a hole into the table for a long few moments.

She'd already been mentoring for several years by the time Link was a tribute, and Merielle had only spoken to her a handful of times before they all went into the arena, when the girl from Three emerged victorious she had been her first to send both congratulations and condolences.

When Link had become a mentor too, Merielle gained a friend she held in the same regard as a sister, and now she was being interrogated about her friend's actions. Actions that she knew she would have taken herself if necessary.

"...Miss Sands-"

“I remember her Games.” Was the first thing that she managed to say, “I’d even spoken with her a few times before they all went in. But that year was…They were awful - I mean, they all are, but these were…I remember tributes dying from dehydration and heat exhaustion, and the flesh eating scarabs were just--” She shuddered. “By all accounts, Link shouldn’t have won her Games. We were - District Four had the better tribute, a lot of sponsorship money went to them, but Link was smarter.” She could still remember it vividly, watching those final moments of the final two tributes.

“She killed one of your own tributes and you’re vouching for her?”

She blinked and shook her head, coming back to reality, the reality that these Vox soliders didnt have the death of every tribute from Four seared into their memory. “What? No, stupidity and eventually blood loss killed my tribute. Link was just unlucky.”

“Don’t you mean lucky? Isn’t the aim to win?”

Her hands, that had been still in her lap, curled into fists, her nails digging into her palms. “No,” She hissed through gritted teeth, before taking a deep breath and uncurling her hands, “I do not mean lucky.”

“But she did win, and then she went on to be a mentor, and--”

“So did I, and I can tell you that I did not feel lucky to have won my games. There are no winners. I can’t go home, being near the water just…I can’t do it. It’s not--I can’t.” Merielle took a moment to steady herself before continuing, reminding herself that she was there for Link, for her friend. “I can’t go home, and Link…Link will never walk again because of her Games.”

They were all silent for a moment, letting that fact hang between them. As one of the Vox opened their mouths to ask another question, Merielle continued.

“Do you know how they asked me if I wanted to be a mentor? President Snow asked me personally, invited me and my whole family to dinner, it was more food than any of us had ever seen. Then afterwards…Afterwards she uhm, put her hand on one of my sisters shoulders, and I could tell how tight the grip was, but no one was going to say anything.” Merielle huffed, somewhere between a laugh and the start of a sob, “And she asked if I would like to be a mentor. But I knew…I knew that there wasn’t really a choice being offered, that if I’d said no…I was sixteen.”

She shook her head again before pushing her hair back, “I can only imagine that if Link was asked in a similar way, if they’d tried to involve her family, she would have said yes immediately.”

“That still doesn’t explain why she turned in Meta Morphic, or why she--”

Merielle slammed her hands down on the table, stopping them in their tracks, before standing up and towering over them. “Are you deaf or just not listening? Do you need me to start signing instead? Family comes first for Link. Always. That is never going to be negotiable.” She could feel how tense she was. “Link will always choose the option that keeps her family safe. If that means selling out some rebel to save her brother--” Merielle’s voice cracked on the word, and her shoulders sagged. She took a deep breath before sitting down again.

“Link has--had brothers. Everything she’s ever done was to protect her family. But the Games, and all of this bullshit,” She gestured vaguely around the room, “has taken them from her.”

Hot tears threatened to spill over, and it took a lot of effort to remain composed, “Link is like family to me. She’s one of the only people that knew how difficult mentoring and watching tributes be murdered in more and more creative ways was for me. She used to,” a small smile, struggling to break through, “she used to come and bring me food, and she’d never cook anything without me being able to see it because she knew that I couldn’t trust the food if she did. Sometimes she’d stay the night, and we’d share my bed and just…talk. About home, about our Games, about what we’d do differently if we had any say in the matter.” She sniffled and wiped away any tears on the back of her hand, “I’d always make sure that there was a light left on for her.”

“Did she ever talk about her loyalty to The Capitol? To President Snow?”

Merielle wanted to grab them by the shoulders and shake them until they understood. Instead she just sighed and shook her head.

“Link was never loyal to The Capitol or Snow. She is loyal to her family.”

[merrymerielle]

When the shit had hit the proverbial fan, everything peripheral fell away, and her brain kicked into overdrive with next steps, and who she needed to find. She knew that her family back in 4 would be fine, mostly, but it was her friends and the other victors that she knew would be under the most scrutiny. Not least of all, Cress.

Sure, they weren't always the closest of friends, but they understood each other. Plus, Cress had Kya now, a whole tiny human that was depending on her. In anywhere closer to normal circumstances, that wouldn't have been an issue. But with the revolution outside, that was a different story. Adults could fend for themselves - could find scraps of food, re-wear the same clothes, get by on less. But babies were constantly growing, or trying to at least, and with scarcity being so prevalent Merielle had contacted her family and they had been more than happy to help. When she did find Cress the last thing she wanted to do was spook her, so with a cardboard box in her arms she cleared her throat and waited.

Her nose wrinkled slightly at the mention of Slate and the magazine, not because she had anything against it, but she was trying to be as minimally involved with the rebellion as possible without being on the side of the old system, but that was slightly awkward to explain so she shook her head, "Yeah, I'm not looking for him." She looked down at the box before looking back at Cress, "I have some stuff for you, well, for Kya really - I figured it's been..." what words could she possibly say that would sum up how difficult caring for a child must be right now? Instead, she shifted the box in her arms before continuing. "Anyway, I have a huge family - a lot of hand-me-downs, I just, y'know, thought they might come in useful. You can say no, obviously."

Her glazed-over expression was vacant, hands moving thoughtlessly upon instinct, executing a well-worn routine. Kya used cloth diapers, half out of desire, but half out of necessity. And without textiles coming in from Eight, new fabric had become a rarity. Scarcity seemed commonplace, and they were left endlessly wanting: for food, for freedom, for peace.

Cress pinned the new diaper into place, working idly to collect the linens that needed washing. Without Avoxes, she did them herself -- quietly. It was easier that way, to move through the Tower unseen, avoiding bitter glares and comments that always seemed punctuated by the curse of loyalist. So when she sensed they were no longer alone, Cress peered up curiously.

"I think you're on the wrong floor," she murmured, hiking the basket of fabric up onto her hip, eyeing Merielle suspiciously. "And if you're looking for Slate, he's downstairs working on the magazine."

@merrymerielle

[merrymerielle]

"Oh, I definitely need some Thimble time - long overdue." She agreed with a smile. When she spotted the gaggle of children, still brightly coloured in various ways despite the scarcity that the rebellion had caused, she waved to get their attention.

They froze for a moment at Enna's question, stones in hand, and seemed to look between the two of them before deciding that it was okay to nod. Merielle smiled and crouched down to their level, "Hey guys, this is my friend Enna, she's an artist." That earned a chorus of 'oohs' from the kids. "Like a painter?" one of the children, still dressed in bright green clothing, "or like a person who makes statues?" a different child, with pink contact lenses, "are you a victor too? Like Merrielle?" another child, pushing forward to ask their question.

Merielle hummed thoughtfully for a moment, "Well, I can always try and get some fish delivered from Four - can't have Thimble going without a treat, obviously." She could probably get some other things sent into the Capitol too, but she was wary of asking too much when things were so unstable. Plus, smoked or salted fish probably travels better than fresh, and she didn't want to poison her friends cat with lethal levels of sodium.

Her face lit up at Enna's agreement, she hadn't been expecting a 'no' necessarily, but the complete lack of hesitation made her feel more at ease. "They're a few streets over, there's a few families and they don't really have anywhere to go, but oh my--they will love this." She'd managed to draw out a hopscotch grid using a stone on the sidewalk, and though it was crude it had worked as intended - children were playing together, it didn't matter if they were originally from the Capitol or from one of the districts, and Merielle had been visiting them more and more. "I took some bread and water over earlier and they've been drawing on the sidewalks using stones - I'm pretty sure they're starting a new art movement. Are you free to head over now?"

[merrymerielle]

She frowned for a moment, flicking mentally through a list of names that she'd come across - ones that she knew were still jailed. "Bentley? Cade Bentley?" She opened her mouth to ask a different question before her brain caught up, "Wait, the bartender? Him? How in the--what did he do? Has anyone said?"

"No," Everett said quickly, a bit breathlessly, "no, I'm not planning on it. I-- fuck, I hope not, anyway. It's Cade, Cade is in jail, just because of his last name, big loyalist family I guess."

[merrymerielle]

Merielle hummed thoughtfully for a moment, "Well, I can always try and get some fish delivered from Four - can't have Thimble going without a treat, obviously." She could probably get some other things sent into the Capitol too, but she was wary of asking too much when things were so unstable. Plus, smoked or salted fish probably travels better than fresh, and she didn't want to poison her friends cat with lethal levels of sodium.

Her face lit up at Enna's agreement, she hadn't been expecting a 'no' necessarily, but the complete lack of hesitation made her feel more at ease. "They're a few streets over, there's a few families and they don't really have anywhere to go, but oh my--they will love this." She'd managed to draw out a hopscotch grid using a stone on the sidewalk, and though it was crude it had worked as intended - children were playing together, it didn't matter if they were originally from the Capitol or from one of the districts, and Merielle had been visiting them more and more. "I took some bread and water over earlier and they've been drawing on the sidewalks using stones - I'm pretty sure they're starting a new art movement. Are you free to head over now?"

"Thimbs doesn't even know. she's just upset about the lack of wet food." Enna had been predominantly feeding thimble wet food before the world broke, and she'd been lucky enough to grab two huge bags of dry food in the intial chaos, so thimble had plenty to eat, but it wasn't up to her usual standards, poor thing.

"absolutely not." Enna nodded along, immediately onboard. "would around here work? or are they a few streets over?" Having a hopscotch court on the ground would be perfectly alligning with the vision she'd been working with as of late. she was doing things the capitol would have never allowed. children encouraged to play in the streets? the way they did in nine? with permanant fixtures dedicated to it? What better way to deface the marble the capitol had constructed.

[merrymerielle]

Merielle was more than happy to swap some bread for chocolate, the sweet treat had been hard to come by, and she wasted no time in breaking off a piece that she let melt on her tongue. "Oh nice," she nodded, savouring the chocolate for a moment longer, "I'll have to swing by and see it, just make sure Thimble's ego doesn't become out of control with all of the attention."

She smiled before tearing off a piece of bread, picking at it for a moment before taking a deep breath. "I was thinking- I mean, there are some kids nearby, sweet kids, I don't think they really...understand what's going on..." Merielle scrunched her face up for a moment to stop herself from rambling, "would it be a waste of your artistic ability if I asked you to paint out, like, a hopscotch grid for them?"

Enna nodded, splitting the chocolate bar in half and passing one of the pieces over to Merielle, gratefully taking some of the bread when that was passed her way. "We make the best lunches." she declared, taking a few bites.

"Oh, you know. some stuff here and there. did a pretty good cat profile, jumping over that 'vox rocks' I did when Colt's article came out. Reminds me of thimble." Thimble, her cat, who she was happy got to see this new regime too. "it's on the corner of first and fifth if you want to see it."

[merrymerielle]

Under normal circumstances, Merielle might have pointed out his lack of manners, but 'normal' hadn't been the circumstance for a while, and ultimately she was just happy to see him. She raised an eyebrow at his question before nodding slowly, "I mean...yes? Victors, mostly, why?" She crossed her arms, "I hope you're not planning on ending up in jail."

"Hi," Everett replied, stepping inside and not wasting a beat for pleasantries at the moment. He was glad to see her, had been glad to hear she was okay and free, but he was preoccupied at the moment with fears about Cade. "I need help. Someone said you'd been helping vouch for people, like get them out of jail?"

[merrymerielle]

Merielle hadn't particularly planned to vouch for the victors that hadn't yet been pardoned, but it ended coming to her quite naturally - most of them she would consider friends, and if they weren't friends they were still victims of the games. After spending more time than she'd care to admit trying to drive that point home, she was thankful to have her apartment to hide away in; no one to press her about fellow victors, and very few visitors. The knock at her door was jarring but the person on the other side was a welcome sight.

"Everett? What are you-?" Half way through asking why he was there she remembered her manners and cut herself off, "I mean, hi, first of all. Come in, please." She stepped back from the door to let him through, "How are you?"

Everett had no idea how to approach getting Cade out of jail. He was certain that he didn't belong there, that he hadn't done anything, that he would support the Vox -- if they'd just let him out of his cell. But he didn't know how to prove that, and he barely had a voice himself in the Vox order, having only just joined and being generally under suspicion already. He'd pledged his loyalty and everything, but how to get Cade out, too? He had no idea. So he found himself knocking on Merielle's door, having heard that she was involved in vouching for some of the Victors, hoping she'd do so and help out Cade as well.

@merrymerielle

[merrymerielle]

@sheenlux

Over the years of being a mentor Merielle liked to think that she'd become pretty good at reading people, it was a pretty important part of her job when talking to sponsors and convincing them to part with large sums of money. While Sheen was a friend and not a sponsor, there was one thing that she knew about him for certain, and that was that he would rather starve if it meant his dog ate.

With supply chains being so disrupted, she wouldn't be surprised if he had enough dog food to last several months, and the absolute bare minimum for himself. Which is why she found herself standing outside of his apartment, knocking rhythmically on his door.

"Hey, let me in, I come bearing gifts for both human and canine."

[merrymerielle]

It was strange, all things considered, how difficult it had been for Merielle to stop being a mentor. To stop feeling like every move she made was scrutinised, though she was probably being watched - just by different people. It made it hard to switch off. Which is how she found herself sitting on a curb, staring into space.

A familiar voice snapped her out of her thoughts and brought a smile to her face. It was easy to smile with Enna, her happiness was infectious, and being presented with chocolate definitely helped.

"Definitely crazy, I'd love to split it." She agreed, sitting up straight to stretch her back, "I wonder why they thought that would be a good hiding place? Well, their loss is our gain. I have half a loaf of bread - mostly not stale - which I'd be more than happy to share."

"Paint anything good today?"

@merrymerielle

Enna knew Merielle Sands. not super well, they'd only met once before the takeover. but she'd been seeing more of her lately. They both spent a lot of time outside, roaming the streets of the capitol. so whenever Enna saw her, she walked with her, ate lunch together, and hung out.

Yeah, they were friends.

"Vox Dei!" she greeted, when she saw merielle on the street today. she dropped down, sitting beside her, to present her finding of the day. "I. got. chocolate. you'd think it'd all be gone by now, but I found some. you know where? inside the register of the craft store. crazy, right?"

"do you wanna split it?"

[merrymerielle]

Not Dead Yet | Self-Para

The night before had started out as restless at best. Merielle hadn't been able to sleep, which at the point was becoming a regular occurrence. She eventually made her way to a viewing room to watch the Games, hoping it would distract her from the nightmare scenarios her brain was so good at creating. The room was empty as expected, so she settled into one of the comfy chairs with a coffee and blanket.

Despite the screen's bright glow, nothing exciting seemed to be happening, and she could feel herself fighting to stay awake any longer, placing her half-finished coffee on the floor. Though she knew she'd wake up with a backache, she was too tired to care about moving.

It was the change in lighting that woke her up. The flickering of the arena display that eventually went dark. She sat up so quickly she ended up kicking over the discarded coffee mug and swearing as she bent to pick it up.

She could only stare at the screen as the walls of the arena crumbled, the jarring white of the snow being replaced with smoke. Merielle found herself standing up at the second set of explosions, as if there was anything she could have done, as if she could have crawled through the screen to help. Her brain went so quickly into overdrive that she was frozen where she stood, unable to force herself to move.

A noise from behind her shook her from her daze and she whirled around, mug in hand, to find herself staring at...well, she didn't know who she was staring at. It wasn't a peacekeeper, or one of her friends, so the only logical explanation left was the Vox. If she'd been more aware of what exactly was happening she might not have reacted in the way that she did and gone peacefully since she wasn't in any danger.

All she could hear was ringing in her ears so whatever the intruder was saying was lost on her. The adrenaline coursing through her veins made her feel like a terrified fourteen year old again, but this time she knew how to get out. So she launched the mug at the Vox soldier, hearing it shatter as it made contact with them, and ran.

It was chaos, and she could hear that, but she couldn't make sense of it - and she wasn't about to slow down to try. She made it further than she thought she would, taking the stairs two at a time, but just as she was about to reach District 3's floor someone grabbed her ankle. The stairs rose up to meet her far too quickly and everything went black.

The world faded in and out, upside down and the wrong way around, until she was unceremoniously dumped in a chair, opposite another person she didn't recognise, whose mouth was moving but Merielle couldn't see well enough through the blood and sweat to lipread, and she couldn't hear anything over the ringing in her ears that hadn't stopped.

She raised her hands and signed slowly, I can't hear you, I don't know what you're saying, what is happening?

The room was still for a moment, and then someone must have said something because one unfamiliar person was swapped out for another.

We want to talk to you. signed the new stranger, we know you haven't been involved with the recent propo's coming from the Capitol, but your friends have been, so we need to make sure you're going to be on the right side.

Merielle raised an eyebrow, blinking slowly before laughing despite herself, this is an interrogation? Who the fuck are you?

There was a pause, no confirmation either way, and the signing continued.

My name is Max. You ran after attacking one of-

What was I supposed to do, Max? Ask the stranger with a weapon if he was a good guy? This whole thing is bullshit.

She slammed her hands down on the table before looking around the room, all of these people likely recognised her, most of them would have seen her win her Games, she was a threat just because of that.

Do you know what it's like to be a fourteen year old fighting other people - more experienced people - to the death? Do you know what it's like to win and still have your family threatened if you don't cooperate? Do you know what District I'm from?

Confusion passed over their face for a moment, Four?

Four. She confirmed. I was born and raised in a district known for doing very well in any Games that are water based or involve any level of swimming. But because of my Games, I can barely shower without having a panic attack.

She winced as the ringing in her ears intensified for a moment before almost disappearing, sounds of the real world filtering back in.

If you think for one moment that I'm about to choose sides based on the Games, I will be choosing the side that keeps my family and friends safe. Do with that information what you will.

Max nodded before standing up to leave again. Merielle glared at the guards in the room, did she really need this many? How much had a well aimed mug scared them?

She wasn't sure how long she'd been left in there, it could have been minutes or hours, she'd started picking dried blood out of her auburn hair, trying to distract herself from her hearing attempting to return to normal. Eventually Max returned with the original stranger.

We have made a decision.

Merielle simply tilted her head, waiting for them to tell her where she'd be rotting for the rest of her life.

You will be pardoned. You pose no threat to the Vox and we believe that you can help us, and we will help you in return. This decision can and will be overturned if necessary. You may return to your room, we will be providing medical care for the injuries you sustained earlier today. Do you have any questions?

Pardoned? It didn't make sense, but she knew better than to look a gift-vox in the mouth. She didn't care about whatever injuries she'd picked up, there was only one question that came to mind.

Where are my friends?

[merrymerielle]

Sleep had not come easily, and when she did manage to sleep she was plagued by nightmares of water and drowning and not being able to breathe, so eventually she gave up. Merielle had ended up wandering around the tower, trying to distract herself, but it didn't work as well as she had hoped. The training room would probably be empty and she could channel everything she was feeling in some sort of productive way.

She was startled for a moment at the presence of another person but relaxed when she realised it was Pyxis, a familiar face but not one that she would rather avoid. She stared at her for a moment, trying to process too many things at once, before a response finally stumbled out of her mouth, "I haven't been in my rooms much lately, but that's very kind of them," she walked closer to the trainer, "you'll have to thank your family for me when you can." The ache in her chest at the thought of her own family at home in four threatened to bring tears to her eyes for a moment, but she pushed that away for now.

"I assume the train journey was as comfortable as ever." She nodded toward the foam roller before sitting on the floor, "Or is this some form of torture, I mean, training, that you're planning for the next lot of tributes?"

location: tower training Room status: closed to @merrymerielle

Shortly after the District Four tributes had entered the Arena, Pyxis had left the Capitol on a train back to her home district. It was not a normal journey for her with the games ongoing, but her brother had been sick and they needed her to help with his side of the business, if only for a few days. Besides, Pyxis had figured that once that once the two tributes had left her charge, there was little more she could do for them. Merielle had always been better at guiding them towards the final stages before they were dropped into the arena.

As she stretched on one of the training mats, using a foam roller to work out the kink in her hip that had pestered her since two train rides, she heard footsteps and saw the aforementioned Mentor enter the room. Both the District Four tributes were dead: one at the start and one not too much later.

"Hey," she said lightly, knowing how much Merielle took to heart when their charges died. "My parents sent some stuff for you, I think there is some bread from home and other little things. I had someone bring it to your rooms when I got back."