mesaprotector

[mesaprotector]

How to vent about the same problem multiple times without people wanting to beat you to death with hammers

[mesaprotector]

Alexis Mata — Mirage in the Sunset (oil on canvas, 2024)

[mesaprotector]

Part II : pixels of the universe ✨

[mesaprotector]

some thoughts about recreational drugs

i think above all i just find the "body high" experience unpleasant.

the effects of alcohol are physically pleasant to me, in moderation in the right setting. it can be relaxing, happy, fluid, comfortable. i don't think i'm more creative when drunk though i had some interesting thoughts when i first started drinking. some stereotypes i don't relate to include being horny when drunk (absolutely not, it's the complete opposite), being aggressive (never), being more extraverted (i can be a talkative drunk but usually only in private with a couple good friends, it's the opposite in public).

so i imagined weed and other drugs would be, well, happiness-inducing, just without the depressant/balance-impairing effects. it's been a decade since i first tried weed (let alone a couple other substances), and i can say for sure that instead, it's the feeling of being crushed, under pressure, prevented from moving easily. and feeling very warm, but not in a nice way. it makes thinking very difficult. music does feel exceptionally nice when high, sometimes. a lot of things are more immersive. but the actual bodily sensation is not nice and that's enough to keep me sober the vast majority of the time. "high" is an incredible misnomer; "baked" is actually pretty accurate.

i've also heard people say everything is funnier when high—also not true for me. what does happen is i start reflexively laughing/giggling, but with no actual humor or happiness behind it.

i do enjoy reading other people's subjective reports of their own experiences, but i think even more i enjoy reading about the experiences very creative and imaginative people have when sober. not to be a narcissist (though i am, a bit) but a lot of the most amazing things i've felt have been just while out alone on a walk some morning or evening.

[mesaprotector]

New Secret Knots comic: "Cryptid".

[mesaprotector]

Super/Natural. by Judith Schaechter, engraved flash glass, wood.

www.judithschaechter.com

[mesaprotector]

[mesaprotector]

Kennedy Space Center , FL (1975)

Source: Flickr/Thomas Hawk

[mesaprotector]

Mel Chin: ‘KNOWMAD’ (1999)

[mesaprotector]

The Henderson by Zaha Hadid Architects

©️Esme Ngan 2025

[mesaprotector]

The iconic Windows XP 'Bliss' desktop wallpaper shown above in 2001 and below in more recent years. location: Sonoma, California, USA

[mesaprotector]

“Nature & Technology” by morganetenoux ◆ Same circles, different purposes

[mesaprotector]

Idk how to put this but I always end up feeling that discussions around sustainability seem to center the lives of upper middle class people. I am not in the position where I could even consider purchasing an electric car. Choosing lower-carbon flights doesn’t matter if you can’t afford airfare. Paying triple for “sustainable” food at the farmers’ market isn’t an option when even Aldi feels expensive.

And I’m not saying that people who have more options available to them shouldn’t try to make thoughtful choices, I’m saying that I’d rather see buses that run on time than more electric car chargers.

[mesaprotector]

[mesaprotector]

harry dubois if he was a young witch trying to solve the disappearance of her neighbors cat in a small village in the alps

[mesaprotector]

I did end up enjoying Disco Elysium, just had some issues with the gameplay that detracted from parts of the experience, and I didn't love it enough to feel like doing a second run.

The characters being treated with love and respect is really great. I really liked even the capitalist executive Joyce and the nationalist/fascist René (I've met men like René before, and really, really enjoy talking to them). Even Garte ended up being an enjoyable character.

Of course I enjoy the personality/check mechanic, but I do think a better autosave and potentially some removal of checks where failing doesn't benefit the narrative at all (ex. talking to the phasmid) would be better. I do really like stuff like, if you fail to see Cuno's hideout you have to befriend or threaten him. If you fail to punch Measurehead you have to pretend to believe in his racist theories... and so on. The game is usually pretty good at giving you alternate ways around. The thought mechanic also seemed awkward and hard to figure out at times, though it added flavor to be sure.

As usual, after finishing the game I had fun looking through the fandom memes. There's definitely an insufferable side of this game's fanbase that insists their interpretation is the only correct one, but. You know.

I went with an initial stat spread of 2INT-5PSY-2PHS-3MOT. The extra point in Motorics was usually not enough to pass the important checks based on it but 5 in Psyche definitely was (aside from a hilarious critical fail on telling the lady about her husband's death).

Was a little disappointing to find out that the alternate endings are barely different, unless you count the Moralism quest ending as an ending (I think it's technically a game over). I was hoping to have the option of ditching the force to investigate holes in reality/become a hobo/whatever else.

I let Klassje go and don't feel bad about it, even though the game inexplicably tries to make you so (I'm not talking about Kim or the 41s' criticism, but your internal monologue); I also managed to talk Ruby down from killing herself, passing a 42% check to do so. Most of the Hardies died, though. I guess that feels fitting but definitely not a happy game, not that it needs to be.

[mesaprotector]

I'm definitely "neurodivergent" in some (many) ways, but I don't consider myself autistic, and in some circles I run in people consider autism a point of pride and belonging—of course we're all autistic, isn't it great? I don't correct people when they do this, but I do feel like a bit of an imposter. :þ