messessentialist

[messessentialist]

While making dinner tonight, I very very fleetingly, but very seriously and legitimately thought “I should watch Goncharov tonight”

And then I Remembered.

[messessentialist]

the t from james t kirk and the t from william t riker both stand for 'turned on'

[messessentialist]

random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

[messessentialist]

even if that means violin concerts at 4am and fights about cocaine on a regular basis

[messessentialist]

on amok time again: they really did "spock experiences primal alien mating drive and murder fuck ritual," and didn't even play with "and this is an excuse to see our prim and proper mr spock get sensual with a lady!". like he expends ALL of his hot dominating fantasy uncontrollable lust rage energy ON KIRK. they wrote that and had ONE chance to make spock have any scandalous, carnal housewife jerk off material romance they wanted with any sexy space woman in the universe, and they chose kirk. when he does interact with a woman he throws a soup at her

[messessentialist]

Five asexuals are playing cards.

One starts to explain the rules: 

I’d say no cheating, but there are already five aces at the table.

[messessentialist]

New Sherlock Holmes adaptation idea: Watsondoes a voiceover narration of the story and it frequently contradicts what’s happening onscreen. Sometimes it’s literally just blatant lies. Watson also frequently looks into the camera like he’s on the office. It’s set in the original Victorian era so this should not be possible. He’s the only character who does this.

[messessentialist]

does the 69 button have a name or are we all calling it the 69 button.

[messessentialist]

Sherlock, to Watson: Watson, stop puffing up my achievements in your stories! They should be purely intellectual texts! Convey the facts alone and stop talking about me!

Sherlock, in the Blanched Soldier: Hi, so Watson's been telling me that I should try my hand at writing an account of a case because I always complain when he does it and he always goes "Well, do it yourself then!". But now I'm doing it myself l've actually found that he was right all along and what he does is so amazing because he makes me seem so much smarter than I am. He's actually much more brilliant than his stories would have you think. I don't keep him around out of sentiment. Oh no! He's actually incredible and I love talking with him because he's constantly amazed by what I do and he's so stubborn when he cares about something and- …He actually wasn’t here on this adventure as he had recently deserted me for a wife, the only selfish action of our acquaintance. Which I feel completely normal about thanks for asking, ANYWAY-

[messessentialist]

i have a friend who has kinda bad eczema on their right hand but their left hand is fine and thats because acidity makes eczema worse and that includes vaginal acidity and my friend is both a lesbian and a slut so they finger a lot of people and that fucks up the hand they use (their right hand). Anyways do you think BBC sherlock would deduce that by looking at my friend’s hands

[messessentialist]

“At night, he’d sit on the end of Ronan’s childhood bed and meet Ronan in dreamspace-Ronan, asleep, in a dream, Adam, awake, in a trance.”

[messessentialist]

[messessentialist]

"autistic people need instructions for every simple task" okay how about we talk about the neurotypicals not following clear instructions. what do you mean it didn't work the way you wanted, i gave you the instructions. oh you didn't follow them? you didn't see where i clearly indicated the directions you were supposed to follow for this task? and you're shocked it didn't turn out right? you decided to pull a Jared I'm 19 and go rogue? you're surprised the road less travelled isn't fucking paved because no one travels it? do you get off on this

[messessentialist]

it makes me so furious when i want to know about a specific ass species of animal and theres only like 6 existing photos of it. like im actually going to pass away if humanity as a whole doesnt release more pied butterfly bat images

[messessentialist]

[messessentialist]

anyway you should always remember that all those foreigners you see dying on the news are just as real people as you are who have just as much interiority as you do. there is nothing about you that makes you more important and it is by pure chance that you are not in their position. in fact, this holds for all of history. every person, no matter the horror of the fate that befell them, had just as much interiority as you do. i feel like some people haven't fully internalized this.

[messessentialist]