miauwing

[miauwing]

the world is running out of glassblowers and yet you want to become a fucking doctor

[miauwing]

was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.

[miauwing]

No your honor i would never kill out of anger. I killed that guy for sport

[miauwing]

[miauwing]

[miauwing]

omg ur so beautiful ^_^ i found your house on google earth btw. can i come over for dinner tomorrow?

[miauwing]

[miauwing]

[miauwing]

*if you know/have confirmed from multiple sources, pick the first one you experienced

[miauwing]

we at the hotel motel holiday inn. if you even give a fuck.

[miauwing]

what are you waiting for? someone to grant you permission? the perfect and permanent emotion? a shooting star to magic away every problem you have or ever have had? alright, wait away then. but no one is going to live your life for you while you wait to become someone else

[miauwing]

can i matchmake you guys somehow?

[miauwing]

[miauwing]

starts talking about my emotional state with 2 degrees of abstraction instead of 7 and the sniper across the street who i pay to keep me in line fires a warning shot thru my little hoop earring

[miauwing]

you start to understand why they invented the bed

[miauwing]

i was looking up synonyms for tired and seeing these two next to each other gave me whiplash

[miauwing]

I know people are going through the dark night of the soul when they start training for a marathon