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We are so glad many of you will be able to join us to celebrate Michelle's life on Sunday.  As a reminder the event is from 2-5pm at the Observation Post in the Presidio.  Doors will open at 1:45 and we will begin the service no later than 2:15.  

  Attached & linked are a map of parking at the Presidio & directions to the Observation Post.  We have reserved 38 parking spots for the event, but over 100 people have responded they are attending so please try to carpool or take public transit whenever possible.  There is an organized event that day so additional parking will be scarce.

If you have not already RSVPed please do so via the earlier post so we can have a final count.  We look forward to seeing you on Sunday.

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RSVP for Michelle's Celebration

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A Celebration of Michelle's Life

Michelle Taylor Shutzer, age 44, of San Francisco, California, passed away on April 9, 2014. Michelle is survived by Husband Robert Shutzer, Mother Lisa Cuya, Sister Brigitte Clayton, Nephew James Nicholson, Goddaughter Misha Sarafina Reyes Leff, and many close friends and four legged spirits.

Michelle graduated with a Bachelor in Museum Studies and Art History from the University of Georgia and a Masters in Nonprofit Administration from the University of San Francisco.

Michelle was committed that her professional career have greater purpose for the communities in which she lived. She worked tirelessly in the arts, museums, community technology and finally the medical foundation. To have known Michelle is to know she connected deeply with people and cared passionately about social justice, Women’s equality and health and the expressive arts. Art was where she found connection with ideas, creativity and spirit beyond her boundaries. She later found spirituality in her profound bond with the herd at the Flag Foundation. She is survived by her herd of 26 equine beauties. She loved music, dancing and her finicky chocolate palate, which favored Michael Recchiuti above all.

Michelle was born in Heidelberg, Germany and lived most of her late childhood and teenage years in Asia. She settled in Stone Mountain, Georgia her junior year in High School. And in 1996, she visited San Francisco and made this home ever since.

A Celebration of Michelle’s Life will be held on Sunday, April 27th, 2:00pm – 5:00pm, at Observation Post at the Presidio, 211 Lincoln Boulevard, San Francisco. Parking will be extremely difficult that day due to a city-wide event, so please arrange for alternate transportation such as bus, taxi or Uber. Please join us in casual and colorful attire as we celebrate Michelle.

In Lieu of flowers or gifts, the family requests that donations be made to The Flag Foundation.

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Turning

Dearest Butterflys, I wanted to let you know the latest. As of last Thur I've become jaundiced again which means the liver is starting to fail. I'm on the slippery slope. Somehow I've developed a pesky cough causing all sorts of ugly effects. I'm less and less able to talk. I'm home most of the time with little energy to make the trip to the farm. That is my biggest sadness. You can reach me in email or text. Mom/lisa is on her way back you can reach her too. Feeling your love and at peace.

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To remain attached is to bring forth sorrow

Buddhist aphorism

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The color of a carrot

Dear Butterfly Nation It’s been too long since the last update, which was a difficult truth to put out there. That truth has not changed and I accept that. In the flow day by day. There are a couple new developments. At the end of February, liver failure dipped into the danger zone. New scans show that the tumor has grown larger than when we first found it in July 2010 and there are two new tumors in the liver. I was becoming jaundiced and very sick. Then came relief in the one last drug available to me. It’s a targeted therapy, not chemo nor immunotherapy. Today is Day 16 and we can tell that it’s working. All the swelling and pain has subsided and I’m no longer the color of a carrot. It does have side effects: fatigue, skin irritations and appetite suppressant. I’m still acclimating to this drug. The past two weeks I’ve been flatlined by the fatigue and not eating much. Last week lost 8 lbs. Yikes!  So, now dealing with a new set of issues with this medication. I can feel the energy perking up ever so slightly. I can stand up straight for longer than 15mins. The Dr. ordered palliative care assistance and a very cool nurse checks on me at home once a week, that’s in addition to the weekly check ups with the Nurse Practitioners at the Dr’s office. Lot’s of eyes and stethoscopes on me. What I’ve realized is that my baseline health has been compromised. I have not been able to get ahead of the effects of medicine, tumors, malfunctions or any sort. We stopped the physical therapy and a few other activities, to allow for slow, steady, restful recuperation. I’m weak in body. Psychologically, there is only so much I can face/discuss/take in, so escaping or checking out has become a coping strategy. Which is another reason I’m not communicating so much right now. I can tell this story only so many times then I can’t hardly speak. I feel I’m strongest in spirit. My dream day is at the farm surrounded by the horses in silent retreat. I’ve had two significant silent retreats in the past couple months, and that is more and more where I’m comfortable. I’ve talked enough, in my life. Now I prefer tapping other senses. I cannot explain this, it’s just developed this way. Thank you to all of you who are checking in. Although I have not yet responded, I have read your notes and listened to your messages. I normally would not be so out of communication, please understand my limitations at this moment. I feel the love showering me from across the planet Hawaii to Sydney, Denmark to Cape Town, Vancouver to Rio! Your love carries me and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world that our hearts are connected. All my love to you flutter, flutter your butterfly, michelle

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Moving me to tears of gratitude

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Big boy jake and the girls. He's dreamy. (at Theflagfoundation.org)

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Take me to the humpbacks (at Kā‘anapali Beach)

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Hi Michelle...

I think I figured out how to post a comment.  You are so incredibly tough. No complaining.  I truly hope you are holding your own and it's not as bad as anticipated.  Stay strong.  I know you still have a ways to go.  But you'll be through this soon.  Easy for me to say.  I'm trying to come up with some profound empowering phrase to help you.  The best I can do is hang in and look forward to enjoying sweeter times.  Good times are ahead.  Hug, hug, hug. See you soon.

n~

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Your Strength is an amazement to me....

My gosh, you incredible woman.  You easy my worry and concern that you are having to endure this, with your up beat and positive attitude!  Michelle, my heart is lightened when you correspond through whatever means. I'm chuckling at your last post. Netflix is pretty good I hear.  I plan to come out and visit this week.  I will when I think you can handle visitors. I'd love to go for a walk with you. Here's the thing you should be aware of; just because they warned you the roughest part is approaching doesn't mean it is going to effect you that way.  Everyone is different.  Calm your anxiety..... breathe...,take air into the lungs and then expel it...send out negative energy, bring in calming, positive energy.... get centered,...find a balance....now just live in the now.  Try not to anticipate, just be, let it come, and get through this.  You are the strongest, toughest man I know. (Joke there, men whine.) You are never more than a thought away from me.  I'm there with you by your side.  I love you.  

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Dear Chelle....

I am so grateful for the strength and resiliency you share. You remind me of how important it is to tap into the human capacity we all have within us to be real - to listen to our inner voice and to grow and transition from a place of isolation and pain toward connection, meaning and wholeness.  

I love you my dear Chelle...and am here for you always.

Your coaching Canada buddy....Donna xox

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We're all holding you up and you've done the same for us. We're here to enjoy the ripe moments with you and love and support you during the hard times. We're continuing to send healing energy your way. xo

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Radiation did not work

Beloved Butterfly Nation, we got to the bottom of why I’m feeling so sick, the radiation did not work. The tumor is growing and now effecting liver functioning. There are still lingering effects of the radiation, but the more recent discomfort is the impact of the tumor. It’s the size of a softball and growing and my poor liver is taking a hit and I’m feeling it.   So, what’s next? All chemotherapy has been exhausted, radiation has been exhausted. There is an immunotherapy trial coming open that my dr will get me into. There will be no harsh effects like chemo. It will put me back into infusion. It’s a mild treatment and a trial so no guarantees and may have “reasonable” but not “dramatic” effects. I feel different, not myself. That drive I was born with, that enthusiasm that defines me is still there, but constantly tempered by self care and what is realistic. Feeling sad, and holding on to hope. Stubborn resistance will hurt more, I’ve chosen to flow. Fluttering at intervals that feel right then resting on faith. This day has come, backed up into the corner of cancer. As dismal as that is, It’s not who I am. I embrace the joy and all that is. My life has funneled into smaller chunks of “ripe” moments of energy in the mornings through early afternoon. With physical therapy, I’m hoping to build stamina so I can stand for longer than 10mins before having to rest and sit for longer than 30 min before lying down. Here it goes...stripping away those BIG events, but it will never touch my spirit or the BIG spirit of you or BIG spirit of my horses, both inspiring me to soar! You’re holding me up. Receiving and send love.

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I could listen to this all day long

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Photograph by Andrew Peacock—Reuters

Dec. 29, 2013. The Russian ship, MV Akademik Shokalskiy, is pictured stranded in ice in Antarctica.

From celebrations ringing in 2014 around the world and the swearing in of New York City’s new mayor to crackdowns on the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt and the first legal sales of recreational marijuana in the United States, TIME presents the best pictures of the week.

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Still a Mystery

Hi there Butterflynation! Still on the slow road to recovery and still a bit of a mystery as to what is causing so much discomfort and pain. Getting scan this coming week and will consult with drs as to what's next. I'll let you know what is discovered. Thanks for keeping me close in your thoughts. Your light lifts me up. All my love