mickeys-been-staying-at-ians

[mickeys-been-staying-at-ians]

You see I too often sat in school classes and thought “when am I ever going to need this, I’m never going to be an engineer, I’m never gonna be a scientist, I’m never gonna be a linguist” and then I grew up and it turns out a lot of bigots and cults and scams and grifts hinge their entire business model on you just. Not knowing what a protein is or some shit

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This "music" thing is insane

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it’s been ten years and i can confirm that everything still happens so much. happy anniversary king

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sheepish is a really funny word. fuck im so nervous (turns into this)

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“no we’re not gay. i’m just raising a kid with him”

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is this a life? i don’t know. i make another cup of coffee. stare at a tree from my balcony. write in my journal. take a hot shower. i call my sister and say nothing of value. she listens anyway. i make another coffee. read a book that gives me bad dreams. pick up my pen to write and put it back down. another flip of the calendar i carry in the center of my chest. i am learning to let my heart open up again

[mickeys-been-staying-at-ians]

rb this post with ur worst destiel art bc that's better than any ai

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#in which eddie makes sure buck's not alone

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[mickeys-been-staying-at-ians]

One of my favourite parts of being on Tumblr is when MCR does anything and half my dash wakes up like the MCR sleeper agents they are. Hermitcraft blogs, system blogs, Sleep Token blogs, my sibling. It does not matter. It is MCR day.

Godspeed.

[mickeys-been-staying-at-ians]

We got it covered. 9-1-1, S08E17

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keep thinking about those screenshots of buck's house after bobby died. no flowers. no one sent him flowers because it wasn't his dad who died, not really. just like chris leaving wasn't his son leaving, not really. eddie going to texas wasn't his partner leaving, not really. buck occupies all of these spaces unofficially and he knows who he is to them but when they leave he's always, always left with nothing. again. most important relationships of his life and he's empty-handed and wondering if he'd imagined it all in the first place.

[mickeys-been-staying-at-ians]

there is something sooo embarrassing about everything i have done and will do

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Do y'all think Eddie realised, when he gave Chris to Buck in his will, that he was taking care of Buck?

Like yes, he's looking out for his son and putting the best person for the job in charge of looking after him. But also... he's looking after Buck.

It's been said time and again that throwing children (especially Chris) at Buck is the best way to pull him out of his own head and cheer him up.

But on top of that, if Buck gets Chris after Eddie dies... Buck gets everything and everyone that comes with him.

Buck gets forced to interact with Carla. Buck gets Abuela and Tía Pepa's support through his grief. And he doesn't have any excuse to say no, because they're feeding and caring for Chris and by association doing the same for him.

Did Eddie know how poorly Buck would cope with his passing? Did he realise that he's not only protecting Chris from his patents, but also protecting Buck from himself?

Would Buck eat or shower or get out of bed after Eddie died, if he didn't have a child to raise? Would he keep going to work if he didn't need the money to support Chris? Would he let anyone in, talk to his friends or family or therapist, if he didn't know he had to keep himself stable for Chris' sake?

By putting custody in his will, Eddie made sure that Buck would be okay. No matter what.

I'm just having feelings about how Buck would probably let himself succumb to depression after Eddie died if he was left alone, but with Chris depending on him he'd make it work and pull through. And Eddie made sure that he would.

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Buck and Eddie the second any minor inconvenience happens at work:

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"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there