mickeysalamander

[mickeysalamander]

people have these “my dog is a democrat” stickers and I like to imagine them with increasingly unlikely animals professing more niche political opinions:

my parrot is a democratic socialist

my arctic fox is an anarchopastoralist

my catfish believes in the divine right of kings

[mickeysalamander]

endure the fire flakes & burn down the garden of eden

[mickeysalamander]

I still won't forget when my wisdom tooth got infected and couldn't sleep bc the pain was so bad and I took like 4 of those those blue gel ibuprofens and I finally fell asleep for a couple hours and kept having dreams about beautiful glowing blue animals that help you and I kept waking up thinking the blue animals will help me and realizing wait what are blue animals they aren't real and immediately falling back asleep thinking about the blue animals again

[mickeysalamander]

wish literally any gay papers would talk about lil nas x cause every article is either written with contempt OR makes sweeping assumptions by only quoting the cops and blatantly lies about things they contradict in their own article. like how is there no coverage of support or efforts to keep an eye on his location?

shortest possible story is that he he got arrested and hospitalized after walking around outside at night, MAYBE having 'an episode', MAYBE he was drunk, maybe he was high, maybe he was just being loud, who knows. Dude was outside at night in boxers and cowboy boots and that's all he did to "invite" police interaction.

But cops claimed he assaulted them so he gets arrested. Then goes to the hospital. Then goes back into custody.

And then he's not heard of for a while, then days later says he's out and okay. But facing FELONY charges!

WHERE IS EVERYONE? Pinknews cunts? Them? OutMag? Hello??

[mickeysalamander]

[mickeysalamander]

Silly dragon age drawing that hurts my eyes 😛

[mickeysalamander]

im going scaly mode

[mickeysalamander]

losing my mind. who wants to go to sturgeonfest with me. and also sponsor a sturgeon 👉👈

[mickeysalamander]

run, run!!

[mickeysalamander]

found this nefarious cube in my home. going to incinerate it out of an abundance of caution.

[mickeysalamander]

[mickeysalamander]

have you noticed that they don't even want you right clicking anymore

[mickeysalamander]

No, actually, i want cables and not bluetooth, i don't want touchscreens, i want buttons and knobs, i want to be able to take the battery out of my phone, i want to charge my phone and plug in head phones at the same time, i want a cd drive in my laptop and not have to buy an external drive, i want a car without a display, i want to turn on the lights with a switch not with my voice, i want to have a paper cinema ticket not a QR code, i want to listen to illegally burned music on a 00s cd player, i want to watch movies that i actually own, i want to read news once a day on paper, i want to aimlessly flick through magazines and not doomscroll on social media, i want to write emails and not talk to chatbots, i want to own stuff without hundreds of digital subscriptions, i want

[mickeysalamander]

byron donalds gave his life to christ in a cracker barrel parking lot. now you too can learn what religion you can convert to in a fast food restaurant parking lot by spinning these handy links!

[mickeysalamander]

Ur comfy swag too much they’ll kill you Solas….

[mickeysalamander]

island life

[mickeysalamander]

elephant trunk snakes are absolutely ridiculous. That's a creature alright.