midnight--fandoms

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people in books and tv shows are always getting so upset they throw an untouched meal in the trash. that would never be me. i'd receive the worst news of my life and still be like Let me put this in the fridge.

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when your stomach is really mad at you and you're not sure which one of your fourteen unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it

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me in my head at the supermarket: nobody is ever going to fucking love me. omg 25% off

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Mulligan you’ve DONE IT AGAIN 

Anyway if you haven’t started watching Neverafter, JOIN NOW HOLY SHIT.

Props to the entire cast - I love EVERYONE.  (yes I’m caught up, no do NOT post spoilers) 

[midnight--fandoms]

sorry i'm being an absent friend i'm being an absent self too

[midnight--fandoms]

Not immediately jumping to unsolicited advice when someone confides in you

Avoiding absolute statements when you do give someone advice. You do not know someone better than they know themself. All you can do is offer guidance. Thinking otherwise in any capacity is symptomatic of ego and lack of empathy.

Accepting the fallibility of being a person lol. A lot of people will say they “get angry” when they notice someone floundering, so their solution is to yell at them or get extremely cruel with their words. In this case you don’t have the capacity to give advice, and you would do more than damage than good in giving it.

Never using being honest as an excuse to be cruel

Asking your friend questions. Gently prompting them into the answer that fits them best. It is better than immediately giving commands as to their next step

Knowing that time and place matter. When someone is fresh off a difficult situation, the last thing they want to be slammed with is advice. They just want to be listened to. Active listening > advice in that scenario.

Kindness costs you 0. Not coddling someone ≠ being liberally rude to them under the guise of honesty

Asking yourself if you really have their best interest in mind or if you’re reacting out of a selfish place and disguising it as “caring” for your friend

Being patient …. Many people need to be told this

Is it emotional labor or are you just poisoned by therapy speak?? There does reach a reasonable point where we all hit the ceiling about “helping” our friend / finding it difficult to see them self sabotage / whatever the situation may be… but I feel like a lot of people forget what friendship really is tbh. Not everything is emotional labor. Taking a little bit out of your day to listen to a recurring issue isn’t the end of the world. I won’t harp on this too much bc people have varying limits, but I don’t like the weaponization of just being there for your friends these days

Remembering your compassion. We are all struggling all tripping out all trying to get it together. I just hate how some people don’t find it in them to empathize. If you can’t empathize then why are you trying to give advice? How do you expect to put yourself in their shoes? Compassion informs sound advice.

Asking yourself if you’re okay with being spoken to the way you’re speaking to someone right now, even if their excuse is just that they’re giving advice / trying to help. If you dish it but can’t take it, that’s a good sign you’re saying something fucked up

Delivery matters. A lot of people seem to forget this. Does it make it okay if someone is yelling at you / tearing into you / lambasting you with a “good” point? Like we all deserve a base foundation of respect and common decency. No one is wrong for centering their feelings in that scenario.

[midnight--fandoms]

i am full of love and also fatigue

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Detectorists, Series 2 (2015)

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I am not in the headspace to see rich people be happy

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I always feel so worried about anyone I know who's 22-23 because I know those ages are the most hyped up yet shatteringly lonely times for most young adults when they expect so much from themselves and have been set up to fail at the same time but don't see that yet because they did everything they were supposed to and have probably started to feel so lonely and don't understand why seeing friends is suddenly getting way harder and time is going faster than ever

Those are like the speed batting ages where you are swinging so hard so fast trying to get this and you're striking out and even when you do hit you realize your just running in a circle and it starts to weigh on you and no one else is acknowledging it.

If you're 22-23 it's okay keep going, please try and remember to eat and sleep well and that there's nothing for you to win at, and you're not done changing no matter how set things feel

[midnight--fandoms]

i don’t trust ai because arthur weasley told me to never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain

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I’m functioning. But like… in a haunted house kind of way.

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at the end of the day im the love i give, not the love i get

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can’t talk rn i’m busy overthinking a 2-word text from 6 hours ago

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ahhhh finally the weekend is beautiful and wide open ahead of me. surely this will be the weekend I finally get my whole life in order and do the twenty-seven things I've been putting off and fix my sleep schedule and make memories with friends and discover my purpose in this world. surely

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I bought some new Ikea furniture and five days later I still hadn't even opened the boxes. Procrastination often feels like there's this large Item in the middle of your mind that you keep pretending not to notice and going out of your way to avoid, but procrastinating on opening several huge boxes taking up space in your home makes this metaphor distressingly literal!

I was whining to a friend on the phone about my cowardice (I was sort of afraid of the furniture and the amount of steps required to build it) and how these large boxes were the material embodiment of procrastination and—she was affronted. She reminded me that she's one of those people who find building Ikea furniture super fun and she couldn't believe I hadn't invited her for this—it's a 5-hour round trip from where she lives but she announced that she was coming over. I was legitimately feeling a bit bad that in 20 years of friendship I had somehow failed to learn this fun fact about her, that she loves reading Ikea instructions and sorting through tiny pieces and different kinds of screws—what kind of neglectful friend am I that I didn't know that about her after all this time?

and it wasn't until she was sitting on the floor in front of me looking confused by instructions and insulting a drawer's mother as she tried to make it fit into a cabinet, that I realised she was actually here for me and not for my Ikea furniture. That she'd lied through her teeth and has zero qualifications for this activity but it's easier to say "I'm a world-class Ikea expert" than "you sound stressed about this so I'm coming to help you." And possibly she assumed I would have no trouble decoding what she meant. I felt very 🥰 but also a bit daft—if I were reading a book in which someone says "I have Ikea furniture to build and I am Dreading this task" and their friend said "Don't you dare do it without me, building Ikea furniture is my passion" and the first person went "Wow, really? I didn't know that about you!" I would think that this character is unrealistically thick. But it's me.