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[midsummernightwrites]

phoenix as your wife headcannons

pairing: natasha “phoenix” trace x female reader

word count: 1k

warnings: none this is just some fluffy headcannons about being married to the most beautiful female aviator 

Ever since you saw Lt. Natasha Trace across the way at the Hard Deck, you knew you wanted to marry her

You had been helping your friend Penny out by bartending on busier nights and when Phoenix walked in, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of her and you caught her checking you out more than once

The two of you talked throughout the night and she walked you home after your shift

From their you dated for a few years before you were engaged and married

Side headcannon for the proposal but you both decided you wanted to propose around the same time and were each planning your own proposal. The two of you went away on a weekend trip and Phoenix planned a sunrise hike for the two of you. At the top, she got down on one knee to ask you

Phoenix: “Y/N, when we first met, I didn’t know where our relationship would go. I never expected that you would completely change my world in so many ways. You’ve taught me so much about love and there is no one else I feel more myself around. You have brought so much light into my world and I want to be by your side for the rest of our lives. So, Y/N L/N, will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife and marry me?”

Much to her confusion, instead of answering right away, you knelt down with her, holding her hand in front of you while tears fell down your face. “Natasha, I would love nothing more than to be your wife, especially since I get to call you mine.”

You pulled out your own engagement ring and Phoenix started crying as well. You had planned to propose later on that morning by the gardens at your hotel but she beat you to it.

You put the rings on each other and cried and laughed

Everyone back home knew you were both planning on proposing and were anxiously waiting to see who got on one knee first

You had a small wedding with all your close family and friends and it was the perfect day

For your honeymoon, you went to Italy and spent half of the time being tourists together and the other half locked away in your rental on the Lake Como

You love spending any time you can together, especially since both of y’all can be busy with work

Every day that both of you are home around the same time, you go on a walk together by the beach and just talk about your days or even just enjoy quiet time together

You love your domestic life together and love being able to drink your coffee on the porch together in the morning and stay up late talking and cuddling in bed

You work out together when you can but Natasha is the more athletic one out of the two of you. You spend half the time just admiring how hot she and Phoenix knows it and definitely teases a bit

Natasha isn’t afraid to be protective over you and you always feel safe around her

Especially when she’s a bit tipsy, she likes showing others that you’re her girl

Her favorite thing is slipping her hand in your back pocket at the bar and whispering compliments and dirty thoughts in your ear

She loves to receive words of affirmation just as much as she likes to praise you

She practically melts when you go up to her and whisper in her ear how beautiful she is or how hot it was when she kicked hangman’s ass during pool

You told her once how inspiring she was and she cried

One thing Phoenix is grateful for is how vulnerable she can be around you

You both struggled with this at first when your relationship got more serious since she was used to being independent and acting tough around others and you had a more open personality and weren’t as hesitant with letting people see different sides of you

While you could always tell she was holding back a bit, there was on instance where you knew she wasn’t telling you something and she kept brushing your concern aside until you snapped

“This isn’t how a relationship is supposed to work Natasha! You need to be able to trust me and confide in me. I can’t help if you don’t let me in!”

You told her you had nothing more to say until she started trusting you more and then gave her the silent treatment

It was a bit petty you could admit but it got the job done

Now she really finds comfort in the fact that she can be so open with you and isn’t afraid to be

She loves to surprise you with your favorite things and is always coming home with your favorite flowers or some desserts from your favorite bakery or tickets to get away for the night at your favorite place

Since she used to struggle with verbally sharing how she felt, she likes to show it through her actions and you really appreciate how much thought and love she puts into all of her actions

Her favorite pet name for you used to be sunshine since you bring so much light into her life and it was reserved for when the two of you were alone

Now that you’re married she does love calling you Mrs. Trace when you’re alone

The two of you weren’t sure if you wanted to have kids and never really talked about it. You were both content with your jobs and your life together with the two of you

I feel like down the line if Natasha retired or switched to a teaching position in the Navy, you two would train and become foster parents because you have the resources to help kids in that position

If there was a situation where reunification wasn’t an option for a kiddo and adoption was the best solution, you two would do it after a lot of discussions around it mainly due to fear around being good adoptive parents

I picture you two adopting a middle school aged girl

You and Natasha balance each other so well and always support one another and you can’t imagine a life without your wife by your side

[midsummernightwrites]

y’all are too sweet thank y’all so much for all the love you’ve shown my little blog and my writing so far

i’m working on a few phoenix x reader pieces now and have some more for rooster planned out!

[midsummernightwrites]

scream and shout

pairing: bradley “rooster” bradshaw x reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: pretty angsty, they both fight and yell and swear and say some harsh things, reader is insecure about some stuff, they do make up in the end so yay happy endings

summary: roos didn’t come like he promised you he would and maybe you can understand why he wasn’t there but it still doesn’t stop the angry words and hurt feelings from exploding when he returns home 

notes: i stayed up way too late writing this in one sitting and i quite like how it turned out so enjoy

As you left the school alone, you couldn’t remember another time you had been this upset with your husband. 

Both of you hated fighting and while you bickered every now and then like all couples do, you prided yourselves on your ability to talk things through before they built up to an explosive argument and extremely hurt feelings. 

But right now, as you tried not to cry while digging through your bag for your keys, all you could think about was what you’d say to Rooster once you saw him. 

“For fucks sake,” you swore as your keys fell from your grasp to the asphalt. When you bent down to get them, you felt your phone buzz with a text. 

roos: honey i’m so sorry training just wrapped up

roos: can i still meet you at the school? 

You scoffed as you climbed into your car, tossing your bag in the passenger seat. You debated ignoring his text all together, but the humiliating thought of Rooster showing up and going inside when the meeting was well over was enough to get you to reply. Nick’s teachers were probably already questioning your ability as parents, you didn’t need to give them anything more to think about. 

y/n: already finished

y/n: see you at home

Bradley tried to call twice on your drive home, but you just ignored him. You were barely holding your tears back as it was.

You beat Bradley home, thank god. Since Nick was currently at Penny and Mav’s place, you decided to take advantage of the quiet house. A part of you hoped that maybe after cleaning and tidying up, you’d be a bit more calm and clear headed. 

When Bradley walked in halfway through you emptying the dishwasher, you knew that wasn’t the case. 

“Baby, I am so sorry I missed the meeting. We were running some flight tests and things just ran over and-” 

“I don’t wanna fucking hear it Bradley,” You cut him off, slamming the cabinet shut a bit too loudly. “You should have been there.”

“Y/N, I know I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to miss it, I really wanted to be there.” Bradley’s voice remained calm, but it was clear he was thrown off by your reaction. He dropped his bags and stepped closer into the kitchen. 

You grabbed another plate to put away. It felt a bit childish, but you didn’t want to look at him yet. You wanted to act like you didn’t care enough to stop what you were doing and talk with him about it. A teeny tiny part of you wanted to make him feel as disrespected as you felt and that part of you was in control.

“Yeah right,” you mumbled, drying the excess water before putting the dish in the right spot. When you turned back, Bradley had moved closer, standing on the other side of the kitchen island. 

“What is going on Y/N? I didn’t plan on missing the meeting, stuff came up at work, and I’m really sorry I wasn’t there,” Bradley explained, his eyes trying to meet yours as you looked down at the still open dishwasher. “Why are you acting like I did this on purpose?”

“Because it honestly wouldn’t surprise me if you did!” You snapped, crossing your arms as you finally looked at your husband. “I mean, for fucks sake Bradley we rescheduled this conference three times after work stuff kept coming up. What am I supposed to think?”

“You can’t be serious.” Bradley’s tone dropped as your words made their desired impact. 

“Of course I am! I felt like a fucking idiot walking into that school alone tonight. We waited fifteen minutes before getting started and you still didn’t show. Do you know how humiliating that felt? After already canceling and rescheduling so many other times just so you could be there and then you still don’t even fucking show up! Forgive me for thinking you didn’t care!” Your voice got louder with every word until you were shouting by the end. 

“That’s fucking ridiculous Y/N, you know I care,” Bradley snapped, his arms matching your position. “You know what my job is like, a lot of it is out of my control. I can’t always be there even when I want to be, you know that.” 

“Oh yeah, just use your job as an excuse again.” You rolled your eyes. “It’s always the Navy’s fault, never yours.”

“It’s how my job is Y/N and you knew this going in!”

“I didn’t think it would mean picking up all the pieces and doing the majority of the parenting. I didn’t think it meant being the only one to attend these meetings or schedule his appointments-”

“If you were so mad about all this extra work why didn’t you say anything!”

“Because I shouldn't have to tell you! I shouldn’t have to tell you to care, to be there. You should know to be there at Nick’s fucking parent teacher conferences, especially when they’re telling you that your son might need testing to see if he has a learning disability!” 

“What?” Bradley’s arms fell to his side as he processed your last statement. 

“Yeah, they wanna try to get him on a 504 or an IEP. They think he might have dyslexia, maybe ADHD,” You didn’t notice Bradley start to walk around the counter as you continued your rant. “They explained in depth all the reasons and signs they were observing at the meeting, which you would know if you were there.”

“What, what does that even mean? What’s a 504 or IEP?” You rolled your eyes and Bradley snapped before you could share your next jab. “God, I’m so fucking sorry I don’t know what those terms mean. I’m not a teacher like you, I don’t know this shit off the top of my head.”

“Yeah and that’s why you should be there so you’d know that they’re freaking government protected learning plans to help Nick because he’s struggling that much in the classroom.” You took a small step back as Bradley got closer. You didn’t want him to get too close because it meant he might start to see the cracks in the walls you were trying so hard to put up and hide the real insecurity powering this fight. 

“Okay, look, I’m sorry I wasn’t there, obviously if I had known there were these concerns I would have been there.” Bradley has paused a few feet away.

“Yeah, well, you should have-”

“What Y/N? I should have seen all the signs, I should have known he was struggling at school? I get it, you don’t think I care, but you weren’t talking about any of this to me either. Did you pick up on it, did you know?” 

“No Bradley I didn’t! I know, I’m a horrible excuse for a mother. I didn’t fucking see any signs that my kid was struggling even though I see them all the time with my own students. I was just as thrown off during that meeting and looked like a failure for not seeing that my own son needed help.”

You brushed your hair back in frustration and made the mistake of looking over towards your husband. 

You looked Bradley in the eyes and saw the recognition there. You knew he was starting to see the deeper issue, the real reason behind your fight and you didn’t want to deal with that, not now. 

“Look, just go change and pick up Nick from Maverick’s so I can finish the dishes,” you muttered, turning to put a glass away. 

“What? No. Hey, Y/N, we’re not done talking about this.” You barely recognized the softer tone of his voice as you tried to ignore his attempt to make his way closer again.

“Oh my god, yes we are!” 

You slammed the glass cup against the counter and it shattered. Glass spread all across the countertop and fell to the floor in tiny pieces. You took one step back as you heard Bradley mutter “shit.”

Fuck this evening was a disaster. 

You didn’t even realize you were crying until Bradley was right in front of you, brushing your tears away. “Did you get hurt sweetheart?”

He gently grabbed your hands, looking them over for any cuts or pieces of glass. You tugged them away, shaking your head. 

“No, god, Bradley, I’m, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean any of that, I can’t believe I even said some of those things, you’re such a great father and I, fuck, I’m so sorry.” 

Each apology or phrase was broken up by a hiccup as you continued to cry. You cried because the glass was broken and made a mess. You cried because of all the things you said to the man you loved. You cried because you didn’t know your son was struggling. 

“Hey, hey honey, look at me.” Bradley waited a second for you to meet his gaze before wiping your tears again. “I forgive you, I’m sorry too.”

He pulled you closer as you started to weep more. You cried into his shoulder as his hand created soothing patterns up and down your back. You felt him take exaggerated deep breaths to try and help your body calm down. After a few minutes, once you felt calmer, he continued your conversation. 

“Here’s what we’re gonna do,” he spoke softly. “We’re gonna finish cleaning up the kitchen and then we’re both going to get changed into something comfier. I’ll text Maverick and ask if Nick can stay there for a little longer and then we’ll go on a walk and talk about all of this with clearer heads, okay?”

You nodded and felt Bradley place a soft kiss on your head. As you broke away to finish cleaning up the mess, you knew that everything would work out. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too Y/N.”

[midsummernightwrites]

please baby, for me?

pairing: bradley “rooster” bradshaw x reader

word count: .9k

warnings: none!

summary: the morning before leaving on a family vacation, bradley reminds you how whipped he really is for you

note: this was supposed to be quick little 400 word drabble but it grew a bit longer than planned so enjoy

In your defense, you had told Rooster you both needed to finish packing the night before. It wasn’t your fault that he put on your favorite song and asked for a dance. You couldn’t control your actions once his hands trailed down your back and his soft kisses moved away from your lips to your neck.

So, really, it was his fault the two of you were scrambling to finish packing an hour before you had to leave for your flight.

“Got our passports,” Rooster announced as he rejoined you in the living room.

“Perfect, do you think this will be enough sun screen?” You held up the two bottles from your spot on the floor beside your suitcase.

“Yeah, that’s plenty and besides, it’s not like they,” Bradley paused, looking around the table. “Where are the car keys?”

“What do you mean? They’re next to my bag.”

“Uh, nope, they are not,” He lifted up your bag for extra emphasis, waving his hand over the empty table.

“They probably just fell, it’s fine,” You barely glanced at the empty table as you went off to grab the next items on your checklist.

“It won’t be fine when we try to leave in an hour,” He turned back towards you, “Will you help me find them?”

“Baby, if we don’t finish packing we won’t be going anywhere in an hour.” You shook your head while packing your raincoats away. “Let’s just finish packing together and then look for them, alright.”

“Sweetheart, we both know that if we’re about to leave and the keys still aren’t found, you’ll go into a panic,” he shot you a knowing look as he dug through the couch cushions.

You opened your mouth to respond, but quickly closed it when you remembered he wasn’t wrong. You took a deep breath, reminding yourself that you were both just stressed about getting yourselves and your child out the door in less than an hour.

“Alright, how about this? I’ll keep packing and you keep looking for the keys and whoever finishes their job first helps the other.” You made sure to smile as he looked over, knowing he couldn’t say no.

Rooster sighed before nodding and continuing his search through the living room. The two of you worked in mostly silence as you embarked on your tasks. He explored every nook and cranny of your living room and found some toys your son thought he lost but no keys. You worked through the checklist you had and maybe you overpacked just a bit but at least it was getting done.

“Have you seen Nick’s other swimsuit? Once that’s packed we should be all set.” You looked up from your list to see your husband halfway under the coffee table and couldn’t stop the snort that slipped out.

“I’ll tell you if you tell me where the car keys are.”

“Oh come on Roos, I already told you I don’t know where they ended up. I’ll be done packing once I find his suit so just...” A noise from the second floor of your home made you pause. As soon as you heard your son stand up in his room, you blurted out “Dibs!”

“What? What do you…” Bradley looked up in confusion until he heard your son’s steps as well. “No! No way, not happening.” He quickly jumped up and started after you.

You felt his arms wrap around your waist and pull you to a stop. “No, Bradley I called dibs!”

He twisted you around so you were facing him. “Y/N, I did not crawl around our living room for twenty minutes just for you to help Nick get ready and skip out on the search. I’ll go up and get him ready while you take your turn searching for the keys.”

You pouted up at him, gently placing your hands atop his and slowly moving your thumb up and down in a soothing manner. “Please baby? I swear for the rest of our vacation I will do anything you want. I’ll take care of Nick on the plane and get up early with him if you want to sleep in. I will do any cheesy touristy excursion you wanna go on. Please, please just let me go help Nick.”

You made sure to end your plea with a soft kiss on the lips followed by another soft please. Rooster closed his eyes for a second and once you heard his soft sigh, you knew you were getting your way.

“Fine,” he mumbled. Your face lit up and you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for another quick kiss.

“Oh baby you are the best!” You smiled as you pulled away, already making your way towards the stairs. “The most amazing husband ever. Everything is mostly packed so just find the keys and his swim trunks.”

“Got it honey,” Rooster shook his head as he said his response, but you knew from the soft smile on his face that he really didn’t mind.

“Really, you are so freaking amazing,” you praised as you blew him another kiss. “I really will do whatever when we’re on our trip, I swear. And, if you want, I will totally.” You paused to mouth the phrase you didn’t want your innocent son to hear. “Anytime, like anytime and as many times as you want. Cause I love you, so so much.”

Bradley chuckled as you disappeared from his sight. He appreciated all your promises in exchange for getting to be off key hunting duty, but they weren’t necessary.

The moment you had said “please baby,” he knew he couldn’t say no to you. He never could.

“Damn, Hangman was right. I am whipped.”

[midsummernightwrites]

dating rooster, phoenix, and hangman headcannons

pairing: bradley “rooster” bradshaw x jake “hangman” sersin x natasha “phoenix” trace x female reader

word count: 1.5k (i did not plan for this to be that long but i love this pairing and got carried away)

warnings: some brief bullets about sex but nothing graphic or described in detail, mostly just fluff with a bit of angst thrown in about what it’d be like to be in a poly relationship with these three

note: i love all three of them so much- this will hopefully be the first of a few poly ships i explore on this blog

okay so the four of you met/connected/got together when they were all called back to top gun

you were maverick’s only daughter and were home on break from your own job so you decided to visit and spend some time with your dad when he wasn’t teaching

i like to imagine you work for the government in some capacity but in some form of intelligence whether that’s an analyst position or forensics or my personal favorite choice as an agent for the cia or fbi

you all met that first night at the hard deck

you knew bradley from your childhood and were excited to reconnect with him when you realized he was there and then you saw natasha and jake and you thought you had died and gone to heaven

you were very attracted to all three of them instantly and felt a connection with them as the night went on

the others felt the same way but were way more hesitant about their feelings, especially towards their fellow aviators

natasha couldn’t take your eyes off of you as you played pool beside jake and was very thrown off when her gaze kept being pulled towards the way he wrapped his arms around yours to help you

bradley couldn’t get enough of your loud drunken laughter and found the sound even more addicting when it mixed with natasha’s

jake was very jealous when he saw how engaged you were in a conversation with bradley and how both of you kept not-so-subtly checking the other out but was thrown off when he couldn’t figure out which one of you he was jealous of

the four of you kept spending time together, first in large groups then breaking off into pairs and eventually just the four of you a few times

it helped that the three of them were able to grow closer during training as well and figure out their individual dynamics with each other

you four have always made it a priority to develop and work on your relationship as a whole and with each other individually

even though all of you clearly felt something was there, you were the one to initiate that conversation

the night before they left, you took time to see them all of three of them individually and kissed them for the first time and then pulled them all to the beach and explained how you felt

“I like all three of you, I know all three of you like me and I’m guessing you also like each other so here’s the deal. you’re going to go on your mission tomorrow, succeed, and then you’ll come back to me and we’ll figure this all out together.”

the three of them all kissed each other and talked before they returned- bradley and natasha kissed the night before they flew, jake and natasha kissed immediately after she landed when they didn’t know what happened to bradley, and jake and bradley kissed after bradley made it back

once they all returned, you four talked and went on your first date and you’ve been together ever since

you all kept going on group dates and partner dates and just fell more and more in love with each other

they were so nervous to tell maverick but you weren’t nervous at all since you knew your father just wanted you to be happy

plus he totally saw how all of you looked at each other and knew you’d all end up together

after they left top gun, they all got transferred to the same base (which totally wasn’t your dad pulling strings to help your budding relationship that’d be ridiculous) so you were able to move in together relatively quickly

you all just fit together really well and balance the others out

you like to spend as much time as you can together, especially given the nature of your jobs. you never know how much time you’ll have before they’re deployed or you’re sent on a classified mission across the globe so you cherish anytime you have together

all four of you enjoy lazy nights at your house where you cook dinner together and listen to music and play board games and end the night snuggling together on the couch

at one point in the night, there will be some dancing, usually initiated by bradley, and it isn’t uncommon to end your board games early when some of you get a little too competitive

monopoly is permanently banned from your household

you also enjoy going out together, whether it's to a local bar or the beach or a new restaurant. you never stay out as long as you plan to cause eventually one or more of you just wants to go home and have sex and you are all awful at denying each other anything

you have all teased each other at one point or another in public just to get them to leave early

one time the three of them were deployed together and were finally coming home after a few months away. you talked with them as much as you could but god you missed them

so you were a little upset when they proposed that you all went out to hard deck when they returned so they could see some of their other friends who also happened to be returning stateside/in town. they were excited to see them so you couldn’t say no but god you wanted to be anywhere but there

so to make it a bit more fun, you just happened to wear a low cut, short, white sundress that you knew would drive them mad

one of them consistently had their hands on you all night and you felt their eyes on you at all times

it wasn’t until some sailor tried to hit on you at the bar that they really couldn’t wait anymore and promptly left the bar

you could barely walk the next day but it was fine it was worth it

all four of you were protective of one another but those three were especially protective over you

you honestly didn’t mind it. they didn’t do it because they doubted your ability to defend yourself but because they really cared for you. plus, with your work, there were plenty of times where you were alone with no one but yourself to protect you so you liked having them there to protect you

the four of you don’t fight often. when you do, it’s typically between two of you and you try to just let the two individuals work it out on their own. you don’t ever want it to feel like it’s three against one so you all really try to practice good communication and just talk things out before they escalate

you aren’t perfect so there have been times where you’ve had bigger fights between all of you

one of the worst was when the three of them were upset about a mission you were going on. you had been sent home a week earlier due to injuries and once you were cleared by the doctor, your handler was sending you right back to finish the job

they were terrified you’d get hurt again and you knew that you could handle yourself. the fight quickly escalated and ended with you stating that you couldn’t be with people who don’t think you can take care of yourself before storming out the door to go stay at your dad’s

you gave them the silence treatment for the rest of the day, ignoring all their calls and texts. it wasn’t until they showed up at maverick’s place and your dad forced the four of you to sit together until you worked it out that you spoke to them and made up

you all have so many pet names for each other. At first you tried to assign each of you specific pet names so you wouldn’t get confused but that practice faded quickly. Now it's just a guessing game as to who the other is referring to

bradley: “hey babe!”

jake, natasha, & y/n: “what honey?”

eventually down the line, I feel like you would retire from work so that y’all could start a family

it was something the four of you didn’t talk about often at the beginning, but as time went on it was clear the four of you wanted a family together in some way shape or form

when you found out you were pregnant on a mission, you quickly wrapped that up and put in your paperwork to leave so you could take care of your kids

the four of you have at least two kids, if not three or four

you love being a stay at home mom and the others are amazing parents. you may spoil your kids a bit but they would never doubt that they were loved

you always plan something with your kids to welcome the others back after they come home from deployment.

the four of you are 100% soulmates and are so happy with the little family you’ve created together

[midsummernightwrites]

just wanted to pop on here and say thanks for all the love on my first rooster fic!

i haven’t shared my writing anywhere in a long time and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to see the love y’all are giving the fic. i didn’t expect to get any notes on the piece, let another over 200.

im working on some top gun headcannons and another rooster fic now so stay tuned

[midsummernightwrites]

hello and welcome to my little blog! 

my name is jules and i use she/her pronouns and im currently in college. i’ve always loved writing and have been trying to get back into writing lately so this is a place to just share what i make and post little snippets and ideas

my main and where i follow from is @fa11lenfl0wers 

i am currently obsessed with/mainly writing for top gun maverick 

while requests are open, i may not write something if i don’t have inspiration or its not something im comfortable with. however, i will try my best to write your requests so please feel to send any thoughts or ideas into my ask box!

below the cut you’ll find my masterlist and works in progress

masterlist

top gun maverick

moments while you’re away (bradley “rooster” bradshaw x female reader)

please baby, for me (bradley “rooster” bradshaw x reader)

scream & shout (bradley “rooster” bradshaw x reader)

phoenix as your wife headcannons (natasha “phoenix” trace x female reader)

dating rooster, phoenix, and hangman headcannons (poly relationship x female reader)

works in progress

my hero (natasha “phoenix” trace x wife!reader, phoenix visits your classroom and inspires every single child in the room, very fluffy)

kiss me and show me i’m yours (bradley “rooster” bradshaw x female reader, five times rooster kissed you and made you fall in love all over again)

[midsummernightwrites]

moments while you’re away

pairing: bradley ‘rooster’ bradshaw x female reader

word count: 2.3k

summary: You always missed Bradley when he was deployed so you start writing him notes while he’s away. You don’t send them, but they make you feel like he’s still around when he’s hundreds of miles away. // small moments where Y/N (and eventually their son Nick too) writes letters to Bradley about what he’s missing while he’s away

warnings: none that i can think of, it’s mostly fluff with some small moments of angst. 

It was never easy when Bradley was away on deployment.

From early on, you struggled when he was gone. You missed him beside you as you slept. You longed for his laughter to fill the room as you made breakfast in the home you made together. No reassurances could quell the lingering anxiety that filled your stomach anytime you imagined what he was doing miles away.

You never wanted to add to his worry so you tried to cope with him being away as best you could. You tried tennis and pilates and other physical activities to try and distract your heart. You invested in knitting needles and a new yoga mat with a matching workout set but none of it helped when you returned to your empty house.

Nothing seemed to work until you started writing notes one late September night.

Bradley had been gone for a week and wasn’t due home for at least two more. You were distracted with the start of the new school year but had so much you wanted to tell him about your new classroom of third graders. There were always so many stories you wanted to share with him, but the phone calls were never long enough and you occupied yourself with other activities as soon as he returned.

So, you decided to write them down and put them somewhere safe so that you could share them once he was home.

Hi Roos,

You helped me earn some cool teacher cred with my students today…

“Ms. Y/L/N, look! I made a plane!” one student excitedly shared as you walked around during their free play time.

“Wow, that’s amazing my friend!” you replied, pausing at their desk. “Did you know my friends are pilots?”

“Really?”

“Yup! They fly jets for the Navy,” you shared, “They go super fast and travel all over the world to help protect us.”

“You know real life pilots? Are you lying Ms. Y/L/N?” another student chimed in.

“I’m telling the truth, I promise,” you laughed, “Remind me to show you all some pictures during our share time tomorrow.”

“Can we meet them? I wanna see a real life pilot!”

“Can we go on the planes?”

After the first note, it became routine to write these small letters to Bradley. You kept them in a box underneath your bed and over the years, as your relationship grew, the box became full of scribbled messages and short letters.

Bradley,

You haven’t called or texted me in four days and I’m so scared. I’m trying to believe that you’re just busy or can’t be on your phone for some stupid classified reason but I’m so terrified that something bad happened. I really hate your job right now and I really need you to tell me that you’re okay.

You checked your phone every five seconds. You tried to distract yourself with the latest episode of the Bachelor but even trashy reality tv couldn’t take your mind off the intense fear you felt as you still didn’t hear from him.

Was he already dead? Had he already left you? You couldn’t stop the what if scenarios as they swirled around and around in your head. You had to hide in the staff restroom during lunch when you couldn’t hold your tears in any longer. He had never gone this long without contacting you, not without warning or an explanation before.

“It’ll be fine, he’s fine,” you repeated to yourself as you held back tears. You couldn’t stop fidgeting with the necklace he had gifted you for your one year anniversary and you were running on limited sleep since your dreams had quickly turned to nightmares about all the potential ways Bradley was hurt.

You heard a car pull up and your heart started racing. Was this that moment? The moment when you heard a knock at the door and opened it to find two strangers in a uniform who’d deliver the worst news of your life.

God he couldn’t be gone, not yet.

Instead of a knock, you heard the front door unlock. You jumped up as it opened, and nearly burst into tears at the sight of Rooster walking through the door.

“You’re home,” you muttered, your body moving on auto pilot as you jumped into his arms. He was okay, he was here, he was home.

“I missed you so much baby,” Bradley held you tight, pressing soft kisses on your head as you buried your face in his neck. As much as you never wanted to leave the comfort of his hold, you couldn’t stop the lingering anxiety in your stomach.

“What happened?” You demanded as you pulled back. “You didn’t answer any of my texts or even tell me you were coming home. I thought, I mean, god Bradley, I was so worried.”

Your voice shook slightly as a few more tears escaped. The guilt on his face was blurry, but still there as he set you down next to him on the couch.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart, so fucking sorry,” He wiped your tears away, placing soft kisses on your lips between his apologies. “There were some issues with our mission and I broke my phone and service was bad the whole way back to base and I should have found a way to let you know I was okay but I just wanted to get home to you and hold you in my arms. I won’t ever go that long without letting you know first, I promise.”

“It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re home,” you cut off his rambling with a kiss. “I’m just happy you're here with me again.”

Dear Bradley,

I miss you whenever you leave, but it’s especially hard now that I’m reminded of you anytime I look at the ring on my finger. Penny tried to distract me today but it didn’t work too well…

“Y/N, are you still there?” Penny’s voice pulled you away from the tiny details on your engagement ring.

“Hmm?’ You looked up across the bar at her. “Sorry, I zoned out a bit there.”

“I could tell,” Penny replied. It was a quiet night at the Hard Deck so you stopped by to keep Penny company. It helped that she was typically able to distract you and you frequented the bar more when he was gone. “Have you two talked about what you want to do?”

“Not much yet.” You twisted the ring around on your finger. “I want it to be outside, I think. I’m going to start looking for my dress once Natasha is back stateside. But, we don’t have many details yet. I want Bradley to be here to help.”

“He’ll be happy as long as you're happy.”

“I know, but I want it to be perfect, for the both of us.”

Dear Roos/Dad,

Well, aren’t you lucky? Now you get letters from your two favorite people on the planet. Nick has really been missing you lately so I decided to share this secret with him. He’s so excited to write to you.

“It’s not fair,” Nick muttered, his arms crossed as he refused to look at you. He instead kept his gaze locked on the porch step below him. You sat a couple inches away, wanting to be there for him while also giving him some space to work through how he felt.

“It’s not fair, you’re right.” Nick was getting older and as he did, his understanding of his father’s job grew as well. He was no longer content with the short answers about how dad was protecting others in his plane and would be home before he knew it.

Today, he had returned from school with a scowl on his face. You didn’t have to wait long for him to share the reason behind his anger. One of his friends at school had brought up how a relative of theirs had died while deployed and had gone into too much detail for a second grader. Nick was not happy to learn how much danger his father was really in when he was away. He yelled, and screamed and demanded that his daddy come home. He stomped away to the backyard when you answered that it wasn’t that simple.

He was angry, he was scared and it broke your heart.

“I don’t want him to go away anymore,” Nick mumbled a few moments later. “What if he doesn’t come back?”

“Come here honey,” You opened your arms and Nick fell right into them, a few tears escaping. “I know it’s scary, I still get scared every time dad goes away. I promise you, he will always try to come home to us. He loves you so much.”

“But what if something bad happens?”

“I’m not going to lie honey, there is a chance something bad could happen. Your dad is doing everything he can to be safe. Plus, he has your Uncle Jake and Aunt Natasha and Uncle Bob and so many other people looking out for him. They’ll help keep him safe.” You ran your hand through his hair as you tried to comfort your son.

“I miss him.” You tightened your arms around your boy.

“I do too.” You gave your son a few moments to get his tears out before sharing your next idea. “Can we make a deal?”

After a few seconds, you felt your son nod.

“When your dad comes home, you can ask him any questions you want about his job, okay? Maybe we can even go see some of the planes again. Will that help you feel better?”

“Can Grandpa Pete come see the planes with us too?”

“I’m sure he would love to,” You smiled as your son looked up at you, his tears almost gone. “Do you want to know what I like to do when I miss your dad?”

“What?”

“It’s a secret, one that not even dad knows.” Nick’s face lit up at the thought of knowing a secret not even his own father knew. “Can you handle that?”

“Yes, I can! I promise!”

“When your dad is away, I like to write him notes. I write down different stories and things I want to tell him and it makes me feel better.”

“Can I write dad a note?” Nick asked.

“Of course you can, why don’t we go write some together?” You held out your hand and led Nick back inside.

“Can I draw him a picture too?”

“I’m sure he would love that.”

While you always intended to share the notes with Bradley once he returned, it slipped your mind once he was home again. You’d get distracted and over time, you found you liked keeping the letters for yourself (and Nick). It was a way for you to keep him close to you while he was away. It was your little secret.

It wasn’t until one spring day that your secret came out. The two of you were deep cleaning the house while Nick played with the newest model plane Maverick had gifted him. You hadn’t even thought of your box of notes until Bradley pulled it out from its hiding spot.

“What’s this?” Bradley asked, setting the box on the bed. You turned from your spot in the closet to see him opening the box.

“Oh, it’s nothing. It’s kind of silly, honestly.” You blushed a bit as he pulled out one of the many notes in the box.

“Are these notes written to me?” Bradley asked as you made your way over to him.

“Yeah, they are. I started writing them when I missed you while you were away and it helped so I just kept writing them.” You sat next to him on the bed, leaning against him as he brushed his hand through the hundreds of notes in the box. “Nick’s written a couple too.”

“He has?” Bradley’s face lit up at that. “Can I read them? Is that okay?”

“Yeah, if you want to. I mean, I originally planned on giving them to you, but you always distracted me with other activities once you got home. I know it’s silly, but it always helped when I missed you.”

“It’s not silly,” Bradley turned towards you, taking your hand in his. “I talk to you when I’m away, well, to your picture I guess.”

“You do?” Your mouth fell open a little bit at his confession. You knew he missed you while he was gone. He talked to you as much as he was allowed and kept at least two pictures of you and Nick in his flight suit pocket. You don’t know why, but you hadn’t expected him to confess to having a routine like your note writing.

“Yeah, sometimes when I miss you and I can’t sleep, I look at a picture of you and just tell you about my day. It helps me too.” He rubbed his thumb up and down your hand as he shared and you couldn’t help but place a soft kiss on his lips.

“I’m glad we’re both extremely obsessed with each other.” You smiled as Bradley turned back towards the box.

“How many are in here?” Bradley laughed, pulling another note that you had written back when you were only dating.

“I don’t know, a lot.” You laughed with him, not even hearing your son’s footsteps until his gasp was heard from the doorway.

“Mom, you told dad our secret!”

“I didn’t tell him, honey, he found the box.” Nick ran over to the bed, gently placing his new toy down when Bradley picked him up.

“I can’t believe you kept a secret from me, little man!” Nick laughed as Bradley swung him around in his arms before placing him in his lap. “Can I see some of the drawings you put in here? Will you show me?”

“Yeah!”

While you were happy you could always write him a note or letter when he was gone, nothing was better than the memories you made together when he was home safe and sound.