Last Seen Blogs
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01 March 2020, 5:14 PM, Dorm Living Room
Sucks to be this mediocre!!! Fuuucc i wanna cry
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3 January 2020, 1:40 PM, Leaning against the yall cabinet
I told myself no more keeping people on the hook, no more playing with other people's emotions. But here I am kinda sad because I'm gonna stop talking to someone I enjoy talking to. He's nice. Really nice. And he seems to like me a lot. But I guess it's really not enough or maybe I'm just too afraid. Akala ko ba more taking risks?? Hay micah here you are contradicting yourself again. But maybe I'm just playing with his emotions so maybe it's a good thing that I'm drawing the boundaries?? You kinda suck though because you already made him cry more than once. I think that's enough playing around.
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29 December 2019, 12:56 PM, Bedroom
Some year-end special haha what's new? So fucking tired though. Kinda miss my crowd. So fucking tired. Somebody take me away. So fucking tired. How do u cry without a sound, without struggling to catch one's breath? I am so fucking tired. Probably all my fault though, I mean what's new? Always been a horrible person right? Always. Always tired. Always bad. Always.
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25 Dec 2019, 3:45 PM, Living room fucken ugly crying because of some hotdog
Ah the usual dilemma of figuring out if I was emotionally abused during my childhood or I just have a serious attitude problem
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5 December 2019, 11:45 PM, Bangkal
I miss you.
(Pero para kaya kinsa ba na?)
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12 October 2019, 11:30 PM
I am not fan of cramped spaces. In fact, I find them really uncomfortable. But there is something about corners and nooks you can kinda snuggle in to like a fort. It's like a make shift panic room panic space. Sometimes, it makes me feel secured. Sometimes, it makes me think about all the what could have been's and the what if's and all those imaginary moment that I wish would happen but I know are impossible. Most of the time the latter ones are sad times, lonely times. I'd like to get away from this corner though, even though I know I'd probably won't find the strength to do so, even though this is where the safest I'd ever feel. Sometimes I wonder how it feels to be truly free, to hide behind walls, to be open, to be vulnerable, to fully feel.
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29 September 2019, 2:43 PM
I am afraid to be on the person's shoes one day but I am even more mortified to know that I'm wearing the shoes of the people who placed that person on that spot for majority of my life. I can't even make an excuse if it was a conscious action or not... it was still unacceptable. I hope I'll change. I hope I'll grow. I hope I'll be accountable. I hope everyone will.
Rest up. Maybe there is nothing wrong with stepping back just for a little while.
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26 September 2019, Bangkal, 8:20 PM
My attempts to compartmentalize my life has led me to a life with somewhat numerous "realities". I am most engaged with my work life right now as I am pretty much living in same neighborhood where my office is located and for the most part, I am enjoying it. There are "realities" that I don't have to deal with that often since they are physically far away but sometimes, when they decide to check up on me, it dawns that there are realities I enjoy more. Realities I'd like to stay in longer... "realities", that for me, the most ideal. "Realities" that I wish were my only "realities". But it seems like an asshole move. People I care about deeply are also part of the "realities" I don't like that much, "realities" that drains me off everytime it comes around the corner or decides to check up on me for a minute. Is it really that easy for me to cut people off? I am that heartless?
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a16 September 2019, 9:34 pm
Hey. I mean I’m all for the people rooting for me but am I not allowed to settle for something mediocre? can I just be the okay kind of thing or maybe a little less than okay. can I just be something I feel like I can achieve right now? I never thought I had this emotional stress building up. Joke who am I kidding, I’ve been feeling like this for the past months. Work has just been successfully distracting lately. I mean I’m not complaining. It’s good that I’m getting distracted. This free time allows me to feel things. I don’t like to feel things.
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16 September 2019, 9:28 pm
Putangina gusto ko lang umiyak. Give me a crying space shuta
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16 September 2019, 9:18 pm, Bangkal
I’m sorry. I sound so privilege. It’s just the reality that I have been avoiding for a while comes back in waves and I thought I was equipped for it but who am I kidding? when was I really equipped for something haha joke’s on me
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16 September 2019, 9:13 pm, Bangkal
Suddenly missed having a room for myself. Felt like being breaking down. Already breaking down. Can I just live for myself? Can I live in my own terms? Can I not be someone that other people depend on?
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15 August 2019
Wow micah u really have a problem in processing being called out huh. Fix that please. Suck it up. Change to be better!!! Let yourself breathe as well, don't punish yourself!!! Utang na loob :(((
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14 August 2019
Today is not the first day of work but it's like the kinda legit non orientation first day and i was just want to say that even if I was pretty much sleepy more half of the day, I really enjoyed it. It kinda felt legit??? And like my position is i think a hit forgiving when it comes to mistakes compared to other jobs and i think that's what i need at this point of my life. I hope I'll get along with everyone, keep on enjoying and hopefully excel in whatever work i do hehe and also stay awake and alert without coffee...
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08 August 2019, 9:49 PM
Confused by how some people are acting but maybe I'm just overreading. However, if my guesses turn out to be true, my my this is not my cup of tea
Edit if ever u forget the context future micah: some people in our life are acting weird, acting out of character. Or maybe we are just overthinking. Maybe there are no lines to read in between of. We are all just friends, right?
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05 August 2019, 10:46 PM
ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗᶦᵐᵉˢ... ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗᶦᵐᵉˢ ᶦ ʲᵘˢᵗ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ʰᵘᵍᵍᵉᵈ
why are u softposting?
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31 July 2019, 10:48 PM, Balara
Just a little blue. Just a little lonely. Just a little... right?
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