mikeesmike

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It's Been A While

I can’t believe it’s been almost four years since my last blog post. Time literally flew away over that course of time. Some would say that they did not feel the years that have passed during the pandemic. It was literally three years of waiting, anticipating, and hoping that the nightmare will all be over. The possibility of that happening is like having your arms stretched out in a very dark…

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How We Were Able to Fetch My Sister from Manila during MECQ

How We Were Able to Fetch My Sister from Manila during MECQ

My sister got stranded in Manila during the Enhanced Community Quarantine. Ever since the beginning of ECQ, we’ve always wanted to fetch her there but we can’t due to the heightened situation in NCR. When the government declared Modified ECQ, we knew that this is our chance to gather the requirements and finally fetch her after two months. Waiting was not easy even more so when he heard from a…

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5 Things I Did During Quarantine

It’s really been a while since I wrote a blog. 2020 feels like a decade on its own but I know we’ll get through all this. It’s currently Day 39 of the ECQ and I’ve stayed at home since except for some quick runs to the grocery. We’ve strictly followed the local government here to stay at home and practice social distancing when outside.

It has been 39 days; a pretty long time but I managed to do…

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To John Fer

This is probably not gonna end without me disappearing in a puddle of tears. I just wanna say how much I miss you and how much I regret involving you in all this mess. I made the wrong choice of making my emotions overpower what’s important to me – and it’s an understatement that you are.

I can’t even remember the last day we talked to each other. Probably it’s my short term memory loss – but do…

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Four Years Ago At this exact moment, four years ago, I gave it all away. I know I tell my friends to stop blaming me for throwing all of it – all of us.

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Old Self Four years. A pretty long time I may say. But it’s enough time for me to start anew.

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2018 is a life-changing year. A lot of great memories happened but a lot of trials and challenges have also come my way. But the important thing is we’re alive, we’re fighting, and we’re looking forward to a whole lot more ahead of us.

Sobrang surreal na matatapos na kaagad ‘yung taon when I think I just had my Cebu trip yesterday. Sobrang daming nangyare this year and as part of my resolution last year, I did not post anything about it – at least the trials that came my way.

Pero sobrang worth it ‘yung taon na ‘to. Kasi parang ito ‘yung pivotal year ng mga matagal nang questions sa isip ko about being an adult. Like, “Paano ba mahanap ‘yung gusto mong gawin?” or “Kaya ko bang magrisk?”. Lahat ng mga ‘yun ay nasagot within 2018 and I’m so thankful na kahit andaming struggles – eto. We. Are. Here.

Here are the highlights of my year – and a compilation of the memories I will remember forever. Sabi nga nila, “Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.” Now that the road of 2018 is about to end, andami kong gustong ipagpasalamat kay Lord – kasi althroughout the year, Siya ‘yung nasa tabi ko. Even when a lot of people left, I have a big God beside me – and He never left my side.

2018 TRAVELS

CEBU

LA UNION

BALER

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PALAWAN

BAGUIO

  LIFE MILESTONES

TURNED 23!

ENDED JOB IN ACCENTURE

BECAME MY FAMILY’S BREADWINNER

STARTED A NEW JOURNEY IN FRONTIER

AND STILL DID WHAT I LOVE – ORGANIZING EVENTS!

CAUGHT UP WITH AMAZING PEOPLE IN MY LIFE

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SUPPORTED MY MOM’S PASSION

CONCERTS

MORISETTE IS MADE

AND LASTLY…

CONTINUING LIFE WITH THE HOPE OF BETTER DAYS

2018… Thank U, NEXT!

2018… Thank U, Next! 2018 is a life-changing year. A lot of great memories happened but a lot of trials and challenges have also come my way.

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Why I Wanted to Be Financially Secure As soon I started working, I already thought about financial security and its widespread benefits to me and my family in the future.

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NBI Bataan Experience - Getting an NBI Clearance

I thought there was no hassle anymore in getting an NBI clearance these days. The only convenient part was to go online and get an appointment - which is also hassling if you’re not familiar with the website and paying on remote payment centers.

I scheduled an appointment last week for today. The only message I got was to copy the reference number, bring a valid ID, and head straight to the NBI branch I chose at the specified time.

And so I went there, and lo and behold, I was not allowed to get in because I was wearing shorts. I was also wearing colored contact lenses and the guy at the front desk told me that I had to remove it for the picture taking.

It was fine, I tell myself. But should they have placed this REQUIREMENT when I set my appointment online? Should the NBI have thought to inform people of this prior to going to their offices to AVOID hassle and going back and forth just to comply?

This is not hassle-free at all. And so I went back to the house and went to the NBI office again in complete attire. There were no lines in the NBI Bataan Satellite Office. But then, after getting my picture and biometrics, the guy said, “Balik na lang kayo sa February 8 for the release.“

I was shooketh. I thought I’ll get my NBI clearance today after all the hassle I’ve been through. Imagine, I set my appointment last week and there were no lines when I came in - and still, my clearance will be released after EIGHT MORE DAYS. Hassle-free? Nope.

I just wish that they could totally overhaul whatever process they have and make it 100% hassle-free to people. It does not take that long to verify my record on their database - IF they use the latest technology on their back-end, which I think not. 

When I got an NBI clearance in Pampanga a few years ago, I took an appointment and got my clearance on the day I went there. I think I should have just went there instead - at least I got the clearance right away. 

So, I think what I can do now is to breathe heavily and wait for February 8. My travel time to and from the NBI Office and then back home and then to the office again was even 5X longer the time I spent inside the office, Hassle-free? NO.

[mikeesmike]

WRAP IT UP

The Christmas party I’ve been planning for months is over and now nothing’s gonna make me super busy – which is good and bad at the same time. Good? Zero stress, zero dreams of it failing, and more time to move around and enjoy the rest of the year.

Bad? Hmmm, I kinda don’t like it when I’m not busy or when I’m doing absolutely nothing during my free time. Maybe I could just read a book or two, continue my calligraphy lessons, buy a pug (which I’ve been wanting for the longest time), or maybe spend my Christmas break at home and play PS4 all day.

2017 only has 11 days left – how to make it more fruitful? We’re gonna celebrate Christmas in Manila this year – the first time we won’t do it in Bataan. I’ll probably go to work after the festivities to take advantage of the extra pay. Or not. And just roam around the city and be stuck in traffic.

To be honest, this article does not amount to anything. I just wanted to spill my thoughts and not look back and re-edit this. Just type all the words down and never read it back. 2017 is ending and I’m gonna be 23 in 34 days. 2017 is ending and I’m ready for it.

Probably the reason why I feel so active right now is because of the amount of coffee I drank an hour ago – and not just regular coffee but something that came from somewhere. Not the usual Starbucks sugar drinks and not something from our native soil. So yup, I just had to say that extra fact because totally it made my night more awake than any other nights before.

If you’re still here, thanks for staying. I’m tired of people leaving or passing by. Or maybe you’ll pass by and leave as well after reading this so go on and have fun with your life.

But for mine, 2017 is ending but it feels like it’s just starting. I’ve only started solving my own problems, thinking of ways to cross over this icky feeling of sadness, and just continuing wherever there’s a road. We had 365 days in 2017. I’ve started it just a while ago and will be ending it on the 31st.

I don’t need 365 days to complete my year. I just need a few, a cup of strong coffee, and a good conversation. Let’s wrap up this year with a red fucking ribbon.

- M

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I’m Glad I Made Mistakes

If 2017 had a theme, for me it would be “The Year of Learning”.

I’m so glad I’ve made so many mistakes this year. I feel so relieved that I’ve learned lots of serious lessons in such my young age – something I’m gonna be thankful for when I grow older. These lessons – some learned the hardest way possible – made me realize that life is so much more than what I think it is.

This is also the year of realizations. Knowing my worth, who are important, and what makes them. I’ve realized that my world should not only revolve around what’s near to me. I’ve realized that people will come and go and that’s okay. I’ve realized that I needed to be more sensitive and insensitive at the same time.

I’ve learned the importance of keeping things to yourself and when to be outspoken. I’ve learned that love is not only something somebody could give in a whim. It takes time, it takes courage, and it takes effort to build itself.

I’ve learned that the truth is something I must not greed myself with. I’ve learned to love and accept it just as I accept who I am. I’ve learned that waiting is even better than getting what you want right away – because it teaches you patience and perseverance and loyalty.

This year, I’m glad I made the worst mistakes of my life – because during those times, I found who and what to cling to. During the hardest times, I found my refuge, my strength. I made a mistake and that did not define me at all. What I made to correct it did.

And so to 2018, I am ready to make more mistakes. I’m ready to fail harder. I’m ready to face struggles right to the neck because I know that’s where I’ll grow as a person. Learning must never stop the moment you step out. It also never stops when you get to your destination.

Learning is endless. Go make mistakes that your future self will be proud of.

[mikeesmike]

Tomorrow Is a New Day

For the most parts of my life, I’ve always been smothered by the false hopes of the phrase “I thought”. I thought I was there. I thought I made it. I thought the journey is done. I thought my hard work is enough. I thought I was enough.

But fate will come back and punch you straight to the face. And tell you that what you’ve ran is just a pinch of the lap. Tell you that what you’ve swam is just five strokes away. Tell you that what you have right now is not enough. Tell you that what you think you are is not good enough.

I know I’ve worked hard enough. I’m tired, overall, to be honest. I know I’ve said this before. I know I’ve told a few friends about it. But it didn’t show to those who don’t know. I did my best not to. Because it made me happy to make people think that I can do all things.

But here you go. The truth. I can’t. I’m tired. My four day vacation was just a band-aid to the deep wound that is my life. Come to think of it, I thought I’m gonna be okay. Because that’s what the songs said. That’s what the quotes said.

But when you come to the point where all you can do is cry and pray, you’ll know for sure that being okay is far from reality.

I just want to rest right now and keep it all in. Tomorrow is a new day.

[mikeesmike]

Dangerous Love

“Love is the most powerful emotion, and that makes it the most dangerous.” – Sara, Arrow

Your words they mend all wounds and scars

I didn’t expect we’d come this far

A stranger my eyes never laid upon

Is taking my heart for the run

From a place I’ve never been in, I found home

Now I don’t feel that much alone

Are you trouble, will you build our walls?

I’d only find out if I take the fall

You saved me from I don’t know what

From misery? Keep my eyes both shut

From happiness? I hope not

Can you save my heart when it rots?

I’ll take the leap, jump on a sea of clouds

Risky but curious on what this is about

Dangerous love – I hope it’s worth the risk

So baby come over, take another kiss

M.E.

[mikeesmike]

The Best Way to Fail at Life

I’ve come across different people and most of them taught me a valuable lesson. But the most striking lesson I learned or realized so far is the best way to failing at life – comparing yourself to other people.

Each and every person has a different path to take. We may overlap over one another but our journeys and destinations are all different. Some may get there too early – like a teenager getting pregnant or a 23-year old landing on a 6-digit salary. Some may even get there too late – like a 45-year old lady still looking for love or a 30-year old man who just earned his college degree.

Either way, knowing that all our lives are etched with unique designs and all our paths have different twists, turns, and destinations, you would realize how useless it really is to compare your life to other people. Not only will this force you to take the risky shortcuts but it will also drill into your mind that you are a failure and that it will be hard for you to cope up.

If that’s the best way to fail at life, here’s how to get successful. Mind your own business. Keep your eyes on the road. Make sure to always be the best version of yourself. If you fail, stand up. If you succeed, enjoy the victory and get better. Keep going and never stop. Let your dreams be your fuel. Let your aspirations be your energy to move everyday and take a new distance.

Focusing on yourself is not being selfish. It’s about taking your own weight and making big leaps for your own good and for your future. At the end of the day, we are all individuals riding on our own trains with different railroads. Time to hustle and get to the next station!

[mikeesmike]

Planning, planning, and planning!

I remember when I was in college, we used to plan parties and events for 50-100 students. I was in charge with the program stuff and public materials to be sent out. I had to say I enjoyed the heck of it because deep inside I know I have an event organizer in me! Lol

Now that I’m out of school and in the corporate world, a lot of things remained and a lot changed. I’m happy that I’m still trusted with events at my current job and we still plan just like the old days. But now, we do it not for 50, but for 500 people.

October has been all about planning and approvals. I swear the e-mails I’ve sent and received when printed and stacked together can go thicker than an encyclopedia. But really, the fun of it all is how everything starts to fall to their rightful places when it was all nothing but blank paper to begin with.

For me, event organizing could be an amazing day job and I really think it’s meant for me just because I enjoy it and I love talking to people. I bet the coming months will be more chaotic and fun until we reach the day of the Christmas party. I’m suuuuper excited with what’s in store for everybody!

Anybody here who’s from the office? Lol, sorry but I can’t disclose anything yet. We’ll probably send out invites this week or the week after. Cheers!

[mikeesmike]

These Four Corners

These four corners remind me of what’s out there Where oceans are deep and forests are bare Where skies are blue and birds fly high Where mornings are better and life goes by   Let’s go out - take the journey ahead I’d rather be here than freeze on my bed These four corners are nothing but sorrow Let’s just leave today and not tomorrow   But the world outside has come so dark What’s left of fire is a dying spark Now I’d rather stay in four corners alone Where no one judges my every bone

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The Hardest Thing to Forget

We’ve all come to one point in our lives where we feel really bad at the things we did and did not. It’s like you’re stuck in a phase where the only direction you want to be in is backwards – to fix things, to bring it all back the way they used to be, or to make it right all over again.

But that’s over and done. And the hardest thing to forget about it is the feeling of having it all at once and seeing it all fade away. We can never bring back time. We can never see daylight when all we wanted was night. We can never love the way we did if we fill our hearts with hate.

And you’ll realize that not all people is given the chance to change. The opportunity to at least restore some of what was lost. When you get that chance, grab it right away and start all over again.

But this time, not regretting what’s lost but appreciating what’s left. Getting better on what you have and learning on what you don’t. Move forward, dear. And make it better.