mikkaanne

[mikkaanne]

2015 going 2023

back to writing and scribbling thoughts after almost 8 years.. 

life update -

moved in my new apt (living alone)

cav house renovation

trying to save while still enjoying my my earnings (ty lord for BSP)

 STILL trying to break old habits

trying to be healthy :)

[mikkaanne]

life lesson

you do not need anything to prove/do to be able to fit in. what’s meant for you will always fit perfectly. :> so many things/frustrations i wanted to say but i cant translate it into words. i guess to sum it all, we should learn how to thrive ALONE

[mikkaanne]

bittersweet

realizing how my life changed after 2015... from falling in love with someone i didn’t expect, to continuing what 2015 had in store with me but with a different person, to discovering a love that taught me how important morals is, and finally finding someone i’ll spend the rest of my life with (hopefully hihi); i never knew life would be this challenging but as what i have always said circa 2015 i will never regret meeting those people no matter how sad, painful and traumatic it was because once in my life, i knew it was what i wanted...

[mikkaanne]

adulting

being wise about my expenses isn’t something i practice for the last 8 months. i sometimes spend more than what i earn wc obviously sacrifices my savings. living a comfortable life includes spending so so much and before im fine with it. i used to say i can afford it and i am working to live a comfortable life but when several people told me that im spending a looot over food, leisure, transpo and my kaartehan i found myself agreeing to them. im not 100% cautious about my expenses now but compared before i can say i improved.

e.g. buying my dinner before going home to avoid excessive food delivery charges; taking jeepneys on my way home to avoid overpriced grab cars; not going to malls every work sched to avoid buying unnecessary things; house tambay with bf to avoid impulsive fast food & samgy dine ins; and listing down groceries & esp watsons products.

so heres to small wins ✨ may we (i) always remember that blissful things can be found aside from spending too much 🌈

[mikkaanne]

[mikkaanne]

ahhh ganon pala dapat

Better

[mikkaanne]

me to all the dudes in my dm

Ffloyd goes for the kill

[mikkaanne]

03 Oct 2020

I always find writing as a medium to express all my unsaid thoughts and feelings especially the sad ones. I don’t know why I feel extra sad tonight, I feel like crying my lungs out but where ??? i mean i need my own place. I don’t want people to know im crying. 

Siz is sad because of the same person :( im a coward, i wish i can ask you every question i have in mind, i wish i can tell you how badly i want “us” :( 

pls if this isn’t worth it, help me move on completely :( 

[mikkaanne]

15 SEPT 2020

I must’ve admit i can’t remember the last time i was genuinely happy on my own. But today????? I mean sis??????? im not even sure why i am so damn happy??? no kv from bebe and nothing special at work naman ata??? pero wala masaya lang me. hoping na this will continue - being happy on my own, minding my own shit, eating the shit i like, and allowing my self to shine in a room full of strangers. =)

songs on repeat:

heebiejeebies, morning, self control

[mikkaanne]

Meirl

[mikkaanne]

I’m getting too old for this shit

[mikkaanne]

I’m getting too old for this shit

[mikkaanne]

hi it is monday, aug 17 12:21PM

just wanna remind myself of the promise i made kanina hehe will do everything for myself and not for anybody else :) work on bringing back the confidence i lost after the break up, to never settle for less, to be seen and heard ++ not to be quiet at work. i got this

[mikkaanne]

ME

meirl

[mikkaanne]

sana all HAHAH

hmmm

[mikkaanne]

hmmm

[mikkaanne]

worriez

literally making a list of what bothers me these days to tick off those na im okay na. 

a. grad school prob; seriously thinking what program should i enroll in. really wanted to pursue law pero im not that confident with myself, meaning im stuck in taking up ma psych indus syempre duh para in line sa work (ahhh if u can only see how my eyes rolled hahahha)

b. still working on slowly allowing myself to loosen up sa work kasi p0ta im tired of pretending na im a quiet shy ghorL pero ang totoo naman siz is really a madaldal na team player ;)

c. move on or waiting game???? been asking myself this thing for ___months ( yes i am deleting some contex, realized na this might be too public haha) na,, as of now naman talaga ZERO as in zero pa talaga pero ugh super frustrated in the fact na diko talaga alam gagawin ko. lowkey alam ko na naman wc is to move on with my life pero ugh sayang kasi if ever bcos i can clearly picture myself with this dude and TRUST ME diko rin alam bakit???????? i clearly know na he doesn’t give a damn about me like super sure even before kasi duh siya lang nakabenefit sa lahat LIKE ZERO FUCK about me gets ko yun. nakakatanga ka talaga lol

d. prayers lately: i really really hope na i will be your end game :(

e. feeling empty talaga me shet i wish i can still talk to my college friends abt whats happening with my life rn.

f. twice this week i cried because of an ex,, literally hoping na this person is happy. also, bittersweet because ive been seeing the achievements na before kami yung nag fforsee hahaha im happy that little by little ex is being successful. If only you would know how thankful i am for your existence and for giving me plenty of reasons to be in love with life again. i am sorry for messing things up, for not being open about how i truly feel, for just not being good enough. whoever you’ll end up with i genuinely hope na you’ll be happy. also, pls invite me to your wedding hahaha i wanna see you smile on your day 1 of spending your lifetime with someone you truly deserve ;)

BITCH IS CRYING AGAIN I NEED TO END THIS HERE. 

-m