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mil-r0sas · 18 days ago

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I’ve also been feeling so hateful towards my writing. Like nothing I write gets finished which is fine I am writing after all but I leave things there to rot and lose interest so quickly like I was SO EXCITED about this Joel x oc series. I have a lot of it mapped out and outlined but I over analyze everything I write even if I don’t want to share it I feel like my English is so limited and I cant barely consume any new media because I can’t focus on anything like I’ve read 4 books this years and that’s it we’re in July girl get a grip

I don’t enjoy doing things anymore and I hate it so much makes me want to cry I want my old self back. Like I genuinely cannot comprehend how in 2020/2021 I wrote basically two books in the span of seven months????? Now I can barely write 2k words a month

#I genuinely think moving to and English speaking country would fix this for me #Because I can’t for the life of me write in my own language

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mil-r0sas · 18 days ago

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I’ve applied to so many jobs I don’t even know what I want anymore I just know I need money because I will go to Canada eventually because it’s calling me just how the place I lived in up until April called me but it didn’t last long I was supposed to go back in October but job became shittier so I said no now I don’t know what to do I feel so behind in life I genuinely don’t know what to do with my life anymore 24 year old me had her life figured out, lived independently, until she felt like she stopped growing at her job, didn’t get the opportunity she wanted so I quit and had to move back home with my parents now I feel like I won’t be able to move again in the near future and I need to leave. My home town makes me sick and depressed I just need to run but I miss my parents so much when I’m away but when I’m away I feel so free I hate it hereeeeeeeee

#No punctuation sorry this is how my brain has been functioning lately my eye won’t stop twitching #Cat pls #I applied to the working holiday Canada pool again and I know this time I’ll get the invitation I just know it #So all I have to do is save money again and get the fuck away hopefully by next year I’ll be there

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mil-r0sas · 29 days ago

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I keep forgetting I made this blog for my cat pls tag JAHSHSK sorry babes

#im archiving everything in dudeitiskarev just to keep it as a writing blog #it’s taking me so long to private all my shit I really yap way too much and for what

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mil-r0sas · 1 month ago

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applying for jobs again 🫠 when will this stop

why did younger me chose a career that requires being so social

#cat pls #oh I know she hated herself for being shy and introverted so she wanted to force herself into being social😔