milkoats

[milkoats]

god this post is really late but i need 2 make a first post at some point right

“summer’s nearly over and i have the time & space to enjoy my own company for a while” is all i had here to start with and tbh i cannot remember when i took these pictures.... but im back at uni now and have been for more than a month now i guess and like. idk i don't feel homesick i just don't feel like im loving this too much rn no lie? having the time and space to enjoy my own company is what i’m longing for atm, which is pretty good bc tomorrow i’m heading home for a few days. i need a bit of a breather.

i’ve met some wonderful people already at the start of the term, which feels good and exciting, i’m bonding with classmates from last year i definitely didn���t spend enough time with before, and it’s nice to have a space that really is my own, and live with housemates i genuinely like and see eye to eye with. that said though i do still feel oddly isolated out here.... mostly bc after what is honestly a not so long day of class i come back to a full house but everyone is cooped up in their room? 

nobody ever seems to want to go out and do much of anything, or play games together, or walk for like more than 15 minutes and it’s intensely frustrating. i genuinely cannot understand how they manage this without feeling horrendously antsy, but i suppose i just seriously hate being cooped up, so we don't really gel very well in this regard ..? 

anyway. i was meant to work this weekend but my shifts have been cancelled, so i’ll be heading home. i’m just going to read, recoup (hopefully), and get some peace & quiet... i plan to do some more leisure reading too- i was reading coin locker babies when i was in the process of moving in here, and finishing that book was really satisfying. it has been a tough one to get into tbh but there was something really hard hitting and visceral about the whole thing and i’m glad i saw it through? it’s funny , i picked it up at the beginning of my freshman year and i’m only just now finishing it in time to start this second year. i have a lot of sōseki and murakami to plough through so that ought to keep me busy for some time. 

it’s really late and i should sleep bc i have a meeting with fanis in <12 hours and idk what he’s going to ask me about really? i don't want to meet with him rn tbh bc i’m kinda upset and stressed , not in a fantastic frame of mind atm on the whole if i’m being frank. but im excited to go home and be back where i feel like i belong a bit more for a short while. i just need a bit of reprieve i guess

tomorrow i can kinda, weigh in on how tomorrow went in the end, but i think things’ll be ok... briefly i think it’s worth me mentioning that even with the markedly lower amount of exercise im doing here and the much more intense amount of drinking, i’m somehow still keeping on a steady path with losing weight? like, it’s the least ideal time of the month for me to weigh myself but i came in @ 165 the other day , when i was maybe 171? 172? when i first moved in here, which is an odd but pleasant surprise? i haven’t lost any muscle mass (supposedly. not sure how much i trust my cheap scale on that one) so i suppose i’m carrying on alright. i’ll make a longer post on that by itself at some point though, this is disorganised and long enough already

but yeah like i tidied up this space an meant to start using it a few weeks before moving out but... here i am , weeks after and not in the same , happy , buzzing place mentally but ho hum! gotta learn to make do. 

until next time~ x