millicentisdone - Tumblr blog

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Watching Star Wars was a mistake. For years I’ve derived so much pleasure from seeing discourse on my timeline that’s like “it’s actually a pretty good writing choice that Glimbo Knutts manipulated the imbledimbians in the force to make Darth Freeble his personal jedi froogler. It gives the original trilogy more depth” and not knowing what the fuck anybody is talking about. But now I do and it’s ruined. I understand what you freak ass dorks are saying and it isn’t fun anymore. Glimbo Knutts making Darth Freeble his jedi froogler DOES give the original trilogy more depth. This sucks man

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plo koon, waking up in a cold sweat at 3am: did i forget to tell wolffe i love him

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Rexani5 - enemies to lovers.

My friend, easy as pie and this got way longer than I thought it would.

To set the stage, let’s say Anakin wasn’t allowed to become a Jedi or left at age 12. 

He is, of course, followed by Obi-Wan because I live for that banter and BrOtp

Anakin returns to Tatooine and at the age of let’s say 16, leads and wins a slave rebellion (and becomes the leader of Free Tatooine at 17 much to his dismay and Obi-Wan’s amusement)

Since Tatooine is out in the Outer Rim, the Core and Senate really do not care one smidgen. They have the beginnings of the Separatist Crisis making waves. What does one little planet matter?

It very much matters after over two years later when it comes to light that Free Tatooine has a very strong sense of community and will not stand for Slavery. Anywhere.

Slavers have gone missing. Planets that make profits from slavery have found themselves with their leader mysteriously murdered.  Even the criminal network have rumours of bounty hunters winding up dead on the Hutts’ doorstep after being sent after Skywalker and those around him

(Anakin is a little insulted his bounty is only half a million credits.) 

A great many planets have entered into an agreement with Free Tatooine to wipe out corruption and slavery. 

Orn Free Taa, in a moment of consciousness, announces Ryloth’s alignment with Tatooine. (Greedy, corrupt bastard he may be, but he does love his people who have been the target for slavers for generations.) 

This results in a very tense three-way stand-off between The Republic, The Separatist Alliance and The Freedom Coalition.

The Separatists did try to get The Coalition on side but swiftly told where to stick it.

The Clone Wars do not break out primarily because neither the Separatists nor the Republic can afford to fight a three-way war.

They are also very aware that the Freedom Coalition can, thanks to an alliance with various pirates, private security firms and support that would have been on one side or the other but have chosen the Coalition. 

Even the neutrals are smaller.

Sidious is fuming.

It nearly breaks out when both the droid and clone armies are found but Speaker Shmi Skywalker sends a message to both sides that promises swift retribution if either side engages. 

The Separatist have known connections to the Hutts and various slaving organisations.

The Republic has the Clones. Enough said there.

This doesn’t mean that either side won’t take pot-shots at each other for a year or so.

So we come to the part where our trio meet.

Captain Rex of the 501st is sent with a squad to scout on Tatooine and bring any information about the leader to the Republic. His team comprises of ARC Troopers Fives and Echo, Kix, Jesse, Hardcase and Dogma.

Everyone was a little surprised at Dogma’s inclusion but the guy proved to be very sneaky and Echo’s influence has loosened him up a bit.

Fives and Rex have been hovering on the edge of something for a while now but Rex doesn’t want to start anything while he’s still Fives’ superior officer. 

Fives thinks that’s a load of Sith spit but is willing to wait.

Scouting team lands on Tatooine no problem.

Okay, slight problem. They disturb a Krayt dragon.

Fortunately, they are saved by the arrival of a blond male native who uses various calls to scare off the dragon and rescue the group.

The charming smirk and casual demeanour means Fives falls a little bit in love at first sight.

Echo is starting to believe his batchmate just has a thing for blondes who look good shooting things.

The stranger asks for their names and can clearly see they are all clones but he doesn’t comment on it. Just nudges them back to their ship and suggests they leave all while smiling charmingly and genuinely asking about themselves.

They’re just packing up and preparing to report a mission failure when Fives gets the guts to ask the stranger for his name.

“I’m Anakin Skywalker. Have a safe trip home, fellas.”

Anakin Skywalker, leader of Free Tatooine and of the Freedom Coalition, Chainbreaker, Slaver Killer, probably the most dangerous man in the Galaxy, and the man they were sent to spy on. And he’s just letting them go?

Rex is very confused.

Fives is too busy staring at Skywalker’s ass as he leaves and the cute bewildered look on his captain’s face.

Echo comes to the conclusion Fives definitely has a thing for authoritive blondes who look good shooting things.

The second time they meet is on a battlefield. 

The Freedom Coalition refuses to fight the clone army so they usually just take out the Admirals or Generals.

The clones are a little infuriated about this.

Some, however, take advantage and surrender. Slick of the 212th was one such clone who turned himself over to gain his freedom.

Anakin winds up facing Captain Rex in an attempt to kidnap Admiral Yularen.

Anakin really doesn’t want to hurt a fellow ‘slave’.

Rex just wants to take this guy in.

It ends with Anakin getting grazed by blaster fire and Rex with a small concussion. 

Anakin finds himself very intrigued by the clone captain and by the ARC Trooper who brazenly cussed him out when he arrived with back-up.

“You know most people just talk to the ones they are crushing on. Not stalk them.”“Shut it Obi-Wan. We can’t all just flirt our way in and out of fights with Commander Cody.”

So it goes like that for a while. Anakin shows up, Fives and Rex face off against him. There’s banter involved. Anakin makes the mistake of saying something vaguely flirtatious to them once and then disappears for a month. Fives proceeds to use that line every time they see Anakin thereafter. Rex pulls them both back on track. Sometimes the clones win the fight, others Anakin wins. 

Remember, Anakin, Rex and Fives all believe they are fighting for the right cause. Rex does try to make the case for pro-Republic but can’t answer when Anakin asks him if the Republic is as good as he thinks it is.

There is one time that an explosion goes off and Anakin almost sacrifices himself to hold back the blast. Neither Fives or Rex take the chance to take Anakin into custody. Instead, Anakin finds himself in a coalition medbay with a note asking him not to do anything so stupid ever again.

Eventually, the Separatists make a bid and declare open war. Grievous and Dooku are sent after Anakin and Obi-Wan in an attempt to throw the Freedom Coalition into disarray. 

What they didn’t expect was the Delegation of 2000 had managed to cut a deal with the Coalition, present it to the Senate, got it passed and was able to create a treaty between the two states. 

Clone Rights are still hotly debated but under the treaty, no clone can be decommissioned for any reason and any clone has the right to a fair trial. Small victories but necessary ones.

Grievous and Dooku’s forces are met with not only The Freedom Coalition’s fleet but also the 501st and 212th.

Anakin is very relieved to see both Rex and Fives come charging to his rescue. 

He is also swooning a bit because it’s almost like a scene straight out of Love Under Adleraanian Skies.

Fives watches as Anakin decapitate three droids and Rex shoot off the head of a forth and decides Yes, these are the men I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Rex comes to a similar conclusion as Anakin gently force-heals a blaster burn on his bicep after the fight while Fives hovers worriedly behind him.

Dooku and Grievous die in the Final battle. 

During clean up, several transmissions are found to Dooku from a Sith Lord. The transmissions are tracked back to Coruscant. To the Chancellor’s Office to be precise. 

The Freedom Coalition has been trying to track down exactly who has been leaking intel, arranging numerous kidnapping attempts and secretly attacking their forces for a good couple of years. 

Dooku’s intel also shows that while he arranged most of that, it was under orders.

So basically

(I hope you like this. I spent 10 minutes making it and 15 giggling over it.)

Anakin, Obi-Wan, a few Jedi Masters, three Senators and a squad of clones confront Palpatine over the evidence.

The result is several explosions, a dead senator, two dead Jedi, a dead Sith Lord and a Republic Senate thrown into chaos.

Sidious tries to activate Order 66 but fails since the Freedom Coalition does a full check up on any defecting clones and found the chip ages ago. They developed a virus that made them null with plans to remove them asap.

The Freedom Coalition graciously takes over providing aid to the war-torn worlds with a warning to the Senate they will only return to the Republic if certain conditions are met. The Senate agrees.

One of which are complete rights for all clones.

In this world, Anakin loses his arm to Sidious after pushing Fives out of the way of a strike. That allows Rex to shoot him in the head and then for Anakin to shove a lightsaber through his heart. Fives shoots him as well “just in case sir.”

When Anakin wakes up with his new arm, it’s not Fives but Rex who presses a relieved kiss to his lips. Fives does follow up almost as soon as Rex pulls away.

Anakin is a bit too dazed to think properly and as such promises not to do that again. 

At least not without them.

They spend the rest of Anakin’s stay in medical actually talking about where they want this to go and their feelings. 

Since Anakin isn’t emotionally repressed and is allowed to make attachments, it goes a lot better than it would have otherwise.

Rex gave into Fives’ not-quite-pestering after the Final Battle and both started plotting how to bring Anakin into it.

Either way, Echo and Plo Koon’s padawan, Ahsoka Tano, make a lot of money when the relationship is revealed.

Rex, Fives and Anakin all get married in a lovely ceremony on Tatooine with Shmi, Obi-Wan and the 501st in attendance. 

Hondo shows up with a bottle of vintage wine as a gift and to take photos to flog on the black market. 

Obi-Wan gets busted in Commander Cody’s bed with said Commander the next morning. 

Hardcase discovers the joys of fireworks and makes several friends Rex rather wishes he hadn’t.

Fives discovers Anakin’s butt really is as firm as it looks and that Rex will go red if both he and Ani whisper naughty things into the captain’s ears.

AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Bonus Round: Alternative Ideas Include -

Sith! Anakin, who prefers not to kill the clones out of some sense of kinship, is fighting against the Republic and comes across Captain Rex and ARC Trooper Fives. Instead of killing each other, each are intrigued by the other. It ends up with Sidious exposed and Darth Vader gaining two loyal bodyguards/lovers.

Fives is a superhero in a world that dislikes them, Anakin is a supervillain (though more Megamind, Less Joker) and Rex is a cop who wants arrest both.

Pride and Prejudice au with Anakin as Elizabeth, Rex as Darcy and Fives as a weird blend in the middle.

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Things Clone Troopers do to subtly annoy their Jedi, without it seeming like they’re doing it on purpose:

-Constantly pretend the Jedi got their names wrong and gently correcting them

-(Commanders and ARC troopers): switch which shoulder the pauldron is on, and when questioned, act like it’s always been there

-tell wildly different stories about the meanings of certain hairstyles or tattoos

-clear your throat every time your Jedi says a certain word during a briefing

-yell “YES SIR” as loudly as possible, no matter how close your Jedi is standing

-talk loudly to each other about the Force, getting things as wrong as possible, within earshot of as many Jedi as you can

-whenever a Jedi gives you Sage Jedi Advice ™ turn to the nearest brother, tears in your eyes and go “so wise. So knowing. My life is changed. I am hydrated” etc.

-walk down the hallway past your Jedi, making random absurd mouthsounds to your brothers. Claim it’s a Unique Clone Language. Change the nonsense syllables every time and see how many Unique Clone Languages you can convince them you have.

-Whenever anyone mentions Yoda, say “Force rest his soul”. Keep doing it no matter how many times your Jedi insists that Yoda isn’t dead.

-”99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 99 BOTTLES OF BEEEEER-”

-choose a random, innocuous phrase, like “extra charge packs”, and whenever anyone says it, for whatever reason, burst into laughter and roll around on the ground like it’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard in your life. If questioned, say “oh, it’s just a clone joke, sir, you wouldn’t get it”

-Choose a random, less innocuous word, like “cockles” and see how many times you can work it into a mission report, debriefing, or planning session without arousing suspicion

-coordinate with every single other trooper on the ship to simultaneously drop whatever they’re holding at the exact same time

-(Cody): sneak into Obi-Wan’s quarters whenever he leaves and trim off the bottom inch or so of all of his tunics. See if he notices before he ends up wearing crop-tops.

-(Rex): get Hardcase to wire a mouse droid to untie Anakin’s bootlaces and re-tie them together. If you time it right, he doesn’t notice until he tries to take a step.

-constantly confuse Jedi with other Jedi, pretend to be as bad at telling them apart as most non-clones are at telling clones apart.

-fake absurd over-the-top hero worship, for another unit’s Jedi, post fanart in places where your own Jedi will see it regularly

-Convince your Jedi that today is a Special Clone Holiday, and we just can’t work today sir, not on Jango Day. See how many fake Clone Holidays you can convince them to let you take off.

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Doodle from when @jhaernyl was over~ (I have some old and some new drawings on paper that I’m gonna be posting)  The Obi-Wan picture is supposed to be drawn on a gunship (but I kinda forgot to draw it)

Anakin’s ongoing adventures in shipping his ex Master and his Captain. This should be a series

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How they respond when asked, “who is Captain Rex?”

Cody: a fuckin nerd

Anakin: my right-hand man

Ahsoka: the guy who tells me where Anakin hides his candy stash

Obi-Wan: one of the bravest men I know

Wolffe: a guy with a spine of steel, but that spine is actually the stick shoved up his ass

Cody, again: a total fucking NERD

Fox: currently polling #3 on the list of Sexiest Commanders in the GAR

Fives: my own personal hero whose name i might have tattooed on my ass once

Echo: the guy whose name Fives got tattooed on his ass once

Dogma: my commanding officer

Kix: my third biggest headache

Cody, still talking: an adorable idiot NERD

Padme: the only reason I still have a husband

Bly: the only commander in the group chat who didn’t make fun of me for drawing little hearts around General Secura’s name on the battle plans

Cody, who may or may not currently have Rex in a headlock: my stupid little baby brother NERD

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i love how in like 80% of Clone Wars fixit fics palpatine just up and dies in the background. like no one even cares how he dies, he just does. like the characters are going about their business, falling in love, setting up clone colonies, dealing with trauma, or whatever and at some point it’s just like “oh yeah and the chancellor choked on a bagel and died last week”

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Space twins ⭐

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Thrawn: Hey Eli?

Eli: Uh huh?

Thrawn (internally): I love you,  You’re wonderful. Sometimes I just want to kiss you so bad.

Thrawn, out loud: I…like…art.

Eli: Yes Thrawn, I know you like art.

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Bail: “Why do you have a Jedi’s lightsaber?!” Padmé: “because we FUCKIN”

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yeah

based on this

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So! It seems my last set of Star Wars head cannons was pretty popular, so I have come up with some more!  Mostly because these were all bouncing around my head and I don’t have the energy/will power to write them all. These are all Obi-wan Clone Wars centric, too…

- Obi-wan and Ahsoka are both ambidextrous  

- The first time Ahsoka caught Anakin fiddling with his mechanical hand she shrieked and dropped whatever she was holding. Anakin had to explain to her that ‘no, this isn’t really common’ and ‘no, I didn’t do it on purpose’ and ‘yes, i can feel things with that hand’ and ‘yes, of course Obi-wan knows about it, why wouldn’t he’ 

Keep reading

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AU where Padme has her kids safely and Obi-Wan comes to visit occasionally:

Obi-Wan: *has one of the babies in his arms*

Anakin: *enters*

Obi-Wan: oh, look! daddy’s home!

Anakin: !!!

Padme: !!!

Anakin: how did you?!?

Obi-Wan: *still talking to baby*

Obi-Wan: aah, daddy though we didn’t know

O: he thought we were stupid

O: he said he did lightsaber training every time he was gone

O: even though his technique didn’t improve a bit

O: and it’s still sloppy even now

O: because daddy’s a great big liar~

Anakin: …

Obi-Wan:

Obi-Wan:

Obi-Wan: isn’t that right?

baby: *coos*

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Super sloppy baze and chirrut doodle prompts from this very cute meme