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[millksea]

240428 JISUNG Weibo ulUpdate

"🤩 It was a good memory"

Translated by SM_NCT

[millksea]

youth

word count: 271 genre/theme: angst, mention of death sweethartlullaby ꕤ masterlist

I know I’m not seventeen anymore.  I’m not the teenage girl, thirsting for someone to finally listen to her. I’m not as broken anymore. I can say “I love you” to my parents without the pinch in my heart. I can talk to them about the things that happened after seventeen.  I don’t crave him anymore. I no longer push against the winds for less. I no longer fight battles to be held. I am safe. I am loved. Yet, I read over the messages that I sent when I was seventeen.  I sifted through millions of them, scrolling endlessly as I poured my heart into the hands of the people I trust.  Then, I remember.  I remember the things I was called. The loneliness that creeps back up my throat. The hatred for my soul, the willingness to leave. I remember why anger travels in my blood, why sadness is etched into my heart. I can never forget how my youth is forever tied to the people that I don’t talk to anymore.  I thought the sea had washed it away. Someone must have opened the bottle and found seventeen me inside Still feeling, still hurting, still begging. I want to forget again. I want to scrub it off me.  I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to remember; not the way I had to scream, not the way I was cast aside, not the way the promises made were broken. I wish to erase all of it.  I used to pray to die. And now I pray for strength.  Please don’t make me knock on death’s door again. 

a/n: just a lil drabble. i'll be back with updates on 'you, among the art' and other stories soon! and if you're reading this, i hope you realize that even if you aren't seventeen anymore (or whatever age), it doesn't have to be a bad thing. you've changed and you're still here. we're all proud of you.

[millksea]

Xdinary Heroes as netflix film poster

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leader line (ft. wonu cat)

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Leeknow from a while ago I forgot to post!

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highly important culturally significant collection of snoozis

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Joshua🐰

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I attempted seungkwan but I think I accidentally made his jaw too sharp😅 ig I’ll have to try again soon :)

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You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess it’s a love story baby just say.. yes🤍

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I’ve been getting really into seventeen recently so here’s a drawing of their leader!

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Yeonjun, my fav 4th gen gg member

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“you know how i feel about you, right?” for @choiyeonjuns

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SEUNGMIN – ‘Case 143’ fancams

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8 things about bangchan → happy bangchan day ★

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SEUNGMIN – ‘CASE 143’ COMEBACK STAGE @ Music Bank (221007)

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CHANGBIN | ’SKZ VARIETY GAMES #1’